21. Mysterious Absence
Time continued to move along at a somber pace while Evangeline worked diligently on the paintings, making good progress on those she'd brought to her rooms. Replacing them at night worked well, too, and before she knew it she'd fallen into a familiar although rather unsatisfying routine. She found that she was able to move around the castle however she wished, as long as she didn't have any direct contact with the students. Meals were rather lonely affairs, though; she really missed having people to talk to. A few weeks after the start of term, Severus Snape took her by surprise by knocking on her door just as she was about to sit down to eat her solitary dinner one evening.
"Hi," she exclaimed in puzzlement as she found him on her doorstep. "Shouldn't you be down in the dining hall casting an eagle eye over your charges, watching carefully for wrong doing and mischief making, and whatever else you're always on the prowl for?"
He frowned at her and crossed his arms. "One would think that perhaps you don't want company after all."
"Oh, no, you don't get away that easily!" Eager for the company she grabbed him by the front of his robes, and hauled him inside. Then she slammed the door and leaned against it. "Seriously, Severus. Why are you here instead of down in the Great Hall with everyone else?"
"Well, various people have been lamenting the fact that you have to spend all of your meals alone. So it was suggested that we rotate company for you, if you don't mind, that is." He regarded her somberly. "You don't mind, do you?"
"Mind! Of course not. That's so thoughtful of you. Whose idea was this anyway? Yours?"
Anxious to remove that notion quickly, he shook his head. "No, I can't claim credit. It was Minerva who brought up the suggestion. I believe she'll be joining you for breakfast. It was assumed that occasional individual absences from meals wouldn't really excite too much interest from anyone."
Evangeline grabbed his hand and pulled him across the room. "Well, come and sit down at the table before you change your mind." When she got to the table, she saw that it'd already been set for two. "I see the house elves have already been informed," she exclaimed with a delighted smile as they sat down and began their meal.
"So, how did you get to be the first guest on my rotating schedule, Severus?"
An uncertain frown creased his forehead. "I'm not sure. Both Minerva and Albus seemed to think it would be a good idea. They're on the list as well, as is Flitwick, Lupin, and Black." He didn't look happy about this last inclusion, but refrained from making any comment.
As Black's name was mentioned, she bit her lip and looked at him warily. "Actually, Sirius has already been here for dinner. He came the night of the welcoming feast, when you were all dealing with the students."
Snape didn't look surprised. "I suppose he was feeling left out of things, too. Of course, he could've joined us in the hall if he'd wished. I would've gladly tossed him a bone."
Evangeline smiled, but kept her thoughts to herself. "He actually apologized for his behavior at our earlier meetings."
Snape snorted and commented darkly. "He certainly owed you one."
"Well, I didn't refuse it, you can be sure. He can be quite charming when he puts his mind to it." She watched Severus carefully as she said, "He told me about his imprisonment, and what happened the night he discovered the truth about his former friend, the rat."
Snape sighed, closed his eyes, and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "That was a horrible night, for so many reasons. I didn't want to believe he was innocent. I resisted it for a long time. It had been so comfortable to have him to blame for so much of what had happened. I still wish he was guilty." Abruptly he opened his eyes once more and gazed questioningly into hers. "Does that shock you?"
"No." She smiled kindly. "As you said, the wounds are very old and very deep. Frankly, I told him that if your places had been reversed, he probably wouldn't have believed you either. He didn't deny it."
"Still, if I was a kinder, more forgiving man, things might've gone differently that night, and your life and mine and everyone else's might be safer now." He crossed his arms and stared moodily down at the table.
She sighed. "Maybe…maybe not. Voldemort would probably still have found a way back. You are the man that life has made you. You can't act against your nature, and frankly, maybes and might have beens are pointless." Deliberately she put down her fork and stared earnestly at her guest. "Severus, this conversation is getting much too depressing for me. Let's see if we can find something else to talk about."
Conceding her point with a nod, he replied, "All right. These visits are supposed to be pleasant for you after all."
"Oh, don't worry about that. It's always a pleasure to see your smiling face." She teased him lightly. Raising an eyebrow, he glared back. Pleased at his response, she continued, "Actually, I was planning on coming down to see you after dinner, anyway. I need to make up more cleaning and restoring potions. I've almost used up my whole supply already. I was hoping I could use your equipment again to make some more. Fortunately, I still have plenty of ingredients left. I'll try to make up a bigger batch this time."
"Certainly. We can go down now, if you wish. I have no plans for the evening."
"Thanks, I'll get my things." Evangeline got up from the table and went into the bedroom, returning momentarily with a box of potion ingredients and empty bottles.
Together they left her chambers and made their way down to Snape's classroom. Once there, they spent a comfortable couple of hours cutting, mashing, stewing, and mixing, when suddenly Snape jumped sharply as if bitten and clutched his left forearm. Evangeline looked over at him in concern. "What happened, Severus? Did you cut yourself?"
The Potions Master stared at her as if he didn't recognize her for a moment, then he shook his head. "No, Evangeline, I…simply remembered something I have to take care of immediately. Can you finish up here by yourself?"
Puzzled she nodded slowly. "Certainly, I can, but what…?"
He didn't let her finish. "I really have to go, Evangeline. I'll see you soon." Leaving what he'd been working on for her to finish, he practically ran out of the classroom and up the hall away from his quarters.
Evangeline stood there rather stunned for a moment as she watched his rapid retreat. What had just happened here? She wondered in confusion. Certainly he didn't just remember something he'd forgotten. In fact, he looked rather upset. And what was the matter with his arm? Is this the start of another mysterious absence? Damn it, Severus, what are you up to? What's wrong? For something is. I can feel that much, she thought worriedly.
She continued to brood for a few minutes, and then decided to finish up her potions before doing anything else. Once she was done, she took her time cleaning up very carefully, and found that a couple of hours had passed, and still there was no sign of Severus returning.
So she sat herself back down at the table and waited for another hour, but he didn't return. After awhile she began to feel a bit foolish sitting there waiting for him, like a parent waiting for an overdue teen. So she gathered up her potions and went back upstairs, running into Minerva McGonagall in the entrance hall.
"Been mixing up new potions, dear?" Minerva inquired kindly.
"Yes, I was running out," Evangeline answered. As they headed up the stairs together, her concern and her curiosity overwhelmed her, and she found that she couldn't keep quiet anymore. "Minerva, what's wrong with, Severus?" she blurted out awkwardly.
Minerva looked at her with a startled expression on her face. "Nothing as far as I know. Whatever do you mean?"
"He was helping me with my potions, when suddenly he dropped everything and began to clutch his forearm as if he was in pain. Then he made these frankly less than believable excuses and ran out of there as fast as he could. That was three hours ago, and he's not back yet. What's going on?"
Minerva paled when Evangeline mentioned Snape's forearm, and she looked away from the younger woman. "I have no idea, Evangeline. However, I wouldn't worry. I'm sure that Severus is fine. He must've just remembered something important that he had to go and do."
They reached the top of the staircase and stopped, facing each other uneasily. Evangeline was surprised and worried to see Minerva try to avoid her eyes in a manner that was most unlike the usually forthright and frank professor
"You've never lied to me before, Minerva, but you're lying to me now. I can tell. You are worried. You know where he's gone, don't you? Please, tell me." Evangeline implored her with concern in her eyes.
Straightening up, Minerva looked back at her with her best "don't cross the teacher" look. "I'm sorry, Evangeline, but there is nothing to tell. I'm sure that Severus is fine. He'll return when he's ready. Go to bed and don't worry. I'll see you in the morning. We'll have breakfast together." This last was said more kindly, and with a reassuring pat on the arm, Minerva turned, walked quickly up the hallway to another staircase, and vanished from sight.
Slowly Evangeline returned to her room, put her things away, and paced. In the state she was in, she knew that she couldn't go to bed. There was no way she'd be able to sleep. Curiosity and worry were too strong. Hoping to keep her mind occupied, she tried to work for a while, but she couldn't concentrate no matter how hard she tried. Giving that up as a lost cause, she grabbed up a sketchpad and tried to draw, but all that came out were images of Severus. Finally she threw down her sketchpad in frustration, got up, and went back down to the dungeon. Since that was where her mind insisted on dwelling, her body might as well go along for the ride.
Being back down in the dungeons didn't help to put her fears to rest, though. Snape wasn't to be found in his classroom or his office. His quarters seemed to be deserted as well. As a last resort, she even checked the bowling alley, but it was completely empty at the moment, even Rooty was nowhere to be seen. Very worried by now, she was returning up the stairs to the main dungeon level when Snape came into view down the corridor limping towards his quarters.
"Severus," she called out automatically, incredibly relieved to finally see him again.
He turned involuntarily toward the sound of her voice, then quickly turned away, but not quickly enough to hide the many bruises on his face.
"Severus!" she called again, her relief quickly turning into alarm. "What happened to you? Where did you go?"
He continued to move away from her without replying, but she finally caught up to him in front of his quarters as he unlocked them. "Go to bed, Evangeline. This doesn't concern you," he stated in a sharp cold voice.
"Doesn't concern me! I've been waiting for you for hours. I've been worried, and it looks like I've had good reason! Look at you; you're a mess! Cut and bruised and limping…" She would've gone on, had he not rounded on her, grabbed her roughly by the arms, and shook her hard.
Then he lowered his face to hers and snarled sharply. "This is none of your business, Evangeline. Please, do me the favor of staying out of my affairs!"
His manner took her back to the first time they'd met. He'd been like this then...cold and menacing. She felt tears spring unbidden to her eyes, and she whispered softly, "Please, let me help you, Severus."
The dark wizard closed his eyes and tried to get control of himself. Then he released her arms and straightened up. When he opened his eyes, they were like blank pools, hiding his emotions in their depths.
"I'm fine, Evangeline. I do not require your help. I had a small accident. That's all. There is nothing for you to worry about. Please, just do as I say, and go to bed and leave me alone." This was said in a cold and measured tone that somehow made her more afraid than the angry menacing tone of a few moments before.
She stared at him, and he stared back. Without another word, she moved aside. Silently he opened his door, went inside, and closed the door in her face.