CHAPTER 12—A SECRET AMONG LOVERS
Loralei needed a break after her fit of hysterics. It took a bit longer than she expected to calm down. A sliver of ice had entered her heart, and she was solely focused on squashing Chance Casey. How had a man with his history become so powerful? It boggled the mind. She wondered if he had any friends or relatives that could have 'sweetened' his record. She knew from experience that Casey had a couple of 'friends' affiliated with the CIA. Perhaps one of them was his partner in slime. Once her stomach decided to unknot itself, she felt somewhat better. She stood before the bathroom sink and splashed her face repeatedly. Jesus, didn't I just do this like yesterday? Although worried, Donovan didn't hover over her. She wouldn't let him. When her wits returned, she sent him away, not maliciously, but she made it clear that she would be all right. Inherently, he knew something had touched her beyond the hideous image on the computer screen, but he wouldn't push. She would tell him if he remained patient and gave her room to breathe. He backed off and went back where the other agents waited. Every now and then, he caught himself glancing back. He was worried and fretted almost as much as his wife.
Donovan looked up as Loralei came out the bedroom. She met his gaze and basically told him she was okay in one little glance. His brow came up and his eyes asked, 'want to talk about it?' 'Maybe later,' hers communicated back. Neither Donovan nor Loralei gave the other agents any hint as to the identity of the child's face on the woman's body, but it wasn't necessary to blatantly identify the owner of the site. Loralei's reaction had been enough for them all. The tricky part was getting Casey to admit it, but Loralei had formulated her own plan as she prayed before Le Temple de Toilette [the temple of toilet]. Later tonight, she intended to share her plan with the others, but first, she would have to talk to Donovan. Neither their original plan nor their contingent would work now. Capturing Casey would take some trickery and a damn good wire. She watched silently, mulling over her plan, as Cody began making backup copies of the website. Casey had it booby trapped, of course, but Cody was smarter than every agent in this room combined.
"Meeting at eight tonight," Loralei announced suddenly. "It's time to gather the slime and sink him into the ground." She went to Bey and LaKonte. "Whatever you do, don't see Casey alone. If he calls you and asks, tell him Fielder wants you to work overtime. Tell him anything you want, just don't go." She then turned toward Donovan and took his arm, giving it a gentle squeeze. "I need to talk to you alone," she said low enough for only him to hear. "We can't do it here. Find a place, preferably public where I won't arouse Casey's suspicion, and call me from your cell. I'll be here." Without another word to him, she pulled away and banged on Fielder's door.
* * *
Loralei had been wise when she advised Donovan to find a place where Casey wouldn't suspect her of going to him. Casey was watching her every move. He had commandeered a surveillance van and used its equipment to aid him. From the van, he watched as Kadin [Donovan] left the hotel. He was determined to find out if she was going home to her husband. If he even suspected she was headed toward home, he would take her out right then and there. He wouldn't wait. He was too close to victory to give up now. He carefully examined her style of dress. It was casual. She had rid herself of the blue suit and donned blue jeans and a dark sweater that seemed a little big on her. How sweet, she's wearing one of her hubby's sweaters. Bitch. He was so tempted to jump out and abduct her. He was tired and wanted the game to end. He had a long life of secluded retirement to begin.
Although it seemed as if she were oblivious, she wasn't. She saw the nondescript van parked a few blocks down from the hotel. The outside was white and there was a logo for a dry cleaner painted on the side. However, she wasn't stupid. She knew that Casey lurked inside. Did he really think that she was dumb enough to believe the van was truly what it represented? She didn't have as much experience as some agents, but she had enough to know when someone was following her. She was glad she had set up her visit with Donovan the way she had. If she had asked him to meet her somewhere in the hotel, Casey would surely have seen him. She remained cautious, but also didn't try to look back purposely. She continued to stroll casually down the sidewalk as if she had decided to window shop.
Casey kept close watch while Kadin [Donovan] stopped every few feet to peer into a window here and there. What is the bitch doing? Window shopping? What a stupid, stupid woman. Marriage had softened her quite a bit. Before she married the prick, she had been a bit of a tomboy, but now she was the typical run-of-the-mill housewife. Oh well. It didn't matter that much to him anymore. He wasn't as attracted to her as he once was. She was a lot hotter back in the day, fiery even. What is she doing? His mouth gaped open as she slipped inside a store. It was a maternity shop. God don't tell me she's knocked up again. She's popping out kids like some type of haggard pussycat. He couldn't lose her now. Carefully, he left the van and began to follow the path she had just walked.
Loralei ducked into the store only long enough to pass out the back exit. She had planned the pit stop about an hour ago. She had even called the store and asked if they'd mind if she used their employee exit. After all, she was a federal agent conducting an investigation. The owners had been more than happy to oblige. She slipped out the employee exit and ran into an alley. She dashed around the corner and moved toward her true destination.
Goddamn it. Casey had lost her somehow. Why did I even leave the fucking van? Where did the bitch go? He ran around the maternity shop crazily while the workers glanced at him nervously. He had flashed a badge similar to the one the woman had flashed when she ran inside moments before he entered. However, this fellow seemed different somehow, shakier. When he demanded to know where the woman went, the workers played dumb. What woman? If he had had a semi-automatic on him, he would have taken out the entire store. But no, oh no. He had walked right out of the van without grabbing even the wimpiest of weapons. He had no clue where Kadin [ew…Donovan] had gone. There were dozens of businesses on this block alone. She could have gone anywhere. She may have even had a car waiting somewhere. Oh that bitch, that cunt. When I kill her, I'm going to make her suffer.
Donovan looked up as Loralei entered the room. Amused, he noticed that she had dressed herself in one of his sweaters that was way too long for her. She had twisted up her hair with a large clip. A twig stood up at the top and bounced crazily as she walked toward him. Wasn't that the clip she had last night? I thought I broke it. He wondered how she had managed to get here without garnering Casey's attention. Surely he had been watching her. Any FBI agent worth his salt would have, even crooked ones. She pulled out a chair and sat down heavily.
"He followed me, but I lost him," she said suddenly, breathlessly, as she reached for the glass of water sitting before her. "I ducked into a maternity shop and ran out the back door. I'm certain he went to the store."
"A maternity shop? Damn it, Loralei, you're lucky he didn't find you."
"Yup, a maternity shop. I can just imagine what he was thinking when he saw me go inside. He tried to be careful, but I knew where he was the moment I left the hotel. I think we'll be safe here for a while. Casey isn't much on stick-to-itiveness. He probably went home to cower under his porn drenched computer desk," she said bitterly. Her slight amusement at evading Casey quickly faded when she remembered the task at hand. She was so good at hiding things. I thought those days were over, she thought sadly. Sighing, she took another sip of water. "There are a couple of things I need to tell you before I go over my grand plan. There is a history behind that hideous portrait on his website, and I want to tell you, because until I saw it, I had forgotten what happened."
He could plainly see that she was troubled, and he hated it. She had gone through so much anguish in the last couple of weeks, and yet there appeared to be even more. Donovan reached across the table and took her hands in his. Up until then, they were clasped tightly on the table. "I know it was something very bad, I could see it. What is it? What did he do?"
"I was a hacker for the ICD. My main job was the same shit I've been doing all week. I broke into a site that implanted a weird virus into my machine. It basically made me kill the whole system. Casey came in, chewing me out as usual, and he went into his office. Again, he was cursing me and yelled that the virus had messed up his email/Internet computer. I didn't connect the dots then, but I couldn't help but wonder why his computer was affected when it didn't even have any type of network connection to mine. Anyway, I fixed his machine without a confrontation. When I finally became curious enough, Casey did something that…that drew my attention away. He has ways of shutting people up when he wants to distract them. He basically attacked me, and had probably intended to rape me, but I beat the shit out of him and managed to get away."
Before she could continue, his grip on her hands tightened. "Goddamn it," he spat. "Why didn't you do something? Why didn't you turn him in to his superior? Loralei, what if he had-" His voice died out. The thought was too horrifying to comprehend.
"Please, Frank, I'm not finished." He closed his gaped open mouth but didn't loosen his grip on her hands. "I went home afterward and didn't come back for a couple of days. I stayed in bed, hiding out. Little by little, I blocked it out, I didn't think about it. It came to me in dreams, but I never brought it back to the surface. I think it motivated me to transfer out. I didn't like ICD, didn't like what I had to look at every day, but it was more due to Casey than anything else. I think it may have been why he flipped out when I fell in love with you. Up until then, he had never considered sending me away. I didn't report it, didn't even try, because I was this fuck up rookie and he was a decorated FBI director. Work it out in your head, Frank. You know the agency and the mindset. Who would they have believed?"
To a degree, he understood, and he agreed. "You shouldn't have let him get away with it. He should have paid for what he did to you. If he did it to you, he probably did it to someone else. I want to kill him, Loralei, I want to make him suffer, I want him to hurt," he said through clenched teeth. "And you didn't become aware of this memory until you saw that website?"
She shook her head. "No," she whispered. "I didn't. He has obviously been carrying this grudge against me for years. He wanted me to walk right into that website, wanted me to remember, wanted me to pay for loving you instead of him. He even knew then that I was onto him, and if he hadn't done what he did, I would have discovered it that night. Maybe he didn't really want me at all; maybe he only did that to distract me. Point is, I was so fucking green. I didn't know anything, and it appears I still don't. You knew before I did, you know everything before I do, and I never listen to you."
He released her hands and slid his chair over. "Bring your chair over here." Without hesitation, she did as he instructed. Once her chair was against his and she was seated next to him, he placed his hand underneath her chin and guided her face toward his. He leaned his forehead against hers. "You never listen to me because sometimes, I'm wrong, and when I'm right, you won't listen because you have your own mind. I wouldn't want you any other way, even if we fight, even if we wind up like we were a few days ago. Do you understand? What he did to you was wrong. What you did, you did to survive. And that, my love, is something of which I can't fault you." He moved back and pressed his lips firmly onto her forehead. "As I've said dozens of times, if you hadn't made that fateful mistake, I wouldn't have you or Rachel, and I can't imagine life without either of you."
"Neither can I," she whispered. She kissed him gently, but deeply. When she broke the kiss, she said, "Now that I've uncovered yet another secret, I need to piss you off again."
He drew away from her and looked down at her curiously. "Piss me off? What are you talking about, Loralei?"
She sighed. "I'm talking about my grand plan, the plan we'll be discussing with the others in less than an hour and a half. I know what I need to do. He expects me to find the website. If he didn't, he wouldn't have given such a blatant hint. Wire me for sound, Agent Donovan, because I intend to set up a meeting with Casey to discuss what I've stumbled on. I want to go the way of Bart Jackson. I'm almost certain he stumbled on it the same way. He probably worked for days before finally breaking it open. I want Casey to confess and then you and the others can take him away. Once that's accomplished, I never want to see the title 'Agent' before my name ever again. I want it over, I want it done. I want to hold my baby in my arms without worrying if some crazy asshole is watching me. I want to be your wife again, just plain ol' Loralei Donovan. I want what we had before this mess. I just want to go home." She was preparing for his blow up, because she was clearly putting herself in the line of fire. Would it be worse then before? She didn't want to live another two weeks without knowing where they stood.
He didn't like her plan, and he couldn't lie to her. He wouldn't even try. Yet, he didn't want the ugliness to return. Donovan wasn't afraid of much in life, but the time that they were in limbo was the most horrifying experience of his life. He never wanted to feel so uncertain and alone again. Whatever she wanted, he wanted. She had given up the life before, could she do it now? "Giving everything up is what you want?"
"It's not only what I want, Frank, it's what I need. I don't want this, I haven't wanted it. I took it to help Bart, and taking Casey out of circulation will do that once and for all. I never regretted the decision I made before, and I won't regret it this time. I wanted it then, but not now. I want something different, and it's the same thing I've wanted since I first told you that I loved you."
"I won't lie and say that your plan doesn't scare the shit out of me. I won't even lie and say I like it, because I don't. I don't like it anymore than you do when I go into a situation that could turn bad at the blink of an eye. I won't demand anything of you or make any ultimatums. I'll support you and do anything it takes to end this, even if it means sending you in, even if it means doing something I don't agree with. I never want you to feel as if I don't trust you, as if I think you're not strong enough. Making you feel that way is the one thing I regret above all else, and I'll do whatever it takes to correct it." He put his arm around her and drew as close to him as possible. "Go in, do this, but get your ass out when you have enough. If you don't, I'm coming in, and if I do, I can't guarantee I won't hurt him for what he has done to you. I want you to come back to me, Loralei. That's what I want, what I need."
* * *
The meeting that evening didn't last very long. Loralei went over the basic plan and gave as many details as possible. She would go to Chance Casey alone, but wired for sound. If Casey discovered her wire, the UC team and the other agents would be her backup plan. Loralei was afraid of course, but nothing would stop her from getting that fucker who killed her best friend. She knew Donovan wasn't pleased, knew he ached to nip this plan in the bud, but he wouldn't interfere unless he had to.
* * *
It was after two in the morning when Donovan came to Loralei. She had asked him to stay home, but he couldn't. He didn't want to sleep without her in his arms. His worry hadn't dissipated one iota, but he wouldn't push it. Although not exactly safe, her plan was a fairly good one. His only fear was that Casey might find her wire and manage to kill her before they could make it to her. Every plan had risk involved, and he was certain that his wife would not walk away unscathed. If she did, it would the miracle of all miracles. When he slid in bed beside her, they didn't spend much time rehashing their plan. For a few hours, neither of them wanted to think about it. There would be plenty of time to work it out once the sun rose. In those last few hours before dawn broke, the only thing he wanted to think about was his love for her and their daughter. He made love to her gently and hungrily. After, she began to cry [fuckin' crybaby], and he held her in his arms until she quieted.