CHAPTER 8—BURIED SECRETS
Very early the next morning, Donovan entered the Nest and heard the surprising sound of his brother's voice. Confused, he didn't understand why in the hell Farron had decided to show his face. As far as he knew, he had no reason to be there at all. As he entered the depths of the room, he watched curiously as Farron and Alex spoke in hushed tones as if they were sharing some wondrous secret. He watched the two of them for an undetermined amount of time. Did his brother have something going with Alex? The thought annoyed him more than angered him. After all, he had little control over Alex, and even less over Farron. Seeing the two of them together made him think of Loralei. He hadn't heard from her since yesterday. He was certain that she wouldn't call again while he was there. He sighed deeply, almost sadly, and made his presence known to his brother and the female agent. The two of them glanced at Donovan in surprise. His face was blank and expressionless. Neither of them could read him. Their expressions gave away a clear thought: caught in the act. If he hadn't felt so upset this morning, he might have laughed.
Farron broke away from Alex and approached his twin. "Good morning, dear brother, I didn't expect you in so early."
Almost sedately, he nodded. "That's obvious." He tried to move past Farron and make his way upstairs, but the other man grabbed onto his forearm and pulled him back. Donovan fixed his eyes on his brother and took his arm out of Farron's grasp. "Whatever is it, Farron, I'm not interested."
"Call your wife, Frank. I'm sure she'd like to hear from you."
Donovan fixed an incredulous look on Farron's face before settling his dark eyes on Alex's face. "What the hell? How many other people are going to offer unwanted, unneeded advice? How many people don't know about my fucking marital problems? Do yourselves a favor; keep your noses out of my marriage. This has nothing to do with either of you." He stalked away angrily and took the stairs two at a time. His office door slammed shut behind him.
"You're here again," Jake said incredulously as he entered the room. "What are you? A wannabe agent," he asked. "I don't think they allow men with your history into the academy. Sorry, man, I think you should hit the streets and get back to what you know."
"Tu estúpido pincha," Farron spat. ["You stupid prick."] "Your sarcasm is duly noted, but not necessary."
Jake snarled at the other man and looked him up and down, as if trying to decide what to punch first. "Look in the fucking mirror, and you'll see who the real stupid prick is."
"Would you guys stop bickering," Alex spat, annoyed. "Donovan is upstairs, and if you make him come down, he'll probably beat the both of you senseless."
"¿Tu la quiere, hace no tu?" ["You want her, don't you?"] He laughed a little. "Why didn't I ever notice that before? Have I disrupted something?"
"Voy a joder lo mata," he said through clenched teeth, his eyes closed to narrow slits. ["I'm going to fucking kill you."]
"What the hell is going on down there," Donovan roared from upstairs. He had heard the shouting from inside the enclosed sanctuary of his office. "Jake, get to your case load, now. Farron, get the fuck out of here. It's not my business who you date. In fact, I could care less, but I don't want you to show your face here unless you have official business to discuss. I cannot stop you two from killing each other, if that's your desire. However, you will not do it here. Do you both fucking understand?" Without waiting for either man to answer him, he stalked back into his office and slammed the door behind him.
Farron gave Jake one final, smirking look before he left. God I hate that fucker, Jake thought in his wake. Almost sullen, he whipped around and turned away from Alex. Suddenly, he couldn't look at her.
Standing back with her arms crossed over her chest, Alex stood back and assessed Jake. What the hell is he doing, she wondered. She had understood every word passed amongst the two men. Why would Farron assume that Jake wanted her? The thought was completely out of left field. Yet, if it had been any man other than Jake, she might have thought he was jealous. But not Jake, she thought. Jealous? Couldn't be. No way. Although certain that jealousy was not Jake's issue with Farron, there had to be something.
Alex approached Jake and tapped his shoulder. He didn't move, breathe, or grunt. "Hey," she said. "What is going on here? I know you don't get along with Farron, but what's with this territorial shit, Jake? I've never seen you like this before."
Jake sighed angrily. He turned to face her, and she noticed that the look on his face was one of anger and confusion. It was a bit unsettling. "I don't get it, Alex, that's all. You know the guy's history, what he did, and what he is. How can you be blind enough to date him? I just don't understand. He isn't good enough for you."
She shook her head. "Are you taking lessons from Donovan? There are a few things I may be, but none of them is blind. I'm well aware of his entire history. I was there. Remember? Damn it, it's not like I'm going to marry the guy."
"I don't think you should date him," he said. And what is the big deal? Do I want her? No, I cannot go there. "Out of all the men floating around, you choose this pretty boy drug dealer."
"Look," she said as she tried to keep her temper in check, "It's none of your business, and I would appreciate it if you wouldn't try to lecture me about my taste in men. We're friends, Jake, and if you want to stay my friend, butt out." She turned and walked away.
"Shit," he spat. This is crazy, this is utterly, utterly mad.
* * *
Ugh. Chance Casey had just gotten off the phone with Agent Kadin. God, he hated speaking to her on the phone, hated seeing her even more. However, he was forced to make nice with her in order to keep her on his team. She had a couple more days at Quantico before she would return to Chicago to take over Jackson's case. There were a few things she didn't need to know yet, but he was certain she'd dig up his secrets sooner or later. He hoped that she would be out of his hair by then. If not, she could always have an accident. Accidents in the field happened all the time. Oops. Stray bullet. I'm so sorry about your wife, Frank. She was a good agent. He laughed a little. There was no way he would be able to say that with a straight face. Therefore, Kadin's disappearance would have to be special. Perhaps hers could mirror Jackson's. Ah yes. MIA. It just might work. Once Kadin had begun digging into the case files and the computer, she would run across some little something that would point all fingers his way. It was how Jackson found out. Kadin was the only other liability. Having her dragged back into the fold had been a piece of sheer brilliance. Yet, Jackson didn't have the benefit of a persistent, if not nosy, spouse. If Kadin disappeared, Frank Donovan would fly into his office on a mission of vengeance. Not only that, but he also had his own computer whiz in his midst. How long would it take the guy to uncover his secrets? Five minutes? Ten? No good. No good. He simply couldn't allow Kadin to disappear. Even though it would be a bit messier, she would have to be KIA [killed in action]. However, it just might keep Frank Donovan and his team off his back. By the time Kadin's grieving husband recovered, he would be long gone, with his new identity. Two more weeks, he thought, it's all I need to clean the plate and escape.
* * *
Loralei was drifting again. She sat before her 'supercomputer' in the regional office. She was Loralei Kadin again, part of the ICD. Frustrated, she had been trying to hack into a taboo site, but wasn't having any luck. How long had she sat there breaking tons of code? She knew it was long enough to have developed a major headache. Loralei knew she needed to take a break, but Casey was barking orders at her. She was not to leave the computer until she broke the code. If she couldn't break it, she would never leave. Persistence had never been one of her issues and she was never one to give up easily. Yet, this was one tough ass code. Whoever owned this site knew what he was doing. She always thought of the site owners as male. Loralei knew that thought was horridly off kilter, but she couldn't help it. Even though she had busted two women already, she didn't see this as a crime perpetrated by females. Each time she hit a brick wall, she cursed under her breath. 'Stupid fucker' was her personal favorite expression. She tried to zone Casey's demanding voice out of her ear, but it was no use. He sat back all comfy in a surveillance van filled with agents hungry to bust the sick fuck responsible for a strain of kiddy snuff flicks. She hated those worse than the pornography cases. Frustrated now more than ever, she had one more trick up her sleeve. If this one failed, she would have to give up. She typed in a stream of code and pressed 'enter.' The screen began dancing in wondrous delight. Finally. She had done it. She had broken the fucker before it broke her. However, her joy was short-lived. Her screen went black before coming back, and an awful bomb icon appeared, seemingly growing larger and larger by the second. Goddamn. The site was booby-trapped. She buried her face in her hands as the host site implanted her supercomputer with a malicious virus. She looked up when she heard the laughter of a child. On her screen, there was a hideous picture of a little girl in full makeup. Her jaw came unhinged as she giggled manically. Neener neener neener, the image screamed in delight. Tell me you didn't just kill the computer, Casey's voice piped up in her ear. Of course, it could be fixed easily. She quickly hit F6 on her keyboard. For the supercomputer, F6 was the 'kill' key. She had programmed it to delete every file on the hard drive. Later, she would reboot the computer and reinstall the entire system, and choose another key to 'kill' it again if necessary.
Much later, Agent Kadin had worked tirelessly to restore the supercomputer. Without her baby, she was nothing. This puppy could almost walk and talk. If she kept playing with it, she was sure to have to buy it shoes next Christmas. She had heard Casey storm from the elevator toward his swank office. You've done it again, kiddo, she thought. Of course, Casey wouldn't stay angry for long. Although she had harmed her baby numerous times, she had never managed to completely kill it. When she heard Casey scream out her name, she sighed and pushed away from the computer. It was time for another supreme bitching. She tromped to his office and stood before his desk, her chin lifted defiantly [a stance her future husband would see many, many times] as he began ranking her out. He demanded that she come look at the mess she made. Apparently, it wasn't just her baby that had gotten messed up. The virus had killed one of Casey's systems as well. Odd. Why would that happen? Casey had two computers. One was strictly for files. The other was for email and interdepartmental correspondence. The only sick machine was the standard one. How had that one gotten infected and not the other? Kadin spent a good two hours hovered over Casey's shoulder as she assisted him with the repair of his machine. She offered to set him up with a 'kill' program if it ever happened again.
By the time his machine was restored, Casey had calmed down significantly. Of course, he didn't say thanks, fuck you, or happy birthday. Instead, he stared up at her with a funky look in his eyes. He had looked at her in every way imaginable, but not like this. She couldn't even describe it. It was just…weird. She was just about to back away from him when he grabbed her thigh beneath her skirt. He had mumbled something like 'not so damn fast' and dragged her back. His hand traveled further up between her thighs as a lascivious smile framed his lips. She hooked her fingernails into his arm and yanked it off her. Her action didn't dissuade Casey at all. He stood to face her and he grasped her upper arm tightly.
"Come on, Kadin, I've seen you watching me. It's okay, I want to fuck you, too," he said with a smile.
"Fuck you," she spat incredulously. "I'd turn to a woman before I'd fuck you."
He began to shove her body backward forcefully. She gasped aloud as her back hit the wall. His free hand wondered up and grasped one of her breasts, squeezing it hard and painfully. "Kadin, don't be that way. I know something is up. Otherwise, why would you stay in here all hours of the night close to me?"
"I'm working, you stupid fuck," she spat through clenched teeth. "If you don't let me go, I'm going to bust your balls."
He forced her thighs apart with his knee. "I'd like to see you try. You're pretty helpless right now, aren't you?"
She spat in his face and he backed away just enough for his knee to move. She brought her own knee up and hit him squarely between his thighs. As he howled in pain, she brought two fists up and smashed them down on the back of his neck. "Touch me again and I'll make you eat your vile little penis," she shouted.
* * *
In her conscious mind, Loralei moaned. That incident had been the only one of its kind, and was completely traumatic. She didn't return to work for two days, claiming that she had a stomach virus. She had effectively blocked out the event, and it only haunted her very rarely in her dreams. The only time the attack made any effort to resurface was when she put in for transfers. She found her director distasteful, and tried everything in her power to get away from him. However, she wasn't consciously aware of her motivation. Agent Kadin was very good at blocking out emotionally devastating events. That ability was the only thing that had kept her sane working in ICD.
Loralei jarred herself awake. She sat straight up on the hard as nails cot. For some crazy reason, her right breast was aching as if someone had squeezed it. What the fuck? She had to stay here only forty-eight more hours, and then she could return briefly to Chicago. She intended to snuggle her baby the entire time she was home. When her breathing finally calmed down, she glanced at the lighted dial on her wristwatch. She groaned a little and slammed her body back down on the bed. Rachel. It was time for a feeding. She could almost hear her baby girl crying. She turned her face and sobbed quietly into the rock hard pillow. After a few moments, the sobs that had overcome her had dried up to sniffles. When thoughts of her husband entered her mind, her sobs came crashing back, wracking her body. Stop it, you big crybaby. Stop it. I haven't cried this damn much since I was pregnant. It hurt so badly thinking of Donovan, because she wasn't so sure she could talk to him, wasn't so sure he would even want to talk to her.
* * *
Donovan had heard Rachel's cry before his mother in-law turned over twice. He seriously considered sending her back to Missouri. He honestly didn't want her here, didn't need her. It wasn't that he disliked Geneva Kadin or thought she was a busybody [which she was], but her hair and eyes were the same color as Loralei's, and he couldn't stand looking at it. It brought him immense pain, followed quickly by self-defeating anger. He was so very tempted to book a flight to Quantico and go after her. He couldn't. Actually, he had no idea what he was going to do. No matter how much he loved her, missed her, when he spoke to her, he couldn't stop something stupid from flowing out of his mouth. It was hurt and overwhelming shock, the needling sense of betrayal that had begun to eat away at him. He felt almost the same as he did when he first learned that Loralei was an agent. It was the same kind of kick in the teeth. Sighing heavily, he went to his daughter.
* * *
A couple of days later, a heavy tense fog hung in the Nest. Jake and Alex were angry at each other, Donovan was angry at the world, and Cody and Monica were clueless. While waiting for instructions on a new case, Alex's cell phone rang. She cursed [shit] at the intrusion and then quickly took the phone out of her jacket pocket. She glanced down at the screen and her jaw dropped when she recognized the number. Uh uh. Couldn't be. She slipped away from the other agents and quickly hit the 'send' button before her voice mail kicked on.
"Loralei," Alex said quietly into the phone. "Are you calling from home?" In the background, she could hear gurgling noises. Rachel. Duh. Of course she's home.
"Yes. I got here a couple of hours ago. Been playing serious catch up with Rachel. I'm due in Director Casey's office by noon."
Alex couldn't help but smile a little. Loralei was crafty, but also quite transparent. She didn't want to call her husband directly, but she found another way of dropping a slight hint that she was home. She had to know Alex would eventually tell him. She didn't make it a habit to interfere, but she hated the fact that their marriage appeared to be falling apart at the seams. "Do you want to talk to Donovan?"
There was a slight catch in Loralei's throat. "No," she said not so convincingly. "We didn't exactly part on great terms. I think the less I see of him right now, the better it will be. When this is done, we'll talk. I can't…can't…fuck it. Don't tell him I'm here."
Alex heard: Please tell him I'm here. "Loralei? Are you sure? You've got to know that this is killing him, don't you?"
"Yes," she said, her voice hitching now. "I won't cry," she said stubbornly. "It's not been exactly a picnic for me, either. We've each said some shitty things, and I can't face him. I just can't. I gotta go."
Sighing, Alex hit 'send' and disconnected the call. She slipped her phone back into her jacket pocket and nearly smacked into a wall that was over six feet of pissed off man. "Hiya, Boss," she said innocently as she stepped back from that solid wall.
If he hadn't been coming down to bark petulant orders at Cody, he never would have heard Alex whispering Loralei's name. He had supersensitive hearing, especially when it came to his wife and daughter. "Where is she," he demanded.
She had intended all along to break her friend's confidence just to get their stubborn asses back on the same page, but when confronted with Donovan's steely gaze, she wasn't so sure she could do it now. "Which she," she asked innocently.
He sighed and ran his hand impatiently through his hair. "Alex, please. I know you were talking to Loralei. I heard her name. Tell me where she is. I know she didn't just call you from Quantico."
Alex sighed unhappily and shifted from foot-to-foot as if she were a child who needed to go potty. "Okay. She's home with the baby, but you'd better hurry. She's leaving for a meeting at noon, and she probably won't be coming home tonight."
Donovan closed his eyes for a very brief moment and sighed in relief. "Thank you."
Loralei was just throwing her bags into the backseat as she heard a car screeching around a corner from the floor below. Her heart began to pound sickly in her chest. Frank, she thought inherently. She quickly climbed behind the wheel, slammed her door, and jammed the key into the ignition. As hurriedly as she was making her escape, she was afraid she might flood the car. Thank God she didn't. It roared beautifully to life. She threw it into reverse and whipped it out of its space as she saw Donovan's car whirling around the bend. He was heading straight toward her. He had tried to swing in quickly enough to block the exit, but he was a few seconds too late. She managed to slip past him, her foot likely flooring the accelerator. In the few brief moments before she passed him, he had fixed his eyes on her seemingly pale face. Although he wasn't completely certain, he thought he had seen her mouthing something similar to 'I love you, I'm sorry.' He put the car in reverse, considered tailing her, but thought better of it. He slammed his foot on the brakes and put the car in park. Defeated for the time being, he drove his fist into the steering wheel and leaned back in the seat. He had taken all he could stand. Something had to be done, and done today. What he had planned might forever isolate Loralei, might even cause a swift end to his marriage, but it was a risk he was willing to take. He could no longer sit back and do nothing.