A/N By popular demand option one wins out! I will probably put the pig
eating the cell phone in a later chapter. Right now this story has sort of
lost its sense of direction for me so I may end it soon and start another
one. For my fans who keep asking me to update my other fic Ring Dong I
don't have enough time to work on two fics at once. I have rewritten the
first chapter and I will post that when I am done beeper wars.
Max turned and found herself faced with an entire army of squirrels. The squirrels began inching forward.
"Alec?" Max asked. " Do you have a plan?"
"Nope." Alec replied. They put their backs to each other and began to circle desperately. The squirrels formed a ring around them and began to press inwards. Max lashed out and the first squirrels went flying. Then Alec did the same. Wave after wave of squirrels assaulted them but Max and Alec held their ground. The carnage around them grew. Still none of the squirrels could gain purchase. It was like Max and Alec were untouchable while they fought together. Then Max bumped into Alec and there was a blinding flash. When they could see again the entire squirrel army was bowing to them.
Then one of the squirrels came forward.
"I am Hekeziah. Leader of the Squeak nation. My people bow to you."
Max and Alec looked at each other in shock.
"Only the gods could fight as you have done." Hekeziah said reverently.
"Look." Alec said matter of factly. " I may look like a god and now that you mention it I have had comments…"
"We were made in a lab to fight like that. We are NOT gods." Max cut him off.
A wave of chittery laughter rolled through the squirrel army.
"The gods test our loyalty." Hekeziah smiled. "We are not fooled. We live only to serve you."
"Wait a second. Aren't you supposed to be working for the mayor of Seattle?" Alec asked.
"That was before the gods arrived. Besides the mayor was a man of limited imagination we would have had to eliminate him soon."
"How many times do we have to tell you that we aren't gods!" Max said.
"Do not worry master the Squeaks are loyal to the grave. I have already sent scouts out to find out how secure our position is."
"Thank you Hekeziah." Alec said hesitantly.
"The SQ must get out of sight as soon as possible sir. You will recieve regular updates and there will be squirrels guarding you at all times." With that the army vanished from view.
*Something must be really wrong with the wiring in the camera…or in my head. * Logan thought as he watched Alec and Max conversing with a squirrel. He stroked his beard and watched some squirrels frolicking on the power line outside his window. He glanced back to the computer screen. Max and Alec were alone and conversing freely. He rubbed his eyes and polished his glasses. The powerline lay empty and gently swooshing in the breeze. Logan looked back at the computer screen. No squirrels. Logan shook his head and seriously considered visiting a shrink. Then Alec leaned down to whisper something in Max's ear and Logan filled with rage. He jumped in his car and headed for Joshua's house.
The door was unlocked and Logan entered without knocking. He figured that the transgenics did it enough to him. Maybe he should raid the fridge too. He padded to the refrigerator and opened it up. There was some left over mac and cheese, half a tuna fish sandwich and a perfect piece of apple pie. Logan grabbed the macaroni but it was a bit too crunchy. He put it back half eaten. He pulled out the tuna fish sandwich and took a bite. He had to act fast to hold down his gag reflex. The sandwich had more Mayo than tuna. He threw it back into the fridge. Then he pulled out the apple pie. He tasted it tentatively. *Perfect* he thought and ate the whole thing.
Logan sat down at the kitchen table and waited fingers drumming impatiently on the cracking linoleum. After a while he put his feet up and reclined backwards. Logan plummeted backwards and crashed into the floor.
He decided that maybe he had better move into the living room. Logan sat down on the couch but the cushions were awkward and he couldn't seem to make them comfortable. Then he saw Alec's chair. It looked so comfortable with squishy cushions and a perfect TV angle. Logan ran and jumped into it. To his horror the cushion of the seat cracked and fell to the floor. When the dust cleared Alec's chair lay in ruins.
Logan didn't feel bad though. After all Alec had stole his girl and broken many expensive art pieces.
Maybe he should catch up on his sleep Logan thought. He wasn't spying at the moment anyways. Logan made his way to the bedroom where Max slept when she stayed over. He was about to get into her bed when a thought occurred to him. If there was any of Max's liberated cellular material in her bed there was a possibilty that he could get infected.
He walked to Joshua's door but immediately ruled that out, as he was highly allergic to dogs. Actually he was already beginning to get a bit stuffy. That left only one option.
Logan stared at Alec's huge bed. Then he crawled under the feather duvet and warm as a button he fell fast asleep.
"Being a god is tough work." Alec said. "In fact I think that I am going to eat my apple pie, sit in front of the TV for several hours of debilitating entertainment and then I think I'll have a nap."
"Oh you poor baby." Max said sarcastically.
They could smell something was wrong the second they entered Joshua's. The regular smell of turpentine was overpowered by the smell of someone who had not showered in many days. They entered the kitchen to find Joshua staring in the fridge.
"Hey Josh what's the matter?" Max asked.
"Joshua come upstairs after painting and somebody's been eating my Mac and Cheese."
"Hey! Someone's been eating my tuna sandwich." Max said.
"NO!!!!!!" Alec said rushing to the refrigerator. "Please no." He said as he looked vainly in the fridge for his pie. Then he saw the crumbly plate. "Someone." He said very quietly. " Has been eating my pie and they ate it all up."
Joshua noticed the capsized chair.
"Someone's been sitting in my chair." Joshua said confused.
"This is a VERY sick joke! I'm going to watch TV and calm down." Alec said seething.
"I get the flipper." Max said as she raced into the living room and flopped down on the couch. The smell was stronger here.
"Hey someone's been sitting on my couch and they screwed all the cushions up." Max said starting to get pissed off.
"Well at least they didn't eat your pie." Alec said bitterly. Then he turned to look at his chair. He let out a shriek.
"Ok! Who the hell broke my chair?"
"Alec it's not that bad…"
"Not that bad!!? Logan's immune to electrical shocks, I'm a squirrel god, the house smells like shit, someone ate my pie and my favourite chair is broken. You're right Max it's not that bad it's a nightmare. In fact maybe if I go to bed I can wake up."
Max and Joshua looked at each other and both ran to their rooms to see if someone was sleeping in their beds. They both heaved a sigh of relief as they discovered empty, undisturbed beds. Then they heard it.
"What the HELL do you think you are doing in my bed?"
Max turned and found herself faced with an entire army of squirrels. The squirrels began inching forward.
"Alec?" Max asked. " Do you have a plan?"
"Nope." Alec replied. They put their backs to each other and began to circle desperately. The squirrels formed a ring around them and began to press inwards. Max lashed out and the first squirrels went flying. Then Alec did the same. Wave after wave of squirrels assaulted them but Max and Alec held their ground. The carnage around them grew. Still none of the squirrels could gain purchase. It was like Max and Alec were untouchable while they fought together. Then Max bumped into Alec and there was a blinding flash. When they could see again the entire squirrel army was bowing to them.
Then one of the squirrels came forward.
"I am Hekeziah. Leader of the Squeak nation. My people bow to you."
Max and Alec looked at each other in shock.
"Only the gods could fight as you have done." Hekeziah said reverently.
"Look." Alec said matter of factly. " I may look like a god and now that you mention it I have had comments…"
"We were made in a lab to fight like that. We are NOT gods." Max cut him off.
A wave of chittery laughter rolled through the squirrel army.
"The gods test our loyalty." Hekeziah smiled. "We are not fooled. We live only to serve you."
"Wait a second. Aren't you supposed to be working for the mayor of Seattle?" Alec asked.
"That was before the gods arrived. Besides the mayor was a man of limited imagination we would have had to eliminate him soon."
"How many times do we have to tell you that we aren't gods!" Max said.
"Do not worry master the Squeaks are loyal to the grave. I have already sent scouts out to find out how secure our position is."
"Thank you Hekeziah." Alec said hesitantly.
"The SQ must get out of sight as soon as possible sir. You will recieve regular updates and there will be squirrels guarding you at all times." With that the army vanished from view.
*Something must be really wrong with the wiring in the camera…or in my head. * Logan thought as he watched Alec and Max conversing with a squirrel. He stroked his beard and watched some squirrels frolicking on the power line outside his window. He glanced back to the computer screen. Max and Alec were alone and conversing freely. He rubbed his eyes and polished his glasses. The powerline lay empty and gently swooshing in the breeze. Logan looked back at the computer screen. No squirrels. Logan shook his head and seriously considered visiting a shrink. Then Alec leaned down to whisper something in Max's ear and Logan filled with rage. He jumped in his car and headed for Joshua's house.
The door was unlocked and Logan entered without knocking. He figured that the transgenics did it enough to him. Maybe he should raid the fridge too. He padded to the refrigerator and opened it up. There was some left over mac and cheese, half a tuna fish sandwich and a perfect piece of apple pie. Logan grabbed the macaroni but it was a bit too crunchy. He put it back half eaten. He pulled out the tuna fish sandwich and took a bite. He had to act fast to hold down his gag reflex. The sandwich had more Mayo than tuna. He threw it back into the fridge. Then he pulled out the apple pie. He tasted it tentatively. *Perfect* he thought and ate the whole thing.
Logan sat down at the kitchen table and waited fingers drumming impatiently on the cracking linoleum. After a while he put his feet up and reclined backwards. Logan plummeted backwards and crashed into the floor.
He decided that maybe he had better move into the living room. Logan sat down on the couch but the cushions were awkward and he couldn't seem to make them comfortable. Then he saw Alec's chair. It looked so comfortable with squishy cushions and a perfect TV angle. Logan ran and jumped into it. To his horror the cushion of the seat cracked and fell to the floor. When the dust cleared Alec's chair lay in ruins.
Logan didn't feel bad though. After all Alec had stole his girl and broken many expensive art pieces.
Maybe he should catch up on his sleep Logan thought. He wasn't spying at the moment anyways. Logan made his way to the bedroom where Max slept when she stayed over. He was about to get into her bed when a thought occurred to him. If there was any of Max's liberated cellular material in her bed there was a possibilty that he could get infected.
He walked to Joshua's door but immediately ruled that out, as he was highly allergic to dogs. Actually he was already beginning to get a bit stuffy. That left only one option.
Logan stared at Alec's huge bed. Then he crawled under the feather duvet and warm as a button he fell fast asleep.
"Being a god is tough work." Alec said. "In fact I think that I am going to eat my apple pie, sit in front of the TV for several hours of debilitating entertainment and then I think I'll have a nap."
"Oh you poor baby." Max said sarcastically.
They could smell something was wrong the second they entered Joshua's. The regular smell of turpentine was overpowered by the smell of someone who had not showered in many days. They entered the kitchen to find Joshua staring in the fridge.
"Hey Josh what's the matter?" Max asked.
"Joshua come upstairs after painting and somebody's been eating my Mac and Cheese."
"Hey! Someone's been eating my tuna sandwich." Max said.
"NO!!!!!!" Alec said rushing to the refrigerator. "Please no." He said as he looked vainly in the fridge for his pie. Then he saw the crumbly plate. "Someone." He said very quietly. " Has been eating my pie and they ate it all up."
Joshua noticed the capsized chair.
"Someone's been sitting in my chair." Joshua said confused.
"This is a VERY sick joke! I'm going to watch TV and calm down." Alec said seething.
"I get the flipper." Max said as she raced into the living room and flopped down on the couch. The smell was stronger here.
"Hey someone's been sitting on my couch and they screwed all the cushions up." Max said starting to get pissed off.
"Well at least they didn't eat your pie." Alec said bitterly. Then he turned to look at his chair. He let out a shriek.
"Ok! Who the hell broke my chair?"
"Alec it's not that bad…"
"Not that bad!!? Logan's immune to electrical shocks, I'm a squirrel god, the house smells like shit, someone ate my pie and my favourite chair is broken. You're right Max it's not that bad it's a nightmare. In fact maybe if I go to bed I can wake up."
Max and Joshua looked at each other and both ran to their rooms to see if someone was sleeping in their beds. They both heaved a sigh of relief as they discovered empty, undisturbed beds. Then they heard it.
"What the HELL do you think you are doing in my bed?"