Dad is coming tomorrow. He will be here. Emily will find out the truth
about her grandmother. The horrible truth that scars my life. The truth
that won't allow me to meet Michael's mother without breaking down.
My mother was a murderer. My mother was KGB. My father and I were an assignment. My existence was part of a scheme to put a mole in the CIA. Her grandfather died because her grandmother killed him.
And she thought we were normal civilians.
We're about as far as you can get from normal. Countless people died because of the man I worked for. A man who was executed a year ago. A man who killed his wife to gain rank.
Arvin Sloane. I've tried not to think about him. I have trouble sometimes. Emily is named after my surrogate mother, Emily Sloane. She was married to the slime ball. I could never understand what could have made their romance spark. But it doesn't matter anymore. Both of them are dead.
I try not to think about it.
The wind is warm out on the balcony. Michael is asleep inside. I never understand how he can sleep on command. Emily is messing with her guitar. I think she's writing a song, but I can never be sure. Today has been mentally exhausting. All the bad memories have come back. It's hard to recall the good ones. All I know is that they were few and far between. I need to remember something good, but the more I dig for the good, the bad rises.
Emily is approaching me. I can tell by the way she walks. Almost on the balls of her feet. Bouncy.
She parts the curtains that separate the room from the outside air. She looks at me, slightly confused. "Mom, I need to ask you a question. How did you know that you and dad were going to have a happy marriage? You were forced into it. Spur of the moment. How did you know it would work?"
At last. A good memory. At times sad, but mostly good. It counts.
*******FLASHBACK*******
SD-6 is gone. Vaughn...no, wait...Michael and I are secretly in love. Secretly. A word that I had hoped I would never use again. And yet it's still a secret. It's been a secret for almost two months and it's driving me crazy. I love him with all of my being. And I have another secret. One that I won't be able to hide for much longer.
I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant and I still can't look the father of my child in the eye. We can still be killed. I tell myself that SD-6 is gone, and it can't be much longer until the Alliance crumbles too.
Perhaps Michael and I were a bit rash. We rushed into everything. Our child was conceived the night SD-6 was infiltrated. We didn't consider that we would still have to hide. If we had known, we would have never...
I love him. I've known that for a long time. I knew that he felt the same way, but we both knew it wasn't worth the risk. I don't regret what we did. It was the most fulfilling night of my life. But I can't do this alone. I can't be a single mother in grad school. I refuse to.
My cell phone's ringing. I have to tell him. Today.
"Hello?"
"Meeting. Use secret entry. Now."
A meeting with Devlin? Something must be very wrong.
I jog around the buildings, hiding myself in the shadows. There's no one following me so I stoop down by a dumpster. A small door opens and I slide myself through it. They really need to think of new secret entries. This one smells like rotten banana peels. I have to crawl for five minutes before I get to actual entrance. Vaughn is waiting for me. He doesn't look happy.
"What's the matter?" I ask as I brush the dirt off my sweats. He doesn't answer. Something is defiantly wrong.
He won't talk as we make our way to the meeting room. I can't tell if it's because he can't say it, or he's afraid to. Either way, it's not good.
We sit down next to each other. Devlin walks in right after us. He doesn't look happy either.
"Agent Bristow, I have some bad news. As you know, the CIA thought that once SD-6 was infiltrated, the Alliance would fall with it. We were wrong. The Alliance will survive. And they have discovered you as the one who brought down SD-6. We have two choices. Witness Protection or Confinement."
I can control my feelings very well. It's become a habit to mask my face. I can hold a poker face when I get told shocking news.
I thought I could hold back emotion here, but I can feel the tears sliding down my cheeks. My baby will grow up in a foreign place. It will not know it's father or grandfather. If I can't live as a single mother grad student, there is no way I can live in a foreign place and raise a child. By myself. With no friends. I know why Vaughn is distraught. He truly loves me.
I can't do this. I can't leave without him. I have to tell him the truth. Even if Devlin is in the room.
Vaughn and Devlin have noticed my tears. They know I have to say something.
"I understand why I have to go into the Witness Protection Program. I understand and I'm grateful that you caught the intel before it was too late. But there's something I haven't told anyone yet."
Both men look at me questioningly.
"I'm pregnant, and I refuse to get on any plane without the father of my child sitting next to me." The tears are coming faster now. My vision is blurred. Blurred enough so that I can't see either man's reaction. A comforting hand envelops my own. A tissue is pressed into the other. I wipe my eyes and look at Vaughn.
"I should have told you before, but I was scared. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how you would react."
"How long have you known?"
"Two weeks."
"You should have told me the moment you found out! Sydney, you shouldn't have carried this around by yourself."
"I know."
I can see Devlin's glare out of the corner of my eye. I have to address him before we continue our conversation any further.
"I won't go unless Agent Vaughn comes with me. Besides, the Alliance will be looking for someone single. I will have a family." Which is true. We will all be more protected.
"I should have kept Lambert as your handler. Then you wouldn't be in this mess." True. I would be dead. "Agent Vaughn? As much as I don't like it, it seems I don't have any choice. Do you want to go with her?"
Vaughn's reply is immediate. "Yes sir."
He starts walking towards the exit. "Fine. I'll pull up the papers. You can keep your name. We'll erase all your files and make up new ones. I'll send the WPP worker in here to detail your future." He pauses at the door. "Congratulations."
I'm marrying Michael Vaughn. I'm having his child. Maybe I can do this after all.
We decide to move to a small suburb in the middle of Canada. We're going to be language teachers at the high school. I told the principle what languages I spoke and he got so excited he started shouting in French. I'm going to teach Chinese, Japanese, and Taiwanese. Michael is going to teach French. I let him have the easy one. We are going to live a life free of the Alliance and free of any espionage. Our child will grow up with loving parents.
We can make it through this. I can tell by the way he kisses me. Our love can last.
We will be happy.
********END FLASHBACK*********
"Mom?"
Emily's voice snaps me back to the present.
"Mom, you just had the dreamiest look on your face. How did you know Dad was the one?"
"Emily, our love is different from anyone else's. It has never been questioned. Our love is exactly what it is. Love. I love him with all of my heart. He has a part of me that I can never even think of giving to someone else. I was afraid of living alone with a child. He didn't even hesitate when he was asked if he wanted to go with me. We both would die for each other. Your dad is my guardian angel." As I speak, I feel strong arms wrap around my waist. I lean into my husband, telling our daughter how much I love him.
She looks at us, almost in awe. "You've had to overcome a myriad of obstacles. Was I one of them? Please tell me the truth."
Michael speaks for me. "You were what brought us together. We would have never been able to come together if your mother wasn't pregnant. The director would have denied our request and I would have never seen her again. You saved us."
Her eyes are filled now. She nods, comprehending her role in our lives. "I'm glad. I could have never asked for a better life. I love you both, and I want to thank you for telling me the truth about everything."
Not everything. Tomorrow that statement will be true, but not tonight.
She heads inside and gets into bed. Michael and I stay out on the balcony, wrapped in each other's arms. I need to ask him something.
"Remember the day we found out the Alliance was going to live?"
"Yes." I can feel his chest move when he speaks.
"Why didn't you hesitate when he asked you to give up your life for me?" He shifts out my arms and pulls my face close to his.
"I love you, I always have. Even the day I saw you with that outrageously red hair. There was no question in my mind. I would give my life you any day."
I entangle myself in his arms again. We stand there for a long time. When we finally go to bed, we don't separate. I feel safe when I'm in his arms.
Safe is a good place to be.
AN: ::Throws fluff in the air:: ah! Fluff! Lots and lots of fluff! I was in a fluffy mood. There hasn't been a lot. This is my chapter of fluff. Tell me if you want more! Fluff is the easiest for me to write, but I can write angst too. Tell me people! Review!
My mother was a murderer. My mother was KGB. My father and I were an assignment. My existence was part of a scheme to put a mole in the CIA. Her grandfather died because her grandmother killed him.
And she thought we were normal civilians.
We're about as far as you can get from normal. Countless people died because of the man I worked for. A man who was executed a year ago. A man who killed his wife to gain rank.
Arvin Sloane. I've tried not to think about him. I have trouble sometimes. Emily is named after my surrogate mother, Emily Sloane. She was married to the slime ball. I could never understand what could have made their romance spark. But it doesn't matter anymore. Both of them are dead.
I try not to think about it.
The wind is warm out on the balcony. Michael is asleep inside. I never understand how he can sleep on command. Emily is messing with her guitar. I think she's writing a song, but I can never be sure. Today has been mentally exhausting. All the bad memories have come back. It's hard to recall the good ones. All I know is that they were few and far between. I need to remember something good, but the more I dig for the good, the bad rises.
Emily is approaching me. I can tell by the way she walks. Almost on the balls of her feet. Bouncy.
She parts the curtains that separate the room from the outside air. She looks at me, slightly confused. "Mom, I need to ask you a question. How did you know that you and dad were going to have a happy marriage? You were forced into it. Spur of the moment. How did you know it would work?"
At last. A good memory. At times sad, but mostly good. It counts.
*******FLASHBACK*******
SD-6 is gone. Vaughn...no, wait...Michael and I are secretly in love. Secretly. A word that I had hoped I would never use again. And yet it's still a secret. It's been a secret for almost two months and it's driving me crazy. I love him with all of my being. And I have another secret. One that I won't be able to hide for much longer.
I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant and I still can't look the father of my child in the eye. We can still be killed. I tell myself that SD-6 is gone, and it can't be much longer until the Alliance crumbles too.
Perhaps Michael and I were a bit rash. We rushed into everything. Our child was conceived the night SD-6 was infiltrated. We didn't consider that we would still have to hide. If we had known, we would have never...
I love him. I've known that for a long time. I knew that he felt the same way, but we both knew it wasn't worth the risk. I don't regret what we did. It was the most fulfilling night of my life. But I can't do this alone. I can't be a single mother in grad school. I refuse to.
My cell phone's ringing. I have to tell him. Today.
"Hello?"
"Meeting. Use secret entry. Now."
A meeting with Devlin? Something must be very wrong.
I jog around the buildings, hiding myself in the shadows. There's no one following me so I stoop down by a dumpster. A small door opens and I slide myself through it. They really need to think of new secret entries. This one smells like rotten banana peels. I have to crawl for five minutes before I get to actual entrance. Vaughn is waiting for me. He doesn't look happy.
"What's the matter?" I ask as I brush the dirt off my sweats. He doesn't answer. Something is defiantly wrong.
He won't talk as we make our way to the meeting room. I can't tell if it's because he can't say it, or he's afraid to. Either way, it's not good.
We sit down next to each other. Devlin walks in right after us. He doesn't look happy either.
"Agent Bristow, I have some bad news. As you know, the CIA thought that once SD-6 was infiltrated, the Alliance would fall with it. We were wrong. The Alliance will survive. And they have discovered you as the one who brought down SD-6. We have two choices. Witness Protection or Confinement."
I can control my feelings very well. It's become a habit to mask my face. I can hold a poker face when I get told shocking news.
I thought I could hold back emotion here, but I can feel the tears sliding down my cheeks. My baby will grow up in a foreign place. It will not know it's father or grandfather. If I can't live as a single mother grad student, there is no way I can live in a foreign place and raise a child. By myself. With no friends. I know why Vaughn is distraught. He truly loves me.
I can't do this. I can't leave without him. I have to tell him the truth. Even if Devlin is in the room.
Vaughn and Devlin have noticed my tears. They know I have to say something.
"I understand why I have to go into the Witness Protection Program. I understand and I'm grateful that you caught the intel before it was too late. But there's something I haven't told anyone yet."
Both men look at me questioningly.
"I'm pregnant, and I refuse to get on any plane without the father of my child sitting next to me." The tears are coming faster now. My vision is blurred. Blurred enough so that I can't see either man's reaction. A comforting hand envelops my own. A tissue is pressed into the other. I wipe my eyes and look at Vaughn.
"I should have told you before, but I was scared. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how you would react."
"How long have you known?"
"Two weeks."
"You should have told me the moment you found out! Sydney, you shouldn't have carried this around by yourself."
"I know."
I can see Devlin's glare out of the corner of my eye. I have to address him before we continue our conversation any further.
"I won't go unless Agent Vaughn comes with me. Besides, the Alliance will be looking for someone single. I will have a family." Which is true. We will all be more protected.
"I should have kept Lambert as your handler. Then you wouldn't be in this mess." True. I would be dead. "Agent Vaughn? As much as I don't like it, it seems I don't have any choice. Do you want to go with her?"
Vaughn's reply is immediate. "Yes sir."
He starts walking towards the exit. "Fine. I'll pull up the papers. You can keep your name. We'll erase all your files and make up new ones. I'll send the WPP worker in here to detail your future." He pauses at the door. "Congratulations."
I'm marrying Michael Vaughn. I'm having his child. Maybe I can do this after all.
We decide to move to a small suburb in the middle of Canada. We're going to be language teachers at the high school. I told the principle what languages I spoke and he got so excited he started shouting in French. I'm going to teach Chinese, Japanese, and Taiwanese. Michael is going to teach French. I let him have the easy one. We are going to live a life free of the Alliance and free of any espionage. Our child will grow up with loving parents.
We can make it through this. I can tell by the way he kisses me. Our love can last.
We will be happy.
********END FLASHBACK*********
"Mom?"
Emily's voice snaps me back to the present.
"Mom, you just had the dreamiest look on your face. How did you know Dad was the one?"
"Emily, our love is different from anyone else's. It has never been questioned. Our love is exactly what it is. Love. I love him with all of my heart. He has a part of me that I can never even think of giving to someone else. I was afraid of living alone with a child. He didn't even hesitate when he was asked if he wanted to go with me. We both would die for each other. Your dad is my guardian angel." As I speak, I feel strong arms wrap around my waist. I lean into my husband, telling our daughter how much I love him.
She looks at us, almost in awe. "You've had to overcome a myriad of obstacles. Was I one of them? Please tell me the truth."
Michael speaks for me. "You were what brought us together. We would have never been able to come together if your mother wasn't pregnant. The director would have denied our request and I would have never seen her again. You saved us."
Her eyes are filled now. She nods, comprehending her role in our lives. "I'm glad. I could have never asked for a better life. I love you both, and I want to thank you for telling me the truth about everything."
Not everything. Tomorrow that statement will be true, but not tonight.
She heads inside and gets into bed. Michael and I stay out on the balcony, wrapped in each other's arms. I need to ask him something.
"Remember the day we found out the Alliance was going to live?"
"Yes." I can feel his chest move when he speaks.
"Why didn't you hesitate when he asked you to give up your life for me?" He shifts out my arms and pulls my face close to his.
"I love you, I always have. Even the day I saw you with that outrageously red hair. There was no question in my mind. I would give my life you any day."
I entangle myself in his arms again. We stand there for a long time. When we finally go to bed, we don't separate. I feel safe when I'm in his arms.
Safe is a good place to be.
AN: ::Throws fluff in the air:: ah! Fluff! Lots and lots of fluff! I was in a fluffy mood. There hasn't been a lot. This is my chapter of fluff. Tell me if you want more! Fluff is the easiest for me to write, but I can write angst too. Tell me people! Review!