Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are the products of the authors imagination (Except afore mentioned Sailor Moon characters) or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Lyrics: Sunlight, by Natalie Imbruglia.
Dedication: To Purple Rose.
Even Angels Can Fall
By: Lirial Raito
Previously:
Usagi felt the barest beginnings of a sad smile lift the corners of her lips as her eyes brightened with a glimmer of recognition, and hope. "Seiya?"
Chapter 2: The Glimmer of Hope
--
Today we don't know who we are
Ashamed, hiding behind the scars
Too many times we let the things-
we feel
Get in the way of letting us heal-
the wounds
That open in the dark
--
"Seiya?" Usagi whispered again, not wanting to trust her eyes. How many times before had she seen Seiya, only to realize that she had just been dreaming, or in some cases, hallucinating? She blinked several times, willing the image in front of her to disappear, only to feel a slight stirring inside her mind as the fog in her mind lifted slightly. Yet as several more quiet minutes passed, Seiya continued to sit in front of Usagi, solid and… real.
"Seiya?"
This time Seiya nodded slightly and replied, "I'm here Usagi… Yaten and Taiki are on Earth as well."
--
1 Did you ever feel sunlight on your face
--
Usagi dropped her head down, leaning her chin to her chest, hair spilling down to hide her face. "Sit by me," she whispered softly. Seiya nodded and quickly moved to sit beside Usagi. She made sure she that she didn't touch Usagi, but was still close enough to feel a soft heat radiating from the girl's body. She spoke no words yet, allowing Usagi time to adjust to her closer presence.
Usagi looked through her hair at Seiya, and raised one small hand. She reached forward and touched Seiya's arm, then her knee, then her face, before pulling her hand back and settling it into her lap. "You're real," she said, whispering again, "you're actually here."
Again Seiya nodded, a movement barely caught out of the corner of Usagi's eye. Usagi fell quiet again, watching Seiya through her mass of hair. A smile almost twitched at Seiya's mouth, but she held the smile in for fear of hurting Usagi's delicate feelings. Slowly she reached over and moved some hair out of the way so she could look into Usagi's eyes. She leaned down close to Usagi's ear. "I know that you're hurting Usagi-chan, and I don't wish to be selfish, but could you accompany me to a place that sells hamburgers? I've… forgotten the way."
She stared into space, a small shudder passing through her small frame. "Would I… have to eat anything?" Seiya shook her head and gently touched Usagi's shoulder. "Not unless you want to Usagi… after all, you just had lunch, didn't you?"
--
2 Did you ever feel sunlight on your face?
--
Usagi nodded slightly, a tinge of relief showing in her eyes.
Seiya stood and offered Usagi her hand, "Please guide me Usagi. I don't wish to interfere with your life, but I would like someone who I trust to guide me."
--
Did you ever taste clouds
--
After a moment Usagi pulled a pair of sunglasses from one of her pockets, then placed a hand in Seiya's. "I don't really want to go, but I… need to make sure you're not a vivid hallucination," she whispered. "You seem real, and feel real, but… most dreams do"
Seiya bowed slightly and lifted Usagi from the couch. "I understand Usagi. Please lead the way."
Usagi hesitated for a moment, then walked to the door and slipped on her shoes and went outside. She placed a hand on her sunglasses, still almost blinded from the light after being inside for so long, with the house as dark as she could make it. Seiya waited patiently for Usagi to adjust, then took her hand again. "Please lead on."
Usagi nodded, then let her feet and legs find their way to the Crown.
= = =
--
Did you ever touch space
Did you ever feel sunlight on your face
Did you ever truly live
--
Usagi walked like a zombie the Crown Arcade, letting her mind go numb once more as her feet found themselves heading toward the place she had known so well five years ago. Seiya seemed content to walk in silence, for which Usagi could almost feel grateful.
She tried to ponder why Seiya was in her female form, instead of the male Usagi remembered, but she couldn't help but feel slightly relieved that Seiya *was* a girl… no one would think to tease Usagi about Seiya liking her while Seiya was a girl, even if they felt it might make Usagi smile, or invoke the childish rages of her teenage years.
Usagi sighed to herself… so much had happened since she first became a sailor Senshi, some of it good, some of it bad, but she had always believed things would turn out right in the end. But then Mamo-chan…
***FLASHBACK****
--
So walk, in time to life's refrain
Relax, don't do it to yourself again
Decaying yourself with all the love
you won't give
Killing yourself about the way you-
don't live now
Cause you're not gonna live forever
--
She held onto his arm as gently as she could, watching the other couples in the park conversing softly. Her thoughts drifted back three months, to Seiya telling Mamo-chan to take care of her. She wanted to smile at how protective Seiya was of her, but didn't. She didn't want to hurt Mamo- chan's feelings. She didn't want the Starlights to go, but she understood the need to rebuild one's kingdom, like she herself would one day do. Her Moon Kingdom…
Unconsciously her grip on Mamoru's arm tightened, startling her as he hissed softly in pain. "You're doing it again Usagi. Stop clinging to me so painfully, you're not a child anymore, and Chibi-Usa isn't here for you to fight for my attention over."
Usagi hung her head, guilt flashing across her angelic features. "I'm sorry Mamo-chan, but I was thinking about the Starlights, and then I started thinking about the Moon Kingdom. I want to make our future as peaceful as possible!"
He sighed and pried her fingers from his arm. "This isn't healthy Usagi. A good queen can't be as clingy and needy as you are. You'll be weak, and vulnerable to attack."
He stood and moved away from her. "I can't take this anymore Usagi, I can't deal with how you are. I wish I could say that I'm sorry for what I am about to tell you, but after these past three months…"
She stared up at him, trying to move closer, tears welling up in her cerulean eyes. "What is it Mamo-chan?"
He put a hand out to stop her advance, not caring anymore when she jumped slightly in confusion. The tears in her eyes did nothing to move his heart. "I've been asked to attend school in America once more Usagi, at Harvard. And I'm going. This is, after all, my dream. As the champion of love and justice, and a protector of dreams, I'm sure you won't get in the way of mine now will you?"
Her jaw dropped in shock as she felt herself go numb.
Mamoru didn't give her time to recover or respond. "I'm leaving tomorrow night Usagi, and I'm going home to pack. Sayonara."
He left without saying anything else.
***END FLASHBACK***
Usagi forced her thoughts to turn away from her ex-boyfriend, knowing how painful the wounds still were, even after five years. She didn't really mourn losing him anymore so much as she longed for the innocence she had possessed while dating him. Seiya had gone home, then Mamoru left, and then her parents had died…
***Flashback***
She stared at the phone, willing it to wring as she had for a year. She refused to believe that destiny had forsaken her so awfully. To her surprise and hope, the phone did ring.
She picked up the phone quickly, "moshi moshi, Tsukino residence." The voice on the other line was soft, conciliatory, but of no help, "I'm sorry Miss. Tsukino, your parents have been in a terrible accident…"
What other words were spoken she didn't hear, as darkness covered her sight.
Usagi passed out.
***End Flashback***
Mamoru hadn't come to the funeral, though no one had expected him too. He sent a trite, heartless message to Usagi, suggesting that perhaps the ginzouishou could have been use to resurrect her parents, as she had done for the Senshi so many times before. After that she blamed herself for their deaths, and nothing had consoled her grief.
She felt even worse for having burdened her friends and little brother so terribly, but she couldn't make the pain go away. She had tried, certainly, since she had custody of her brother, but more often than not Shingo was the one who took care of Usagi. She knew that Ami-chan had taken Shingo out to lunch one day to explain to him everything about the Sailor Senshi, in case new attacks came to Tokyo.
They were lucky that no attacks ever came.
Usagi's thoughts turned darker and darker, reliving the pain of those five years since Mamoru had left her. Everyone was very lucky, since the ginzouishou had lost its shine again the moment Usagi had fallen into complete despair. She couldn't have become Sailor Moon again if she had wanted too.
= = =
Seiya watched Usagi quietly as they walked, and touched her arm once she had led them to the Crown. She tugged gently at Usagi to catch her attention, and startled to see a spark of light blue enter into Usagi's eyes. "Huh?" Usagi asked softly. "We're here Usagi-chan." Usagi stared into the Crown for a moment before nodding slightly, "Ok…"
Seiya guided Usagi into the Crown gently and led her to what she felt had been Usagi's favorite place to sit in the arcade/diner. Makoto looked up from behind the counter where she was preparing her latest menu, staring in shock at Usagi. After a few moments passed she also registered Seiya's presence, a slight eyebrow raised as she noted that Seiya was a girl now. Without any need to be asked she disappeared into the kitchen and promptly returned with a plate full of hamburgers and two chocolate milkshakes, and placed them in front of Seiya.
"I had a visit from Setsuna before I came in today, and she told me to have hamburgers ready around this time… now I see why." Seiya smirked slightly and shrugged, "What can I say, I love them!" Usagi pulled on of the milkshakes closer automatically, and started sipping it slowly. Makoto nodded with a slight smile and went back to work. She knew she'd have plenty of time for an update later.
Seiya had consumed five fully loaded hamburgers before stopping to sip her own shake. Usagi was staring at her in mild shock and disbelief. ::Good… at least we know Usagi can still feel something besides pain…:: "Hey, what can I say?"
Usagi nodded slowly, "I know, you love them, but… you inhaled those five!"
Seiya pushed two towards Usagi with a wink, "Well then, you keep these two and make sure that I don't stuff myself to the point I become sick, ok?"
Usagi nodded and picked one up. "I wonder how this will go with the milkshake today…"
= = =
Did you ever feel sunlight on your face
Did you ever taste clouds
Did you ever touch space
Did you ever feel sunlight on your face
Did you ever truly live
Did you ever feel sunlight on your face
Did you ever breathe hope
Did you ever dance with grace
Did you ever feel sunlight on your face
Did you ever truly live
Carefully Makoto balanced herself on one leg, trying to spy on Usagi and Seiya without being seen. She pulled her communicator close and hit the broad send button. She could see that Usagi wasn't wearing hers, she had no fear of their Princess catching Makoto spying.
"Scouts, Seiya is back! He… well, SHE, is here with Usagi. She's just eaten five hamburgers, and gotten Usagi to eat one and a shake."
Rei was the only one to respond, though the light indicated that everyone except Usagi was listening. "Ok, well, temple meeting at 7 tonight. Minako, I know you were on Usagi duty today, so I bet you know something about this. Rei out."
The other lights turned dark as well, and Makoto went back to watching Usagi and Seiya.
= = =
To Be Continued:
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are the products of the authors imagination (Except afore mentioned Sailor Moon characters) or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Lyrics: Sunlight, by Natalie Imbruglia.
Dedication: To Purple Rose.
Even Angels Can Fall
By: Lirial Raito
Previously:
Usagi felt the barest beginnings of a sad smile lift the corners of her lips as her eyes brightened with a glimmer of recognition, and hope. "Seiya?"
Chapter 2: The Glimmer of Hope
--
Today we don't know who we are
Ashamed, hiding behind the scars
Too many times we let the things-
we feel
Get in the way of letting us heal-
the wounds
That open in the dark
--
"Seiya?" Usagi whispered again, not wanting to trust her eyes. How many times before had she seen Seiya, only to realize that she had just been dreaming, or in some cases, hallucinating? She blinked several times, willing the image in front of her to disappear, only to feel a slight stirring inside her mind as the fog in her mind lifted slightly. Yet as several more quiet minutes passed, Seiya continued to sit in front of Usagi, solid and… real.
"Seiya?"
This time Seiya nodded slightly and replied, "I'm here Usagi… Yaten and Taiki are on Earth as well."
--
1 Did you ever feel sunlight on your face
--
Usagi dropped her head down, leaning her chin to her chest, hair spilling down to hide her face. "Sit by me," she whispered softly. Seiya nodded and quickly moved to sit beside Usagi. She made sure she that she didn't touch Usagi, but was still close enough to feel a soft heat radiating from the girl's body. She spoke no words yet, allowing Usagi time to adjust to her closer presence.
Usagi looked through her hair at Seiya, and raised one small hand. She reached forward and touched Seiya's arm, then her knee, then her face, before pulling her hand back and settling it into her lap. "You're real," she said, whispering again, "you're actually here."
Again Seiya nodded, a movement barely caught out of the corner of Usagi's eye. Usagi fell quiet again, watching Seiya through her mass of hair. A smile almost twitched at Seiya's mouth, but she held the smile in for fear of hurting Usagi's delicate feelings. Slowly she reached over and moved some hair out of the way so she could look into Usagi's eyes. She leaned down close to Usagi's ear. "I know that you're hurting Usagi-chan, and I don't wish to be selfish, but could you accompany me to a place that sells hamburgers? I've… forgotten the way."
She stared into space, a small shudder passing through her small frame. "Would I… have to eat anything?" Seiya shook her head and gently touched Usagi's shoulder. "Not unless you want to Usagi… after all, you just had lunch, didn't you?"
--
2 Did you ever feel sunlight on your face?
--
Usagi nodded slightly, a tinge of relief showing in her eyes.
Seiya stood and offered Usagi her hand, "Please guide me Usagi. I don't wish to interfere with your life, but I would like someone who I trust to guide me."
--
Did you ever taste clouds
--
After a moment Usagi pulled a pair of sunglasses from one of her pockets, then placed a hand in Seiya's. "I don't really want to go, but I… need to make sure you're not a vivid hallucination," she whispered. "You seem real, and feel real, but… most dreams do"
Seiya bowed slightly and lifted Usagi from the couch. "I understand Usagi. Please lead the way."
Usagi hesitated for a moment, then walked to the door and slipped on her shoes and went outside. She placed a hand on her sunglasses, still almost blinded from the light after being inside for so long, with the house as dark as she could make it. Seiya waited patiently for Usagi to adjust, then took her hand again. "Please lead on."
Usagi nodded, then let her feet and legs find their way to the Crown.
= = =
--
Did you ever touch space
Did you ever feel sunlight on your face
Did you ever truly live
--
Usagi walked like a zombie the Crown Arcade, letting her mind go numb once more as her feet found themselves heading toward the place she had known so well five years ago. Seiya seemed content to walk in silence, for which Usagi could almost feel grateful.
She tried to ponder why Seiya was in her female form, instead of the male Usagi remembered, but she couldn't help but feel slightly relieved that Seiya *was* a girl… no one would think to tease Usagi about Seiya liking her while Seiya was a girl, even if they felt it might make Usagi smile, or invoke the childish rages of her teenage years.
Usagi sighed to herself… so much had happened since she first became a sailor Senshi, some of it good, some of it bad, but she had always believed things would turn out right in the end. But then Mamo-chan…
***FLASHBACK****
--
So walk, in time to life's refrain
Relax, don't do it to yourself again
Decaying yourself with all the love
you won't give
Killing yourself about the way you-
don't live now
Cause you're not gonna live forever
--
She held onto his arm as gently as she could, watching the other couples in the park conversing softly. Her thoughts drifted back three months, to Seiya telling Mamo-chan to take care of her. She wanted to smile at how protective Seiya was of her, but didn't. She didn't want to hurt Mamo- chan's feelings. She didn't want the Starlights to go, but she understood the need to rebuild one's kingdom, like she herself would one day do. Her Moon Kingdom…
Unconsciously her grip on Mamoru's arm tightened, startling her as he hissed softly in pain. "You're doing it again Usagi. Stop clinging to me so painfully, you're not a child anymore, and Chibi-Usa isn't here for you to fight for my attention over."
Usagi hung her head, guilt flashing across her angelic features. "I'm sorry Mamo-chan, but I was thinking about the Starlights, and then I started thinking about the Moon Kingdom. I want to make our future as peaceful as possible!"
He sighed and pried her fingers from his arm. "This isn't healthy Usagi. A good queen can't be as clingy and needy as you are. You'll be weak, and vulnerable to attack."
He stood and moved away from her. "I can't take this anymore Usagi, I can't deal with how you are. I wish I could say that I'm sorry for what I am about to tell you, but after these past three months…"
She stared up at him, trying to move closer, tears welling up in her cerulean eyes. "What is it Mamo-chan?"
He put a hand out to stop her advance, not caring anymore when she jumped slightly in confusion. The tears in her eyes did nothing to move his heart. "I've been asked to attend school in America once more Usagi, at Harvard. And I'm going. This is, after all, my dream. As the champion of love and justice, and a protector of dreams, I'm sure you won't get in the way of mine now will you?"
Her jaw dropped in shock as she felt herself go numb.
Mamoru didn't give her time to recover or respond. "I'm leaving tomorrow night Usagi, and I'm going home to pack. Sayonara."
He left without saying anything else.
***END FLASHBACK***
Usagi forced her thoughts to turn away from her ex-boyfriend, knowing how painful the wounds still were, even after five years. She didn't really mourn losing him anymore so much as she longed for the innocence she had possessed while dating him. Seiya had gone home, then Mamoru left, and then her parents had died…
***Flashback***
She stared at the phone, willing it to wring as she had for a year. She refused to believe that destiny had forsaken her so awfully. To her surprise and hope, the phone did ring.
She picked up the phone quickly, "moshi moshi, Tsukino residence." The voice on the other line was soft, conciliatory, but of no help, "I'm sorry Miss. Tsukino, your parents have been in a terrible accident…"
What other words were spoken she didn't hear, as darkness covered her sight.
Usagi passed out.
***End Flashback***
Mamoru hadn't come to the funeral, though no one had expected him too. He sent a trite, heartless message to Usagi, suggesting that perhaps the ginzouishou could have been use to resurrect her parents, as she had done for the Senshi so many times before. After that she blamed herself for their deaths, and nothing had consoled her grief.
She felt even worse for having burdened her friends and little brother so terribly, but she couldn't make the pain go away. She had tried, certainly, since she had custody of her brother, but more often than not Shingo was the one who took care of Usagi. She knew that Ami-chan had taken Shingo out to lunch one day to explain to him everything about the Sailor Senshi, in case new attacks came to Tokyo.
They were lucky that no attacks ever came.
Usagi's thoughts turned darker and darker, reliving the pain of those five years since Mamoru had left her. Everyone was very lucky, since the ginzouishou had lost its shine again the moment Usagi had fallen into complete despair. She couldn't have become Sailor Moon again if she had wanted too.
= = =
Seiya watched Usagi quietly as they walked, and touched her arm once she had led them to the Crown. She tugged gently at Usagi to catch her attention, and startled to see a spark of light blue enter into Usagi's eyes. "Huh?" Usagi asked softly. "We're here Usagi-chan." Usagi stared into the Crown for a moment before nodding slightly, "Ok…"
Seiya guided Usagi into the Crown gently and led her to what she felt had been Usagi's favorite place to sit in the arcade/diner. Makoto looked up from behind the counter where she was preparing her latest menu, staring in shock at Usagi. After a few moments passed she also registered Seiya's presence, a slight eyebrow raised as she noted that Seiya was a girl now. Without any need to be asked she disappeared into the kitchen and promptly returned with a plate full of hamburgers and two chocolate milkshakes, and placed them in front of Seiya.
"I had a visit from Setsuna before I came in today, and she told me to have hamburgers ready around this time… now I see why." Seiya smirked slightly and shrugged, "What can I say, I love them!" Usagi pulled on of the milkshakes closer automatically, and started sipping it slowly. Makoto nodded with a slight smile and went back to work. She knew she'd have plenty of time for an update later.
Seiya had consumed five fully loaded hamburgers before stopping to sip her own shake. Usagi was staring at her in mild shock and disbelief. ::Good… at least we know Usagi can still feel something besides pain…:: "Hey, what can I say?"
Usagi nodded slowly, "I know, you love them, but… you inhaled those five!"
Seiya pushed two towards Usagi with a wink, "Well then, you keep these two and make sure that I don't stuff myself to the point I become sick, ok?"
Usagi nodded and picked one up. "I wonder how this will go with the milkshake today…"
= = =
Did you ever feel sunlight on your face
Did you ever taste clouds
Did you ever touch space
Did you ever feel sunlight on your face
Did you ever truly live
Did you ever feel sunlight on your face
Did you ever breathe hope
Did you ever dance with grace
Did you ever feel sunlight on your face
Did you ever truly live
Carefully Makoto balanced herself on one leg, trying to spy on Usagi and Seiya without being seen. She pulled her communicator close and hit the broad send button. She could see that Usagi wasn't wearing hers, she had no fear of their Princess catching Makoto spying.
"Scouts, Seiya is back! He… well, SHE, is here with Usagi. She's just eaten five hamburgers, and gotten Usagi to eat one and a shake."
Rei was the only one to respond, though the light indicated that everyone except Usagi was listening. "Ok, well, temple meeting at 7 tonight. Minako, I know you were on Usagi duty today, so I bet you know something about this. Rei out."
The other lights turned dark as well, and Makoto went back to watching Usagi and Seiya.
= = =
To Be Continued: