* * * *
Glory changed quickly and turned down the comforter on her bed, sliding between the sheets. Lucius had come into the room a few minutes earlier and had gone straight to their makeshift living room. He sat in the only chair and lit a fire with his wand, then closed his eyes. Glory wondered if he was planning on sleeping out there, but she convinced herself that she didn't care. If he wanted to sleep there, he could. It was his own fault for making her uncomfortable in the first place.
She pulled the comforter over her shoulders and laid her head down on the pillow, whispering a charm to put out the candles in the room. Lucius remained where he was, the crackling fire throwing shadows over the walls. Glory sighed, then closed her eyes and quickly drifted into a dream.
His eyes burned into hers, sharp and clear. They were filled with malice, hatred for her though she didn't know what she had ever done wrong. His eyes were grey, with threads of blue shattering the solid color. They were gorgeous eyes, the most beautiful she had ever seen, but she hated them more than anything. His fury always bubbled behind them, anger at whatever she had done to him.
He was so angry. Filled with rage and hatred for someone or something. She didn't know, didn't want to know. She thought part of it was her, her ability to keep part of him every time he hurt her, but she didn't know for sure. It was impossible to read anything in him past the anger, there was no apparent reason for anything he did, especially for the things he did to her.
As she tried to separate herself from the situation, his hand came down, slapping her face hard. Her cheek stung with the impact and her hands immediately went to the place he had hit her. His strong hand grabbed hers and pulled it away, placing it on his chest. She braced herself against him, hating him more than anything.
"Don't push me away," he hissed, his mouth coming down to whisper in her ear. He bit her ear lobe sharply and she whimpered as a bead of blood trickled from the wound. Before it could slip off her skin and soak into the thin bed sheet beneath her, his tongue was on her ear, gently licking the tiny wound. Another whimper escaped her mouth and she hated herself as well, hated knowing what he could do to her.
"Shut up," he hissed, his mouth travelling across her jawline. "Shut the hell up."
She obeyed him, pressing any further moans of despair down into her throat. He would haunt her forever, she knew that now as he pushed himself into her and pretended as if they were lovers and not bitter enemies. The memories of his invasion, his harsh words and his punches, followed by his soft whispers in her ear; all of it would follow her forever. She would never escape him.
"Lucius," the name escaped her before she realized what she was doing. She had never called him anything before, especially not his first name.
He glanced down at her, shocked that she would speak his name when he had just told her to shut up. He stopped moving and pressed his hands down on her wrists, studying the look in her eyes. They were angry and hurt and . . . lost? Was that what he was seeing? A lost little girl behind the eyes of a woman.
"Lucius, don't hurt me," she murmured.
Anger surged within him at her request. Who did she think she was to be telling him not to hurt her? He was about to raise his hand to hit her again, but stopped himself and continued to stare at her. Without know why, without any real reason, he nodded slowly and resumed his gentle rhythm.
It was a revelation in their relationship, as sick and twisted as it was. He didn't really want to hurt her, not all the time. He might have been evil, but part of him was still human. For the first time in many nights, she didn't completely hate his eyes when he looked down on her. She didn't close her own eyes and turn away when he met her gaze, but held it steady and watched the emotions battle under their surface.
"Lucius," she whispered, her mouth closing in on his . . .
"Glory!"
Her name shattered through her dream and she woke up with a start, finding herself staring into the same grey eyes she had just been dreaming about. She flushed deeply when she remembered the dream. She had been right, he would always haunt her, but slowly her mind was beginning to turn those awful memories into ones that weren't as bad.
"Are you all right?" he asked, touching her forehead lightly. "You were whimpering in your sleep and then you said my name and I thought . . ." he trailed off. "I thought you might have been remembering something."
Glory shook her head and sat up slowly. "I'm fine, Lucius. I just . . ." she trailed off as well and tried not to smile.
"What?" Lucius asked, trying to decipher the half smile on her face.
"Nothing."
"That smile is not nothing," he said, studying her. "What are you grinning about?"
"Just the dream," she said quickly, not realizing that once the words were out of her mouth Lucius might figure out exactly what she had been dreaming about.
"The dream?" he asked. "It sounded . . . painful."
"It was, at first," Glory said. "But it was nothing. You made a joke in the dream, that's all."
Lucius cocked an eyebrow. "I made a joke?"
"Yes, now leave me alone."
He remained where he was, perched on the side of the bed with a smile playing across his lips. "What kind of joke?"
Glory rolled her eyes. "A dirty joke."
His grin widened. "What joke?"
Glory glared at him hard. "That one about the, um, the rabbit and the . . . barmaid."
Lucius cocked his head to one side. "You know, I don't think I've heard that one. Remind me?"
"I hate you," Glory said, pushing him off the bed.
Lucius grinned again from the floor. "You do not. You liked my joke."
"That was dream-Lucius, not real-Lucius." She threw the covers over her head and buried her face in her pillow. "Dream-Lucius is much nicer too, I think I'll go back to him."
Lucius just smiled and stood up, then went around to his side of the bed and crawled under the blankets. Glory glared at him for a moment, then closed her eyes.
"I thought you wanted to sleep in front of the fire," she said.
"It's a little more comfortable in the bed," he replied, lying on his back and staring at the ceiling.
"Speak for yourself," Glory muttered.
"What are you talking about?" Lucius asked. "The bed is perfectly comfortable and-" he paused and glanced over to see Glory staring at him like he was a complete bonehead. "What?"
She just shook her head. "Never mind."
"No, I want to know. Do I make you uncomfortable?"
Glory frowned. "A little bit."
"Why? Is it because of . . . everything?"
"No, Lucius, don't worry about it. It's my problem."
"It's not just your problem," he said. "You're my responsibility. I have to keep you safe and that means you have to talk to me."
Glory sat up again. "I have to talk to you, but you don't have to talk to me? I don't really think that's a fair deal."
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"You're hiding something from me," she said. "You always have a reason to be with me, you look at me as though I'm your dead wife and you never raise your voice to me. Never."
"And that's a bad thing?"
"I know you, Lucius," Glory said. "Like it or not I know you really well. You can't spend a year of your life being raped by a man and not get to know him a little bit."
Lucius winced and Glory sighed.
"I'm sorry. I don't meant it to hurt you, but you have to see where I'm coming from. I know you and I know that you're hiding something from me." Glory sighed and shifted uncomfortably. "Talk to me, please."
"I can't," he said tightly.
Glory shut her eyes and leaned against the ornate headboard behind her. "Not even if I say please?"
"It won't do any good for me to say anything," Lucius said. "If anything, it will make things worse."
"Worse?" Glory asked in bewilderment. "How could things possibly be any worse? Lord Voldemort is after me, I think that's about as bad as things get."
"I mean here. It will make things worse here."
"Here? At Hogwarts?" Glory sighed. "Let's see. I'm at Hogwarts for protection, teaching a class even though I'm not qualified to be teaching anything, fearing for my life, living with a man who won't talk to me and having to deal with his constant fighting with another man who's looking out for me. Both of whom used to be Death Eaters and could easily be lying to me and could turn me over to Voldemort in a second! I'm not sure who to trust, who to turn you and who to listen you. The only man I trust with my life is the only one who won't talk to me! Things look pretty bad from where I'm sitting, I some how doubt you could make them any worse." Glory drew in a deep breath from her outburst and tried to start again.
"Fine," Lucius said sharply, interrupting her. "So, I can't make things any worse. You're sure of that?"
She nodded, her eyes narrowed. "Pretty damn sure, Lucius."
"Then if I were to kiss you right now it wouldn't bother you?"
"No, I'd be fine with -- what?"
Instead of answering, Lucius moved toward her and pressed his lips against hers. Glory flinched as if she'd been slapped, but didn't pull away when his fingers gently brushed over her cheek. They travelled over the old scar tissue and tangled in her hair, pulling the strands through his fingers and over his hand. She relaxed slowly as his gentle touch and let his hand move through her hair to the back of her neck.
His hand spread over the nape of her neck, pressing her closer to him and she finally responded to his mouth. Slowly, tentatively her lips softened, allowing him to kiss her again. His mouth was warm and his lips were quivering uncertainly even as he pressed on. He was just as scared as she was, his fingertips trembled against her neck and Glory put a steadying hand on his arm.
Lucius broke the kiss and stared at her. "I'm sorry."
"That wasn't to make you stop," she murmured.
"It . . . oh."
"Don't be so scared," she said.
"You cringed when I kissed you," he said softly.
"You startled me," she said, then put her hand over his. "Stop thinking, Lucius."
He studied her for a long moment, then did what she suggested and he stopped thinking. He was drawn toward her again, the kiss gentle and new altogether. He had never kissed her like that, never with such innocence. He never thought that at thirty seven he would find a mere kiss to be so intimate and perfect.
Glory's hands were on his arms, gripping them tightly as he kissed her, his own hands once more tangled in her hair. It was like being a teenager again, experiencing everything for the first time with his first love. The feeling of her hands on his biceps sent a shiver down his spine and goose bumps broke out on his arms. She moved willingly when he leaned over her, pressing her back down against the pillows in their bed. Their kiss was still innocent, lips and tongues moving uncertainly across their mouths, but his trembling hands sought more than the feeling of her soft hair.
His fingers travelled down her arm and across her hip, dancing down her leg as Glory explored the length of his back with her hands. His legs were entwined her hers and the kiss became more needy, more passionate as their bodies pressed together.
Lucius broke away once again. "We've been here before," he said, staring down at her.
Glory smiled gently at him, reaching for his hand. "Not like this."
"I hurt you," he murmured, trying to move away.
Glory grabbed his chin and forced him to look at her. "So make it up to me."
Lucius studied her for a long moment, then smiled back and leaned down once more to claim her mouth with his own.
* * * *
Glory changed quickly and turned down the comforter on her bed, sliding between the sheets. Lucius had come into the room a few minutes earlier and had gone straight to their makeshift living room. He sat in the only chair and lit a fire with his wand, then closed his eyes. Glory wondered if he was planning on sleeping out there, but she convinced herself that she didn't care. If he wanted to sleep there, he could. It was his own fault for making her uncomfortable in the first place.
She pulled the comforter over her shoulders and laid her head down on the pillow, whispering a charm to put out the candles in the room. Lucius remained where he was, the crackling fire throwing shadows over the walls. Glory sighed, then closed her eyes and quickly drifted into a dream.
His eyes burned into hers, sharp and clear. They were filled with malice, hatred for her though she didn't know what she had ever done wrong. His eyes were grey, with threads of blue shattering the solid color. They were gorgeous eyes, the most beautiful she had ever seen, but she hated them more than anything. His fury always bubbled behind them, anger at whatever she had done to him.
He was so angry. Filled with rage and hatred for someone or something. She didn't know, didn't want to know. She thought part of it was her, her ability to keep part of him every time he hurt her, but she didn't know for sure. It was impossible to read anything in him past the anger, there was no apparent reason for anything he did, especially for the things he did to her.
As she tried to separate herself from the situation, his hand came down, slapping her face hard. Her cheek stung with the impact and her hands immediately went to the place he had hit her. His strong hand grabbed hers and pulled it away, placing it on his chest. She braced herself against him, hating him more than anything.
"Don't push me away," he hissed, his mouth coming down to whisper in her ear. He bit her ear lobe sharply and she whimpered as a bead of blood trickled from the wound. Before it could slip off her skin and soak into the thin bed sheet beneath her, his tongue was on her ear, gently licking the tiny wound. Another whimper escaped her mouth and she hated herself as well, hated knowing what he could do to her.
"Shut up," he hissed, his mouth travelling across her jawline. "Shut the hell up."
She obeyed him, pressing any further moans of despair down into her throat. He would haunt her forever, she knew that now as he pushed himself into her and pretended as if they were lovers and not bitter enemies. The memories of his invasion, his harsh words and his punches, followed by his soft whispers in her ear; all of it would follow her forever. She would never escape him.
"Lucius," the name escaped her before she realized what she was doing. She had never called him anything before, especially not his first name.
He glanced down at her, shocked that she would speak his name when he had just told her to shut up. He stopped moving and pressed his hands down on her wrists, studying the look in her eyes. They were angry and hurt and . . . lost? Was that what he was seeing? A lost little girl behind the eyes of a woman.
"Lucius, don't hurt me," she murmured.
Anger surged within him at her request. Who did she think she was to be telling him not to hurt her? He was about to raise his hand to hit her again, but stopped himself and continued to stare at her. Without know why, without any real reason, he nodded slowly and resumed his gentle rhythm.
It was a revelation in their relationship, as sick and twisted as it was. He didn't really want to hurt her, not all the time. He might have been evil, but part of him was still human. For the first time in many nights, she didn't completely hate his eyes when he looked down on her. She didn't close her own eyes and turn away when he met her gaze, but held it steady and watched the emotions battle under their surface.
"Lucius," she whispered, her mouth closing in on his . . .
"Glory!"
Her name shattered through her dream and she woke up with a start, finding herself staring into the same grey eyes she had just been dreaming about. She flushed deeply when she remembered the dream. She had been right, he would always haunt her, but slowly her mind was beginning to turn those awful memories into ones that weren't as bad.
"Are you all right?" he asked, touching her forehead lightly. "You were whimpering in your sleep and then you said my name and I thought . . ." he trailed off. "I thought you might have been remembering something."
Glory shook her head and sat up slowly. "I'm fine, Lucius. I just . . ." she trailed off as well and tried not to smile.
"What?" Lucius asked, trying to decipher the half smile on her face.
"Nothing."
"That smile is not nothing," he said, studying her. "What are you grinning about?"
"Just the dream," she said quickly, not realizing that once the words were out of her mouth Lucius might figure out exactly what she had been dreaming about.
"The dream?" he asked. "It sounded . . . painful."
"It was, at first," Glory said. "But it was nothing. You made a joke in the dream, that's all."
Lucius cocked an eyebrow. "I made a joke?"
"Yes, now leave me alone."
He remained where he was, perched on the side of the bed with a smile playing across his lips. "What kind of joke?"
Glory rolled her eyes. "A dirty joke."
His grin widened. "What joke?"
Glory glared at him hard. "That one about the, um, the rabbit and the . . . barmaid."
Lucius cocked his head to one side. "You know, I don't think I've heard that one. Remind me?"
"I hate you," Glory said, pushing him off the bed.
Lucius grinned again from the floor. "You do not. You liked my joke."
"That was dream-Lucius, not real-Lucius." She threw the covers over her head and buried her face in her pillow. "Dream-Lucius is much nicer too, I think I'll go back to him."
Lucius just smiled and stood up, then went around to his side of the bed and crawled under the blankets. Glory glared at him for a moment, then closed her eyes.
"I thought you wanted to sleep in front of the fire," she said.
"It's a little more comfortable in the bed," he replied, lying on his back and staring at the ceiling.
"Speak for yourself," Glory muttered.
"What are you talking about?" Lucius asked. "The bed is perfectly comfortable and-" he paused and glanced over to see Glory staring at him like he was a complete bonehead. "What?"
She just shook her head. "Never mind."
"No, I want to know. Do I make you uncomfortable?"
Glory frowned. "A little bit."
"Why? Is it because of . . . everything?"
"No, Lucius, don't worry about it. It's my problem."
"It's not just your problem," he said. "You're my responsibility. I have to keep you safe and that means you have to talk to me."
Glory sat up again. "I have to talk to you, but you don't have to talk to me? I don't really think that's a fair deal."
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"You're hiding something from me," she said. "You always have a reason to be with me, you look at me as though I'm your dead wife and you never raise your voice to me. Never."
"And that's a bad thing?"
"I know you, Lucius," Glory said. "Like it or not I know you really well. You can't spend a year of your life being raped by a man and not get to know him a little bit."
Lucius winced and Glory sighed.
"I'm sorry. I don't meant it to hurt you, but you have to see where I'm coming from. I know you and I know that you're hiding something from me." Glory sighed and shifted uncomfortably. "Talk to me, please."
"I can't," he said tightly.
Glory shut her eyes and leaned against the ornate headboard behind her. "Not even if I say please?"
"It won't do any good for me to say anything," Lucius said. "If anything, it will make things worse."
"Worse?" Glory asked in bewilderment. "How could things possibly be any worse? Lord Voldemort is after me, I think that's about as bad as things get."
"I mean here. It will make things worse here."
"Here? At Hogwarts?" Glory sighed. "Let's see. I'm at Hogwarts for protection, teaching a class even though I'm not qualified to be teaching anything, fearing for my life, living with a man who won't talk to me and having to deal with his constant fighting with another man who's looking out for me. Both of whom used to be Death Eaters and could easily be lying to me and could turn me over to Voldemort in a second! I'm not sure who to trust, who to turn you and who to listen you. The only man I trust with my life is the only one who won't talk to me! Things look pretty bad from where I'm sitting, I some how doubt you could make them any worse." Glory drew in a deep breath from her outburst and tried to start again.
"Fine," Lucius said sharply, interrupting her. "So, I can't make things any worse. You're sure of that?"
She nodded, her eyes narrowed. "Pretty damn sure, Lucius."
"Then if I were to kiss you right now it wouldn't bother you?"
"No, I'd be fine with -- what?"
Instead of answering, Lucius moved toward her and pressed his lips against hers. Glory flinched as if she'd been slapped, but didn't pull away when his fingers gently brushed over her cheek. They travelled over the old scar tissue and tangled in her hair, pulling the strands through his fingers and over his hand. She relaxed slowly as his gentle touch and let his hand move through her hair to the back of her neck.
His hand spread over the nape of her neck, pressing her closer to him and she finally responded to his mouth. Slowly, tentatively her lips softened, allowing him to kiss her again. His mouth was warm and his lips were quivering uncertainly even as he pressed on. He was just as scared as she was, his fingertips trembled against her neck and Glory put a steadying hand on his arm.
Lucius broke the kiss and stared at her. "I'm sorry."
"That wasn't to make you stop," she murmured.
"It . . . oh."
"Don't be so scared," she said.
"You cringed when I kissed you," he said softly.
"You startled me," she said, then put her hand over his. "Stop thinking, Lucius."
He studied her for a long moment, then did what she suggested and he stopped thinking. He was drawn toward her again, the kiss gentle and new altogether. He had never kissed her like that, never with such innocence. He never thought that at thirty seven he would find a mere kiss to be so intimate and perfect.
Glory's hands were on his arms, gripping them tightly as he kissed her, his own hands once more tangled in her hair. It was like being a teenager again, experiencing everything for the first time with his first love. The feeling of her hands on his biceps sent a shiver down his spine and goose bumps broke out on his arms. She moved willingly when he leaned over her, pressing her back down against the pillows in their bed. Their kiss was still innocent, lips and tongues moving uncertainly across their mouths, but his trembling hands sought more than the feeling of her soft hair.
His fingers travelled down her arm and across her hip, dancing down her leg as Glory explored the length of his back with her hands. His legs were entwined her hers and the kiss became more needy, more passionate as their bodies pressed together.
Lucius broke away once again. "We've been here before," he said, staring down at her.
Glory smiled gently at him, reaching for his hand. "Not like this."
"I hurt you," he murmured, trying to move away.
Glory grabbed his chin and forced him to look at her. "So make it up to me."
Lucius studied her for a long moment, then smiled back and leaned down once more to claim her mouth with his own.
* * * *