Gilmore Girls

Fan Fiction by Hack

Story Number One

Subject: Luke and Lorelai

Inspired by the Episode from season three: One has the Class and the Other One Dyes.

Disclaimer: I own nothing including more than likely the story idea. The only thing I contributed is the sappiness.

***The Annual Star's Hollow ween Extravaganza***

(Everyone is in costume. Lorelai enters with new love interest. Lorelai is dressed like a Mermaid. Her date is dressed like Don Johnson. Everyone is dancing and mingling. After one song, Lorelai leaves the Dance Hall area to use the powder room. The hallways are dark with spooky lights and decorations. The restrooms are located upstairs. Lorelai is going down the stairs and there some people at the bottom of the stairs breaking up and returning to the dance room. Suddenly, Lorelai trips on the stairs falling on the last four steps. She lets out a scream and out of nowhere a stranger catches her. The stranger is Zorro, with a mask. The two make eye contact. Lorelai says, "And people say there are no good men…" then the stranger kisses Lorelai. It is an awesome kiss. She closes her eyes. The kiss goes on. The stranger puts Lorelai on her feet. Then turns with his big cape flowing around hiding the stranger's identity. People pour into the hall crowding around Lorelai; Lorelai loses the stranger in the midst of people.)

Lorelai swoons "Wow!"

(At first, Lorelai is confused and thinks somehow the stranger is her date.)

(As she returns to the dance floor.)

L: So what's the hurry? Can't wait to dance?

Date: You want to dance? (They begin dancing.)

(Cut to end of date with Date dropping Lorelai off at her door. Date kisses her briefly on the lips leaving Lorelai bewildered and curious.)

***Luke's Diner***(next day)

Lorelai and Rory enter Diner in mid conversation.

L: …and that's the difference between violet and purple. Everything was fine until the "weather balloon" incident in Roswell.

R: Hi, Luke.

Luke: Hi, Rory.

L: Hi, Luke. Two coffees and two blueberry muffins, please.

Luke: Hi, crazy mermaid lady.

L: Well, don't you look chipper today? Clean-shaven even.

Luke: Thank you. (Sarcastically) So do you. Here you go.

R: So Luke, did you go to the Halloween Costume Party?

Luke: I don't go to those kinds of town functions. A bunch of people dressing in costumes, pretending they got no better reason to get drunk on horrible fruit punch that would make any other Harry Buffalo a winner on Iron Chef.  And then there is the next day hung over, sounds like a great time. Sign me up for next year.

R: Not to mention all the swooning. What's a Harry Buffalo?

Luke: You don't need to know. What swooning?

R: A mysterious stranger kissed Mom.

Luke: Did what? (Luke raises one eyebrow, turning to Lorelai) You let a complete stranger kiss you?

R: (Enjoying embarrassing her mom.)She said it was the "Most awesome kiss ever!"

(Lorelai just sits there turning red, pretending to drink her coffee.)

Luke: Most awesome kiss ever?

R: And then she swooned.

(Luke can't help but crack a smile. Lorelai feeling Luke's eyes on her shifts uncomfortably in her seat.)

L: Well, that's a slight understatement.

R: Tasted like peppermint.

Luke: (Frowning) And you didn't even know the guy?

L: It was probably the punch. Jealous?

Luke: Well, not now. You probably picked up some stranger kiss germs. So what about your date? What did he think about your mystery kiss?

R: (whispering to Luke) That's the best part. He didn't even know about it. (Normal voice) I gotta go. I'll miss the bus. Bye, Mom, bye, Harry.

L: Bye honey. (Rory rushes out)

Luke: I can't believe you let a complete stranger kiss you.

L: I'm not complaining.

(Luke walks off whistling, Lorelai sticks out her tongue behind Luke back as he walks away. Then wonders why he is whistling so happily)

***Luke's Diner*** One month later.

(Rory and Lorelai enter and sit at table. Order two cheeseburgers and fries and coffees.)

R: But it's been 5 weeks. You say you like him.  I don't know why you are breaking up.

L: He does have nice hair.

R: It's that mystery kisser. You don't even know who it is. What if it's Kirk? I think you are being silly. I mean I think real life has got to be better than mystery geek.

L: Oh, ye of little faith. It is more than mystery. It was real…it was very real. And if it were Kirk I'd have his baby. But it was not Kirk.

R: Well, how do you know?  (Luke delivers food) Thanks, Luke.

Luke: Your welcome, Rory. Yes, how do you know it wasn't Kirk?

L: Because I already tested him.

Luke: You tested him. How?

L: Well…

Luke: You didn't. (Shock and anger in his voice) You kissed him.

L: Correction. I tested him.

R: Awww, mom.

Luke: You mean, you actually? I can't believe this. You are out of your mind?

R: Her date wants to get serious now but she wants "most awesome kiss ever" mystery guy.

Luke: (Can't shake the image of Lorelai kissing Kirk.) You got to be some kind of desperate to kiss Kirk.

R: Please tell me he was the only victim.

L: Subject, not victim, subject! It was a test! Speaking of subject, what da ya say we change this one?

R: Mom, who else?

Luke: Yeah, who else has been…err…tested?

L: Ok, ok. There was Griffin and Mike from the library, the tuba dour guy, oh yeah and Taylor and Kirk and…

Luke: (super surprised) You kissed Taylor? (Firmly) You kissed Taylor. What are you, some kid of nuts? What am I'm saying look who I'm talking to. The Crazy Lady. I can't believe you are kissing all these people and dating somebody else. I thought you were serious about this one.

L: I never said serious. Well, I did say serious, but I meant as a boring kind of serious. As in seriously boring to kiss (laughs at her own joke, noone else thinks is funny.)
Rory: Oh, there's Lane. Gotta run. Bye Crazy Lady. Bye subject number 18.

L: (Seriously) Luke, it's just hard. I do like the guy I'm dating. But that kiss at the Costume Party. Well, I never had one of those. Why, can't the nice dating guy have that kiss?  Why, is it always mixed up?

Luke: Maybe the kiss doesn't have anything to do with it. Maybe it wasn't all that great. Maybe you are just using it as an excuse. I mean, did anyone even witness this kiss?

L: Oh, there was a kiss all right. So great I wrote home about it. So great, it has it's own name, "Most Awesome Kiss Ever". I just want to know who it is.

Luke: (getting irate) This is crazy. If you don't like a guy then just break up with him. He's no good for you anyway. You don't have to go around kissing everyone from here to Hartford that has a pair of lips. I mean, what's next, are you gonna build a kissing booth in the town square?

L: Now, I knew there was reason why I am still talking to you about this. You come up with the best ideas. A kissing booth. Brilliant! Let's see, (starts to scribble on a napkin) the average kiss lasts approximately 20 seconds. That's means I could kiss at least three people every minute. So in one hour that would be…where's the brainchild when I need her.

Luke: (more irate) That's 180. I must get away from here. You are not getting any pie. I'm taking a break. (Luke leaves to go upstairs clearly upset. Needing some time to cool off. Has she kissed everyone in town but me?)

L: No pie? Luke! Wait! What's wrong?

(Lorelai waits a moment then follows Luke upstairs to the apartment. Not knowing why exactly she is feeling compelled to follow him.)

(Lorelai knocks once then just barges into the apartment. Luke is looking out the window waiting to see when Lorelai leaves the Diner before he goes back downstairs. Jess is there, reading a book at the table. Luke turns around startled by the barging.  Lorelai hesitates for just a second then walks right up to Luke and kisses him. He stands there in udder amazement, not moving. Lorelai sensing Luke's lack of response cuts the kiss off rather suddenly.)

L: Oh, Luke, I am so sorry. I didn't mean….

(Luke finally realizing what at stake, grabs Lorelai and lays "Most awesome kiss ever…version 2" on her.)

Jesse: What on earth? (Even Jesse is speechless for once and sits there with his mouth open in disbelief, grabs his books and sneaks out of the apartment)

(Lorelai figures out that Luke was the mystery kisser from the Halloween Extravaganza.

The kiss finally ends. Lorelai backs away from Luke. And keeps walking backwards towards the door).

L: It was you! You gave me the "Most Awesome Kiss Ever!" You're the mystery kisser.

(Lorelai sprints (as well as a Gilmore can) out of the apartment. Then out of the Diner leaving her sweater behind in the rush.)

Luke: (shouts) Lorelai! Wait!

***The Independence Inn***

(Later that same day, Luke shows up at the Inn to return Lorelai's sweater.)

Luke: It was starting to get colder out. I thought you might need your sweater this afternoon.

L: Thanks. Um,

Together: About this morning….

Luke: You first.

L: Well, I…

Luke: What do you think about catching a show in Hartford this weekend?

L: I… I was…I have plans with the Date guy.                             

Luke: Oh yeah, Mr. Serious. I forgot about him.

L: Yes, he is very forgettable.

Luke: Well, I guess I should get back to the Diner.

L: ummm, OK. (Luke turns to leave but comes back to Lorelai)

Luke: Look. Lorelai. I don't think there's anything wrong with us going out.

L: We're friends!

Luke: That's what makes it so great.

L: But I like just being friends. Friends is good. Friends is safe. Friends are forever.

Luke: You know I have watched you date about every available man this side of the Mississippi. I don't see that you are making any progress.

L: Well, thanks a lot.

Luke: What I'm mean is. I seem to think that friendship is the best base for a good relationship. Wouldn't you want to be friends with the love of your life?

L: Well, of course.

Luke: I just want a chance to see…with you.

L: But…we're friends and

Luke: Lorelai do really think we will be friends if you get married to someone else. No man in his right mind would let you carry on a friendship with me. He would have to be out of his mind.

L: But why?
Luke: Are you serious? (Walking up to Lorelai.)

L: Well, yeah, we can…

Luke: This is why. (Luke leans in and kisses her again…Most Awesome Kiss Ever version 3. Lorelai melts into his arms.)

Luke: (Balances Lorelai on her feet. And ends the kiss.) Think about it.

(Luke turns and leaves the Inn.)

L: Ok, Not fair.

THE END

Authors Note: This is where I went totally sappy and decided to edit myself here.