Chapter Three: In which happy endings are discussed.
***
"You know something?"
"Several things."
"This-" *poke* "-is weird."
"My shoulder?"
"Mmmhmm. It's soft. You have a baby's ass on your shoulder."
"That's... really unappealing. It makes sense. That skin hasn't really seen
the light of day since I was an infant."
"You know, I don't say it all that much, but the fact that you're technically
five years old is rather insane."
"Don't like being a cradle-robber, huh?"
"Lout. Who's the cradle-robber?"
"Is it my fault you look that good in spandex?"
"You are a lecherous old, goat, aren't you?"
"It's why you're here..."
"Mmm, you do know how to use those hands. *squeak!* ASS!"
"Hey, no hitting!"
"Don't do that! You know I'm ticklish there!"
"Ow! Stoppit! I'm sorry! It's just you're so cute when you make that noise."
*GRUNT*
"You're so cute when you make that noise!"
"I really am a masochist."
"Hmm? Why the belated admission."
"I'm spending happily ever after with a woman who likes to beat me and feed
me MRE's. I think that qualifies me."
"...."
"Dom? You okay? You got quiet pretty quick there. I know, you don't mean
it..."
"No. I don't. But that's not it."
"What? Tell me."
"It's the other thing you said. The 'happily ever after' bit. We are, aren't
we?"
"I'd like to think so. I mean, right now we aren't in the best of conditions,
but you're here. So I'm happy. And I feel reasonably safe in saying that this
is the 'after' bit."
"Yeah. I guess."
"You don't sound to sure."
"No, I am. I'm with you, and we're okay. And blood-boiling death aside, outer
space is the safest place we've been in a really long time. The only people
who want us dead mean it in a very general sort of sense."
"As opposed to our legions of enemies on Earth?"
"Pretty much."
"What is wrong?"
"Shit. Nothing. We stumbled into a fucking happy ending, Nate. We aren't
built for those."
"Why not?"
"Because we aren't. We're the ones who die."
"That's not very optimistic."
"Fuck you. I'm not feeling optimistic. I'm feeling lost and confused."
"But you're happy?"
"I sure ain't sad. And that's what scares me. We're not meant for this."
"We're not meant for anything. We follow a path but we make our own choices."
"Maybe. But seems to me, that certain people's paths lead to happiness and
others lead to blood and shit. Guess which one I've seen more of?"
"Then why shouldn't you get the other?"
"Because it's too different. I can deal with the other one. It's not easy, or
fun, but it's familiar. Old dog, new tricks."
"Even if you're not old anymore?"
"I'm old, Nate. I may not look it, but I feel it. Behind the eyes and
deeper."
"Where it matters."
"Yeah. Where it matters."
"Why has this got you so bothered?"
"We're supposed to be fucking dead. I don't know what to *do* because we
aren't... and I don't want to."
"Die?"
"Yeah."
"But what's the big deal about now? You wanted to die before?"
"Shit, no. It's just... Before, there wasn't really a question. You were
gonna do this big heroic swan dive while avenging your future and wife and
son. It was this huge thing that was hanging over you and me and anything
that we might have had."
"Dom..."
"No, let me finish. I *know* it was something you had to do. That's my
fucking point. And then there was me in all my messed up glory doing
absolutely everything I could to just survive. I haven't told you much of
what went on during the times I wasn't with you. You know that right?"
"Yeah. I didn't push, because I didn't think you wanted me to."
"No. I wouldn't have said a word even if you had. Mostly because I didn't
want to believe I'd done some of the stuff I did."
"Was it bad?"
"We all have our demons, right? The point is, I was doing all this stupid
shit because there wasn't a thing in my life that I remembered or cared about
except what we'd made. And I just knew that you were going to have to leave
and do your big important thing and leave me and the kids."
"Dom, I-"
"No, it's okay. Damn, this is getting maudlin. It wasn't all you, Nate. I had
absolutely nothing in my life. Just that. But I *knew* it. So it really
didn't matter."
"Yes it did."
"No... it didn't. Shit, I was thirty-eight years old. It was fucking amazing
I'd made it that long. Don't go making this all about you, lunk head. I'm
responsible for my own issues. I'm just saying that having this life handed
to me is just really fucking weird. And that I have no idea what we're
supposed to do with it."
"I'd say we're doing okay."
"Yeah... But are we gonna do this for the next five years? Ten? What are we
gonna do when looting Shi'Ar military transports and blowing shit up gets
boring?"
"Blowing stuff up never gets boring, and you know that."
"Fine. What about the rest though? We suddenly have ALL this time..."
"Dom, we always had time."
"No we didn't."
"Yes, we did."
"Explain it to me, asshole. We *didn't*. You had to go give Apocalypse an
atomic wedgie, and you can't tell me you expected to walk away."
"No, I didn't. But we had time."
"*How*?"
"Wench, I'm a chrono-variant mutant. I could have found a way."
"To what? Raise 2.5 kids with a dog, a cat and a minivan?"
"Maybe. Whatever you wanted."
"But that's what I've been trying to tell you! We have it now, and I don't
know what to do!"
"No one every does."
"But we're different!"
"How?"
"Because we killed people for money! We have enemies who could destroy a
fucking star-system! And when it comes down to the very bones of it all, I
have no idea who I even am."
"What do you mean you don't know who you are?"
"I mean, I don't know who I *am*. What happened to me before I woke up in the
pits? Do I have parents? Was I popped out of a clone tube? Because stranger
things have happened. Shit, Nate, for all I know, I could be your
*grandmother*."
"I'd like to think Chris would have commented on any shocking similarities."
"...stop trying to make me feel better."
"Look, I have no idea how to even begin to respond to this, Dom, but-"
"Nate-"
"No. It's my turn now. But I know who you are. I know you're a beautiful,
strong woman who's terrified because things are going right for once. I also
know you're a person who's scraped herself and her life off the pavement more
times than should be allowed. But most of all, I know that even after ALL of
the shit I've pulled, you came back. So I know you're the woman I love."
*sniff* "Asshole."
"You just can't take a compliment, can you?"
"No. But I can fuck you stupid instead."
*grin* "Too late."
***
"You know something?"
"Several things."
"This-" *poke* "-is weird."
"My shoulder?"
"Mmmhmm. It's soft. You have a baby's ass on your shoulder."
"That's... really unappealing. It makes sense. That skin hasn't really seen
the light of day since I was an infant."
"You know, I don't say it all that much, but the fact that you're technically
five years old is rather insane."
"Don't like being a cradle-robber, huh?"
"Lout. Who's the cradle-robber?"
"Is it my fault you look that good in spandex?"
"You are a lecherous old, goat, aren't you?"
"It's why you're here..."
"Mmm, you do know how to use those hands. *squeak!* ASS!"
"Hey, no hitting!"
"Don't do that! You know I'm ticklish there!"
"Ow! Stoppit! I'm sorry! It's just you're so cute when you make that noise."
*GRUNT*
"You're so cute when you make that noise!"
"I really am a masochist."
"Hmm? Why the belated admission."
"I'm spending happily ever after with a woman who likes to beat me and feed
me MRE's. I think that qualifies me."
"...."
"Dom? You okay? You got quiet pretty quick there. I know, you don't mean
it..."
"No. I don't. But that's not it."
"What? Tell me."
"It's the other thing you said. The 'happily ever after' bit. We are, aren't
we?"
"I'd like to think so. I mean, right now we aren't in the best of conditions,
but you're here. So I'm happy. And I feel reasonably safe in saying that this
is the 'after' bit."
"Yeah. I guess."
"You don't sound to sure."
"No, I am. I'm with you, and we're okay. And blood-boiling death aside, outer
space is the safest place we've been in a really long time. The only people
who want us dead mean it in a very general sort of sense."
"As opposed to our legions of enemies on Earth?"
"Pretty much."
"What is wrong?"
"Shit. Nothing. We stumbled into a fucking happy ending, Nate. We aren't
built for those."
"Why not?"
"Because we aren't. We're the ones who die."
"That's not very optimistic."
"Fuck you. I'm not feeling optimistic. I'm feeling lost and confused."
"But you're happy?"
"I sure ain't sad. And that's what scares me. We're not meant for this."
"We're not meant for anything. We follow a path but we make our own choices."
"Maybe. But seems to me, that certain people's paths lead to happiness and
others lead to blood and shit. Guess which one I've seen more of?"
"Then why shouldn't you get the other?"
"Because it's too different. I can deal with the other one. It's not easy, or
fun, but it's familiar. Old dog, new tricks."
"Even if you're not old anymore?"
"I'm old, Nate. I may not look it, but I feel it. Behind the eyes and
deeper."
"Where it matters."
"Yeah. Where it matters."
"Why has this got you so bothered?"
"We're supposed to be fucking dead. I don't know what to *do* because we
aren't... and I don't want to."
"Die?"
"Yeah."
"But what's the big deal about now? You wanted to die before?"
"Shit, no. It's just... Before, there wasn't really a question. You were
gonna do this big heroic swan dive while avenging your future and wife and
son. It was this huge thing that was hanging over you and me and anything
that we might have had."
"Dom..."
"No, let me finish. I *know* it was something you had to do. That's my
fucking point. And then there was me in all my messed up glory doing
absolutely everything I could to just survive. I haven't told you much of
what went on during the times I wasn't with you. You know that right?"
"Yeah. I didn't push, because I didn't think you wanted me to."
"No. I wouldn't have said a word even if you had. Mostly because I didn't
want to believe I'd done some of the stuff I did."
"Was it bad?"
"We all have our demons, right? The point is, I was doing all this stupid
shit because there wasn't a thing in my life that I remembered or cared about
except what we'd made. And I just knew that you were going to have to leave
and do your big important thing and leave me and the kids."
"Dom, I-"
"No, it's okay. Damn, this is getting maudlin. It wasn't all you, Nate. I had
absolutely nothing in my life. Just that. But I *knew* it. So it really
didn't matter."
"Yes it did."
"No... it didn't. Shit, I was thirty-eight years old. It was fucking amazing
I'd made it that long. Don't go making this all about you, lunk head. I'm
responsible for my own issues. I'm just saying that having this life handed
to me is just really fucking weird. And that I have no idea what we're
supposed to do with it."
"I'd say we're doing okay."
"Yeah... But are we gonna do this for the next five years? Ten? What are we
gonna do when looting Shi'Ar military transports and blowing shit up gets
boring?"
"Blowing stuff up never gets boring, and you know that."
"Fine. What about the rest though? We suddenly have ALL this time..."
"Dom, we always had time."
"No we didn't."
"Yes, we did."
"Explain it to me, asshole. We *didn't*. You had to go give Apocalypse an
atomic wedgie, and you can't tell me you expected to walk away."
"No, I didn't. But we had time."
"*How*?"
"Wench, I'm a chrono-variant mutant. I could have found a way."
"To what? Raise 2.5 kids with a dog, a cat and a minivan?"
"Maybe. Whatever you wanted."
"But that's what I've been trying to tell you! We have it now, and I don't
know what to do!"
"No one every does."
"But we're different!"
"How?"
"Because we killed people for money! We have enemies who could destroy a
fucking star-system! And when it comes down to the very bones of it all, I
have no idea who I even am."
"What do you mean you don't know who you are?"
"I mean, I don't know who I *am*. What happened to me before I woke up in the
pits? Do I have parents? Was I popped out of a clone tube? Because stranger
things have happened. Shit, Nate, for all I know, I could be your
*grandmother*."
"I'd like to think Chris would have commented on any shocking similarities."
"...stop trying to make me feel better."
"Look, I have no idea how to even begin to respond to this, Dom, but-"
"Nate-"
"No. It's my turn now. But I know who you are. I know you're a beautiful,
strong woman who's terrified because things are going right for once. I also
know you're a person who's scraped herself and her life off the pavement more
times than should be allowed. But most of all, I know that even after ALL of
the shit I've pulled, you came back. So I know you're the woman I love."
*sniff* "Asshole."
"You just can't take a compliment, can you?"
"No. But I can fuck you stupid instead."
*grin* "Too late."