The ear bleedingly-pitched scream reverberated through the air, making Radditz snarl in his throat as he pressed Goku protectively into his chest and Krillin chuckle nervously and rush over to the slightly hyperventilating martial arts master to try and calm him. The poor thing simply got knocked over when Kamesennin flailed his arms.
"Master, please--"
"I FONDLED GOKU!?? MY STUDENT!?? MY *male* STUDENT!??"
"What's this fight about?" Goku wondered obliviously, watching Krillin and Roshi scream back at one another. Radditz wrapped his naiive little "brother" up in his arms again and patted her head comfortingly. Goku gave a cute, child-like squeal at the uncalled for show of attention and hugged back.
It took a few minutes for Krillin to calm down the ancient master, and another few to make him accept that Goku had really switched genders somehow or another. By that time he was merrily eyeing up the oblivious girl, who still sat in her brother's thick arms, until the older Saiyan snarled at him and drew a finger across his throat as if slitting his own neck. Kamesennin got the message and from then on let his student alone.
"So. Goku's turned into a girl and now we have so somehow tell Chi-chi while at the same time keeping our heads attached to our necks."
"Uh.. yeah."
Roshi looked emotionlessly at Krillin for a few seconds, then sighed. "Yes, we are very dead indeed." Goku, who had been generally quiet since she woke up, had been watching the fight with confusion and mild interest. Now she stood up. "Excuse me but, uh, what's a Chi-chi?"
There was some uncomfortable coughing from Krillin and Roshi. Radditz pulled his brother back onto his knee and peered over her shoulder, waiting curiously for an answer as well. The clock kept ticking and neither of them could think of a reply that wouldn't send poor Goku into seizures.
"Well, uh..." Krillin started, looking off to one side. "Chi-chi is... she's your wife." He cringed. Great tactful answer he had there.
Goku, apparently, was not thoroughly shaken. She tilted her head and, after a few moments of searching her mind, found no definition. "What's a 'wife', Krillin?"
The ex-monk started to give Goku the "You Idiot" look, but Radditz growled lightly, quickly silencing the exasperated Krillin. "Look, you little freak, Female Goku hasn't seen the light of day for more then twenty years. As far as she remembers, all she really knows of is you, Kamesennin, Bulma, and a few other primitive concepts. Remember, she was silenced when Goku was very young and doesn't know a hundredth of what he does. Besides.. I don't really know what one is either."
"Oh, yeah." sighed Krillin. He personally still thought his friend was a little too air-headed for his own good, but dared not aggrivate the soldier and his rather creepy devotion to his sibling. "Well... a wife is like... a spouse."
"What's a spouse?" Radditz and Goku asked simultaneously.
"A mate."
"Ohhh." they said in unison. A took a few seconds for them to realize the meaning of this statement. Radditz went blue and Goku choked. "Y-y-you mean I'm w-WED!?" she coughed, standing up. Krillin nodded meekly. She stuttered a bit. Radditz wrapped one of his arms over her shoulder and took her hand.
"Excuse me.." Kamesennin interupted, standing up as well. "It is actually unlikely you two are to be considered married. It was not in Goku's power, nor did she ever agree to it in this form. Therefore the 'I Do' said by Male Goku may not apply to his counterpart, hence devoiding any marital positions one may have with another."
Krillin clapped sarcastically. Radditz rolled his eyes yet again. Goku blinked. The old man sighed with deep annoyance and gave Krillin a sharp slap across the face for his impudence. He debated doing the same to Goku but feared his brother, that monstrous person that called himself Radditz, and didn't dare harm or annoy the girl within his sight.
Goku raised her hand as if in school. Kamesennin nodded at her and she spoke again. "Um, would someone please tell me about my family? If I have a wife, do I have a house? And a dog? And a brat? Is she named Goku, too?"
"Aheh, yes, well, as far as we've heard over the phone you have a young son called Gohan, you live by your Grandpa's old shrine, and you are still training in the martial arts." Krillin said. Goku fell silent. She stared at Krillin a few seconds, her obsidian eyes growing huge and watery. The ex-monk whimpered and debated running for his life. If Goku began to weep over her forced child, Radditz would surely explode the house.
He needed not worried.
"I have a son!" sobbed Goku in ecstacy, leaping up to wrap her brother up in a hug. "I have a baby boy!" The siblings proceeded to prance around the table in celebration, shouting "I have a son!" "I have a nephew!" "I'm a Mummy!" "I'm an Uncle!" and the like.
"I'm so happy, Radditz!"
"I'm happy too!"
"I love you, brother!"
"I love you more!"
"THANK YOU GOD!!"
"BLESS THIS WORLD AND ALL IT'S WORTHLESS, PATHETIC INHABITANTS THAT ARE GONNA DIE SOON ENOUGH ANYWAY!"
Earlier... (Yes, AGAIN!! GET USED TO IT!)
She didn't know where she had been. Her past--she knew she had one, she just didn't know its contents. One would get the sense that she had been asleep for many years. It took her a few minutes, laying in the warm dampness in the dark, to recall anything from the sacred desert of her memory.
Children, preparing for a contest of strength. Sharing a deep friendship. She could see herself as one of those children and decided it was her friend. "Krillin", her mysterious lost conciousness told her, "His name is Krillin and you love him." What else? An old man upon a patch of land far out on the sea, for which she had respect and admiration. "Kamesennin," it told her, "Your master."
Several other memories were there, dully glowing like phantom stars, ones she could not recognize. A sweet girl that came with the threat of injury, a little thatch hut in the woods where she had worshiped at long ago, a river, a fish, a monster, a blue-haired beauty that had befriended her. It made as much sense to her as if someone had come up and just screamed random concepts in her face. At that moment, she remembered that she had eyes and the gift of Sight. Her eyelashes fluttered open. Her pupils gently fluxuated, since she was in the shade and the sun could not penetrate the bending boughs of the lovely trees above. She sighed. She remembered trees. They made shade when the temperature of the air rose and grew good things to eat upon their limbs and demanded no price for their gifts.
There was a soft murmuring beside her. She turned her head on instinct and saw a handsome man that slightly resembled her, nuzzled into her and purring like a kitten. No instinctual fear jolted through her veins, which reassured her this person was a friend. She fondly stroked the face of the man she did not know but loved. He made a cooing noise and cuddled her deeper into his lap. She continued to watch him like an interested newborn infant, staring up at his handsome face and wondering over the odd feeling of deja vu that hovered within her. She placed a curious hand on his face again and gently pressed, trying to wake him without annoying him.
Radditz's nightmare coloured eyes fluttered open. He found himself staring into the face of someone he did not immediatly recognize, but then his powerful sense of smell picked up the faint Saiyan musk of love and caught his own genetics in them.
"Kakarot.." he muttered, sitting up and gently putting his arms over the quiet girl. She lay in his embrace, politely puzzled but happy at being shown affection.
"Who's Kakarot?" she whispered gently, finding herself mirroring the man's gentle embrace and pressing her cheek into his face. Radditz chuckled lightly and scooped up the girl he was certain was his brother in his strong arms. Her legs dangled loosely over his arm and she still held firmly to him, refusing to let go. "You are, of course, my dear." he said gently, placing a kiss on his so-called brother's forehead. She stared up at him with softly confused eyes. The condfident smile faded from Radditz's face. "You don't know who you are, do you?" She slowly shook her head no. The taller Saiyan sighed and drew his precious infant-like brother closer into his arms. She murmered sleepily and nuzzled into his chest.
"I," he started simply, "have alot of explaining to do."