Chapter One: In which there is singing and an emotional discussion.
***
"Oh, I'm a space captain, and I don't care! I don't care! I con't care-"
"Could you stop that? I don't need another reason for my ears to bleed."
"Fuck you. It's your fault we're out here."
"How do you figure that?"
"Gee, let's think. "We could be pirates! I have family who'll rescue us!"
It's your fault."
"You're the one who didn't wanna step up and babysit."
"Nate, it was Franklin Richards. His last babysitter got blown up by Red
Skull!"
"That was never proven, and even if it's true, you could take him."
"Given, but she was a S.H.E.I.L.D. agent. She had *some* training."
"She was also hot for Sue's younger brother, but that's not important. You
were the one who told me to come up with ideas and *you're* the one who
agreed to a stint with the Starjammers."
"Your other options were "Get sent to AdMax" and "threaten to take over the
world"."
"You HAD to ask after three bottles of strawberry vodka, didn't you?"
"Timing, asshole. TIMING. And how can you drink that shit? It's paint
thinner."
"Kind of the point. Anyway, *you're* the one who thought fooling around in
the escape pod would be fun and exciting."
"I didn't hear any complaints when your hands were down my shirt."
"And it wasn't my butt that landed on the switch."
"A fact of which I'm intimately aware. That switch now knows me better in
some places than you do."
"Are you okay? You didn't say anything..."
"I'll live. Besides, there's nothing we can really do until we get back to
the ship. Any ideas on how that's gonna happen?"
"Well, the trans initializer's busted and we're too far out for me to get
Chris telepathically. We just have to wait until someone notices we're gone."
"Shit. That could take days."
"Good thing the air and water recyclers are working. And the MRE's are better
than nothing."
"Says the man who can happily eat slime. But true. Were were we off to
again?"
"Cintaran IV. Shi'Ar shippment of guns and prisoners bound for one of the
work colonies."
"He's hitting a frigate!?"
"No, small transport. Cintaran's low security and pretty small."
"Mmm. At lwast he's backing off the private contracts. I still can't believe
that last one."
"Heh. Yeah, I think I saw Chris's eye twitch when we unloaded the cargo."
"Who knew tapioca pudding mix was such a delicacy?"
"It wasn't *exactly* tapioca..."
"Ha!"
"It was more rice pudding."
"It's scary how much that guy paid us for it."
"You're complaining?"
"No... it's just weird."
"Religions make holy objects out of the strangest things..."
"You did *not* just leave that open for me..."
"Huh?"
"*giggle* Moron. You and pudding have so much in common these days. Religious
status... higher brain functions..."
"Wench."
"You want it. And I reserve my right to make comments as they spring to
mind."
"..."
"Eh. So, how'd the last communication to the mansion go?"
"Jean and Scott are good. Storm had her baby."
"Oh. Forge's right?"
"Yup. Seven pound baby boy. Black hair, black eyes, and quiet as a mouse on
by all acounts. Oh... Sam was there."
"And you didn't come find me? Asshole."
"I was surprised too. He was supposed to be in San Francisco, but he came out
to New York to drop Terry off. She was going to visit her old man."
"Oh? Terry was going to visit Sean?"
"Yeah. Sam mentioned that she's been worried about him."
"Irish still in Ireland?"
"That's rather a given, isn't it?"
"Bite me. He's still really down about Moira?"
"I'd imagine so. Did you know he didn't even hear about it until after the
funeral? Jean told me that he called the mansion asking to talk to her later
that week. Hey, you okay?"
"...yeah. Fine, why?"
"You are not."
"Am too."
"Now you sound five."
"Shit head."
"Okay, fine. You sound like a five-year-old with turrette's. Spill."
"Damn. I don't know. I guess it just sort of hit me how that could have
happened with you."
"That no one would have called you?"
"Yeah."
"Sam would have."
"Maybe. But I think Sean probably thought that about Charles. We weren't
exactly close for a long time there, Nate."
"I know. That's one of my bigger regrets."
"What is, is, right?"
"Flonq that. I should have gone after you."
"Idiot. You did."
"Sooner."
"You had stuff to do. Besides, it worked out, right?"
"If you call being on the lamb from babysitting duties of a god and being
stuck in the middle of no where in a lifepod roughly the size of our bedroom
working out alright, then yes. We're doing quite well."
"Umm, hmmm. You know what else was in our old bedroom?"
"The bed?"
"Yesss..."
"You're trying to avoid the subject."
"Am not."
"... That really worries you? That if I died no one would call you?"
"Dammit. Nate, how would you feel? If you went along thinking that me or the
kids were fine, and then, out of the blue, you find out we'd been dead for
over a month or a week, or whatever? Wouldn't you be pissed that no one even
bothered to remember you long enough to let you know?"
"I'd know."
"Because I'd- what?"
"I'd know. If you died, I'd know."
"Maybe-"
"No, I'd know it because even if you don't want it, there's a little piece of
you that I always carry around with me. It's here, in my head, and here. I
will *always* know because I'll never let either of those pieces get lost."
"You are so getting some."
"You just love me for my adjustable wonky."
***
"Oh, I'm a space captain, and I don't care! I don't care! I con't care-"
"Could you stop that? I don't need another reason for my ears to bleed."
"Fuck you. It's your fault we're out here."
"How do you figure that?"
"Gee, let's think. "We could be pirates! I have family who'll rescue us!"
It's your fault."
"You're the one who didn't wanna step up and babysit."
"Nate, it was Franklin Richards. His last babysitter got blown up by Red
Skull!"
"That was never proven, and even if it's true, you could take him."
"Given, but she was a S.H.E.I.L.D. agent. She had *some* training."
"She was also hot for Sue's younger brother, but that's not important. You
were the one who told me to come up with ideas and *you're* the one who
agreed to a stint with the Starjammers."
"Your other options were "Get sent to AdMax" and "threaten to take over the
world"."
"You HAD to ask after three bottles of strawberry vodka, didn't you?"
"Timing, asshole. TIMING. And how can you drink that shit? It's paint
thinner."
"Kind of the point. Anyway, *you're* the one who thought fooling around in
the escape pod would be fun and exciting."
"I didn't hear any complaints when your hands were down my shirt."
"And it wasn't my butt that landed on the switch."
"A fact of which I'm intimately aware. That switch now knows me better in
some places than you do."
"Are you okay? You didn't say anything..."
"I'll live. Besides, there's nothing we can really do until we get back to
the ship. Any ideas on how that's gonna happen?"
"Well, the trans initializer's busted and we're too far out for me to get
Chris telepathically. We just have to wait until someone notices we're gone."
"Shit. That could take days."
"Good thing the air and water recyclers are working. And the MRE's are better
than nothing."
"Says the man who can happily eat slime. But true. Were were we off to
again?"
"Cintaran IV. Shi'Ar shippment of guns and prisoners bound for one of the
work colonies."
"He's hitting a frigate!?"
"No, small transport. Cintaran's low security and pretty small."
"Mmm. At lwast he's backing off the private contracts. I still can't believe
that last one."
"Heh. Yeah, I think I saw Chris's eye twitch when we unloaded the cargo."
"Who knew tapioca pudding mix was such a delicacy?"
"It wasn't *exactly* tapioca..."
"Ha!"
"It was more rice pudding."
"It's scary how much that guy paid us for it."
"You're complaining?"
"No... it's just weird."
"Religions make holy objects out of the strangest things..."
"You did *not* just leave that open for me..."
"Huh?"
"*giggle* Moron. You and pudding have so much in common these days. Religious
status... higher brain functions..."
"Wench."
"You want it. And I reserve my right to make comments as they spring to
mind."
"..."
"Eh. So, how'd the last communication to the mansion go?"
"Jean and Scott are good. Storm had her baby."
"Oh. Forge's right?"
"Yup. Seven pound baby boy. Black hair, black eyes, and quiet as a mouse on
by all acounts. Oh... Sam was there."
"And you didn't come find me? Asshole."
"I was surprised too. He was supposed to be in San Francisco, but he came out
to New York to drop Terry off. She was going to visit her old man."
"Oh? Terry was going to visit Sean?"
"Yeah. Sam mentioned that she's been worried about him."
"Irish still in Ireland?"
"That's rather a given, isn't it?"
"Bite me. He's still really down about Moira?"
"I'd imagine so. Did you know he didn't even hear about it until after the
funeral? Jean told me that he called the mansion asking to talk to her later
that week. Hey, you okay?"
"...yeah. Fine, why?"
"You are not."
"Am too."
"Now you sound five."
"Shit head."
"Okay, fine. You sound like a five-year-old with turrette's. Spill."
"Damn. I don't know. I guess it just sort of hit me how that could have
happened with you."
"That no one would have called you?"
"Yeah."
"Sam would have."
"Maybe. But I think Sean probably thought that about Charles. We weren't
exactly close for a long time there, Nate."
"I know. That's one of my bigger regrets."
"What is, is, right?"
"Flonq that. I should have gone after you."
"Idiot. You did."
"Sooner."
"You had stuff to do. Besides, it worked out, right?"
"If you call being on the lamb from babysitting duties of a god and being
stuck in the middle of no where in a lifepod roughly the size of our bedroom
working out alright, then yes. We're doing quite well."
"Umm, hmmm. You know what else was in our old bedroom?"
"The bed?"
"Yesss..."
"You're trying to avoid the subject."
"Am not."
"... That really worries you? That if I died no one would call you?"
"Dammit. Nate, how would you feel? If you went along thinking that me or the
kids were fine, and then, out of the blue, you find out we'd been dead for
over a month or a week, or whatever? Wouldn't you be pissed that no one even
bothered to remember you long enough to let you know?"
"I'd know."
"Because I'd- what?"
"I'd know. If you died, I'd know."
"Maybe-"
"No, I'd know it because even if you don't want it, there's a little piece of
you that I always carry around with me. It's here, in my head, and here. I
will *always* know because I'll never let either of those pieces get lost."
"You are so getting some."
"You just love me for my adjustable wonky."