Without Hakuryu - The Bloopers!
by: ~wrinkle~
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------
Nota bene: Na, this is not a 'hidden agenda' to force you into reading my fic however...it would really help if you have read the fic itself ;D After all, that is where these bloopers would come from.
The idea of having 'bloopers' or 'screws up' in fan-fic is not my original idea. Kudos should go to Kat Aclysm, who's a wonderful Final Fantasy VII fan-fic writer. You should find her stories here.
It's an ambitious attempt since the source of the bloopers is already a humor fic in itself. Humoring the humor fic is quite...a silly idea. But do tell me how it is. ;D Thanks to everyone who have commented!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------
There is always a process in fan-fiction making. In contrast to popular belief, it takes days to months to even as years. This is especially true when you are dealing with the Sanzo-ikkou. When a huge chunk of the time is devoted to convincing them to do it.
"How about a plane trip to the west?"
Goku, Gojyo and Hakkai's eyes enlarged, "A Plane trip to the West????"
"Iiya," Sanzo blew a ring of smoke, "It sounds too good."
"Well what if we teach you a new Evil sutra technique?"
"If there would be one, I would be the first to know," Sanzo insisted.
"What if we change your Exorcism gun to the EX007910791AD?"
"...Do you really want to?"
Goku, Gojyo and Hakkai rapidly shook their heads, "IIYA! IIYA!!!!!!"
Well that was eventually settled later.
'Without Hakuryu' is a humor fic about the Sanzo-ikkou being stranded in a desert and must fend with themselves without Hakuryu. It's the same 'baka bouzu'-'ero kappa'-baka saru' and 'maa maa' way, but with a new twist of course.
"WHAT? I get to be hit 50 times??" Goku exclaimed.
"Erm, we'll change that..."
"Shucks, that sounds so much fun..." Gojyo smirked, crossing his arms.
"Well it says here that you get to be hit the same number of times..."
"Oi?? Doushite???"
Sanzo apparently only scanned the script, flipped the thing and confidently concluded, "Who would write such a piece of crap?"
Gee, you just have to mean, don't you?
"You have a problem?"
Erm...Anyway, on to the bloopers...
---------------------------
"And Action!"
Narrator speaks, "...Why then is he feeling that way? If he is used to traveling, from dusk to dawn...Why only now? Why only now does he feel the need to..."
"To piss?" Gojyo asked.
"..."
*Take 2*
Narrator speaks, "Why then is he feeling that way? If he is used to traveling, from dusk to dawn...Why only now? Why only now does he feel the need to..."
"*burp*"
"Oooh, that was a good one," Gojyo remarked.
"Erm, cut?"
Goku sighed, "Haraheta desu...When's our break?"
"Gee, we haven't even really started yet..."
-------------------------
"Action!"
"Hakuryu!" Cho Hakkai stood up immediately, looking frantically around, "HAKURYU!!" He now ran back and forth, still looking for the creature, "Hakuryu?" He ran again near Gojyo now, "Hakuryu!"
Gojyo whispered while still lying on the sandy ground, waiting for his cue, "Oi...Isn't it taking too long for Hakuryu to show up?"
"Hakuryu!"
"...k..k...kyu...u..."
"Agh! Goku! You're sitting on him!"
----------------------------
"And Action!"
"Easy for you to say, Kono Bakabouzu," Gojyo snorted, lagging behind, "For someone who's used to pilgrimages..."
*WHAM!!*
"Oi!!" Gojyo rubbed his head, "That wasn't in the script!"
"It wasn't?"
-------------------------
"Action!"
(Sanzo) "Do you know how your moronic words are driving me insane that if I hear one more...I will ....oh sh*t..."
*Take 2*
"Do you know how your moronic words are driving me insane that if I hear one more...I will prohibit you from even eating Gojyo for the rest of your life!"
"Oi..."
*Take 3*
"Do you know how...crap...why the hell are the lines too long anyway?!"
Oops.
-------------------------
(Another 'long line' syndrome.)
"Action!"
(Goku) "Better than an ero kappa for the rest of your life and flirt on younger women when...anou...what was I saying?"
"CUT!"
*Take 2*
"Better than an ero kappa for the rest of your life and flirt on younger women when you already look like a baka saru!"
"Eh?"
Gojyo clutched on his abdomen laughing.
*Take 3*
"Better than an ero kappa for the rest of your life and flirt on younger women when you already look like a...naa, haraheta desu..."
*Take 500*
"Better than an ero kappa for the rest of your life and flirt on younger women when you already look like a horse!"
"...."
Hakkai whispered, "Psst...Oi...Gojyo..."
"O?" Gojyo lifted his head with eyes half-shut, "Nani? ...Oh yeah...'Teme!'"
"CUT!!!!"
"ERO KAPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!"
----------------------------
"And, action!"
"Ohoho," Hakkai had chuckled with the steaming Sanzo by his side, "I think that was a good joke, do you think so Hakuryu?"
"kyukyukyukyuuu..."
"CUT! Shouldn't that be 'kyukyu'?"
Hakuryu perked up, "Kyu? Kyukyukyukyu!"
"Ne?" Hakkai scratched his head, "Would the readers know what he is saying anyway?"
-------------------------
"All right! Quiet in the set!"
"Wait," Sanzo held his palm up, "I left my gun in the van."
"You don't need that in this scene!
"I don't care. I still left it."
"No one's gonna steal it!"
"I said I'll get it."
"Oh don't be childish..."
*click* "What?"
"Oh there it is ..."
----------------------------
Gojyo only mimicked Sanzo's dialogue. "Tsk, I could be sleeping the afternoon with some women."
"I could be eating in the temple..." Goku chorused.
"I could be getting a shower," Sanzo muttered to himself.
"Oooh," Gojyo grinned, "bouzu's feeling hot..."
"Urusei."
-------------------------------
"Action!"
"Is that...a cart?" Gojyo squinted his eyes to see better.
"Is that a bird?"
"CUT!"
"Bird??" Gojyo threw his hands, "Where the hell did that come from??"
"I dunno...Somehow it sounded right..."
*Take 2*
"Is that...a cart?" Gojyo squinted his eyes to see better.
"Is that a...well...cart?"
"CUT!"
*Take 3*
"Is that...a cart?" Gojyo squinted his eyes to see better.
"Is that a....chicken?"
"COW! Dammit!" Gojyo smacked the boy, "It's as if it's not 52 degrees here!"
"Itai yo!" Goku held his head, "Hey, that wasn't in the script!"
"So was the chicken!"
----------------------------
"Hmp...They don't like me apparently," Sanzo turned away, "Anyhow, I was cursed since the first day of this journey." Anyway, he gave the customary go signal: "Ikuzo."
"Hai!" Hakkai watched as Hakuryu flew to the ground. All four of them stood aside and waited.
To everyone's astonishment, there was a 'bamf!'. Smoke surrounded the Sanzo-ikkou and left one or two of them coughing.
Hakkai was able to wipe the smoke away from his vision. His eyes suddenly enlarged and he let out a startled cry, "Hakuryu!!"
"Oi..." Gojyo walked to a tractor van before them and patted the white tinted vehicle, "Full accommodations!"
"Oi! Sugoi!" Goku ran, "Clearly, we'll go sailing no morrrreeee!"
Tractor Van: ..kyu.kyu?
Sanzo pointed at the van and looked at the director, "Is this the real ending of the story?"
"Erm...Well actually..."
"Iiya!" Hakkai said in panic, "Hakuryu, can you turn back to normal?"
"Oi! What for??" Gojyo demanded, "Just when what we need is here! It's a blessing from Sanzo's gods!"
"Would you shut up with the gods?!" Sanzo started with a shrill voice and a jabbed finger.
"I don't see how you can be a 'sanzo' without them," Gojyo crossed his arms, "Or how you do those 'makai tenjies'..." Gojyo added with a mimick of how the sutras fly.
Sanzo's vein enlarged and his violet eyes had blazed with fury, "All right. You asked for it gokiburi." He revealed his gun.
"Oi!" Gojyo placed his hands on the air.
"Ne! Not when Hakuryu is this big Sanzo!"
"Wahhhhh!" Goku ran away from the set.
Sanzo apparently was not listening. And the next thing everyone heard was a 'click'.
"Shut the camera! This won't make it in the board of censors!"
"TASUKETEEEEE!!!!!!!"
--------------
End
by: ~wrinkle~
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------
Nota bene: Na, this is not a 'hidden agenda' to force you into reading my fic however...it would really help if you have read the fic itself ;D After all, that is where these bloopers would come from.
The idea of having 'bloopers' or 'screws up' in fan-fic is not my original idea. Kudos should go to Kat Aclysm, who's a wonderful Final Fantasy VII fan-fic writer. You should find her stories here.
It's an ambitious attempt since the source of the bloopers is already a humor fic in itself. Humoring the humor fic is quite...a silly idea. But do tell me how it is. ;D Thanks to everyone who have commented!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------
There is always a process in fan-fiction making. In contrast to popular belief, it takes days to months to even as years. This is especially true when you are dealing with the Sanzo-ikkou. When a huge chunk of the time is devoted to convincing them to do it.
"How about a plane trip to the west?"
Goku, Gojyo and Hakkai's eyes enlarged, "A Plane trip to the West????"
"Iiya," Sanzo blew a ring of smoke, "It sounds too good."
"Well what if we teach you a new Evil sutra technique?"
"If there would be one, I would be the first to know," Sanzo insisted.
"What if we change your Exorcism gun to the EX007910791AD?"
"...Do you really want to?"
Goku, Gojyo and Hakkai rapidly shook their heads, "IIYA! IIYA!!!!!!"
Well that was eventually settled later.
'Without Hakuryu' is a humor fic about the Sanzo-ikkou being stranded in a desert and must fend with themselves without Hakuryu. It's the same 'baka bouzu'-'ero kappa'-baka saru' and 'maa maa' way, but with a new twist of course.
"WHAT? I get to be hit 50 times??" Goku exclaimed.
"Erm, we'll change that..."
"Shucks, that sounds so much fun..." Gojyo smirked, crossing his arms.
"Well it says here that you get to be hit the same number of times..."
"Oi?? Doushite???"
Sanzo apparently only scanned the script, flipped the thing and confidently concluded, "Who would write such a piece of crap?"
Gee, you just have to mean, don't you?
"You have a problem?"
Erm...Anyway, on to the bloopers...
---------------------------
"And Action!"
Narrator speaks, "...Why then is he feeling that way? If he is used to traveling, from dusk to dawn...Why only now? Why only now does he feel the need to..."
"To piss?" Gojyo asked.
"..."
*Take 2*
Narrator speaks, "Why then is he feeling that way? If he is used to traveling, from dusk to dawn...Why only now? Why only now does he feel the need to..."
"*burp*"
"Oooh, that was a good one," Gojyo remarked.
"Erm, cut?"
Goku sighed, "Haraheta desu...When's our break?"
"Gee, we haven't even really started yet..."
-------------------------
"Action!"
"Hakuryu!" Cho Hakkai stood up immediately, looking frantically around, "HAKURYU!!" He now ran back and forth, still looking for the creature, "Hakuryu?" He ran again near Gojyo now, "Hakuryu!"
Gojyo whispered while still lying on the sandy ground, waiting for his cue, "Oi...Isn't it taking too long for Hakuryu to show up?"
"Hakuryu!"
"...k..k...kyu...u..."
"Agh! Goku! You're sitting on him!"
----------------------------
"And Action!"
"Easy for you to say, Kono Bakabouzu," Gojyo snorted, lagging behind, "For someone who's used to pilgrimages..."
*WHAM!!*
"Oi!!" Gojyo rubbed his head, "That wasn't in the script!"
"It wasn't?"
-------------------------
"Action!"
(Sanzo) "Do you know how your moronic words are driving me insane that if I hear one more...I will ....oh sh*t..."
*Take 2*
"Do you know how your moronic words are driving me insane that if I hear one more...I will prohibit you from even eating Gojyo for the rest of your life!"
"Oi..."
*Take 3*
"Do you know how...crap...why the hell are the lines too long anyway?!"
Oops.
-------------------------
(Another 'long line' syndrome.)
"Action!"
(Goku) "Better than an ero kappa for the rest of your life and flirt on younger women when...anou...what was I saying?"
"CUT!"
*Take 2*
"Better than an ero kappa for the rest of your life and flirt on younger women when you already look like a baka saru!"
"Eh?"
Gojyo clutched on his abdomen laughing.
*Take 3*
"Better than an ero kappa for the rest of your life and flirt on younger women when you already look like a...naa, haraheta desu..."
*Take 500*
"Better than an ero kappa for the rest of your life and flirt on younger women when you already look like a horse!"
"...."
Hakkai whispered, "Psst...Oi...Gojyo..."
"O?" Gojyo lifted his head with eyes half-shut, "Nani? ...Oh yeah...'Teme!'"
"CUT!!!!"
"ERO KAPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!"
----------------------------
"And, action!"
"Ohoho," Hakkai had chuckled with the steaming Sanzo by his side, "I think that was a good joke, do you think so Hakuryu?"
"kyukyukyukyuuu..."
"CUT! Shouldn't that be 'kyukyu'?"
Hakuryu perked up, "Kyu? Kyukyukyukyu!"
"Ne?" Hakkai scratched his head, "Would the readers know what he is saying anyway?"
-------------------------
"All right! Quiet in the set!"
"Wait," Sanzo held his palm up, "I left my gun in the van."
"You don't need that in this scene!
"I don't care. I still left it."
"No one's gonna steal it!"
"I said I'll get it."
"Oh don't be childish..."
*click* "What?"
"Oh there it is ..."
----------------------------
Gojyo only mimicked Sanzo's dialogue. "Tsk, I could be sleeping the afternoon with some women."
"I could be eating in the temple..." Goku chorused.
"I could be getting a shower," Sanzo muttered to himself.
"Oooh," Gojyo grinned, "bouzu's feeling hot..."
"Urusei."
-------------------------------
"Action!"
"Is that...a cart?" Gojyo squinted his eyes to see better.
"Is that a bird?"
"CUT!"
"Bird??" Gojyo threw his hands, "Where the hell did that come from??"
"I dunno...Somehow it sounded right..."
*Take 2*
"Is that...a cart?" Gojyo squinted his eyes to see better.
"Is that a...well...cart?"
"CUT!"
*Take 3*
"Is that...a cart?" Gojyo squinted his eyes to see better.
"Is that a....chicken?"
"COW! Dammit!" Gojyo smacked the boy, "It's as if it's not 52 degrees here!"
"Itai yo!" Goku held his head, "Hey, that wasn't in the script!"
"So was the chicken!"
----------------------------
"Hmp...They don't like me apparently," Sanzo turned away, "Anyhow, I was cursed since the first day of this journey." Anyway, he gave the customary go signal: "Ikuzo."
"Hai!" Hakkai watched as Hakuryu flew to the ground. All four of them stood aside and waited.
To everyone's astonishment, there was a 'bamf!'. Smoke surrounded the Sanzo-ikkou and left one or two of them coughing.
Hakkai was able to wipe the smoke away from his vision. His eyes suddenly enlarged and he let out a startled cry, "Hakuryu!!"
"Oi..." Gojyo walked to a tractor van before them and patted the white tinted vehicle, "Full accommodations!"
"Oi! Sugoi!" Goku ran, "Clearly, we'll go sailing no morrrreeee!"
Tractor Van: ..kyu.kyu?
Sanzo pointed at the van and looked at the director, "Is this the real ending of the story?"
"Erm...Well actually..."
"Iiya!" Hakkai said in panic, "Hakuryu, can you turn back to normal?"
"Oi! What for??" Gojyo demanded, "Just when what we need is here! It's a blessing from Sanzo's gods!"
"Would you shut up with the gods?!" Sanzo started with a shrill voice and a jabbed finger.
"I don't see how you can be a 'sanzo' without them," Gojyo crossed his arms, "Or how you do those 'makai tenjies'..." Gojyo added with a mimick of how the sutras fly.
Sanzo's vein enlarged and his violet eyes had blazed with fury, "All right. You asked for it gokiburi." He revealed his gun.
"Oi!" Gojyo placed his hands on the air.
"Ne! Not when Hakuryu is this big Sanzo!"
"Wahhhhh!" Goku ran away from the set.
Sanzo apparently was not listening. And the next thing everyone heard was a 'click'.
"Shut the camera! This won't make it in the board of censors!"
"TASUKETEEEEE!!!!!!!"
--------------
End