Good evening, All:)
OK. Feel free to call me the queen of pain after this. I even cried writing the chapter and I knew what was going to happen. This is the third of the William flash-forward chapters. There will be one more after this.
This is *not* the end of the story. Merely one more path that this child, this family, could follow. But it is not necessarily *the* path. Don't worry, it will all fall together in the end. Promise.
In the meantime, this is a double chocolate bar and maybe a shot of your favourite liquid numb-er chapter. Break out the kleenex and I will be waiting for you to throw fruits and various meats. Try to bear with me and see what is happening here. It will make you appreciate the outcome all the more.
Enjoy and let me know how you feel (have a feeling you will anyway ;)).
*Cheery Vibes*, Nimue
"As sick as it sounds, in my little head, there's a little Sunnydale, and a widdle Buffy, and a widdle Spike, and Spike wubs Buffy." James Marsters 14 July 2002
Title: Abandoning the Cause (Time - Chapter Sixteen)
Author: Nimue
Rating: PG -13
Pairing Buffy/Spike. Most major characters included.
Feedback: Yes, please
For instant notification of fic releases, straight to your mailbox, please visit Always_Everyday@yahoogroups.com
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, UPN, Fox... Just Borrowing. (with, of course, the exception of Emma and William, who belong to Buffy and Spike)
Summary: Set immediately following Dreaming. This is the third of four William flash forward chapters. A look into a possible future for the son of the Vampire and the Slayer. Will this path be the answer? If one can learn their potential fates, can one effect the outcome of their lives? William is about to learn another lesson in Time.
Abandoning the Cause
The lights were lazy now. Less sparkling. Less true. They bobbled past in blind anonymity, brushing him with annoying lackadaisical burns. The blackness was blacker. The lights dimmer. Bleak.
But the crash was all the same.
"Will?" It was a clear child's voice. Musical. Rich. "Will, you OK?"
Slowly, he opened teary, blue eyes and nodded from his spot on the floor. The girl walked over, scooping him up in gangly arms and setting him gently on his big boy bed.
"I fell," the boy said, shyly.
"Have a nightmare?" She asked, sitting down next to him. He nodded, his blond hair falling around his face. "They're not real, you know. Just bad dreams." She stroked his hair, trying to comfort the little boy. He seemed so... lost.
"Mommy dies," he said quietly, never looking at her. "And daddy." He didn't tell her that she died too. Even at four, he understood that it was just cruel.
"They're fine, Will," Emma comforted, ruffling his hair.
"Not now." His voice was distant. Cold. "Late."
Emma shuddered, the dragon of fear creeping up her spine. "No, they don't, Will," she gushed as if trying to convince herself. "Dad!" She screamed the last word. "Dad!"
Heavy footsteps barreled up the stairs, followed by a softer pair from down the hall. "Dad!" Emma screamed again.
"What? What is it, Mite?" Spike panted, appearing in the doorway as if from thin air.
Tears began to stream down her face. The little boy stared off at the wall, blankly. "Will... Will says that you're going to *die*! Tell him he's wrong, Daddy."
Spike walked into the room, sighing. Buffy followed, overhearing from the hallway. "Mite, we all do sooner or later," he answered, sitting on the edge of William's bed and pulling the little girl into his lap. "Gotta make room for the newer models."
Emma looked up at his face, wide-eyed as Buffy settled next to them, pulling the numb boy against her. Rocking him. "Not now?" The little girl pouted.
"No, Mite," Spike whispered, pushing a blonde curl from her eyes. "Stuck with us a while, yet."
Emma buried her face in her father's shirt, sobbing. Tears of fear. Tears of relief. Anything. Parents just didn't *die*.
"Will?" Buffy asked, pulling the boy away enough to see his face. He stared at her intently, listening. "Why do you think we're going to die?"
"B'coz the shadows," he answered, still caught in her green gaze.
"Shadows?" Spike asked, rubbing Emma's back to calm her.
"They're dark," William answered, clinging to his mother, his face cold and lifeless.
"Do you remember where? How?" Buffy asked, brushing his hair away from his face. The little boy shook his head.
"Mommy, it's dark there," he whispered, his eyes frightened but strangely detached.
"OK, baby," she answered, pulling him back against her chest. Buffy looked at Spike. Concern had spread across his features. Slayer dream inherited? Little boy's nightmare after accidentally seeing his mum and dad come home covered in demon blood? No way to tell. Not yet.
"Emma?" Spike questioned quietly. She lifted her head just enough to look up at him. "D'you think maybe Will could take a nap with your Bunny? Seems the bad dreams don't come then."
Emma looked over at her mother and the huddled form of her little brother, weighing the loss in her head. "Ok," she finally sighed. "But can I have him back before bed?"
"That you can, Mite," Spike answered, setting her on the floor. "Why don't you go fetch him and when you're back, I'll take you for ice cream."
Emma smiled through her tears. "You wanna talk to Mum?" She chuckled. "But I still want ice cream."
Spike smirked at her. "Go."
William still clung to Buffy as Emma trotted out of the room. "Nightmare?" Buffy mouthed over William's head. Spike shrugged, smoothing the boy's hair. William was strangely quiet. Still. "He's been having them a lot," Buffy continued wordlessly.
"We'll talk to the Watchers," Spike answered, no sound escaping his lips. "Will?" He asked, audibly this time.
The boy turned his head, staring up at his father. "You know we're not going anywhere, your mum and me. Alright?" Spike's face was sincere, hoping upon hopes that he could keep the promise he made to his son.
William nodded. "Late," he said softly. Spike's head titled, questioning him, but the little boy yawned and buried his head in the crook of Buffy's arm.
"Wanna nap, Slugger?" She asked, stretching out, still cradling the boy against her chest. "I'll stay with you."
Emma reappeared with the Bunny. The Slayer of childhood nightmares. Reverently, she handed it to her father. Spike leaned forward, sliding the little rabbit between William and Buffy. The boy's arms wound around the toy, settling him.
"Sleep well," Spike whispered, kissing Buffy's nose and ruffling William's blond mop. Emma grabbed his hand and led him out the door.
*****
They barely registered anymore. The lights. More like flickers in the darkness. Or maybe he just didn't care anymore. Not really. Not like they illuminated anything. Just there.
"Will?" A gentle voice chimed in his ear.
"Hunh?" He opened his eyes with a start, searching his surroundings. William had been asleep, leaned against a tree on the side of the school. A book sat open in his lap. Salinger.
"You need to sleep more at night," the girl joked, smiling and sitting down next to him. She may have been a freshman, a year his junior, but she had always been his equal. Always saw him. About the only person he had nothing against. "Still having nightmares?"
"Did I ever stop?" William asked, grabbing an apple from her bag lunch and helping himself.
"Guess not," she chuckled. "And feel free to eat my snacks." He smiled at her, those perfect, glittering blue eyes melting her chocolate ones and turning the freshman into a puddle. Her hair blew in rich, dark waves around her face. Lovely. Not in the same manner as his mum or Emma. But dark and exotic and rich.
"River?" William asked, scanning her lithe body, his fifteen-year-old hormones reeking havoc on his composure.
"What?" She asked, leaning against him and unwrapping a candy bar.
"Don't you ever just want to get out of here? Blow this town?" Will asked, taking a bite of the apple.
She laughed, rich and lyrical. "Will, you're *fifteen*. I'm *fourteen*. What are we going to do? Ride our bikes and start a child detective agency?" She nibbled at the chocolate, watching him with an amused expression. "Besides, you're from like... the Kennedy's of the Hellmouth."
"Exactly my point," he huffed, sitting up straight. She toppled against his hip, her balance skewed by the quick motion. Gently, he lifted her head, settling it against his thigh as she looked up at the sky. They'd known each other for as long as either could remember. That's what happens when your parents are best friends.
"Sick of being part of it," Will continued. "Nothing I can do. Of no use to them. I mean, Buffy and Spike..."
"A.K.A., you mom and dad," River joked.
William humphed. "*Emma's* parents," he corrected.
"Oh, come on! They love you and you *know* it," River fought back.
"Love," William stated as if on stage. "Meaningless when they'll all be gone soon."
River sat up to face him, curling her legs under her like a newborn filly. "You *don't* actually believe that, do you?"
William nodded solemnly. "And I can't do a thing about it. Neither can you."
"That's bleak," she sighed, falling back against his thighs. Absently, he smoothed her wild brown hair from her face.
"S'life, Pet," he whispered. "And I am not planning on being round to see it end."
River focused up at him. "Even if it *was* true," she began. "What makes you think that you couldn't help? Besides your parents, you're probably the best fighter of all of us."
"Not enough," William responded, winding a tendril of her hair around his finger.
"And you're really good at the whole computer research-y thing," River continued.
"Won't matter," William answered. "If I am here, We.All.Die."
"So, you just leave?" River asked, her hands wrapping though his.
Will stared down at her pretty face. She looked sad. Alone. "Not yet, Riv."
"Good," she smiled, snuggling into his leg. "I've got time to convince you you're nuts."
"Hey guys," another voice chimed from the distance. Will didn't have to look to know it was his sister. River sat back up, glancing around the tree.
"Hey, Emma," she beamed, watching William's sister walk towards them. Everyone beamed when they saw Emma.
Emma was... perfect. Beautiful. Smart. And disgustingly enough, kind. As far as sisters were concerned, she was all right. But knowing what he had *always* known, William tried not to love her nearly as much as he wanted to.
"Will," she smiled, leaning against the tree.
"Ah, Princess Windsor," Will snarked, prompting a shove from River.
"Heading to a funeral today, are we?" Emma joked, tweaking the collar of his black button down. It was more of a goth look than her father had gone in for. That bleak, depressed, look of youth.
"Bugger off, cheer girl," William growled back at her.
"Actually," Emma sighed, unfazed by her brother's perennial dishumour," I wanted to see if you two lovebirds wanted a ride to training today. Since I *do* have the car." She dangled the keys in front of Will's face, giggling. River was still blushing from the lovebirds comment.
"Pass today, Princess," Will hissed, leaning back against the tree. "Don't much feel like it."
"You really should go, Will," Emma said, her tone changing from quippy to serious. "I mean, I can only cover for you so many times. It's not like you're out there tearing up the athletic field or curing diseases after school."
Will shot her an angry glare. "Last I checked, I didn't answer to you."
"You don't," Emma replied, simply. "But you will to them. Look, you don't even have to train. You can just hang out and look like you're helping Uncle Giles..."
"No," Will interrupted curtly, reopening his book.
River watched him nervously. "Will, maybe you should.."
"Et tu?" He asked, clutching at his heart, his eyes dancing for the girl beside him. She couldn't help but melt.
"Alright, alright," River whined, gathering her things. "Can I still get a ride?"
"Of course," Emma chirped, pulling her bag back onto her shoulder.
"You.. you're going?" A genuine look of surprise passed over William's features. He had thought for certain that the girl would choose to dawdle lazily in the sunshine with him.
River smiled, an infectious grin. "*You* may not care about answering to *your* parents. But mine?"
"Xander," Will laughed. "He's a big wuss."
River smiled again, tossing her remaining apple at William. "Not when mom's around. Then he has to be all manly."
"Suit yourself," William called, nonchalantly, as they walked away. He leaned back against the tree, staring at the open book. Before the last jingle of his sister's keys disappeared in the distance, he was back to dozing against the trunk of the old oak.
*****
They were all but gone now. Mostly, he fell through darkness. Shadows. Loneliness. None of it mattered. He knew what came next.
"Dammit!" He snapped, banging his head against the headboard as he bolted upright. This time, he was angry. This was the last damned time he was going to awake from this particular nightmare.
He was eighteen now. Old enough to live on his own. Work. Go.
In a flurry of anger, he threw on jeans, a black button down. Tossed his clothes in a duffle. Anywhere but here. Anywhere was better. Anything better than this nightmare.
It didn't take long. Really, he hadn't collected many things. Maybe because he knew all his life that this night would come. Clothes. A few books. Toothbrush. Razor. Wallet. He grabbed the packed duffle and tossed it from his window, taking a minute to catch his breath. Breathe. Say goodbye.
William crept quietly into the hall. His parents' door was closed. That had always been their sanctuary. Their refuge from what they had seen. No real point in disturbing them, although he found himself longing to look into his mum's green eyes. He'd always loved her eyes. Fascinated by them as long as he could remember. Will's hands pressed to the wooden door, imagining the emerald green. They way his dad looked at them with every conceivable emotion there was. Even now. Twenty-one years after Emma, his dad looked at his mum with the same awe and love. No wonder Will had fallen in love with those eyes.
Slowly, he backed away. Had to go. Can't stay here. Too close now.
Emma's door stood slightly ajar. Will wasn't sure if she had left it that way, or if dad had done it, wanting to hear if she snuck out of if *he* snuck in. She only still lived at home because of the whole protection issue. That and even at twenty-one, she was still his Mite. And she liked it that way.
Besides, they approved of her boyfriend. He didn't have to sneak around. Strangely, Will liked him too.
Not that she'd have the chance to enjoy it.
Wasn't her destiny to be a wife or a mother. It was to save the World.
Not really that much different than mum. But Emma wouldn't beat it. Couldn't win. He watched her sleep, the moonlight dancing over her face. She really was an angel. Will paused, praying that if his departure could not stop this, she'd at least get to be one for real. She deserved that. Always.
It took everything he had to pull himself from her door, creeping back into his room. Quietly, he glanced around the darkened room of his youth. Remembering it. Them. With a deep breath, he climbed out the window and onto the branch of the tree.
*****
One last stop to make.
He pulled the motorcycle to a halt in front of their driveway. She was standing there in the moonlight, wrapped in a blanket, her hair a wild tangle. Her pretty face wet with tears. William didn't have to ask as she stood there before him in her pajamas.
She changed her mind.
He was alone.
"River?" He asked when he was close enough for her to hear.
Her body hitched, tears raining down her face. "I... I can't, Will."
His heart broke as he walked to her. Had to try. "Baby, I promise I'll take care of you." His palm rested on her cheek, stroking her face with his thumb.
River smiled, letting her eyes sink shut. "I know you would. But if you're right, I need to be here. I need to help."
"We *can't*," William sighed, his hand dropping from her face. "We need to go."
Slowly, her hand rose to his face, brushing errant sandy locks from his eyes. "I can't accept that, Will." She paused as he put his hand over hers, leaning into her touch. "I won't run scared."
William's body tensed, his eyes opening. "Is.. is that what you think?" He gasped, wide-eyed. Without thinking, he backed a step away.
"What can't we face if we're together?" River answered, her body trembling. She pulled the blanket tight around her.
"*This!*" William spat back. "Everyone dying!"
River sighed. "Will, we're not going to die."
William shook his head as if her words were poison. "I thought... I thought you believed me."
Her face softened, stepping towards him, trying to touch him. "Will, I believe you're scared of it. But even if it's true, we should face it together. All of us."
He backed away again, his body shaking. "I thought you loved me." It was almost a whisper.
"Oh God, Will, I do," she pleaded, stepping towards him. For every step, he backed one away. "Since we were kids. I've always loved you."
Tears streamed down his face as he backed to the motorcycle. "I guess not like I thought."
Before she could move, run, take it back, he'd disappeared into the night.
*****
There weren't any lights anymore. He just felt himself wake up. Heard his own screams. Felt the trickle of his sweat. The racing of his heart.
It'd been two weeks since he'd left and the nightmares had stopped. At least the ones at night. But this little hotel room in the desert and the job pumping gas in a podunk town with no one to speak to, no one to dream with, was nearly as horrifying.
He stood, walking to the window. Trying to slow his breath. The moon was high and full. A trail of light reaching from Earth towards Heaven.
Like a river of angels.
Oh God.
It should have been close to a two-hour trip back home, but terror and fury got him there in half the time. For whatever reason, he knew. Knew where. Knew what lay ahead.
Will parked the bike at the end of the alley and gaped. The pavement was buckled and slicked with blood. More blood than should have been there. It's always about the blood.
They were strewn about like wounded soldiers. They *were* soldiers. But not wounded. Dead. Xander. Aunt Willow. All of them. His cousins' blood and friend were lying about in ungodly heaps, barely real anymore.
There was a gaping hole in the Earth at the end of the alley. Slowly, he headed towards it. Hoping. Praying.
But when he knelt at the edge, all there was was a broadsword. And darkness. And a tiny moonstone ring. His mother's. Will closed his eyes and saw it as vividly as day. His father holding her hand. Pulling. His mother telling him to save Emma. His father's tears as she let go. William's eyes opened. The ring must have fallen off as she held his hand. Or as she let go. Or it was of something so pure that Hell had spit it back. Reverently, he tucked it in his pocket, falling back on his heels in numbed horror.
William could see the path his father had taken. The shadows slayed. The blood of man and beast. The torturous, beautiful light around his sister, scorching the manmade earth. Her eyes as they took her. Her father's as he died.
A whimper brought him back to the alley. To now. He looked around, desperate. God, he should've been here. He ran to the tiny sound. Over by the wall.
Xander had dove over his daughter's body before he died. Will could barely make her out underneath of him. But as he got closer, he heard her. Barely. Quietly. He ran, trying to pull Xander from her. Succeeding. Finding her buried in blood.
"River?"
Her eyes flickered open and she smiled. It was a beautiful smile. "Will," she sighed.
William scanned her body, heart racing, deciding what, if any, blood was hers. And then he saw it. A gaping, horrid hole in her belly. Bleeding out into the hard ground. Tears fell steadily down his face as his eyes moved back to hers.
"Will, do I die in your dream?" She asked quietly, staring up at him with those sweet, chocolate eyes.
William shook his head. "No, Pet," he whispered, trying to hold his hand over the bleeding wound in her belly. An hour she'd laid here dying. Alone. Her dead father draped over her in a final act of love.
It wasn't meaningless, love. Even when it came to this.
River chuckled. "Then maybe I should've gone."
Will brushed blood stained hair from her face, pulling her head into his lap. "No. I should have stayed."
The tears kept coming. Slow. Steady. Like rain.
River closed her eyes, and then opened them again slowly. "I really do love you, Will."
His body shook as a hitching sob took him. "I love you. Always, Pet."
"I like it when you call me that," River whispered, smiling.
And her eyes flickered shut.
To be contd.
OK. Feel free to call me the queen of pain after this. I even cried writing the chapter and I knew what was going to happen. This is the third of the William flash-forward chapters. There will be one more after this.
This is *not* the end of the story. Merely one more path that this child, this family, could follow. But it is not necessarily *the* path. Don't worry, it will all fall together in the end. Promise.
In the meantime, this is a double chocolate bar and maybe a shot of your favourite liquid numb-er chapter. Break out the kleenex and I will be waiting for you to throw fruits and various meats. Try to bear with me and see what is happening here. It will make you appreciate the outcome all the more.
Enjoy and let me know how you feel (have a feeling you will anyway ;)).
*Cheery Vibes*, Nimue
"As sick as it sounds, in my little head, there's a little Sunnydale, and a widdle Buffy, and a widdle Spike, and Spike wubs Buffy." James Marsters 14 July 2002
Title: Abandoning the Cause (Time - Chapter Sixteen)
Author: Nimue
Rating: PG -13
Pairing Buffy/Spike. Most major characters included.
Feedback: Yes, please
For instant notification of fic releases, straight to your mailbox, please visit Always_Everyday@yahoogroups.com
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, UPN, Fox... Just Borrowing. (with, of course, the exception of Emma and William, who belong to Buffy and Spike)
Summary: Set immediately following Dreaming. This is the third of four William flash forward chapters. A look into a possible future for the son of the Vampire and the Slayer. Will this path be the answer? If one can learn their potential fates, can one effect the outcome of their lives? William is about to learn another lesson in Time.
Abandoning the Cause
The lights were lazy now. Less sparkling. Less true. They bobbled past in blind anonymity, brushing him with annoying lackadaisical burns. The blackness was blacker. The lights dimmer. Bleak.
But the crash was all the same.
"Will?" It was a clear child's voice. Musical. Rich. "Will, you OK?"
Slowly, he opened teary, blue eyes and nodded from his spot on the floor. The girl walked over, scooping him up in gangly arms and setting him gently on his big boy bed.
"I fell," the boy said, shyly.
"Have a nightmare?" She asked, sitting down next to him. He nodded, his blond hair falling around his face. "They're not real, you know. Just bad dreams." She stroked his hair, trying to comfort the little boy. He seemed so... lost.
"Mommy dies," he said quietly, never looking at her. "And daddy." He didn't tell her that she died too. Even at four, he understood that it was just cruel.
"They're fine, Will," Emma comforted, ruffling his hair.
"Not now." His voice was distant. Cold. "Late."
Emma shuddered, the dragon of fear creeping up her spine. "No, they don't, Will," she gushed as if trying to convince herself. "Dad!" She screamed the last word. "Dad!"
Heavy footsteps barreled up the stairs, followed by a softer pair from down the hall. "Dad!" Emma screamed again.
"What? What is it, Mite?" Spike panted, appearing in the doorway as if from thin air.
Tears began to stream down her face. The little boy stared off at the wall, blankly. "Will... Will says that you're going to *die*! Tell him he's wrong, Daddy."
Spike walked into the room, sighing. Buffy followed, overhearing from the hallway. "Mite, we all do sooner or later," he answered, sitting on the edge of William's bed and pulling the little girl into his lap. "Gotta make room for the newer models."
Emma looked up at his face, wide-eyed as Buffy settled next to them, pulling the numb boy against her. Rocking him. "Not now?" The little girl pouted.
"No, Mite," Spike whispered, pushing a blonde curl from her eyes. "Stuck with us a while, yet."
Emma buried her face in her father's shirt, sobbing. Tears of fear. Tears of relief. Anything. Parents just didn't *die*.
"Will?" Buffy asked, pulling the boy away enough to see his face. He stared at her intently, listening. "Why do you think we're going to die?"
"B'coz the shadows," he answered, still caught in her green gaze.
"Shadows?" Spike asked, rubbing Emma's back to calm her.
"They're dark," William answered, clinging to his mother, his face cold and lifeless.
"Do you remember where? How?" Buffy asked, brushing his hair away from his face. The little boy shook his head.
"Mommy, it's dark there," he whispered, his eyes frightened but strangely detached.
"OK, baby," she answered, pulling him back against her chest. Buffy looked at Spike. Concern had spread across his features. Slayer dream inherited? Little boy's nightmare after accidentally seeing his mum and dad come home covered in demon blood? No way to tell. Not yet.
"Emma?" Spike questioned quietly. She lifted her head just enough to look up at him. "D'you think maybe Will could take a nap with your Bunny? Seems the bad dreams don't come then."
Emma looked over at her mother and the huddled form of her little brother, weighing the loss in her head. "Ok," she finally sighed. "But can I have him back before bed?"
"That you can, Mite," Spike answered, setting her on the floor. "Why don't you go fetch him and when you're back, I'll take you for ice cream."
Emma smiled through her tears. "You wanna talk to Mum?" She chuckled. "But I still want ice cream."
Spike smirked at her. "Go."
William still clung to Buffy as Emma trotted out of the room. "Nightmare?" Buffy mouthed over William's head. Spike shrugged, smoothing the boy's hair. William was strangely quiet. Still. "He's been having them a lot," Buffy continued wordlessly.
"We'll talk to the Watchers," Spike answered, no sound escaping his lips. "Will?" He asked, audibly this time.
The boy turned his head, staring up at his father. "You know we're not going anywhere, your mum and me. Alright?" Spike's face was sincere, hoping upon hopes that he could keep the promise he made to his son.
William nodded. "Late," he said softly. Spike's head titled, questioning him, but the little boy yawned and buried his head in the crook of Buffy's arm.
"Wanna nap, Slugger?" She asked, stretching out, still cradling the boy against her chest. "I'll stay with you."
Emma reappeared with the Bunny. The Slayer of childhood nightmares. Reverently, she handed it to her father. Spike leaned forward, sliding the little rabbit between William and Buffy. The boy's arms wound around the toy, settling him.
"Sleep well," Spike whispered, kissing Buffy's nose and ruffling William's blond mop. Emma grabbed his hand and led him out the door.
*****
They barely registered anymore. The lights. More like flickers in the darkness. Or maybe he just didn't care anymore. Not really. Not like they illuminated anything. Just there.
"Will?" A gentle voice chimed in his ear.
"Hunh?" He opened his eyes with a start, searching his surroundings. William had been asleep, leaned against a tree on the side of the school. A book sat open in his lap. Salinger.
"You need to sleep more at night," the girl joked, smiling and sitting down next to him. She may have been a freshman, a year his junior, but she had always been his equal. Always saw him. About the only person he had nothing against. "Still having nightmares?"
"Did I ever stop?" William asked, grabbing an apple from her bag lunch and helping himself.
"Guess not," she chuckled. "And feel free to eat my snacks." He smiled at her, those perfect, glittering blue eyes melting her chocolate ones and turning the freshman into a puddle. Her hair blew in rich, dark waves around her face. Lovely. Not in the same manner as his mum or Emma. But dark and exotic and rich.
"River?" William asked, scanning her lithe body, his fifteen-year-old hormones reeking havoc on his composure.
"What?" She asked, leaning against him and unwrapping a candy bar.
"Don't you ever just want to get out of here? Blow this town?" Will asked, taking a bite of the apple.
She laughed, rich and lyrical. "Will, you're *fifteen*. I'm *fourteen*. What are we going to do? Ride our bikes and start a child detective agency?" She nibbled at the chocolate, watching him with an amused expression. "Besides, you're from like... the Kennedy's of the Hellmouth."
"Exactly my point," he huffed, sitting up straight. She toppled against his hip, her balance skewed by the quick motion. Gently, he lifted her head, settling it against his thigh as she looked up at the sky. They'd known each other for as long as either could remember. That's what happens when your parents are best friends.
"Sick of being part of it," Will continued. "Nothing I can do. Of no use to them. I mean, Buffy and Spike..."
"A.K.A., you mom and dad," River joked.
William humphed. "*Emma's* parents," he corrected.
"Oh, come on! They love you and you *know* it," River fought back.
"Love," William stated as if on stage. "Meaningless when they'll all be gone soon."
River sat up to face him, curling her legs under her like a newborn filly. "You *don't* actually believe that, do you?"
William nodded solemnly. "And I can't do a thing about it. Neither can you."
"That's bleak," she sighed, falling back against his thighs. Absently, he smoothed her wild brown hair from her face.
"S'life, Pet," he whispered. "And I am not planning on being round to see it end."
River focused up at him. "Even if it *was* true," she began. "What makes you think that you couldn't help? Besides your parents, you're probably the best fighter of all of us."
"Not enough," William responded, winding a tendril of her hair around his finger.
"And you're really good at the whole computer research-y thing," River continued.
"Won't matter," William answered. "If I am here, We.All.Die."
"So, you just leave?" River asked, her hands wrapping though his.
Will stared down at her pretty face. She looked sad. Alone. "Not yet, Riv."
"Good," she smiled, snuggling into his leg. "I've got time to convince you you're nuts."
"Hey guys," another voice chimed from the distance. Will didn't have to look to know it was his sister. River sat back up, glancing around the tree.
"Hey, Emma," she beamed, watching William's sister walk towards them. Everyone beamed when they saw Emma.
Emma was... perfect. Beautiful. Smart. And disgustingly enough, kind. As far as sisters were concerned, she was all right. But knowing what he had *always* known, William tried not to love her nearly as much as he wanted to.
"Will," she smiled, leaning against the tree.
"Ah, Princess Windsor," Will snarked, prompting a shove from River.
"Heading to a funeral today, are we?" Emma joked, tweaking the collar of his black button down. It was more of a goth look than her father had gone in for. That bleak, depressed, look of youth.
"Bugger off, cheer girl," William growled back at her.
"Actually," Emma sighed, unfazed by her brother's perennial dishumour," I wanted to see if you two lovebirds wanted a ride to training today. Since I *do* have the car." She dangled the keys in front of Will's face, giggling. River was still blushing from the lovebirds comment.
"Pass today, Princess," Will hissed, leaning back against the tree. "Don't much feel like it."
"You really should go, Will," Emma said, her tone changing from quippy to serious. "I mean, I can only cover for you so many times. It's not like you're out there tearing up the athletic field or curing diseases after school."
Will shot her an angry glare. "Last I checked, I didn't answer to you."
"You don't," Emma replied, simply. "But you will to them. Look, you don't even have to train. You can just hang out and look like you're helping Uncle Giles..."
"No," Will interrupted curtly, reopening his book.
River watched him nervously. "Will, maybe you should.."
"Et tu?" He asked, clutching at his heart, his eyes dancing for the girl beside him. She couldn't help but melt.
"Alright, alright," River whined, gathering her things. "Can I still get a ride?"
"Of course," Emma chirped, pulling her bag back onto her shoulder.
"You.. you're going?" A genuine look of surprise passed over William's features. He had thought for certain that the girl would choose to dawdle lazily in the sunshine with him.
River smiled, an infectious grin. "*You* may not care about answering to *your* parents. But mine?"
"Xander," Will laughed. "He's a big wuss."
River smiled again, tossing her remaining apple at William. "Not when mom's around. Then he has to be all manly."
"Suit yourself," William called, nonchalantly, as they walked away. He leaned back against the tree, staring at the open book. Before the last jingle of his sister's keys disappeared in the distance, he was back to dozing against the trunk of the old oak.
*****
They were all but gone now. Mostly, he fell through darkness. Shadows. Loneliness. None of it mattered. He knew what came next.
"Dammit!" He snapped, banging his head against the headboard as he bolted upright. This time, he was angry. This was the last damned time he was going to awake from this particular nightmare.
He was eighteen now. Old enough to live on his own. Work. Go.
In a flurry of anger, he threw on jeans, a black button down. Tossed his clothes in a duffle. Anywhere but here. Anywhere was better. Anything better than this nightmare.
It didn't take long. Really, he hadn't collected many things. Maybe because he knew all his life that this night would come. Clothes. A few books. Toothbrush. Razor. Wallet. He grabbed the packed duffle and tossed it from his window, taking a minute to catch his breath. Breathe. Say goodbye.
William crept quietly into the hall. His parents' door was closed. That had always been their sanctuary. Their refuge from what they had seen. No real point in disturbing them, although he found himself longing to look into his mum's green eyes. He'd always loved her eyes. Fascinated by them as long as he could remember. Will's hands pressed to the wooden door, imagining the emerald green. They way his dad looked at them with every conceivable emotion there was. Even now. Twenty-one years after Emma, his dad looked at his mum with the same awe and love. No wonder Will had fallen in love with those eyes.
Slowly, he backed away. Had to go. Can't stay here. Too close now.
Emma's door stood slightly ajar. Will wasn't sure if she had left it that way, or if dad had done it, wanting to hear if she snuck out of if *he* snuck in. She only still lived at home because of the whole protection issue. That and even at twenty-one, she was still his Mite. And she liked it that way.
Besides, they approved of her boyfriend. He didn't have to sneak around. Strangely, Will liked him too.
Not that she'd have the chance to enjoy it.
Wasn't her destiny to be a wife or a mother. It was to save the World.
Not really that much different than mum. But Emma wouldn't beat it. Couldn't win. He watched her sleep, the moonlight dancing over her face. She really was an angel. Will paused, praying that if his departure could not stop this, she'd at least get to be one for real. She deserved that. Always.
It took everything he had to pull himself from her door, creeping back into his room. Quietly, he glanced around the darkened room of his youth. Remembering it. Them. With a deep breath, he climbed out the window and onto the branch of the tree.
*****
One last stop to make.
He pulled the motorcycle to a halt in front of their driveway. She was standing there in the moonlight, wrapped in a blanket, her hair a wild tangle. Her pretty face wet with tears. William didn't have to ask as she stood there before him in her pajamas.
She changed her mind.
He was alone.
"River?" He asked when he was close enough for her to hear.
Her body hitched, tears raining down her face. "I... I can't, Will."
His heart broke as he walked to her. Had to try. "Baby, I promise I'll take care of you." His palm rested on her cheek, stroking her face with his thumb.
River smiled, letting her eyes sink shut. "I know you would. But if you're right, I need to be here. I need to help."
"We *can't*," William sighed, his hand dropping from her face. "We need to go."
Slowly, her hand rose to his face, brushing errant sandy locks from his eyes. "I can't accept that, Will." She paused as he put his hand over hers, leaning into her touch. "I won't run scared."
William's body tensed, his eyes opening. "Is.. is that what you think?" He gasped, wide-eyed. Without thinking, he backed a step away.
"What can't we face if we're together?" River answered, her body trembling. She pulled the blanket tight around her.
"*This!*" William spat back. "Everyone dying!"
River sighed. "Will, we're not going to die."
William shook his head as if her words were poison. "I thought... I thought you believed me."
Her face softened, stepping towards him, trying to touch him. "Will, I believe you're scared of it. But even if it's true, we should face it together. All of us."
He backed away again, his body shaking. "I thought you loved me." It was almost a whisper.
"Oh God, Will, I do," she pleaded, stepping towards him. For every step, he backed one away. "Since we were kids. I've always loved you."
Tears streamed down his face as he backed to the motorcycle. "I guess not like I thought."
Before she could move, run, take it back, he'd disappeared into the night.
*****
There weren't any lights anymore. He just felt himself wake up. Heard his own screams. Felt the trickle of his sweat. The racing of his heart.
It'd been two weeks since he'd left and the nightmares had stopped. At least the ones at night. But this little hotel room in the desert and the job pumping gas in a podunk town with no one to speak to, no one to dream with, was nearly as horrifying.
He stood, walking to the window. Trying to slow his breath. The moon was high and full. A trail of light reaching from Earth towards Heaven.
Like a river of angels.
Oh God.
It should have been close to a two-hour trip back home, but terror and fury got him there in half the time. For whatever reason, he knew. Knew where. Knew what lay ahead.
Will parked the bike at the end of the alley and gaped. The pavement was buckled and slicked with blood. More blood than should have been there. It's always about the blood.
They were strewn about like wounded soldiers. They *were* soldiers. But not wounded. Dead. Xander. Aunt Willow. All of them. His cousins' blood and friend were lying about in ungodly heaps, barely real anymore.
There was a gaping hole in the Earth at the end of the alley. Slowly, he headed towards it. Hoping. Praying.
But when he knelt at the edge, all there was was a broadsword. And darkness. And a tiny moonstone ring. His mother's. Will closed his eyes and saw it as vividly as day. His father holding her hand. Pulling. His mother telling him to save Emma. His father's tears as she let go. William's eyes opened. The ring must have fallen off as she held his hand. Or as she let go. Or it was of something so pure that Hell had spit it back. Reverently, he tucked it in his pocket, falling back on his heels in numbed horror.
William could see the path his father had taken. The shadows slayed. The blood of man and beast. The torturous, beautiful light around his sister, scorching the manmade earth. Her eyes as they took her. Her father's as he died.
A whimper brought him back to the alley. To now. He looked around, desperate. God, he should've been here. He ran to the tiny sound. Over by the wall.
Xander had dove over his daughter's body before he died. Will could barely make her out underneath of him. But as he got closer, he heard her. Barely. Quietly. He ran, trying to pull Xander from her. Succeeding. Finding her buried in blood.
"River?"
Her eyes flickered open and she smiled. It was a beautiful smile. "Will," she sighed.
William scanned her body, heart racing, deciding what, if any, blood was hers. And then he saw it. A gaping, horrid hole in her belly. Bleeding out into the hard ground. Tears fell steadily down his face as his eyes moved back to hers.
"Will, do I die in your dream?" She asked quietly, staring up at him with those sweet, chocolate eyes.
William shook his head. "No, Pet," he whispered, trying to hold his hand over the bleeding wound in her belly. An hour she'd laid here dying. Alone. Her dead father draped over her in a final act of love.
It wasn't meaningless, love. Even when it came to this.
River chuckled. "Then maybe I should've gone."
Will brushed blood stained hair from her face, pulling her head into his lap. "No. I should have stayed."
The tears kept coming. Slow. Steady. Like rain.
River closed her eyes, and then opened them again slowly. "I really do love you, Will."
His body shook as a hitching sob took him. "I love you. Always, Pet."
"I like it when you call me that," River whispered, smiling.
And her eyes flickered shut.
To be contd.