Chapter 10: Tastes Just Like Chicken
"Here's your host, George Lucas!" Ed McMahon announced.
"Hello everyone, and welcome to Cook-Off-Duel-Of-Death, the only show where two contestants cook to the death," George announced. "Today's contestants are Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Darth Gin. Obi, tell me a little about yourself."
"Well, my name is Obi-Wan, and I'm gonna give that caped maniac, Darth Gin, the wupping he deserves," Obi-Wan announced.
"Ok," George replied. "Darth Gin, why don't you tell us a little about yourself?"
"My name is Darth Gin, and I am a Dark Lord of the Sith. Don't call me Qui- Gon!" Darth Gin. "And Obi-Wan, you're the only maniac here!"
"Ok," George replied. "Now, let's start the show with four famous words, contestants, start your fires!"
The air exploded with fire as Obi-Wan and Darth Gin tossed lit matches onto their cooking appliances.
"We have Obi-Wan with a gas grill, cooking baby-back ribs and baked potatoes," George announced. "While on the other side, we have Darth Gin with an oven cooking a nice tuna and liver casserole."
"Obi-Wan seems to be going for the death by charcoal approach, George," Rick McCallum announced from the announcer booth.
"Yah, Rick," George replied as he entered the booth. "Darth Gin, on the other hand, seems to think that he will be able to survive eating the severely burned ribs, and wants to kill Obi-Wan by making him eat the casserole."
"I'm betting on Obi-Wan. That temple food has got to be worse than what Gin is cooking, and if Obi-Wan survived that, he can survive the casserole," Rick announced.
"I have got to go with Gin on this one, Rick," George announced. "The tuna and liver casserole is one of the secret weapons of the sith. The Jedi don't even have the recipe."
Suddenly water sprayed across the set, putting out Obi-Wan's grill.
"It looks like Gin has put out Obi's grill, Rick," George announced.
Suddenly a blue light saber blade flared up through the smoke. A rush of flame emerged from the blade and shot towards Darth Gin, scorching him.
"Looks like Obi-Wan used his saber to restart his grill and to help overcook his ribs," Rick announced.
"Is that legal?" George asked.
"It's perfectly legal," Rick replied.
Suddenly a buzzer sounded, and George yelled, "Time is up!"
Sprinklers sprayed across the set, putting out the fires, and the air filters sucked up all the smoke. As the smoke finally cleared, the audience began clapping, seeing that the entire set had been demolished.
"Now, let's see your food," George announced. "Hmmm, it seems that your casserole has been reduced to ash, Darth Gin. You must have taken it out when Obi-Wan restarted his grill. Now, Obi-Wan, it seems that your ribs have been perfectly overcooked. Now it is time for the final part of the show. You both must now eat the other contestant's meal."
Obi-Wan reached for Darth Gin's casserole dish of ashes, and swallowed the whole thing in one gulp.
Smiling, Obi-Wan announced, "Tastes just like chicken!"
Darth Gin reached for Obi-Wan's scorched baby-back ribs and took a deep breath. He knew that he most likely would not survive eating them. He took the ribs, and ate them all at once, shoving them down his throat. He swallowed, and then smiled. They had been pretty good. And then his face began to turn purple. And then green. And then neon orange.
"What did you do?" Darth Gin asked.
"You should know," Obi-Wan replied. "It's your recipe."
"You used the sacred death rib recipe?" Darth Gin gasped as he died.
"Sure did," Obi-Wan replied.
As Obi-Wan walked offstage, Ed McMahon yelled, "We have a winner!"
"Here's your host, George Lucas!" Ed McMahon announced.
"Hello everyone, and welcome to Cook-Off-Duel-Of-Death, the only show where two contestants cook to the death," George announced. "Today's contestants are Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Darth Gin. Obi, tell me a little about yourself."
"Well, my name is Obi-Wan, and I'm gonna give that caped maniac, Darth Gin, the wupping he deserves," Obi-Wan announced.
"Ok," George replied. "Darth Gin, why don't you tell us a little about yourself?"
"My name is Darth Gin, and I am a Dark Lord of the Sith. Don't call me Qui- Gon!" Darth Gin. "And Obi-Wan, you're the only maniac here!"
"Ok," George replied. "Now, let's start the show with four famous words, contestants, start your fires!"
The air exploded with fire as Obi-Wan and Darth Gin tossed lit matches onto their cooking appliances.
"We have Obi-Wan with a gas grill, cooking baby-back ribs and baked potatoes," George announced. "While on the other side, we have Darth Gin with an oven cooking a nice tuna and liver casserole."
"Obi-Wan seems to be going for the death by charcoal approach, George," Rick McCallum announced from the announcer booth.
"Yah, Rick," George replied as he entered the booth. "Darth Gin, on the other hand, seems to think that he will be able to survive eating the severely burned ribs, and wants to kill Obi-Wan by making him eat the casserole."
"I'm betting on Obi-Wan. That temple food has got to be worse than what Gin is cooking, and if Obi-Wan survived that, he can survive the casserole," Rick announced.
"I have got to go with Gin on this one, Rick," George announced. "The tuna and liver casserole is one of the secret weapons of the sith. The Jedi don't even have the recipe."
Suddenly water sprayed across the set, putting out Obi-Wan's grill.
"It looks like Gin has put out Obi's grill, Rick," George announced.
Suddenly a blue light saber blade flared up through the smoke. A rush of flame emerged from the blade and shot towards Darth Gin, scorching him.
"Looks like Obi-Wan used his saber to restart his grill and to help overcook his ribs," Rick announced.
"Is that legal?" George asked.
"It's perfectly legal," Rick replied.
Suddenly a buzzer sounded, and George yelled, "Time is up!"
Sprinklers sprayed across the set, putting out the fires, and the air filters sucked up all the smoke. As the smoke finally cleared, the audience began clapping, seeing that the entire set had been demolished.
"Now, let's see your food," George announced. "Hmmm, it seems that your casserole has been reduced to ash, Darth Gin. You must have taken it out when Obi-Wan restarted his grill. Now, Obi-Wan, it seems that your ribs have been perfectly overcooked. Now it is time for the final part of the show. You both must now eat the other contestant's meal."
Obi-Wan reached for Darth Gin's casserole dish of ashes, and swallowed the whole thing in one gulp.
Smiling, Obi-Wan announced, "Tastes just like chicken!"
Darth Gin reached for Obi-Wan's scorched baby-back ribs and took a deep breath. He knew that he most likely would not survive eating them. He took the ribs, and ate them all at once, shoving them down his throat. He swallowed, and then smiled. They had been pretty good. And then his face began to turn purple. And then green. And then neon orange.
"What did you do?" Darth Gin asked.
"You should know," Obi-Wan replied. "It's your recipe."
"You used the sacred death rib recipe?" Darth Gin gasped as he died.
"Sure did," Obi-Wan replied.
As Obi-Wan walked offstage, Ed McMahon yelled, "We have a winner!"