"A New Leaf"
Disclaimer: See chapter 1
You would think once a couple becomes sexually active that they kept at it. Not Zane and I. I knew part of him wanted to, just like part of me did but we didn't want to do something stupid, like get me pregnant. Although... Zack's pills he gave me were birth control, I just chose not to share that with Zane.
Any plan that Zack had to "fix me" by reuniting me with Zane was a worthless idea. My methodology was addictive. Zane became like me instead of me like him. We were both teenage punks with bad attitudes that didn't give a shit.
We left Detroit, if that's even where we were. I didn't care to ask. Zane and I took turns driving a stolen truck until we hit an ocean. Ok, not ocean, but the Gulf of Mexico. We ended up in New Orleans, the Big Easy, a great place for two kids who don't care about anything but each other.
Winter in New Orleans was nice, no snow. Spring brought rain, Mardi Gras, floods, and my second heat phase came in late spring. Zane had sensed it, or smelt it, coming for a week. He stocked the house like a bomb shelter. He had enough food and supplies to last three to seven days on lenient rations.
I thought it was weird how during heat, he couldn't keep his hands off of me but after it was back to siblings. It was like he was walking some thin moral line and if he stepped over he was supposed to run right back. I didn't force anything even though I wanted more.
Spring melted away and summer brought heat. Wet heat. Humidity at 200%.
Gritty. I liked it. Summer also brought a familiar face.
I was walking down Bourbon Street to go to the grocery store when I bumped into an Asian girl. Not just an Asian girl, but a cheery one. A frightfully cheery one. She apologized for bumping into me and then grabbed my arm, "Jondy. Is that you?"
"Yeah... Brin?"
She smiled, part of me wanted to smack that smile off her face but I was happy to see her. She suddenly threw her arms around me in a tight hug. I wanted to wiggle away from it. But I awkwardly returned the hug.
She grabbed my hand and led me to a diner. "Tell me everything." She said.
"Who did you get out with?" I asked.
"I got out with Cade." She said.
"Hm. that doesn't work out."
"What doesn't?"
"Zack said twelve of us got out. Cade makes thirteen."
Brin was excited. "You know everyone who made it? Oh tell me!"
"Well, it's me, Zane, Zack, Tinga, Max, You, Cade, Ben, Tosh, Van, Grix, Krit, and Syl."
Brin counted them in her head, "Wow, that's not a lot of us."
"I know. Did you see anyone who didn't make it?"
Brin shook her head, "I just ran. Cade struggled to keep up. He would know."
"Where's Cade?"
"We got separated by CPS. He's living in Kentwood, I think."
"Sorry." I said softly.
Brin ordered us some sandwiches and pop at ungodly high prices. I should have told her that we could go somewhere else and get it cheaper but she had the money to pay. I cringed inwardly, another Tinga.
She looked at me, concern on her face, "Were your homes bad?"
I shrugged, "Not really."
"Then what's with the look?"
"What look? This is me." I retorted.
"I don't think so. Look at yourself Jon, really look."
I looked up and saw my reflection. My hair came down to my budding breasts. I was wearing dirty black clothes that were way too big. My hair was ratty and I had blue and black streaks of dye in it. It didn't look so golden anymore. My sapphire eyes were blanketed under a layer of black eye make up. I had a barbell through my eye brow and a ring in my nose, not to mention rings all up my ears. I didn't recognize myself. I didn't like it. I got up suddenly and ran to the bathroom. Brin followed after. I flooded the sink as I washed off the dark make up.
Brin stood next to the sink and she watched me take out my facial piercings and most of the ones in my ears. I dropped them down the drain.
I still looked awful but most of it was more internal now. Brin smiled at me. "Better."
I nodded and smiled. I haven't smiled really in years. Brin put her arm around me, "Let's go get you some new clothes."
So we went shopping. Stores and names I'd never have looked at before. Gap, Docker's, Levi, Banana Republic, and so on. Then we went to a barber shop.
By the time I got back to the place where Zane and I lived, I was a whole different girl. My hair was golden again, it came down just a little past my shoulders. I was dressed in calm colors, beige and light blue.
Zane came home and hour later. He was in torn and tattered denim and black. His hair was partially in ratty braids that poked straight up and mixed with his hair that stood up. His early hints at facial hair even looked dirty. His lip stud and eyebrow ring reflected light as he moved in. "Yo, Jon I'm. holy shit."
I sat there in a khaki skirt and a light blue open collar skirt. "Hi Zane."
"What's up with that?" He asked.
"I'm tired of looking dirty. Of being like that. I'm tired of not caring."
He looked at me and didn't speak for a bit. A smile spread across his face, "So can I get that dog now?" I didn't smile and his faded instantly. "What is it Jondy?"
"I want to get in touch with Zack and take a command position with the unit. Help him round everyone up."
"He's found everyone." Zane said. "I know he has."
"I just talked with him an hour ago. He didn't know that Brin and Cade were here, he lost Grix, and he has yet to find Ben, Tosh, and Max."
Zane looked at me like I had just shot him. "You called him?"
"I need to be active, Zane. I need to care."
He nodded, angry. Furious. "If you have to be a soldier than go be one. Just don't come back. I hate you when you have to be a solider and I don't want to know you like that."
I wasn't prepared for that. I grit my teeth and a tear rolled down my cheek, "Fine."
"And I'll get a dog, I know you hate dogs so I know you won't come around."
I nodded, "Fine. I'm gonna go pack, and if you don't want Zack to move you, I'd suggest you beat him out of town."
"I. Don't. Care." Zane retorted. He leaned back in the couch and crossed his arms.
I packed and met Zack down the street.
"Where's Zane?"
"We fought and I left. I don't know where he went." I lied.
Zack put his hand on my shoulder, "You're making the right decision. I'm glad Zane helped you."
"Zane? No. Brin. Zane doesn't care."
Zack was perplexed by this but he didn't argue.
We drove to Brin's and picked her up and then drove to Kentwood and got Cade. The four of us drove to Chicago and Zack split them up there.
I watched them hug and part ways. Zack turned to me. "Where do you want to start looking?"
"I'll go West. You go East?" I suggested.
He nodded, "Call me with any information."
I nodded. I saluted him in my head. I was a soldier again. I had a better mission. Fitting in was shit. Caring but not caring was the biggest waste of two years ever. I was gonna find Max before Zack and I would run away with her and it would be all good and she'd help me forget how much Zane hurt me. He promised he'd never hurt me.
Disclaimer: See chapter 1
You would think once a couple becomes sexually active that they kept at it. Not Zane and I. I knew part of him wanted to, just like part of me did but we didn't want to do something stupid, like get me pregnant. Although... Zack's pills he gave me were birth control, I just chose not to share that with Zane.
Any plan that Zack had to "fix me" by reuniting me with Zane was a worthless idea. My methodology was addictive. Zane became like me instead of me like him. We were both teenage punks with bad attitudes that didn't give a shit.
We left Detroit, if that's even where we were. I didn't care to ask. Zane and I took turns driving a stolen truck until we hit an ocean. Ok, not ocean, but the Gulf of Mexico. We ended up in New Orleans, the Big Easy, a great place for two kids who don't care about anything but each other.
Winter in New Orleans was nice, no snow. Spring brought rain, Mardi Gras, floods, and my second heat phase came in late spring. Zane had sensed it, or smelt it, coming for a week. He stocked the house like a bomb shelter. He had enough food and supplies to last three to seven days on lenient rations.
I thought it was weird how during heat, he couldn't keep his hands off of me but after it was back to siblings. It was like he was walking some thin moral line and if he stepped over he was supposed to run right back. I didn't force anything even though I wanted more.
Spring melted away and summer brought heat. Wet heat. Humidity at 200%.
Gritty. I liked it. Summer also brought a familiar face.
I was walking down Bourbon Street to go to the grocery store when I bumped into an Asian girl. Not just an Asian girl, but a cheery one. A frightfully cheery one. She apologized for bumping into me and then grabbed my arm, "Jondy. Is that you?"
"Yeah... Brin?"
She smiled, part of me wanted to smack that smile off her face but I was happy to see her. She suddenly threw her arms around me in a tight hug. I wanted to wiggle away from it. But I awkwardly returned the hug.
She grabbed my hand and led me to a diner. "Tell me everything." She said.
"Who did you get out with?" I asked.
"I got out with Cade." She said.
"Hm. that doesn't work out."
"What doesn't?"
"Zack said twelve of us got out. Cade makes thirteen."
Brin was excited. "You know everyone who made it? Oh tell me!"
"Well, it's me, Zane, Zack, Tinga, Max, You, Cade, Ben, Tosh, Van, Grix, Krit, and Syl."
Brin counted them in her head, "Wow, that's not a lot of us."
"I know. Did you see anyone who didn't make it?"
Brin shook her head, "I just ran. Cade struggled to keep up. He would know."
"Where's Cade?"
"We got separated by CPS. He's living in Kentwood, I think."
"Sorry." I said softly.
Brin ordered us some sandwiches and pop at ungodly high prices. I should have told her that we could go somewhere else and get it cheaper but she had the money to pay. I cringed inwardly, another Tinga.
She looked at me, concern on her face, "Were your homes bad?"
I shrugged, "Not really."
"Then what's with the look?"
"What look? This is me." I retorted.
"I don't think so. Look at yourself Jon, really look."
I looked up and saw my reflection. My hair came down to my budding breasts. I was wearing dirty black clothes that were way too big. My hair was ratty and I had blue and black streaks of dye in it. It didn't look so golden anymore. My sapphire eyes were blanketed under a layer of black eye make up. I had a barbell through my eye brow and a ring in my nose, not to mention rings all up my ears. I didn't recognize myself. I didn't like it. I got up suddenly and ran to the bathroom. Brin followed after. I flooded the sink as I washed off the dark make up.
Brin stood next to the sink and she watched me take out my facial piercings and most of the ones in my ears. I dropped them down the drain.
I still looked awful but most of it was more internal now. Brin smiled at me. "Better."
I nodded and smiled. I haven't smiled really in years. Brin put her arm around me, "Let's go get you some new clothes."
So we went shopping. Stores and names I'd never have looked at before. Gap, Docker's, Levi, Banana Republic, and so on. Then we went to a barber shop.
By the time I got back to the place where Zane and I lived, I was a whole different girl. My hair was golden again, it came down just a little past my shoulders. I was dressed in calm colors, beige and light blue.
Zane came home and hour later. He was in torn and tattered denim and black. His hair was partially in ratty braids that poked straight up and mixed with his hair that stood up. His early hints at facial hair even looked dirty. His lip stud and eyebrow ring reflected light as he moved in. "Yo, Jon I'm. holy shit."
I sat there in a khaki skirt and a light blue open collar skirt. "Hi Zane."
"What's up with that?" He asked.
"I'm tired of looking dirty. Of being like that. I'm tired of not caring."
He looked at me and didn't speak for a bit. A smile spread across his face, "So can I get that dog now?" I didn't smile and his faded instantly. "What is it Jondy?"
"I want to get in touch with Zack and take a command position with the unit. Help him round everyone up."
"He's found everyone." Zane said. "I know he has."
"I just talked with him an hour ago. He didn't know that Brin and Cade were here, he lost Grix, and he has yet to find Ben, Tosh, and Max."
Zane looked at me like I had just shot him. "You called him?"
"I need to be active, Zane. I need to care."
He nodded, angry. Furious. "If you have to be a soldier than go be one. Just don't come back. I hate you when you have to be a solider and I don't want to know you like that."
I wasn't prepared for that. I grit my teeth and a tear rolled down my cheek, "Fine."
"And I'll get a dog, I know you hate dogs so I know you won't come around."
I nodded, "Fine. I'm gonna go pack, and if you don't want Zack to move you, I'd suggest you beat him out of town."
"I. Don't. Care." Zane retorted. He leaned back in the couch and crossed his arms.
I packed and met Zack down the street.
"Where's Zane?"
"We fought and I left. I don't know where he went." I lied.
Zack put his hand on my shoulder, "You're making the right decision. I'm glad Zane helped you."
"Zane? No. Brin. Zane doesn't care."
Zack was perplexed by this but he didn't argue.
We drove to Brin's and picked her up and then drove to Kentwood and got Cade. The four of us drove to Chicago and Zack split them up there.
I watched them hug and part ways. Zack turned to me. "Where do you want to start looking?"
"I'll go West. You go East?" I suggested.
He nodded, "Call me with any information."
I nodded. I saluted him in my head. I was a soldier again. I had a better mission. Fitting in was shit. Caring but not caring was the biggest waste of two years ever. I was gonna find Max before Zack and I would run away with her and it would be all good and she'd help me forget how much Zane hurt me. He promised he'd never hurt me.