30. A Step Back
Evangeline entered the hospital wing filled with agitation over her reception. The room was quiet, and the privacy drape was still drawn around Snape's bed. As she got closer, she could hear the low murmur of voices. Deliberately she reached out, parted the drapery, and stepped inside.
Snape was resting in the bed propped up with an extra pillow. He was wearing a hospital gown, and the angry bruises on his face stood out sharply against his extreme pallor. At the moment, he was talking softly with Albus Dumbledore, who sat in a chair by his side.
Both men stopped talking and looked up at her entrance. Snape kept his face carefully blank, but Dumbledore smiled and gestured for her to come closer. "Come in, Evangeline. I understand you've discovered Severus' secret. Well, perhaps it's for the best. He's returned with news that concerns you."
Evangeline stepped closer and sat down on the edge of the bed. Dumbledore reached over and took her icy hand in his warm one. "Severus is one of my most loyal and trusted people, Evangeline. You must not doubt that he has your best interests at heart."
She nodded at the Headmaster as if she didn't trust herself to speak at the moment.
Dumbledore captured her eyes with the intensity of his gaze. "At the meeting Severus attended this evening, it was explicitly stated that Voldemort is looking for you. He instructed all of his followers to search for you until you're found. Although he didn't tell them why."
She considered this thoughtfully for a moment, and then said, "Then I have to leave here at once. To remain would put Severus in more danger."
"Why do you say that, my dear?" inquired Dumbledore.
She glanced at the impassive Snape, and then looked back at Dumbledore. "If Voldemort finds out I'm here, and that Severus didn't deliver me to him, he'd lose his credibility as a loyal follower. If this," she waved a hand at Severus, "is how Voldemort treats his loyal minions, how badly would he treat those whom he has reason to doubt."
Snape spoke up. "Do not believe that I'm among those unconditionally trusted by Voldemort, Evangeline. My slow re-entry into his fold, following his rebirth, has made it difficult to completely earn his trust again. That's the reason he treats me so harshly. It's also why I didn't know for certain, until tonight, that he's searching for you. However, even if it's discovered that you're here, I believe, I can survive his ire for not turning you over to him. He gave us only your name and what few facts he knows about your life. He showed us no image of you, nor did he mention anything that would lead anyone to suspect that you're here. All I'd have to do is say that I didn't realize that you're the same person he sought. You are using an alias, after all."
Evangeline frowned. "But if he discovers my whereabouts, you'll certainly be given the task of turning me over to him. What happens when you don't do it?"
Snape looked back solemnly. "We'll worry about that if it happens. For now, you're safer here with us than you would be anywhere else."
Dumbledore stepped in. "I agree with Severus. As long as Voldemort doesn't realize you're here at Hogwarts, you both are safe, but Evangeline raises a good point as well. If it becomes known that she's here, other arrangements for her safety will have to be made."
Poppy stepped around the drape and added, "Severus needs his rest. I think the two of you should leave him alone now, and let him get some sleep."
Dumbledore stood up. "You're right, Poppy. We'll speak again tomorrow, Severus. I'm glad that you've returned to us, and are safe for now."
Snape sighed. "Thank you, Albus."
Evangeline gave Poppy a pleading look. "May I please speak to Severus alone for a moment? I promise I won't take too long."
Snape said nothing, and Pomfrey and Dumbledore exchanged glances. "All right but just for a few minutes." The two of them retreated behind the curtain, and Evangeline could hear their footsteps moving away.
Evangeline turned and looked at Severus. He still had that carefully blank expression on his face. Suddenly she was afraid that her thoughtless rejection had hurt him beyond his capacity to forgive her.
She sighed painfully. "All I seem to do is hurt you and then apologize for it. It's a wonder that you've put up with me for as long as you have." She looked down at her hands. Staring into those dark empty eyes was suddenly too hard.
"When I saw that mark on your arm, all I could think of was that night of horror I experienced that brought me here. Being pursued and almost captured or killed by those four demons in masks. Then I thought of my mother, pursued over a cliff to her death, when I was just a third year here at Hogwarts."
Snape shifted convulsively at this. Evangeline looked up, but he was still just staring intently at her. "For that moment, you stopped being the man I cared for and trusted, and became something to be feared and hated. I wasn't being rational. I wasn't thinking, nor was I trusting my heart. I was merely reacting to my fear. Talking to Remus made me understand so much that I didn't before. I wish you'd told me yourself, but I understand why you didn't. I don't know if you can ever forgive me, but for what it's worth, I'll never doubt you again. I'm so sorry for causing you pain, Severus." Tears flowed silently down her cheeks, but she held herself rigidly still, painfully unsure of what he would say.
He watched her solemnly. "I fully expected the reaction I got from you when you first saw the dark mark, Evangeline. I couldn't expect that you'd react in any other fashion. No good and decent person would. However, you're correct. I should've told you about it myself. I wanted to…intended to…I simply couldn't find the words. Don't distress yourself further on my behalf. There's nothing to forgive."
Evangeline didn't know how to react to this. Here he was, being so understanding of her thoughtless mistrust, but at the same time, there was this coldness in his manner that hadn't been there before. She couldn't help but think that she'd ruined any chance of recapturing the closeness they'd shared just last evening.
She nodded slowly and stood up feeling like she was wading through paint. As she turned to go she heard Severus ask, "Evangeline, what was your mother's name?"
She turned back with a puzzled look on her face. "Galatea. Why do you ask?"
He didn't meet her eyes. "Nothing. Just curiosity. Good night, Evangeline."
"Good night, Severus." Dejectedly she walked slowly out of the hospital wing and down to her lonely room.