Chapter 4: Experience
"I knew we should have taken a left at Albuquerque!" Qui-Gon yelled as he looked over his gin. Obi-Wan looked up from the road map to reply, "Actually, Master, your directions were completely wrong. And Master, may I suggest you stop drinking?" "But I am Qui-Gon Gin, the King of Gin!" Qui-Gon yelled. "Master, I really must insist," Obi-Wan continued. "FOR THAT INSOLENCE, YOU WILL DIE!" Qui-Gon interrupted. Qui-Gon ignited his lightsaber and charged Obi-Wan. As Obi-Wan dodged, he decided it was time to pull out the "big guns". Obi-Wan tore off his robes, revealing a disco suit, and used the force to shape his hair into an afro. Then, as Qui-Gon tried to remove himself from a band of irate Hutts, Obi-Wan began his super disco moves. Seeing the disco moves, Qui-Gon began to melt. "Aaaagh! I'm melting! He has that full head of hair, and he can dance!" Qui-Gon screamed. "Yes! I have the Super Disco Afro of the Light Side, and you have a wig that looks like a hamster," Obi-Wan yelled as he pulled out Qui-Gon's hair. "Oops! I guess that was real hair." Suddenly, a small boy and a man encased in jet black armor ran onset. "Luke, I am your father," the two announced in unison as they ran back offstage. * * * Obi-Wan wandered through Mos Espa, looking for a rental spaceship lot. Suddenly he happened upon the perfect place, Jimi Hendrix's rental spaceship lot. "Yo, Jimi!" Obi-Wan yelled as he entered the lot. "Obi, dude," Jimi replied. "How is my main man ? I see you finally took care of Qui-Gon. I like it, man. Its ice!" "Yah, so man, you got any rental spaceships?" Obi-Wan asked. "Oh yah, dude. I got all the stuff, man," Jimi replied. After looking around the lot for pie^pie hours, Obi-Wan announced, "I would like to rent a Purple Haze in periwinkle." "I'm sorry dudem but the Haze only comes in purple," Jimi replied. "Only purple! Not even salmon or mauve?" Obi-Wan complained. "That rots!" "Oh, it does, man," Jimi replied. "Before you go, dude, lets play!" Jimi yelled. The rest of Jimi's band came out, and 2 roadies gave Obi-Wan and Jimi each an electric guitar. They started into Voodoo Child, Hendrix his normal genius self, and Obi-Wan sounding like a drunken banshee. Suddenly, Lucas Arts employees ran onscene and grabbed Jimi Hendrix and his band. "Yes, I have finally caught you three," George Lucas yelled. "Now if I could just catch the rest of the hooligans." "Noooo! Jimi!" Obi-Wan yelled as he filleted a flamingo on his lightsaber. "Hmm, tastes just like chicken." * * * "Obi-Wan lifted his periwinkle Purple Haze off the landing pad and set a course for Naboo. "I knew Jimi had a Purple Haze in periwinkle," Obi-Wan thought Suddenly a tye-dyed ship blasted for space, followed by a swarm of Lucas Arts employees in Golf Carts. "Phone home, Jimi!" Obi-Wan yelled as he watched the Experienced fly away.
"I knew we should have taken a left at Albuquerque!" Qui-Gon yelled as he looked over his gin. Obi-Wan looked up from the road map to reply, "Actually, Master, your directions were completely wrong. And Master, may I suggest you stop drinking?" "But I am Qui-Gon Gin, the King of Gin!" Qui-Gon yelled. "Master, I really must insist," Obi-Wan continued. "FOR THAT INSOLENCE, YOU WILL DIE!" Qui-Gon interrupted. Qui-Gon ignited his lightsaber and charged Obi-Wan. As Obi-Wan dodged, he decided it was time to pull out the "big guns". Obi-Wan tore off his robes, revealing a disco suit, and used the force to shape his hair into an afro. Then, as Qui-Gon tried to remove himself from a band of irate Hutts, Obi-Wan began his super disco moves. Seeing the disco moves, Qui-Gon began to melt. "Aaaagh! I'm melting! He has that full head of hair, and he can dance!" Qui-Gon screamed. "Yes! I have the Super Disco Afro of the Light Side, and you have a wig that looks like a hamster," Obi-Wan yelled as he pulled out Qui-Gon's hair. "Oops! I guess that was real hair." Suddenly, a small boy and a man encased in jet black armor ran onset. "Luke, I am your father," the two announced in unison as they ran back offstage. * * * Obi-Wan wandered through Mos Espa, looking for a rental spaceship lot. Suddenly he happened upon the perfect place, Jimi Hendrix's rental spaceship lot. "Yo, Jimi!" Obi-Wan yelled as he entered the lot. "Obi, dude," Jimi replied. "How is my main man ? I see you finally took care of Qui-Gon. I like it, man. Its ice!" "Yah, so man, you got any rental spaceships?" Obi-Wan asked. "Oh yah, dude. I got all the stuff, man," Jimi replied. After looking around the lot for pie^pie hours, Obi-Wan announced, "I would like to rent a Purple Haze in periwinkle." "I'm sorry dudem but the Haze only comes in purple," Jimi replied. "Only purple! Not even salmon or mauve?" Obi-Wan complained. "That rots!" "Oh, it does, man," Jimi replied. "Before you go, dude, lets play!" Jimi yelled. The rest of Jimi's band came out, and 2 roadies gave Obi-Wan and Jimi each an electric guitar. They started into Voodoo Child, Hendrix his normal genius self, and Obi-Wan sounding like a drunken banshee. Suddenly, Lucas Arts employees ran onscene and grabbed Jimi Hendrix and his band. "Yes, I have finally caught you three," George Lucas yelled. "Now if I could just catch the rest of the hooligans." "Noooo! Jimi!" Obi-Wan yelled as he filleted a flamingo on his lightsaber. "Hmm, tastes just like chicken." * * * "Obi-Wan lifted his periwinkle Purple Haze off the landing pad and set a course for Naboo. "I knew Jimi had a Purple Haze in periwinkle," Obi-Wan thought Suddenly a tye-dyed ship blasted for space, followed by a swarm of Lucas Arts employees in Golf Carts. "Phone home, Jimi!" Obi-Wan yelled as he watched the Experienced fly away.