Chapter 6: The Endless Sands (And Cement)
"Thanks for the pierogis!" Obi-Wan yelled to the Jawas. He had crashed on Tatooine a few days before and had traded the remains of the ship to some Jawas in return for transport to Mos Espa. The trip aboard the Sandcrawler had been interesting, with wild drinking parties and aggressive gambling, in which Obi-Wan had won several thousand credits. Obi-Wan surveyed his surroundings. The Jawas said they had dropped him off on the outskirts of Mos Espa, but the only thing Obi-Wan could see was the endless sand. "Mos Espa has been obliterated!" Obi-Wan exclaimed. "Actually, it's behind you," a sadistic voice sneered. "You're looking the wrong way." Obi-Wan turned to see Qui-Gon and Queen Amidala standing side by side. "I see you both survived your demises," Obi-Wan stated. "I love it when you state the obvious," Qui-Gon sneered. "I barely survived your assault!" Queen Amidala shrieked. "I can change that," Obi-Wan replied. As Obi-Wan reached for his lightsaber, Qui-Gon put his hand on Obi- Wan's hand and asked, "May I?" "Of course," Obi-Wan replied. In the blink of an eye, Qui-Gon had his lightsaber out and had sliced Amidala into 27 pieces. "Thank you," Obi-Wan replied. "I have to go, but I'll visit some other time." "You're welcome. Please come visit again," Qui-Gon replied. *** "Excuse me, but do you have any starships on sale?" Obi-Wan asked an obese, blue toydarian. "Why yes, we have a nice, little Z-80 fightercraft with a hyperdrive for only 3,000,000.000001 credits," the toydarian replied. Obi-Wan checked his credit pouch, only to realize he only had 3 thousand credits. "I'm sorry, but I'm a little short," Obi-Wan replied. "Is there anyway I can work for a little extra money?" "Yes, yes. Talk to Ani," the toydarian replied, pointing to a young boy. "Excuse me, but your boss told me to talk to you about a short-term job," Obi-Wan told Anakin. "Yes," Anakin replied. "I have a pod that I race for Master Watto. I hate the racing, but Watto makes me keep racing because I always win. Would you race in place off me? I'll pay whatever you are short by on the ship if you finish the race," Anakin offered. "I accept," Obi-Wan replied. "By the way, how did you know I was short on the ship?" "I'm a thief and a pickpocket. Eavesdropping comes with the job," Anakin shrugged. *** "I thought you said this was a PODRACE!" Obi-Wan exclaimed. "It was," Anakin explained. "All the pods were stolen, so we pulled out some stock cars, grabbed some stock car drivers, and created a cement tri-oval. We call it Mos Espa Intergalactic Speedway." "I'm still racing, right?" Obi-Wan asked "Yah, you're the number 00 Intergalactic Fuel cells Dodge," Anakin replied. "You better get in your car, the race is about to start!" Obi-Wan climbed in his car just in time to hear some of the most famous words in racing. "Drivers, start your engines!" the president of some company announced. *** "So Obi, what were you thinking when Jeff Gordon wrecked on Lap 1, taking out the entire field except you, putting you in the lead, and putting himself out of the race and in last permanently?" a reporter asked Obi-Wan as he stood in Victory Circle celebrating the win with his team. "Well, I want to thank my sponsors, Intergalactic Fuel cells and dodge." Obi-Wan began.
PS: You may not get the ending unless you watch auto racing. If you want me to explain, ask me.
"Thanks for the pierogis!" Obi-Wan yelled to the Jawas. He had crashed on Tatooine a few days before and had traded the remains of the ship to some Jawas in return for transport to Mos Espa. The trip aboard the Sandcrawler had been interesting, with wild drinking parties and aggressive gambling, in which Obi-Wan had won several thousand credits. Obi-Wan surveyed his surroundings. The Jawas said they had dropped him off on the outskirts of Mos Espa, but the only thing Obi-Wan could see was the endless sand. "Mos Espa has been obliterated!" Obi-Wan exclaimed. "Actually, it's behind you," a sadistic voice sneered. "You're looking the wrong way." Obi-Wan turned to see Qui-Gon and Queen Amidala standing side by side. "I see you both survived your demises," Obi-Wan stated. "I love it when you state the obvious," Qui-Gon sneered. "I barely survived your assault!" Queen Amidala shrieked. "I can change that," Obi-Wan replied. As Obi-Wan reached for his lightsaber, Qui-Gon put his hand on Obi- Wan's hand and asked, "May I?" "Of course," Obi-Wan replied. In the blink of an eye, Qui-Gon had his lightsaber out and had sliced Amidala into 27 pieces. "Thank you," Obi-Wan replied. "I have to go, but I'll visit some other time." "You're welcome. Please come visit again," Qui-Gon replied. *** "Excuse me, but do you have any starships on sale?" Obi-Wan asked an obese, blue toydarian. "Why yes, we have a nice, little Z-80 fightercraft with a hyperdrive for only 3,000,000.000001 credits," the toydarian replied. Obi-Wan checked his credit pouch, only to realize he only had 3 thousand credits. "I'm sorry, but I'm a little short," Obi-Wan replied. "Is there anyway I can work for a little extra money?" "Yes, yes. Talk to Ani," the toydarian replied, pointing to a young boy. "Excuse me, but your boss told me to talk to you about a short-term job," Obi-Wan told Anakin. "Yes," Anakin replied. "I have a pod that I race for Master Watto. I hate the racing, but Watto makes me keep racing because I always win. Would you race in place off me? I'll pay whatever you are short by on the ship if you finish the race," Anakin offered. "I accept," Obi-Wan replied. "By the way, how did you know I was short on the ship?" "I'm a thief and a pickpocket. Eavesdropping comes with the job," Anakin shrugged. *** "I thought you said this was a PODRACE!" Obi-Wan exclaimed. "It was," Anakin explained. "All the pods were stolen, so we pulled out some stock cars, grabbed some stock car drivers, and created a cement tri-oval. We call it Mos Espa Intergalactic Speedway." "I'm still racing, right?" Obi-Wan asked "Yah, you're the number 00 Intergalactic Fuel cells Dodge," Anakin replied. "You better get in your car, the race is about to start!" Obi-Wan climbed in his car just in time to hear some of the most famous words in racing. "Drivers, start your engines!" the president of some company announced. *** "So Obi, what were you thinking when Jeff Gordon wrecked on Lap 1, taking out the entire field except you, putting you in the lead, and putting himself out of the race and in last permanently?" a reporter asked Obi-Wan as he stood in Victory Circle celebrating the win with his team. "Well, I want to thank my sponsors, Intergalactic Fuel cells and dodge." Obi-Wan began.
PS: You may not get the ending unless you watch auto racing. If you want me to explain, ask me.