A/n I Updated!!!!!!!!!!! Isn't it amazing? I've been trying to for days but
I had writers block, food poisoning, then I went away and then I was
grounded and not allowed on the computer and so I wrote out the next couple
of chapters by hand. You get the point.
Anyways I tell you the DA writers are reading my fanfic. Did anyone else notice in the season finale that Max ditched her pager for a cell phone? (Which happened to look suspiciously like White's cell phone) And hello? Latex gloves. People we are only a step away from full latex body condoms and squirrel assassins. Right, right you want to read the fic. I'll shut up now.
"Father..." The word echoed through the house. Alec froze. *Normal was Sandeman? This was weird* Normal turned to Joshua.
"Joshua is that really you?"
Joshua nodded.
"Come here big fellow." He said and embraced him. Then he pulled back and turned to Alec.
" You let Max in the same house as Joshua? What if she found out? What if she discovered what you truly are? What if…"
"What the hell is going on?" Max asked from the doorway.
"Um Max we have a bit of a situation here." Alec said not sure how to approach this.
"I can see that. What the hell is that doing in your house." She said pointing to Normal.
Normal thought that she was pointing at Joshua and decided to take action.
"Now look here missy miss." He said. "This is all just a bad dream. It is just a concoction of your imagination brought on by the bitterness you feel over being the latest in Alec's long string of one night stands."
"Little Fella getting busy with Alec?" Joshua asked confused.
"Not yet Joshua." Max replied without thinking. Then she realised what she had said and glanced quickly over at Alec who was grinning. Max blushed and glanced down at the floor.
"Hold your horses!" Normal said trying to figure out what was going on. " You know Joshua?"
"Of course I know Joshua." Max said as though it should be obvious to everyone that she did.
"But…" Joshua said only to be cut off.
"You let Max meet Joshua? You idiot." Normal yelled at Alec. Normal turned his attention back to Max. "It doesn't bother you that he's a horribly misshapen freak?"
"But…" Joshua interjected again.
"The only horribly misshapen freak that I see is you. I think you should leave now." Max said angrily.
"But father said that Max and Alec getting busy." Joshua got out in the silence that followed.
Max's head snapped around.
"When did he say that Joshua?" She whispered. Max glanced up at Normal and then over at Alec who nodded. Max gasped. Normal was in a state of intense confusion and stared blankly at the events taking place around him.
"Alec?" He said helplessly. Alec stepped forward.
"Sandeman, I'd like you to meet 452."
Normal collapsed into a chair.
"She's been right in front of me the entire time." He whispered in shock. Normal seemed to slip into deep thought and silence hovered in the little room.
Sumo entered and sprang up onto Alec's shoulder like a cat and whispered the latest news in his ear. Sumo jumped down and Alec pulled Max aside.
"Apparently Logan has been injured. He spent many hours in a doctors office and is now completely covered in bandages." He told her.
"Let's go check it out." She said. "Normal stay here with Joshua."
They zoomed into the night on Max's bike. Max drove and Alec sat behind her arms wrapped tightly around her middle. Sumo sitting on the back of the motorcycle held on to Alec for dear life and prayed for the ride to end.
"You know I'm feeling ripped off on this whole squirrel royalty thing." Max yelled back to Alec when she noticed Sumo.
"How so?" He asked her leaning closer so he could talk in her ear. His body was flush against her back and she felt safe and secure.
"Where is my massive squirrel body guard?" She asked. She could feel him smirking.
"Why do you need a body guard you have me?" He said
"And my pie?"
"As I recall my massive squirrel body guard ate most of my pie and you got most of the rest."
"I didn't see you complaining about it." Max smiled.
"And I wouldn't complain if you ate my pie again as long as the result was the same." Alec nipped at her ear gently. Suddenly Max realised where they were and stopped the bike.
"We're here." She announced.
Alec still had his arms wrapped tightly around her waist.
"You're not getting off this bike until you you've paid the toll." He told her teasingly.
"Oh and what might that be?" She asked.
"A kiss."
She struggled to get off but Alec held her tight.
"Alright." She sighed.
Max turned her head and pressed her lips softly against Alec's. She had only meant for it to be a peck but she found herself running her fingers through his hair and pulling him close. She wanted to lose herself in his taste.
Sumo made a disapproving cough and Max and Alec jumped back like chastised teenagers. Then Max and Alec looked at Sumo and burst out laughing. His hair had been blown flat along his top and sides but was sticking wildly out at odd angles at the back making him appear more like a porcupine than an overgrown squirrel. Sumo glared grumpily and began to climb Foggle towers so he could guard them from the window.
Logan was sitting in his apartment staring in the mirror. He was admiring his hair. He had just got back from the hair salon where he had had his hair cut and styled the exact same way that Alec kept his. He had been thrilled. Now that he was looking in the mirror the pit of his stomach fell. His hair was a decidedly different colour than that of Alec's. But that wasn't the dilemma. He couldn't decide exactly what colour Alec's hair was. He personally had always thought that it was brown. But as he studied the dye catalogue he discovered that there was no such colour as brown. He flipped through the pictures. Sunkissed looked close. He turned the page and grinned. *I have it! Hazelnut. * He studied the photograph. * Looks pretty good* he thought and began to flip to the shipping information page. He froze staring at the picture open in front of him. *Maybe Alec's hair was really nutshell. * He flipped to the next page. * No. It was acorn. He was positive. * He flipped the page again. *Maybe not exactly positive because ruddy straw looked pretty damn close. * Logan rested his head in his hands and massaged his throbbing temples. * There was only one way he could resolve this. * He finally decided. * He needed a sample. * Logan grabbed a pair of scissors from his drawer and grabbed his coat. The sound of an approaching motorcycle caused him to glance out the window. He saw Max and Alec kissing on her bike and he made a caveman growl deep in his throat. *He was going to get her back. But first he had to get rid of the evidence. * He picked up the dye catalogues and pictures of Alec and shoved them in a box, which he kicked behind his computer. The scissors felt warm in his hand. He would find the exact pigmentation of Alec's hair and duplicate it. Once that was finished he could move on to more important matters like the exact shade of Alec's eyes.
He was staring off into space when Max opened the door of his apartment.
"Logan?" She called. "Are you ok?"
Logan swivelled in his chair.
"I'm fine Max. I just have a couple of 3rd degree burns. Nothing serious."
Alec tried to hide his amusement at what was possibly the worst lie he had ever heard.
Max seemed to buy it though and her face softened with concern.
"What happened?" She asked.
"I very heroically saved 7 orphans and a kitten from a burning building. I tried so hard to save the goldfish but…" Logan's voice cracked with emotion. "It didn't make it."
"I'm so sorry Logan." Max said comfortingly. "I know hard it is when you can't get everyone out."
Logan nodded.
It was all too much for Alec.
"Give me a break!" He said. " I bet he just went and had a nose job and a face lift. I hear old rich people get those sometimes."
Max glared at him.
"Alec. Logan did a very brave thing. The least you could do is be nice to him."
Alec glanced guiltily away but not before Logan got a good look at them. *Definitely green. * He thought. Alec's eyes wandered to the window where he discovered Sumo pressed flat against the glass staring in at them. Max saw it too and exchanged a glance with Alec.
*Great! * Logan thought. * Now they are making puppy dog eyes at each other. As soon as I get this sample. I'm kicking Alec out and having a romantic evening with Max and wine and candlelig…* He gripped the scissors tightly in his hand.
"Is there anything we can do for you?" Max asked.
"Actually there is." Logan replied. "I have it on good authority that I may recover faster if I can isolate a specific transgenic regeneration property."
Alec and Max stared at him blankly.
"I need a piece of Alec's DNA. Preferably some of his hair." Logan simplified holding up the scissors.
"You want me to mess up my doo?" Alec asked incredulously. "For that sorry excuse for a lie no way. You wanted the surgery you suffer the pain buddy."
"Alec." Max said disapprovingly.
"Can't I just pee in a cup or something?" He asked.
"Hair is best." Logan said.
Alec pouted miserably until Max leaned in and whispered in his ear.
"I'll make it up to you later."
Alec grabbed the scissors and chopped out a chunk. Grinning he handed it to Logan and grabbing Max by the waist pulled her out of the apartment.
Once they were gone Logan quickly analysed the hair and decided that without a doubt it was Walnut. He picked up the phone and ordered the dye.
Anyways I tell you the DA writers are reading my fanfic. Did anyone else notice in the season finale that Max ditched her pager for a cell phone? (Which happened to look suspiciously like White's cell phone) And hello? Latex gloves. People we are only a step away from full latex body condoms and squirrel assassins. Right, right you want to read the fic. I'll shut up now.
"Father..." The word echoed through the house. Alec froze. *Normal was Sandeman? This was weird* Normal turned to Joshua.
"Joshua is that really you?"
Joshua nodded.
"Come here big fellow." He said and embraced him. Then he pulled back and turned to Alec.
" You let Max in the same house as Joshua? What if she found out? What if she discovered what you truly are? What if…"
"What the hell is going on?" Max asked from the doorway.
"Um Max we have a bit of a situation here." Alec said not sure how to approach this.
"I can see that. What the hell is that doing in your house." She said pointing to Normal.
Normal thought that she was pointing at Joshua and decided to take action.
"Now look here missy miss." He said. "This is all just a bad dream. It is just a concoction of your imagination brought on by the bitterness you feel over being the latest in Alec's long string of one night stands."
"Little Fella getting busy with Alec?" Joshua asked confused.
"Not yet Joshua." Max replied without thinking. Then she realised what she had said and glanced quickly over at Alec who was grinning. Max blushed and glanced down at the floor.
"Hold your horses!" Normal said trying to figure out what was going on. " You know Joshua?"
"Of course I know Joshua." Max said as though it should be obvious to everyone that she did.
"But…" Joshua said only to be cut off.
"You let Max meet Joshua? You idiot." Normal yelled at Alec. Normal turned his attention back to Max. "It doesn't bother you that he's a horribly misshapen freak?"
"But…" Joshua interjected again.
"The only horribly misshapen freak that I see is you. I think you should leave now." Max said angrily.
"But father said that Max and Alec getting busy." Joshua got out in the silence that followed.
Max's head snapped around.
"When did he say that Joshua?" She whispered. Max glanced up at Normal and then over at Alec who nodded. Max gasped. Normal was in a state of intense confusion and stared blankly at the events taking place around him.
"Alec?" He said helplessly. Alec stepped forward.
"Sandeman, I'd like you to meet 452."
Normal collapsed into a chair.
"She's been right in front of me the entire time." He whispered in shock. Normal seemed to slip into deep thought and silence hovered in the little room.
Sumo entered and sprang up onto Alec's shoulder like a cat and whispered the latest news in his ear. Sumo jumped down and Alec pulled Max aside.
"Apparently Logan has been injured. He spent many hours in a doctors office and is now completely covered in bandages." He told her.
"Let's go check it out." She said. "Normal stay here with Joshua."
They zoomed into the night on Max's bike. Max drove and Alec sat behind her arms wrapped tightly around her middle. Sumo sitting on the back of the motorcycle held on to Alec for dear life and prayed for the ride to end.
"You know I'm feeling ripped off on this whole squirrel royalty thing." Max yelled back to Alec when she noticed Sumo.
"How so?" He asked her leaning closer so he could talk in her ear. His body was flush against her back and she felt safe and secure.
"Where is my massive squirrel body guard?" She asked. She could feel him smirking.
"Why do you need a body guard you have me?" He said
"And my pie?"
"As I recall my massive squirrel body guard ate most of my pie and you got most of the rest."
"I didn't see you complaining about it." Max smiled.
"And I wouldn't complain if you ate my pie again as long as the result was the same." Alec nipped at her ear gently. Suddenly Max realised where they were and stopped the bike.
"We're here." She announced.
Alec still had his arms wrapped tightly around her waist.
"You're not getting off this bike until you you've paid the toll." He told her teasingly.
"Oh and what might that be?" She asked.
"A kiss."
She struggled to get off but Alec held her tight.
"Alright." She sighed.
Max turned her head and pressed her lips softly against Alec's. She had only meant for it to be a peck but she found herself running her fingers through his hair and pulling him close. She wanted to lose herself in his taste.
Sumo made a disapproving cough and Max and Alec jumped back like chastised teenagers. Then Max and Alec looked at Sumo and burst out laughing. His hair had been blown flat along his top and sides but was sticking wildly out at odd angles at the back making him appear more like a porcupine than an overgrown squirrel. Sumo glared grumpily and began to climb Foggle towers so he could guard them from the window.
Logan was sitting in his apartment staring in the mirror. He was admiring his hair. He had just got back from the hair salon where he had had his hair cut and styled the exact same way that Alec kept his. He had been thrilled. Now that he was looking in the mirror the pit of his stomach fell. His hair was a decidedly different colour than that of Alec's. But that wasn't the dilemma. He couldn't decide exactly what colour Alec's hair was. He personally had always thought that it was brown. But as he studied the dye catalogue he discovered that there was no such colour as brown. He flipped through the pictures. Sunkissed looked close. He turned the page and grinned. *I have it! Hazelnut. * He studied the photograph. * Looks pretty good* he thought and began to flip to the shipping information page. He froze staring at the picture open in front of him. *Maybe Alec's hair was really nutshell. * He flipped to the next page. * No. It was acorn. He was positive. * He flipped the page again. *Maybe not exactly positive because ruddy straw looked pretty damn close. * Logan rested his head in his hands and massaged his throbbing temples. * There was only one way he could resolve this. * He finally decided. * He needed a sample. * Logan grabbed a pair of scissors from his drawer and grabbed his coat. The sound of an approaching motorcycle caused him to glance out the window. He saw Max and Alec kissing on her bike and he made a caveman growl deep in his throat. *He was going to get her back. But first he had to get rid of the evidence. * He picked up the dye catalogues and pictures of Alec and shoved them in a box, which he kicked behind his computer. The scissors felt warm in his hand. He would find the exact pigmentation of Alec's hair and duplicate it. Once that was finished he could move on to more important matters like the exact shade of Alec's eyes.
He was staring off into space when Max opened the door of his apartment.
"Logan?" She called. "Are you ok?"
Logan swivelled in his chair.
"I'm fine Max. I just have a couple of 3rd degree burns. Nothing serious."
Alec tried to hide his amusement at what was possibly the worst lie he had ever heard.
Max seemed to buy it though and her face softened with concern.
"What happened?" She asked.
"I very heroically saved 7 orphans and a kitten from a burning building. I tried so hard to save the goldfish but…" Logan's voice cracked with emotion. "It didn't make it."
"I'm so sorry Logan." Max said comfortingly. "I know hard it is when you can't get everyone out."
Logan nodded.
It was all too much for Alec.
"Give me a break!" He said. " I bet he just went and had a nose job and a face lift. I hear old rich people get those sometimes."
Max glared at him.
"Alec. Logan did a very brave thing. The least you could do is be nice to him."
Alec glanced guiltily away but not before Logan got a good look at them. *Definitely green. * He thought. Alec's eyes wandered to the window where he discovered Sumo pressed flat against the glass staring in at them. Max saw it too and exchanged a glance with Alec.
*Great! * Logan thought. * Now they are making puppy dog eyes at each other. As soon as I get this sample. I'm kicking Alec out and having a romantic evening with Max and wine and candlelig…* He gripped the scissors tightly in his hand.
"Is there anything we can do for you?" Max asked.
"Actually there is." Logan replied. "I have it on good authority that I may recover faster if I can isolate a specific transgenic regeneration property."
Alec and Max stared at him blankly.
"I need a piece of Alec's DNA. Preferably some of his hair." Logan simplified holding up the scissors.
"You want me to mess up my doo?" Alec asked incredulously. "For that sorry excuse for a lie no way. You wanted the surgery you suffer the pain buddy."
"Alec." Max said disapprovingly.
"Can't I just pee in a cup or something?" He asked.
"Hair is best." Logan said.
Alec pouted miserably until Max leaned in and whispered in his ear.
"I'll make it up to you later."
Alec grabbed the scissors and chopped out a chunk. Grinning he handed it to Logan and grabbing Max by the waist pulled her out of the apartment.
Once they were gone Logan quickly analysed the hair and decided that without a doubt it was Walnut. He picked up the phone and ordered the dye.