Author: Dina
Title: The Rose
Chapter: Three
E-mail: nyaliss@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: I still don't own any part of Sailor Moon... Still wishing.
Author's Notes:
Uuuuuuuhhhhhhmmmm... Hi. *listens to silence and echoes* ^^; I have been
gone a while, eh? I apologize for my neglect. I really have no excuse. It's
just that... Life happens. I can't say any more than that.
I would, however, like to take the time to thank all those that have been with
me through the past year. Thank you. You guys, and you know who you are, have
been great. Thank you for the support, for the patience, for the kindness, for
the understanding, for the hope that you've given me. Thank you for never
letting me give up even when it seemed there was nothing left for me to do. You've taught
me lessons these past months that I will carry with me throughout my life. I will
be forever grateful.
WARNING: Let's just say... It's a bit... Melodramatic? I don't know a good word to
describe it... ^^; SHORT CHAPTER. And a reminder, this is an AR fic written for
the sheer enjoyment and satisfaction of the seventeen year old author, though she's not
sure what you'll think of it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
...Closets...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Everyone held their breaths.
Everyone was still as they watched the events below unfold.
Everyone, that is, but for one.
"So now what?" Sol demanded in a voice that seemed overly loud considering
the utter silence that had blanketed his companions.
Everyone winced and, as one, turned to face the King.
"SHHHHHHHHHH!" was the unanimous command.
Sol emitted an 'eeep' but did not listen to Wisdom. "Well? They're just
standing there? Make them do something, Venus!"
The goddess of Love opened her mouth to speak but was forestalled by a
fuming Moon. "If you hadn't decided to mess with Karma, they wouldn't
be just 'standing there' in that closet."
The Sun's eyes darted every which way and he coughed.
"So be quiet and just watch," Eurynome continued, "or go away and leave
Venus in peace."
"But..." the Sun began but trailed off when he saw that Venus, Serenity,
Endymion, Fate and Destiny were watching him and Eury instead of the
couple below.
"They're just as fun to watch, aren't they?" Fate said with a slight giggle.
"Yeah," Endymion agreed with a sidelong glance at the grinning goddess seated
beside his soulmate. "Almost as fun as watching Venus and Mars."
"Why you..." Venus growled ever so slightly before remembering herself. She
lifted her nose up haughtily in the air and sniffed. "It is all his fault."
"That's the gratitude I get for urging one of mine to give your favorite
lovebirds a hand?" a very male, very amused voice murmured behind her.
Mars.
Venus shut her eyes and wished, desperately, for something hard to hit herself
with. Why couldn't they all just leave her in peace to do what she did best?
***
"You."
The word hung breathlessly between them, shutting out all the noise that existed
beyond the small confines of the closet that was, for the moment, their world. Darien's
voice shimmered in the air as real as the masks they wore on their faces and the
unsteady rhythm of their hearts. It covered a multitude of meanings yet said nothing at
all.
Her eyes were so... blue.
A beautiful, warm, achingly familiar shade of blue.
Darien's breath caught and, for endless seconds, ceased.
"Your eyes," he said in a broken whisper as he unconsciously lifted a hand as if to touch
her face, but he stopped short inches from her nose.
Serena merely looked at him in silence, hands at her side, features a neutral mask. There must
be someone out there who was bent on making her crazy. She had fled to the library in hopes
that he would not be able to find her there and had jumped into the most unlikely, or so she
thought, hiding place available only to have him intrude upon her privacy. Her privacy! The
thought and her current situation threatened to rip a very unladylike snort from her lips which
would probably be the prelude to hysterical laughter or tears. She was, very frankly, scared.
She stared at his face, so close... All she had to do was reach out and she would be able to
brush her fingers along the strong line of his jaw; all she had to do was lean forward and she
would be able to press her lips upon his cheek. It would be easy. He would not expect her
to do anything like that.
And she wanted to do it.
She wanted to take that one small step towards him and wrap her arms around her waist,
rest her ear against his chest to listen to his heart. She wanted to tell him how many times
she'd stood outside of his home, looking through the window to watch him. She wanted to
tell him about all her hopes, her dreams, her fears. She wanted to take his hand in hers and
press it against her cheek. She wanted... She wanted to tell him...
I love you.
Her eyes clouded over, darkened, and she bowed her head and allowed her lashes to
sweep down against her cheeks to hide her expression. So what if she did do all those
things? It wouldn't matter. It wouldn't be enough. There were so many things she
wished for, so much longing in her for things that could never be. It hurt to think even
think about them. A hand wrapped around her heart, squeezed. If only wishes really did
come true... If only there really was someone out there who would only give her half the
chance to prove that though she might not be worthy of him, that she loved him as no
one else would. If only that someone would also ask her what she wanted and give it
to her. What would she ask for? What did she want?
She wanted him to reach out and wrap his arms around her to pull her into the cradle of his
embrace, to warm her and hold her. She wanted him to tell her everything would be okay,
that all of her dreams would come true and none of her fears would be able to touch her
because he would be there to keep them away, at bay. She wanted to feel his fingers curl
around her own, wanted to look into those midnight blue eyes of his and see a smile light their
depths. She wanted to be able to give him the Christmas presents she had collected for him
over the years and kept hidden under her bed. She'd always been afraid to leave them with
the roses she left every year, half afraid and half ashamed.
What were her gifts compared to those he received from family and friends? They were
nothing in comparison, but that did not keep her from dreaming. She had often imagined him
opening one of her gifts, of watching a smile start deep within his eyes before they would curve
his lips. Serena, however, had never imagined herself there with him as he opened her gift.
She'd never seen herself in her mind's eye sitting beside him, watching as a smile spread over
his features and him hugging her in thanks. She had accepted long ago that it would never
be and so contented herself with the idea of anonymously sending her presents, but she never did
send them.
She wanted...
Love.
His love.
And the impossibility of it, the hopelessness, hit her like a kick in the gut as she opened her eyes
and lifted her head to gaze at his face half hidden in the shadows of the closet. He would never
know her. He would never love her.
Never.
"Are you okay?" she heard him say, his husky voice colored with concern. "You look pale."
Serena wrapped her arms around herself and met his eyes. He was studying her with his usual
quiet intensity. It was unnerving, it made her nervous, but it was also exhilarating. The color
which he had been so concerned about crept back to her cheeks and a smile, sweet and tender,
found its way to her lips. She remained silent for several more seconds, contenting herself with
gazing at his face. Perhaps she was a foolish girl for giving her heart to someone who would
never return her feelings, for yearning for someone that life had made sure she would never have.
The pain around her heart contracted then eased, leaving her to draw in a shuddering breath that
shook her slim shoulders as if she was in tears. She had accepted that she would one day have to
let him go, that she would one day have to give him up. She had just never known it would be so...
hard. She felt something warm brush her arm and bit back a gasp when she realized he had laid a
hand on her shoulder. Serena turned her head to stare, fascinated, at the back of his hand so very
close to her face.
"Why..." he began softly, his voice low and strained.
She again lifted here eyes to his and his brain stuttered to a stop. Honest to heaven, she was
beautiful; however, for once in his life Darien was not sure if he found her beautiful because of
the obvious perfection of her features. For once, he wondered if he found her beautiful because
she called to a part of him that he had never known existed. That part of him that compelled him
to nestle her in the curve of his arms and never let her go. He had a ridiculous notion to ask her
then and there to marry him. The realization that such thoughts were running through his mind made
his stomach coil into an unpleasant knot that almost sent him into a panic. She brought out feelings
in him he had not known he was capable of and wasn't very sure if he liked very much. She terrified
him, this angelic slip of a girl dressed in white.
"Why...?" she repeated in a hesitant little voice.
"Why do I..." Darien trailed off again.
Know you?
Why do I feel this way?
Why do I have this desperate need to hang on to you and never let go?
"Why?" he repeated, at a loss.
Serena's brows furrowed, bewildered. A memory of Raye and her fear of Darien having some
sort of affliction sparked briefly into her mind and made her wince. Perhaps she had been right
except where Raye was able to baffle her with words, Darien baffled her with his lack thereof.
She wanted to shake him but was saved from actually doing so by the outside world.
The laugh, sickeningly sweet and grating, that had sent Darien diving for cover rang out again,
closer this time, and brought both occupants of the little librarian's closet crashing back to reality.
Serena squeezed herself tighter into the corner she had worked herself into and tore her gaze from
his face to peer through the small rectangular slits worked into both doors that served as a means to
open the closet. What she saw shocked a gasp from her throat.
"Beryl," Darien bit out beside her from where he himself was peering out.
Indeed it was Beryl. A rather drunk Beryl who swayed precariously on her feet even as she
waved an almost empty glass off wine at the ceiling. It wasn't really the sight of her staggering
around and weaving around the chairs and tables that had shocked Serena and brought the angry
glint to Darien's eyes, though any reasonable person would agree that that would be enough, it
was something else. That something else was a white-haired, purple-eyed man dressed as the
Winter King. He had an arm wrapped rather possessively around Beryl's waist and was trying to
maneuver her onto one of the tables. Serena didn't need to be a genius to know exactly what the
strange man and drunk woman were going to do. It did, however, bring a mortified flush on Serena's
cheeks.
A furious hiss escaped from between Darien's clamped teeth as he watched as the man was finally
able to successfully lay Beryl down on one of the tables. Serena winced at the sound and stole a
sidelong glance at her companion. He was tense with suppressed anger, his shoulders hunched as
if he feared if he at all straightened he would not have the control to keep from bursting out of the
closet and into the open. His lips were pressed into a thin white line and his hands were balled
so tight into fists that his knuckles showed white against the skin. The muscles at his jaw worked
as he ground his teeth and what little she could see of his eyes made her cold. There was so much
rage in the midnight of his eyes that what was left of her heart shattered.
He loved Beryl.
How could she have ever doubted it?
What could have made her go along with what Raye had suggested?
What silly little hope had she nurtured that she thought she could lure him away from the red-head.
She was such an idiot.
An imbecile.
Stupid.
Lord, why was Life so cruel?
Why did he have to see Beryl do such a thing? Why did he have to have his heart broken?
It was not fair.
There was a thud, the sound of a rather heavy body hitting a well-polished floor. Serena's
attention was brought back to the scene before them and she blinked when she found the
man lying, dazed, on the floor. It seemed Beryl wasn't the only one who'd drunk too much
this night. The red-head was stooping down from her graceless position on the table and
was muttering something to her friend before she again burst out into that glass-shattering
screech she called a laugh. The man, in return, said something that made the laughter
cease. Serena wanted to hug him. She made a mental note of making sure to show him
her appreciation in some way shape or form, even if it was putting him out of his misery for
being the cause of Darien's current pain. Beryl made an angry little sound before she splashed
the man's face with what was left of her glass of wine. She missed, of course, and most of
the liquid ended up seeping hungrily into the front of his immaculate white shirt.
Serena squinted in order to see the man's eyes widen with outraged shock. He reached up
and, after several tries, grabbed Berly around the neck and yanked her off the table and
onto his lap. She emitted a high-pitched scream that Serena swore threatened to bring the
roof down on their heads. Berly gathered herself drunkenly to her feet, slapped her male
companion as hard as she could before stomping furiously out of the library. Of course she
ended up on the floor several more times courtesy of the chairs lying in her way, but she
found her way out and the man, pride wounded and costume stained, soon followed.
The silence they left was deafening.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In Heaven, silence reigned....
Stretched.
Tautened.
And finally broke.
The sound that gently eased Silence away made Venus close her eyes and release a
shuddering breath.
Serena was crying.
***
She didn't know when the tears started.
She didn't know where they came from.
All Serena was aware of was the grief that had pulled her into its embrace, crooning
tenderly to her ear like a mother coaxing her beloved child to sleep, and the sorrow
that had taken her hands in its firm, unrelenting grip. Heaven be merciful, it hurt. Her
chest ached. The air that came into her lungs burned and scraped against her throat
like nails. She shivered in the cold of her own making and for a sliver of a moment
found herself again the eight year old girl painstakingly gathering the crushed petals
of red roses that had been scattered on snow like a rain of blood. This time, however,
she was picking up the pieces of her heart. She drew in a shuddering breath and shut
her eyes.
She didn't want to see his face.
She longed to see his face.
What would it take to have the right to soothe him?
She loved her father, had adored him all her life, and, in that instant when she found herself
wishing she had been born to different parents, she hated herself. How could she, for any
moment, think about trading the love she had been given all her life for the money social
status to have a chance to be Darien's wife.
His wife!
A smile found its way to her lips. His wife. It was a dream. An impossible wish that was the
crowning glory of all impossible wishes. Yet it was a beautiful one. She was not the wife
society would deem could make him happy. But she would try. Didn't that count?
"Please..."
Serena turned blindly towards the anguished whisper and found hands carefully brushing away
her tears.
Darien.
"Please..."
His voice broke on a pleading note.
The young woman's eyes opened, glimmering with tears and what little light could fight its way
into the small closet. The sadness that was the source of her tears sent Darien's head reeling
as if he'd been struck. The anger that had been sparked by Berly flared into a rage.
Who hurt you?
Who made you so sad?
The questions in his eyes were never answered. One, he did not ask. Two, because she
refused to see them there.
"I'm sorry."
For a second, Darien thought his ears were lying. The earnest look on her tear-streaked
face, however, told him he had heard her right. She was apologizing.
"I'm so sorry," she whispered brokenly, lifting her hands to cup his face.
He stared down at her, bewildered.
When did he go from being the comforter to being the comforted?
He watched her take a deep breath and felt his heart plummet to lie at her feet when she
summoned up a brave little smile that made him feel like a child again. The tears had
transformed her eyes to a blue so dark they were like crushed hyacinths drenched with rain.
Such beautiful eyes. But so sad.
"Why..." he began haltingly, uncertain for once. "Why do you cry?"
The smile she wore wavered, her breath caught, then the smile returned and bloomed with an
emotion behind it that left him speechless. He had thought her eyes beautiful before but now....
Heaven, now....
There were simply no words.
He would never forget the first time she smiled at him like that. It was like seeing the first ray of
dawn caressing the world after being blind for your whole life. It was marvelous. Magnificent.
Exhilarating.
And it aroused in him a fear so profound it made his skin crawl.
He could see everything in her eyes. There were promises there that would be kept, wishes
meant to come true and that elusive something that at once drew him and repelled him. He felt
like a piece of rope she was tying into complicated knots that could never be undone. Darien
almost drew back from her, self-preservation finally kicking in. However, that was when she
chose to speak.
"I cry because...," Serena murmured then stopped, unable to stop a heartbroken sound from
escaping.
Please, Darien wanted to beg, please don't cry.
He hesitated, paused then reached out to her.
You're...
He traced the graceful line of her jaw with his fingertips while one arm encircled her waist
to draw her to him. In the cramped space of the small closet, he didn't have to pull her very far.
Serena's eyes widened behind her mask but whatever sound she would have made was silenced
by his thumb brushing against her lower lip.
Breaking...
They stared at each other, blue eyes diving into blue eyes. That was when Darien realized he
not only could see everything and forever in those eyes of hers, he could see himself. He
glimpsed what he had been, what he was and what he could become. So many people
said the eyes are the windows to the soul. He didn't think they meant that he could look
into this woman's eyes and see his soul. Not the reflection of himself, but the reality, the
entirety of his being.
My...
Serena couldn't move, couldn't breathe, couldn't think. Tears pooled at the corners of her eyes.
They slipped free and trailed down her cheeks, some clinging to her long lashes when she tried
to blink them away. Lord, how she loved this man.
Heart...
Darien made a small, helpless sound when her tears started again.
::Please don't cry.::
He rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes.
Serena's arms came around his waist. She tried to stop but she couldn't. So she stood there,
bewildered by the where and when and who, and wept.
He searched his mind frantically for a way to ease her tears.
::You're breaking my heart.::
He released a shuddering sigh.
Darien bent his head, paused, then gently, tenderly pressed his lips on hers.
The kiss surprised neither of them.
It was natural.
It was needed.
It was indescribable.
The kiss was chaste, sweet, innocent.
It needed to be nothing more.
::Please don't cry. You're breaking my heart.::
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In Heaven, all that were watching turned their heads away.
In Time, there were those moments that were simply meant to be shared by two individuals and one
soul alone.
This was such a moment.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
But as with every moments, this one ended.
The two occupants of the tiny librarian's closet pulled apart and stared.
Sunlit blue met midnight, locked and held.
"I..." Darien began brokenly, desperately searching for the words that could convey the swirling,
churning feelings in his gut. They didn't come.
The young woman watched him for several heartbeats before she turned away and worked the
door open. Light poured into her side of the closet, illuminating one side of her face and casting
the other into shadow.
"I'm sorry," Darien's voice, low and strained, stopped Serena with one foot out of the their
hiding place. She turned to look over her shoulder and studied his face. She could not
find it within herself to be embarrassed by what had just passed. The kiss, to her, was not
a source of shame. She had done nothing wrong and neither had he. So why was he
apologizing?
"Why?"
Startled, Darien's lips parted as if forming a reply but again the words he needed eluded him.
Why was he sorry? Frankly, he didn't know. It just felt like he needed to apologize. He
wasn't sorry for the kiss, but the emotion that was squeezing its hand around his heart
needed, demanded, him to say something. He made a sound at the back of his throat and
studied his shoes for some seconds. When he looked up, the young woman had stepped
out of the closet and was standing a couple of feet away with her back turned towards him.
For the first time since he had hit puberty, Darien found himself scrambling to follow.
She stopped at the sound of his footsteps and pivoted around to offer him a smile.
Understanding.
"You're forgiven," she whispered.
"I-" he broke off and started to reach for her then stopped.
"Thank you," he said, humbled. "Please," he called out when she simply smiled again and turned
to leave. "Wait."
Again, Serena stopped. She squeezed the hands she had clasped together in from of her and
offered a silent prayer to heaven. In all honesty, she didn't want to leave but she couldn't
afford to stay. In the fairy tale she had imagined for them he would sweep her in her arms
and they would ride away into the sunset towards their happily ever after, but their reality
would not allow that. There were just some things that could not be granted by any wish,
no matter how much the heart desired it. One day she wanted to have children, but she
knew that those children would not have black hair and the bluest blue for eyes. It was
about time she truly understood and faced that fact.
Perhaps some good would come out of this after all.
When she had been child, she'd never though this day would come. She'd blindly believed
that the powers that be would allow her to be an angel to that little boy who'd given her
his Christmas gold coin and a poorly made cresent moon. Time passed and the little girl
grew up and learned that there were enough guardian angels in heaven that none needed
to be on earth.
"Look at me," Darien's insistent tone broke through her thoughts and she automatically
turned.
He had taken off his mask.
He stood before her, the domino mask held in one hand, uncertainty written on every line
of his perfect features. She had thought him beautiful from so close a distance with the mask
on; she was completely unprepared for the impact he had on her knees with it off.
Heaven be merciful, men who looked like that should be outlawed.
"My name is Darien Shields," he began slowly, taking one cautious step towards her as if
afraid she'd flee. "Mina, the hostess, is my cousin."
Serena watched him warily from behind her mask and almost grinned. Wouldn't he be surprised
if she told him that she knew all this already. And more. She knew where most of his scars
were on his body, which way he liked his hot chocolate and coffee prepared, what his favorite
Christmas present was, whether he snored when he slept. . . . It was amusing to have him
tell her his name.
That was when she realized he was looking at her, expectantly. He was waiting for her to
introduce herself.
Serena felt her stomach plummet to her feet in a cold knot. "Nice to meet you," she managed
to say rather tightly while sidling away from him, hoping he would not pursue the subject and
let her go.
"I have a younger sister," Darien continued. "Her name is Raye."
Serena kept on creeping towards the door. "Ah... That's nice," she murmured.
With three long strides he was at her side and leaning down towards her face. "She told
me she was your friend."
Serena squeaked and began to open and close her mouth like a fish out of water.
"May I know your name?" Darien queried with a lazy smile that took its sweet time spreading
over his sensual lips.
Serena squeaked again. "No," she blurted out and darted away from him.
Darien, taken off guard by her abrupt and unexpected reply, could only stare with a
bemused smile at the space on the floor she had previously occupied. The quiet click of the
library door closing drew out a sigh from him.
"Well," he murmured as he refastened the domino mask on his face. "Maybe I can convince
her to dance with me." He grinned and, whistling, left the library.
The closet, its doors left ajar, was left for the servants to find in the morning. The two girls who had
been assigned to clean the library would sigh in mild annoyance at the silly old librarian who always
seemed to forget not to simply toss his drab brown clothes onto the closet floor. They wouldn't even
remember that the librarian had gone to visit his only grandchild and had been gone for a week and that
the closet had stood undisturbed for even longer a time.
_____________________________________________________________________________
More Author's Notes:
In a closet. Who'd have thought. I actually couldn't see a way to get them out of there... ^^;
That was short. O.O *winces* It's about two-thirds the length of the previous chapters. I
apologize but somehow... I couldn't bring myself to write anymore. *yeeks at the melodrama
in the chapter*
AUTHOR'S NOTES ARE ADDICTIVE!!!
I mean... *coff* Any suggestions on where they go from here? ¬.¬ Ummm... Not the bedroom.
Although the idea does have benefits! XD *ducks* That was a joke. I'd do a horrible job at
writing that. I'll leave it to the writers who accomplish such things with taste and grace.
Suggestions are more than welcome at this point. Please?
Well, I hope it wasn't disappointing. Again, I apologize for it being so short. And thank you,
THANK YOU, for reading.
Always,
Dina
Title: The Rose
Chapter: Three
E-mail: nyaliss@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: I still don't own any part of Sailor Moon... Still wishing.
Author's Notes:
Uuuuuuuhhhhhhmmmm... Hi. *listens to silence and echoes* ^^; I have been
gone a while, eh? I apologize for my neglect. I really have no excuse. It's
just that... Life happens. I can't say any more than that.
I would, however, like to take the time to thank all those that have been with
me through the past year. Thank you. You guys, and you know who you are, have
been great. Thank you for the support, for the patience, for the kindness, for
the understanding, for the hope that you've given me. Thank you for never
letting me give up even when it seemed there was nothing left for me to do. You've taught
me lessons these past months that I will carry with me throughout my life. I will
be forever grateful.
WARNING: Let's just say... It's a bit... Melodramatic? I don't know a good word to
describe it... ^^; SHORT CHAPTER. And a reminder, this is an AR fic written for
the sheer enjoyment and satisfaction of the seventeen year old author, though she's not
sure what you'll think of it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
...Closets...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Everyone held their breaths.
Everyone was still as they watched the events below unfold.
Everyone, that is, but for one.
"So now what?" Sol demanded in a voice that seemed overly loud considering
the utter silence that had blanketed his companions.
Everyone winced and, as one, turned to face the King.
"SHHHHHHHHHH!" was the unanimous command.
Sol emitted an 'eeep' but did not listen to Wisdom. "Well? They're just
standing there? Make them do something, Venus!"
The goddess of Love opened her mouth to speak but was forestalled by a
fuming Moon. "If you hadn't decided to mess with Karma, they wouldn't
be just 'standing there' in that closet."
The Sun's eyes darted every which way and he coughed.
"So be quiet and just watch," Eurynome continued, "or go away and leave
Venus in peace."
"But..." the Sun began but trailed off when he saw that Venus, Serenity,
Endymion, Fate and Destiny were watching him and Eury instead of the
couple below.
"They're just as fun to watch, aren't they?" Fate said with a slight giggle.
"Yeah," Endymion agreed with a sidelong glance at the grinning goddess seated
beside his soulmate. "Almost as fun as watching Venus and Mars."
"Why you..." Venus growled ever so slightly before remembering herself. She
lifted her nose up haughtily in the air and sniffed. "It is all his fault."
"That's the gratitude I get for urging one of mine to give your favorite
lovebirds a hand?" a very male, very amused voice murmured behind her.
Mars.
Venus shut her eyes and wished, desperately, for something hard to hit herself
with. Why couldn't they all just leave her in peace to do what she did best?
***
"You."
The word hung breathlessly between them, shutting out all the noise that existed
beyond the small confines of the closet that was, for the moment, their world. Darien's
voice shimmered in the air as real as the masks they wore on their faces and the
unsteady rhythm of their hearts. It covered a multitude of meanings yet said nothing at
all.
Her eyes were so... blue.
A beautiful, warm, achingly familiar shade of blue.
Darien's breath caught and, for endless seconds, ceased.
"Your eyes," he said in a broken whisper as he unconsciously lifted a hand as if to touch
her face, but he stopped short inches from her nose.
Serena merely looked at him in silence, hands at her side, features a neutral mask. There must
be someone out there who was bent on making her crazy. She had fled to the library in hopes
that he would not be able to find her there and had jumped into the most unlikely, or so she
thought, hiding place available only to have him intrude upon her privacy. Her privacy! The
thought and her current situation threatened to rip a very unladylike snort from her lips which
would probably be the prelude to hysterical laughter or tears. She was, very frankly, scared.
She stared at his face, so close... All she had to do was reach out and she would be able to
brush her fingers along the strong line of his jaw; all she had to do was lean forward and she
would be able to press her lips upon his cheek. It would be easy. He would not expect her
to do anything like that.
And she wanted to do it.
She wanted to take that one small step towards him and wrap her arms around her waist,
rest her ear against his chest to listen to his heart. She wanted to tell him how many times
she'd stood outside of his home, looking through the window to watch him. She wanted to
tell him about all her hopes, her dreams, her fears. She wanted to take his hand in hers and
press it against her cheek. She wanted... She wanted to tell him...
I love you.
Her eyes clouded over, darkened, and she bowed her head and allowed her lashes to
sweep down against her cheeks to hide her expression. So what if she did do all those
things? It wouldn't matter. It wouldn't be enough. There were so many things she
wished for, so much longing in her for things that could never be. It hurt to think even
think about them. A hand wrapped around her heart, squeezed. If only wishes really did
come true... If only there really was someone out there who would only give her half the
chance to prove that though she might not be worthy of him, that she loved him as no
one else would. If only that someone would also ask her what she wanted and give it
to her. What would she ask for? What did she want?
She wanted him to reach out and wrap his arms around her to pull her into the cradle of his
embrace, to warm her and hold her. She wanted him to tell her everything would be okay,
that all of her dreams would come true and none of her fears would be able to touch her
because he would be there to keep them away, at bay. She wanted to feel his fingers curl
around her own, wanted to look into those midnight blue eyes of his and see a smile light their
depths. She wanted to be able to give him the Christmas presents she had collected for him
over the years and kept hidden under her bed. She'd always been afraid to leave them with
the roses she left every year, half afraid and half ashamed.
What were her gifts compared to those he received from family and friends? They were
nothing in comparison, but that did not keep her from dreaming. She had often imagined him
opening one of her gifts, of watching a smile start deep within his eyes before they would curve
his lips. Serena, however, had never imagined herself there with him as he opened her gift.
She'd never seen herself in her mind's eye sitting beside him, watching as a smile spread over
his features and him hugging her in thanks. She had accepted long ago that it would never
be and so contented herself with the idea of anonymously sending her presents, but she never did
send them.
She wanted...
Love.
His love.
And the impossibility of it, the hopelessness, hit her like a kick in the gut as she opened her eyes
and lifted her head to gaze at his face half hidden in the shadows of the closet. He would never
know her. He would never love her.
Never.
"Are you okay?" she heard him say, his husky voice colored with concern. "You look pale."
Serena wrapped her arms around herself and met his eyes. He was studying her with his usual
quiet intensity. It was unnerving, it made her nervous, but it was also exhilarating. The color
which he had been so concerned about crept back to her cheeks and a smile, sweet and tender,
found its way to her lips. She remained silent for several more seconds, contenting herself with
gazing at his face. Perhaps she was a foolish girl for giving her heart to someone who would
never return her feelings, for yearning for someone that life had made sure she would never have.
The pain around her heart contracted then eased, leaving her to draw in a shuddering breath that
shook her slim shoulders as if she was in tears. She had accepted that she would one day have to
let him go, that she would one day have to give him up. She had just never known it would be so...
hard. She felt something warm brush her arm and bit back a gasp when she realized he had laid a
hand on her shoulder. Serena turned her head to stare, fascinated, at the back of his hand so very
close to her face.
"Why..." he began softly, his voice low and strained.
She again lifted here eyes to his and his brain stuttered to a stop. Honest to heaven, she was
beautiful; however, for once in his life Darien was not sure if he found her beautiful because of
the obvious perfection of her features. For once, he wondered if he found her beautiful because
she called to a part of him that he had never known existed. That part of him that compelled him
to nestle her in the curve of his arms and never let her go. He had a ridiculous notion to ask her
then and there to marry him. The realization that such thoughts were running through his mind made
his stomach coil into an unpleasant knot that almost sent him into a panic. She brought out feelings
in him he had not known he was capable of and wasn't very sure if he liked very much. She terrified
him, this angelic slip of a girl dressed in white.
"Why...?" she repeated in a hesitant little voice.
"Why do I..." Darien trailed off again.
Know you?
Why do I feel this way?
Why do I have this desperate need to hang on to you and never let go?
"Why?" he repeated, at a loss.
Serena's brows furrowed, bewildered. A memory of Raye and her fear of Darien having some
sort of affliction sparked briefly into her mind and made her wince. Perhaps she had been right
except where Raye was able to baffle her with words, Darien baffled her with his lack thereof.
She wanted to shake him but was saved from actually doing so by the outside world.
The laugh, sickeningly sweet and grating, that had sent Darien diving for cover rang out again,
closer this time, and brought both occupants of the little librarian's closet crashing back to reality.
Serena squeezed herself tighter into the corner she had worked herself into and tore her gaze from
his face to peer through the small rectangular slits worked into both doors that served as a means to
open the closet. What she saw shocked a gasp from her throat.
"Beryl," Darien bit out beside her from where he himself was peering out.
Indeed it was Beryl. A rather drunk Beryl who swayed precariously on her feet even as she
waved an almost empty glass off wine at the ceiling. It wasn't really the sight of her staggering
around and weaving around the chairs and tables that had shocked Serena and brought the angry
glint to Darien's eyes, though any reasonable person would agree that that would be enough, it
was something else. That something else was a white-haired, purple-eyed man dressed as the
Winter King. He had an arm wrapped rather possessively around Beryl's waist and was trying to
maneuver her onto one of the tables. Serena didn't need to be a genius to know exactly what the
strange man and drunk woman were going to do. It did, however, bring a mortified flush on Serena's
cheeks.
A furious hiss escaped from between Darien's clamped teeth as he watched as the man was finally
able to successfully lay Beryl down on one of the tables. Serena winced at the sound and stole a
sidelong glance at her companion. He was tense with suppressed anger, his shoulders hunched as
if he feared if he at all straightened he would not have the control to keep from bursting out of the
closet and into the open. His lips were pressed into a thin white line and his hands were balled
so tight into fists that his knuckles showed white against the skin. The muscles at his jaw worked
as he ground his teeth and what little she could see of his eyes made her cold. There was so much
rage in the midnight of his eyes that what was left of her heart shattered.
He loved Beryl.
How could she have ever doubted it?
What could have made her go along with what Raye had suggested?
What silly little hope had she nurtured that she thought she could lure him away from the red-head.
She was such an idiot.
An imbecile.
Stupid.
Lord, why was Life so cruel?
Why did he have to see Beryl do such a thing? Why did he have to have his heart broken?
It was not fair.
There was a thud, the sound of a rather heavy body hitting a well-polished floor. Serena's
attention was brought back to the scene before them and she blinked when she found the
man lying, dazed, on the floor. It seemed Beryl wasn't the only one who'd drunk too much
this night. The red-head was stooping down from her graceless position on the table and
was muttering something to her friend before she again burst out into that glass-shattering
screech she called a laugh. The man, in return, said something that made the laughter
cease. Serena wanted to hug him. She made a mental note of making sure to show him
her appreciation in some way shape or form, even if it was putting him out of his misery for
being the cause of Darien's current pain. Beryl made an angry little sound before she splashed
the man's face with what was left of her glass of wine. She missed, of course, and most of
the liquid ended up seeping hungrily into the front of his immaculate white shirt.
Serena squinted in order to see the man's eyes widen with outraged shock. He reached up
and, after several tries, grabbed Berly around the neck and yanked her off the table and
onto his lap. She emitted a high-pitched scream that Serena swore threatened to bring the
roof down on their heads. Berly gathered herself drunkenly to her feet, slapped her male
companion as hard as she could before stomping furiously out of the library. Of course she
ended up on the floor several more times courtesy of the chairs lying in her way, but she
found her way out and the man, pride wounded and costume stained, soon followed.
The silence they left was deafening.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In Heaven, silence reigned....
Stretched.
Tautened.
And finally broke.
The sound that gently eased Silence away made Venus close her eyes and release a
shuddering breath.
Serena was crying.
***
She didn't know when the tears started.
She didn't know where they came from.
All Serena was aware of was the grief that had pulled her into its embrace, crooning
tenderly to her ear like a mother coaxing her beloved child to sleep, and the sorrow
that had taken her hands in its firm, unrelenting grip. Heaven be merciful, it hurt. Her
chest ached. The air that came into her lungs burned and scraped against her throat
like nails. She shivered in the cold of her own making and for a sliver of a moment
found herself again the eight year old girl painstakingly gathering the crushed petals
of red roses that had been scattered on snow like a rain of blood. This time, however,
she was picking up the pieces of her heart. She drew in a shuddering breath and shut
her eyes.
She didn't want to see his face.
She longed to see his face.
What would it take to have the right to soothe him?
She loved her father, had adored him all her life, and, in that instant when she found herself
wishing she had been born to different parents, she hated herself. How could she, for any
moment, think about trading the love she had been given all her life for the money social
status to have a chance to be Darien's wife.
His wife!
A smile found its way to her lips. His wife. It was a dream. An impossible wish that was the
crowning glory of all impossible wishes. Yet it was a beautiful one. She was not the wife
society would deem could make him happy. But she would try. Didn't that count?
"Please..."
Serena turned blindly towards the anguished whisper and found hands carefully brushing away
her tears.
Darien.
"Please..."
His voice broke on a pleading note.
The young woman's eyes opened, glimmering with tears and what little light could fight its way
into the small closet. The sadness that was the source of her tears sent Darien's head reeling
as if he'd been struck. The anger that had been sparked by Berly flared into a rage.
Who hurt you?
Who made you so sad?
The questions in his eyes were never answered. One, he did not ask. Two, because she
refused to see them there.
"I'm sorry."
For a second, Darien thought his ears were lying. The earnest look on her tear-streaked
face, however, told him he had heard her right. She was apologizing.
"I'm so sorry," she whispered brokenly, lifting her hands to cup his face.
He stared down at her, bewildered.
When did he go from being the comforter to being the comforted?
He watched her take a deep breath and felt his heart plummet to lie at her feet when she
summoned up a brave little smile that made him feel like a child again. The tears had
transformed her eyes to a blue so dark they were like crushed hyacinths drenched with rain.
Such beautiful eyes. But so sad.
"Why..." he began haltingly, uncertain for once. "Why do you cry?"
The smile she wore wavered, her breath caught, then the smile returned and bloomed with an
emotion behind it that left him speechless. He had thought her eyes beautiful before but now....
Heaven, now....
There were simply no words.
He would never forget the first time she smiled at him like that. It was like seeing the first ray of
dawn caressing the world after being blind for your whole life. It was marvelous. Magnificent.
Exhilarating.
And it aroused in him a fear so profound it made his skin crawl.
He could see everything in her eyes. There were promises there that would be kept, wishes
meant to come true and that elusive something that at once drew him and repelled him. He felt
like a piece of rope she was tying into complicated knots that could never be undone. Darien
almost drew back from her, self-preservation finally kicking in. However, that was when she
chose to speak.
"I cry because...," Serena murmured then stopped, unable to stop a heartbroken sound from
escaping.
Please, Darien wanted to beg, please don't cry.
He hesitated, paused then reached out to her.
You're...
He traced the graceful line of her jaw with his fingertips while one arm encircled her waist
to draw her to him. In the cramped space of the small closet, he didn't have to pull her very far.
Serena's eyes widened behind her mask but whatever sound she would have made was silenced
by his thumb brushing against her lower lip.
Breaking...
They stared at each other, blue eyes diving into blue eyes. That was when Darien realized he
not only could see everything and forever in those eyes of hers, he could see himself. He
glimpsed what he had been, what he was and what he could become. So many people
said the eyes are the windows to the soul. He didn't think they meant that he could look
into this woman's eyes and see his soul. Not the reflection of himself, but the reality, the
entirety of his being.
My...
Serena couldn't move, couldn't breathe, couldn't think. Tears pooled at the corners of her eyes.
They slipped free and trailed down her cheeks, some clinging to her long lashes when she tried
to blink them away. Lord, how she loved this man.
Heart...
Darien made a small, helpless sound when her tears started again.
::Please don't cry.::
He rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes.
Serena's arms came around his waist. She tried to stop but she couldn't. So she stood there,
bewildered by the where and when and who, and wept.
He searched his mind frantically for a way to ease her tears.
::You're breaking my heart.::
He released a shuddering sigh.
Darien bent his head, paused, then gently, tenderly pressed his lips on hers.
The kiss surprised neither of them.
It was natural.
It was needed.
It was indescribable.
The kiss was chaste, sweet, innocent.
It needed to be nothing more.
::Please don't cry. You're breaking my heart.::
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In Heaven, all that were watching turned their heads away.
In Time, there were those moments that were simply meant to be shared by two individuals and one
soul alone.
This was such a moment.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
But as with every moments, this one ended.
The two occupants of the tiny librarian's closet pulled apart and stared.
Sunlit blue met midnight, locked and held.
"I..." Darien began brokenly, desperately searching for the words that could convey the swirling,
churning feelings in his gut. They didn't come.
The young woman watched him for several heartbeats before she turned away and worked the
door open. Light poured into her side of the closet, illuminating one side of her face and casting
the other into shadow.
"I'm sorry," Darien's voice, low and strained, stopped Serena with one foot out of the their
hiding place. She turned to look over her shoulder and studied his face. She could not
find it within herself to be embarrassed by what had just passed. The kiss, to her, was not
a source of shame. She had done nothing wrong and neither had he. So why was he
apologizing?
"Why?"
Startled, Darien's lips parted as if forming a reply but again the words he needed eluded him.
Why was he sorry? Frankly, he didn't know. It just felt like he needed to apologize. He
wasn't sorry for the kiss, but the emotion that was squeezing its hand around his heart
needed, demanded, him to say something. He made a sound at the back of his throat and
studied his shoes for some seconds. When he looked up, the young woman had stepped
out of the closet and was standing a couple of feet away with her back turned towards him.
For the first time since he had hit puberty, Darien found himself scrambling to follow.
She stopped at the sound of his footsteps and pivoted around to offer him a smile.
Understanding.
"You're forgiven," she whispered.
"I-" he broke off and started to reach for her then stopped.
"Thank you," he said, humbled. "Please," he called out when she simply smiled again and turned
to leave. "Wait."
Again, Serena stopped. She squeezed the hands she had clasped together in from of her and
offered a silent prayer to heaven. In all honesty, she didn't want to leave but she couldn't
afford to stay. In the fairy tale she had imagined for them he would sweep her in her arms
and they would ride away into the sunset towards their happily ever after, but their reality
would not allow that. There were just some things that could not be granted by any wish,
no matter how much the heart desired it. One day she wanted to have children, but she
knew that those children would not have black hair and the bluest blue for eyes. It was
about time she truly understood and faced that fact.
Perhaps some good would come out of this after all.
When she had been child, she'd never though this day would come. She'd blindly believed
that the powers that be would allow her to be an angel to that little boy who'd given her
his Christmas gold coin and a poorly made cresent moon. Time passed and the little girl
grew up and learned that there were enough guardian angels in heaven that none needed
to be on earth.
"Look at me," Darien's insistent tone broke through her thoughts and she automatically
turned.
He had taken off his mask.
He stood before her, the domino mask held in one hand, uncertainty written on every line
of his perfect features. She had thought him beautiful from so close a distance with the mask
on; she was completely unprepared for the impact he had on her knees with it off.
Heaven be merciful, men who looked like that should be outlawed.
"My name is Darien Shields," he began slowly, taking one cautious step towards her as if
afraid she'd flee. "Mina, the hostess, is my cousin."
Serena watched him warily from behind her mask and almost grinned. Wouldn't he be surprised
if she told him that she knew all this already. And more. She knew where most of his scars
were on his body, which way he liked his hot chocolate and coffee prepared, what his favorite
Christmas present was, whether he snored when he slept. . . . It was amusing to have him
tell her his name.
That was when she realized he was looking at her, expectantly. He was waiting for her to
introduce herself.
Serena felt her stomach plummet to her feet in a cold knot. "Nice to meet you," she managed
to say rather tightly while sidling away from him, hoping he would not pursue the subject and
let her go.
"I have a younger sister," Darien continued. "Her name is Raye."
Serena kept on creeping towards the door. "Ah... That's nice," she murmured.
With three long strides he was at her side and leaning down towards her face. "She told
me she was your friend."
Serena squeaked and began to open and close her mouth like a fish out of water.
"May I know your name?" Darien queried with a lazy smile that took its sweet time spreading
over his sensual lips.
Serena squeaked again. "No," she blurted out and darted away from him.
Darien, taken off guard by her abrupt and unexpected reply, could only stare with a
bemused smile at the space on the floor she had previously occupied. The quiet click of the
library door closing drew out a sigh from him.
"Well," he murmured as he refastened the domino mask on his face. "Maybe I can convince
her to dance with me." He grinned and, whistling, left the library.
The closet, its doors left ajar, was left for the servants to find in the morning. The two girls who had
been assigned to clean the library would sigh in mild annoyance at the silly old librarian who always
seemed to forget not to simply toss his drab brown clothes onto the closet floor. They wouldn't even
remember that the librarian had gone to visit his only grandchild and had been gone for a week and that
the closet had stood undisturbed for even longer a time.
_____________________________________________________________________________
More Author's Notes:
In a closet. Who'd have thought. I actually couldn't see a way to get them out of there... ^^;
That was short. O.O *winces* It's about two-thirds the length of the previous chapters. I
apologize but somehow... I couldn't bring myself to write anymore. *yeeks at the melodrama
in the chapter*
AUTHOR'S NOTES ARE ADDICTIVE!!!
I mean... *coff* Any suggestions on where they go from here? ¬.¬ Ummm... Not the bedroom.
Although the idea does have benefits! XD *ducks* That was a joke. I'd do a horrible job at
writing that. I'll leave it to the writers who accomplish such things with taste and grace.
Suggestions are more than welcome at this point. Please?
Well, I hope it wasn't disappointing. Again, I apologize for it being so short. And thank you,
THANK YOU, for reading.
Always,
Dina