32. An Olive Branch
Evangeline was staring out her window into the darkness without really seeing anything. Lately Hogwarts had seemed more and more like a prison instead of a refuge. Her dinner sat untouched on the table. She just couldn't make the effort to eat it. Nearly everything seemed to take more effort than she could manage to summon up lately. All she could truly seem to make herself do was work, sleep, and brood.
A knock sounded at the door, then repeated itself before she heard it. With a sigh, she slowly crossed the room, steeling herself for another unpleasant conversation with someone…anyone. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door, and her heart jumped in her chest.
Snape stood there, with a lot of worry on his face when he saw her. She had dark circles under her eyes, and they held none of their usual sparkle. Her hair hung limply, and she looked like she'd lost weight that she could ill afford to lose. They stood there and stared at one another. Neither one knowing quite what to say.
Finally Snape took the initiative. "May I come in, Evangeline?" he asked gently.
She nodded without speaking and opened the door wider for his entry, then closed it after him. Then she simply stood there, just staring at him as if she wasn't sure he was real.
He frowned in concern at her manner. "Evangeline, are you all right?"
The sound of his voice seemed to bring her out of herself; she shrugged and answered in a flat tone, "I'm fine. Why are you here, Severus?"
This total lack of animation was so unlike her, he found himself becoming more worried by the moment. "I was hoping we could have dinner together. It's been a while since we talked."
"I didn't think you wanted to talk to me anymore," she said in a small voice. She turned away from him and walked over to the table and sat down.
He followed her and sat across from her. "I know it must have seemed that way, but it's not true. It's now my turn to apologize to you. I've been preoccupied with my own thoughts, and haven't realized that my behavior has caused you pain. I've always been a solitary person, Evangeline. I'm not used to considering the feelings of others. Can you forgive me for hurting you?"
Evangeline felt warmth spreading through her for the first time in days. Tears sprang to her eyes, but she blinked them away. She had to be careful not to read too much into this apology, though. One step at a time, talking was so much better than not talking, after all.
She gave him a small twisted smile. "You're asking for my forgiveness, Severus? How could you ever live it down if someone heard you?"
He snorted and smiled wryly back. "I'll have to chance it, I suppose. I really only care that you heard me. Can you accept my apology, Evangeline?"
"If I can have your friendship and good opinion, Severus, then I'm content. Of course, I accept your apology." She paused to collect herself. "I can understand how it is for people who aren't used to relying on others. I've been basically on my own since I was 13 years old when my mother died."
This statement caused a look of pain to flit across his features. "I'm truly sorry about that, Evangeline."
She sighed and tried to smile at him. "That was over and done with many years ago. It does no good to be thinking about it now. Anyway, that's enough gloom and doom for the moment, isn't it? Let's try to find something more pleasant to talk about. I don't want to dwell on the past anymore. How are your classes going?"
He snorted as he reached for the food to put some on both of their plates. "I thought you wanted to talk about something pleasant."
"Oh, come on, it can't be that bad. Tell me, has that girl who bumped into you at the ball, started to moon over you, yet?"
He shook his head. "Fortunately, no. She doesn't seem to have changed her opinion of me."
"Well, I can't understand that at all. You looked so handsome in that outfit. If you were my teacher, I'd be sending you anonymous love notes and batting my eyelashes at you over my cauldron."
He raised an eyebrow and glared mockingly at her. "Then it's a good thing that I'm not your teacher, isn't it?"
She smiled fondly at him. "Yes, it is. I much prefer you to be my friend."