Julia took a deep breath. :I can do this.: "I need to speak with Dr. Chang," she told the receptionist, her voice calm and reasonably pleasant.
"May I say who's asking for her?" asked the receptionist.
"Tell her Julia's here."
"Julia..." the receptionist drew out the name, obviously waiting for a last name.
"Just tell her Julia," she said, swallowing hard. "She'll know who I am."
The blind anger and shock that had been with her for most of yesterday had faded over the night. She hadn't slept, but she had done a lot of thinking. And a lot of planning.
This morning she'd gotten up and changed into some of her clothes, which were dry. Her shoes were still damp, but it was only a minor discomfort, and measured against other things, fairly inconsequential.
:Lets see... compared to everyone I love lying to me for my entire life about what I am, yes, damp feet are reasonably inconsequential.:
The receptionist didn't look convinced at this claim, but something in Julia's expression must have told her that it wasn't worth arguing about. "Just a moment," she said politely, picking up the phone. "Dr. Chang?"
Julia clearly heard Sally's voice on the other end of the line, in addition to a faint echo from one of the back rooms. "Yes?" Sally sounded tired.
"There is a Miss..." the receptionist hesitated for a second, then continued, "There's a Julia here to see you."
There was no response from the other end of the line, but Julia heard something fall and hit the ground, and then heard a door open and feet running down the hall. She turned her head towards the hall just as Sally burst through the door. The older woman's eyes immediately went to Julia, and she took a step towards her, holding out a hand as if to embrace Julia. Julia's eyes narrowed slightly and she took a half-step back, just out of reach.
Sally froze, her hand outstretched, then let it fall to her side. "Do you have any idea how worried your parents are?" she asked quietly. "They were frantic."
"I know," Julia said, swallowing hard. She glanced once at the receptionist. She didn't want to talk in front of her. "Can I talk to you?"
"Of course, this way," Sally gestured towards the hall, and Julia followed her into a small office.
Julia waited until Sally had closed the door, then immediately said, "You knew."
Sally looked upset, but not surprised. "Yes, I did. Your parents needed someone to confide in, and someone who was trained as a doctor. I was their friend, and a Preventer, so they told me. They didn't go around telling everyone," she said, obviously knowing one of Julia's questions ahead of time.
"Zechs knew!" Julia snapped in response.
Sally blinked, then recovered. "He knew because he led the mission to find out what the scientists were doing. He was also the one who signed off on sealing the files so that you would have a chance at a normal life." She flinched as soon as the words left her mouth, probably realizing that they weren't the best words to chose.
"A normal life?!" Julia asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "I'm an inhuman freak created for war. I plowed through a steel door, I never get sick, I'm a genius, and, oh yes, I get blinding headaches and white flashes because my mind can't handle all the enhancements they built into me! Yeah, I had a real good shot at having a normal life," she finished bitterly.
"You've been having difficulties?" Sally asked quietly.
Julia swallowed the sarcastic comment that first came to mind and looked away, trying to get control of herself. She'd come here for answers, not to yell at Sally. "Yes," she said in a short, flat, voice. "Do you know why?"
"Not for sure, but I can make a guess," Sally said, sitting at her desk. "Your enhanced abilities first began to kick in when you should have hit a major growth spurt. That was when you first started getting the headaches. You did learn to deal with them, so your abilities were no longer a problem. They stopped getting stronger - as quickly - for a time while your body caught up, then got stronger again. Do you remember the headaches you had a few years ago?"
Julia did, all too well. "They weren't as bad as when I was little, and they only lasted for a few days," she said suspiciously.
"It was because you already knew how to deal with the problem, and adjusted automatically. Also, the changes in your abilities were not as great. But in the last few months, the enhancements have begun increasing at an accelerated rate again, and what you've used before just isn't enough to handle the increased stress all the time."
"So," Julia swallowed. "It's going to get worse?"
"Quite possibly."
"How much worse?" She saw the helpless look on Sally's face and altered her question. "For how much longer?"
"It's impossible to know for certain... but, based on the previous occasions... no more than six months, on the outside. Possibly as little as three."
"Three more months?" Julia repeated slowly. "It's going to keep getting worse for another three months?"
"At least."
Julia swallowed. Her senses had only begun getting sensitive again a few months ago, and already the changes were great enough that they were causing her problems. Granted, that might have been because she was expending so much energy, both physical and emotional, on her studies, but in another few months... If it was as bad as she thought it would be, she'd have trouble functioning at school, to say nothing of actually using her abilities. "Is there... how do I deal with them? I haven't had a problem in years, what was I doing then that I'm not doing now?"
"I don't know for certain," Sally replied. "There's never been... the situation has never come up before. My guess would be that your abilities have simply progressed beyond the point where your subconscious mind could easily deal with the flow of information."
"So there's nothing I can do?" Julia asked, trying not to let Sally know how frightened she was. If there was nothing she could do to get control of it, she would go crazy, she knew it. She remembered all too clearly the white chaos that had overtaken her mind when they shot her with the darts. Now she knew it was because the darts had clouded her mind, caused her control to slip for an instant, and that was the result. Was that what was going to happen to her eventually? That one day she'd slip into that awful white haze and never come out of it?
"I didn't say that!" Sally said quickly. "Now that you know what the problem, it's entirely possible that you will be able to train your mind to deal with the increased flow of information."
"What? Why does me knowing make a difference?"
"Before all we could teach you was little concentration exercises, ways of learning to cut down on what you were thinking about. That's all standard meditation. Your mind took those lessons and automatically started using them as a sort of self-defense against your own abilities. But the process was entirely sub-conscious, and therefore more tedious. Theoretically, now that you know what the problem is, you should be able to deal with the problem directly, more efficiently, especially the way that your mind works. It could make a big difference."
Julia thought back to the argument she'd had with her parents, how she'd started to lose control of her sight and just brought it back under control. And she hadn't had a problem since then, despite the fact that she'd been running on an emotional high for a while now. She nodded slowly.
"You think that might work?" Sally asked hopefully.
"I... have already done that. It's easier to keep things from getting out of control than it was a few days ago," Julia admitted. "But... if things keep getting worse..."
"There is another option," Sally said slowly, reluctantly. "Duo has been very set against it, but the option remains. There are drugs I can give you to help dull your senses. I don't know if they will work on you, with your immunities and metabolism, and there may be side effects... but it is an option."
"No drugs!" Julia said sharply, squeezing her eyes shut.
"Julia..."
"NO DRUGS!" Julia shouted. "Not again!" Without warning her senses burst out of control again. Her own racing heartbeat pounded in her ears, deafening her, and she could feel the wrinkles in her own skin where her hands were clenched into fists. At least her eyes were already closed.
Julia struggled for control. :I can do this,: she told herself determinedly. :It's just information. I don't have to feel all this. Just tone it down.:
It took her several minutes of intense concentration, but she managed to do just that. The problem got no worse, and her world did not dissolve into a white haze. Finally things returned to normal (for her), and she dared to open her eyes. Sally was still sitting at her desk, staring silently at her.
"Are you all right?" she asked quietly.
"I have it under control," Julia said stiffly.
"Why did you have that kind of reaction?"
"What?"
"You're trembling," Sally said, her voice full of worry. She was staring at Julia's hands. Julia looked down and realized that her hands were clenched in fists, and she was still trembling.
Her entire body was shaking with a barely controlled terror. She'd had to shut it out before, to get control of her senses, but now that she thought about it, she could feel it again, terror that still had her heart racing and her breath coming in short pants. She hadn't panicked like this when she'd been captured, why was she doing it now?
"I... I don't know," she said, trying to keep herself calm, or else she'd bring on another loss of control. She could feel tears pricking her eyes and fought to keep them there. "I don't know! They... they drugged me when they kidnapped me..." that was the wrong thing to say, since it brought back memories of the white haze, but even as she said it, she knew that wasn't the source of her terror. A flash of a memory fragment came to mind, a needle filled with some substance, a hauntingly familiar face, and then fire spreading throughout her entire body. Then it was gone, no matter how she grasped for it. "I... I can't remember," she said in a gasp, hugging her arms and rocking back and forth slightly. "But... no drugs," she finally finished, remembering the important part of the conversation. "No drugs," she repeated, looking pleadingly at Sally for a promise that she wouldn't do that to her.
"No drugs," Sally repeated, although she still looked worried. "You can't remember?"
Julia searched again for that elusive memory fragment, this time taking notice of her body's response, and wasn't particularly surprised to find herself tensing up again at the thought of any drugs. But she couldn't quite find it. "No," she replied quietly. This had never happened to her before - she could always find a memory, no matter how far back. This was the first time she'd ever had any difficulty remembering something, and she wasn't enjoying the experience.
After a few more seconds of fruitless searching, she shook her head slightly, trying to dispel some of the tension. "I can't remember it," she repeated. "Can we not talk about this?" she asked sharply.
Sally looked even more worried, but after a few seconds she nodded. Julia used that time to compose her thoughts slightly.
"Yesterday my... yesterday they said that they didn't know how strong I was because there was no way to test me without making me suspicious. Well," she gave a slightly bitter laugh. "You can test me now."
Sally closed her eyes briefly. "Julia... are you sure..."
"I want to know what I am, what I can do. I... you know what I did to the door," Julia said, automatically avoiding mentioning her kidnapping more specifically. "When I got home, I punched through a wall. I... I could really hurt somebody, without meaning to," she finished quietly, thinking of the kidnapper whose leg she'd broken when he tried to beat her. She wasn't sorry about that, but what if it had been... what if it had been someone she cared about? She sparred with people all the time... "I need to know. You can help me figure it out, right?"
"I can... but I don't have the equipment here that I'd need."
"What?"
"The equipment... it's not sensitive enough. Your eyesight and hearing have progressed beyond my ability to test with standard equipment."
Julia swallowed, then nodded her head sharply. "Fine. Where can we go?"
Sally paused for a second, then said, "Preventer Headquarters has everything I'd need. We'd have to get them involved, anyway."
"Because I'm classified material," Julia said bitterly.
Looking very much as if she would like to be able to disagree, Sally responded, "It was to protect you."
Julia snorted. "Lets go."
To her surprise, Sally didn't try to argue. "All right, but I have to call ahead, let them know we're coming." She hesitated for a second, then added, "If you want, I can have them have a doctor waiting to perform the tests, if you'd be more comfortable that way."
Julia blinked as she realized what Sally was offering, and thought it over. She might be angry with Sally for keeping secrets from her, but it hadn't been her idea, and the thought of some strange doctor poking at her was frightening. Especially if he started treating her like some sort of science project, the way the people who'd wanted to take her away when she was younger had, before her fathers put a stop to the testing. She shuddered.
"No. I want you," she said quickly.
-----------
The ride to Preventer headquarters wasn't long, but it felt that way, since they rode in silence. They were stopped at the gate by a guard who asked for their names, then waved through to another guard and another gate, who asked them the same thing and then pointed to a parking lot they could use. Once they actually got inside the main building (it turned out that the headquarters was more of a compound than she'd expected, with a number of smaller buildings surrounding the main one), they went through another security checkpoint, where they were both given badges to wear for the duration of their stay.
"I have to go check in," Sally said as they started down one of the halls, passing a lot of people in those ugly Preventer uniforms and getting a lot of stares, presumably because they weren't wearing them.
"Didn't we do that already?" Julia asked, glaring at some man who wouldn't stop staring at her for some reason. His eyes widened, and he turned as white as a sheet before hastily turning away.
Sally's eyes were narrowed thoughtfully, and she stared at the man as she answered. "We checked in with security. I need to go report to my commanding officer, if I'm on base."
"Who's your commanding officer?"
"Lady Une."
Julia stopped short. "What?"
Sally turned to look at her. "I was a special operative, the same as your fathers, and your uncles. We reported only to Lady Une."
"Oh," Julia repeated, feeling very, very stupid for not realizing that sooner, for being surprised by that information. Then she was distracted by another Preventer staring at her. She glared at him, too, and he had a remarkably similar reaction to the first.
A few days ago she might have ignored this, assumed it was some strange coincidence that the two men had such a similar reaction, or even dismissed the observation as being in her own mind, but that was before she'd been kidnapped, shot a man, and had her entire universe turned upside down. She turned to Sally, keeping a wary eye on the Preventers around her.
"Why are they doing that?"
"Doing what?" Sally asked.
"That," Julia said, nodded slightly toward a third Preventer who was looking at her the same way as the first two. Like them, he was an older man, at least in his forties, and he was looking at her with the same puzzled expression as the other two. She stared back at him, waiting for him to realize it was rude to stare, but his perplexed frown only deepened slightly, as if he was trying to remember something. Julia glared at him, and he actually winced before hastily turning away.
"That," she repeated, seeing that Sally had observed the entire encounter. "Why are they doing that?"
Sally glanced at the man for a long moment, then at Julia, then back at the man, and finally she sighed. "You're frightening them."
"What?!" Julia somehow managed to keep that from coming out as a shriek, but just barely.
Sally closed her eyes and sighed again. "You may not see it, but you do look like your parents," she pointed out, and Julia remembered the dozens of times she'd looked in the mirror, doing what she thought was wishful thinking as she observed the similarities between her appearance and that of her fathers'.
After pausing for a long moment, Sally continued, "Especially when you're glaring at people like that."
"Like what?" Julia said, giving Sally an example of said glare.
"As if you were already planning where you'd bury their bodies to cover the murder," Sally responded quietly.
Julia's irritation dissolved as Sally's words sunk in. "I... they... they think I look like my parents did back *then*?" she demanded in a harsh whisper. She thought back to the expressions on their faces when Stevens had held a gun to her head. It had been one of the most frightening things she'd ever seen. The Preventers saw some of that in *her*?!
"I would never..." she started, and then trailed off. 'I would never kill someone,' she'd been about to say, but she couldn't even say that was the truth anymore. Memories she'd been trying to repress suddenly rose to the fore, causing an almost physical pain. Julia closed her eyes tight, trying to keep tears from leaking out. She shook her head once, then hoped that Sally hadn't seen the motion. She wiped each of her eyes once, carefully, to get rid of the betraying moisture.
"I would never hurt them," she finally said.
"They thought that mere children could never hurt them," Sally continued, her voice somewhat distant, as if she were lost in thought. "And some of the men here saw their comrades pay for that mistake with their lives. You can't blame them for being wary."
No, Julia couldn't blame them for being wary, even for being afraid of her. They had good reason - she'd been created by the same people who created the Gundams... The same people who, in a way, had created the pilots. They'd made her for war...
:And if I wanted to, I could kill most of them before they could do anything to stop me...: the thought passed through her mind, accompanied by a fragment of a memory, a disturbing empty whiteness, a whiff of some cleaning agent, and then... nothing.
:What the... What was I just thinking!: she thought, horrified. Why would she ever think something like that? What was that memory, and where had that come from? Thinking like that, it was...
It was the way they would have thought, back during the war. A second passed before she realized the truth of that statement. She'd reconstructed enough of their personalities on her own to know that, even without having seen the records. That was the way that they operated. Even when among friends, even when completely safe, they were unable to relax, not for a second. Even under peaceful conditions, they would have been analyzing those around them for possible weakness, in case they needed to make a quick exit... or in case their 'allies' turned on them and had to be eliminated.
But her fathers... all of the pilots had been taught to act that way, either by their upbringing or their training or both. There was nothing in her history that would account for her behaving like a terrorist on the run, analyzing those around her for weakness, looking for ways to strike at them. There was no reason for her to think that she could kill those around her...
:I could.: The thought passed through her mind as she looked around at the
Preventers. The room they were passing through held only fifteen desks, and several of those were unoccupied. There were a few people walking around, but most of the Preventers were sitting at desks. As one of them slid his chair back and stood up to get a drink, she saw that he did wear a firearm, but that the safety was on and there was a strap over the top to keep the gun from being easily drawn. :Mistake, that, if they ever actually needed the guns, that would cost them a few seconds,: she thought, the observation sounding rather distant, even in her own head. Yes, most of the people walking around were aides of some sort, not even armed, and all of the rest were stuck behind their desks. It would take several seconds for them to get out into a position where they could fire their weapons, and a little more time to get them free of the holsters... Yes, she probably could take out half the people here before they got off a shot, if she chose the moment right, and once she had a gun...
:WHAT?!: Where had that come from? Julia deliberately called to mind
Stevens' body as he fell to the ground, blood blossoming from his chest. The memory made her feel nauseous, and she welcomed the sensation as evidence that she was still feeling, that she was still *human*.
"Julia?" Sally's concerned voice broke into her thoughts.
Julia blinked once and turned to smile hesitantly at Sally, grateful for the distraction (any distraction), all the while frantically searching her memory for what Sally had just said to her. After a couple of seconds she found it. "We're meeting with Lady Une?" she asked, eyes widening. She wasn't entirely certain she liked this idea. Lady Une had had some serious issues during the war, and had tried to kill both of her parents on numerous occasions. She'd come pretty close at least once, when she threatened the colonies.
Julia knew that people could change. Zechs had defended her right after she'd been rescued, and it was obvious that he and her parents had... well, they certainly weren't friendly, but they had a decent amout of respect for each other. Still, the idea of coming face-to-face with one of the leaders of OZ didn't sound like such a great idea to her. To say nothing of the fact that Une was still one of the most powerful people in the world, in control of the largest military group on or off-planet.
"She's a good woman, and feels very guilty about what happened to you," Sally told her, apparently interpreting her comment correctly.
"Oh," Julia said, wondering what incident in particular Sally was talking about: when she'd gotten kidnapped... or when she'd gotten created?
Julia remained silent as they approached the center of the building, where there were some rather large and well-appointed offices with little groups of cubicles and desks clustered around each one. They were in almost the exact center of the building, Julia realized after a couple of seconds. She'd been building a mental map of the building and matching it against the floor map she'd seen on entering. That map had only illustrated a few of the outer corridors, the ones that visitors would normally use, but it provided an excellent reference for her to use when mapping the rest of the building. It wasn't the most interesting thing she'd ever done, but it was better than wondering if Lady Une was going to be interested in renewing old grudges. And it was definitely better than walking through the building analyzing the occupants for weakness. Where had that come from? She didn't know, and that worried her. She'd shrugged off the inexplicable in her life before, and look where it had gotten her.
Finally they entered a large room with over a dozen desks in it, and at the end was a door with two armed Preventers standing guard. They were stopped by the Preventer sitting behind the first desk, asked for identification, and then asked to wait there while the woman called her superiors and found out why two civilians were wandering around in the most restricted section of the base.
Several minutes later, Chang Wufei arrived.
Julia wasn't sure how to react to him. She'd gotten used to the idea that he was a Gundam pilot, but now she knew that he was also somehow related to her. Or at least, she had as much of his genetic material as Daddy and Tousan's. What did that make him to her? Parent? Donor?
"Preventer Chang!" the woman who'd delayed them sprang from her seat to salute him.
:Maybe they could get their weapons clear in a few seconds...: Julia mused, then stiffened as she realized where her thoughts were heading. Again. :What the hell is wrong with me?:
"I will take responsibility for them," Wufei was saying to the Preventer as she jerked her thoughts back to the present. He turned to face Sally and Julia, his bearing stiff and formal. "It will be a few minutes until the Lady can speak with you."
Sally nodded just as formally, showing no sign that the agent they were talking to was anything more than that. Julia glanced between the two of them, trying to figure out what was going on. Both of them were acting as if they'd never seen each other before, not like they were a married couple who had already celebrated their ten-year anniversary.
Then she saw Wufei glance nervously at her, and realized that he was as uncomfortable with her knowing the truth as she was. He'd probably retreated into formality until he could figure out how to deal with her. Julia frowned slightly, not liking being turned into something that had to be dealt with, but not having any better suggestions about how they should talk.
The three of them stood in uncomfortable silence for a minute, then Julia finally asked, "How are Yuko and the rest?"
The mask that was Wufei's face cracked slightly. "They are well, and progressing in their studies. And how are you?" he asked, probably automatically, judging by the slight wince after the words left his mouth.
"I... I've had better days," Julia responded quietly.
Wufei's eyes reflected sympathy for a moment before he nodded sharply and resumed staring into space. Luckily for all of them, the Preventer who'd originally stopped them told them that Lady Une was free. They walked past the rest of the desks, and one of the guards opened the door for them, gesturing them to step inside the office.
Julia stepped through first, her eyes automatically adjusting to the slightly dimmer light, and stopped short. Lady Une was standing behind a large wooden desk that looked very expensive, and standing at the side of that desk, leafing through some papers, was Zechs Marquise. :Great. Just great.: Just about everyone who'd ever tried to kill her parents was here in this room. Zechs had been kind to her before, but that was when she'd found out what she really was, so she was having some difficulty not associating his face with more pain.
Lady Une smiled kindly and moved around the desk, holding out her hand. After a couple of seconds Julia recovered enough to finish walking into the room, automatically extending her own hand. Shaking the Lady's hand, she noticed Zechs nodding a greeting to Wufei and Sally, before he settled down into staring at her.
"It's a pleasure to finally meet you," Lady Une said, gesturing for them to seat themselves in the comfortable-looking chairs in front of her desk.
"Finally?" Julia asked, not sitting. She wasn't entirely sure what she was doing here, and she didn't really want to get comfortable. Sally had told her that they needed to come to the Preventers to check out how strong she really was, but that didn't explain why she was now face-to-face with the leaders of the Preventers. Or why said woman seemed to already know her.
"Wufei has mentioned you many times," Une said with another smile, glancing at Wufei.
"Oh." Julia somehow doubted that Une's knowledge of her was limited to the 'this is my niece, isn't she cute?' variety, but she couldn't think of any way to say it that wouldn't sound as if she was calling Une a liar. :Oh, what the hell.: "And that's all you know about me?" she asked sharply.
The smile faltered slightly. "No, I also recieved a full report on you when the first kidnapping attempt was made."
Her gaze never wavered, but Julia noticed her heartbeat speed up slightly, and her breathing was slightly erratic. "And?" she asked, lowering her voice.
Une's eyes widened slightly, the only indication of her surprise, but Julia heard her heartbeat speed up another notch. "And what was in the reports for the operation that resulted in your rescue," she said, after a long pause.
:Rescue?: Julia had never thought about it that way, but that was probably accurate. The few memories she'd recovered from that time had given her nightmares for weeks, and just thinking about them made her go cold now. If they hadn't found her, she probably would have been trained as an assassin, taught to have no emotions, the way they tried to with Tousan. Rescue was definitely correct.
"Thank you."
If anything, Lady Une seemed even more surprised by her thanks. "You're welcome. Why did you come here?"
"Sally said that she couldn't test me at her clinic, that the equipment she needed was here," Julia replied wearily.
"Test you?"
"Find out exactly how strong and fast and whatever the hell else I am," Julia clarified. "She said the equipment she had there wasn't good enough. Probably better for security if she does it here, too," she said, casting a glance at Sally. Her fathers had said that the files on her and what the doctors had done were sealed. Sealed probably meant highest security, and while it had probably been done partially out of concern for her, she didn't expect that the Preventers would like having the public have any knowledge about what they'd allowed to happen.
:Me. They allowed me to be made.:
Julia pushed the thought away. Getting upset about this again wasn't going to get her anywhere. "Will you allow it or not?" she asked, realizing why she was here. If, for some reason, the Lady wouldn't allow it, she might as well go home. There she could start some serious hacking and see how good the Preventer's computer system really was, and how sealed her files really were.
"Of course."
Julia sagged slightly in relief. Despite everything, she wasn't quite ready to try to take on all of the Preventers and their security. Not quite.
She turned to Sally. "When can we begin?"
"It will take some time to get the equipment ready, depending on it's availability," Sally hedged, looking first at Une, then Wufei.
"Fine. May I look at the files in the meantime?" she asked promptly.
"What?"
"The files the doctors had about me, or the reports on my rescue, if they had a chance to destroy the files." Julia raised an eyebrow. "You don't expect me to believe that you would have thrown out that information?"
There was a short, awkward silence which Sally finally broke. "I doubt you'd be able to make anything of them. Most of them are extremely technical."
"Let me look at them," Julia insisted. She didn't think they knew exactly how smart she was and how much she had studied, so maybe she had a better chance then they knew of understanding it. And even if she couldn't understand it, she could always memorize it and figure out what it meant later.
"They're classified..." Lady Une started, then trailed off, averting her eyes.
"They're me," Julia said, taking a step forward. Une backed up a step. "The files are on me. I want to know what I am." She spoke slowly, in a low voice, but her entire body trembled with pent-up emotion. "I deserve to see them, more than just about anyone."
Suddenly Lady Une's heartbeat calmed, and her breathing no longer showed any signs of labor. She gazed calmly at Julia for a long moment, then nodded. "You're right. My apologies. I will call for someone to take you there immediately."
"What? Why can't Wufei take me?" Julia really didn't like the idea of looking through the files with some unknown Preventer looking over her shoulder.
"Preventer Chang has other duties that I've already called him away from," Lady Une replied, then added, "And he is unfamiliar with that region of our storage area." She reached for the comm. on her desk.
"I'll take her," Zechs suddenly offered from his place by the desk. He'd set down the papers he'd been studying and abandoned any pretense at looking at them, now completely focused on their discussion.
Four heads snapped around to look at him.
----
Duo was working on deconstructing an engine that had had one too many breakdowns for it's previous owner. They'd sold it to one of his people at a good price, and within a couple of hours he'd found that the problem only affected a few parts. The rest were in great condition and could be either sold or incorporated into other engines, as soon as he took this one apart.
It was good to be working on things, using his hands. For as long as he could remember, he'd always enjoyed working with machinery. It had gotten him in trouble more times then he wanted to think about, but he would never be able to give it up. There was a serenity associated with working with his hands on a completely mundane, solvable problem. He could sit there and work, and not have to think about things. :Though figuring out how to get that damn thermal blade to work underwater required a bit of thought,: he admitted to himself, smiling at the memory of that triumph.
The smile disappeared almost as soon as it appeared, as he remembered Deathscythe, what his involvement with the scientists had caused, and the original reason he'd had for coming out here to work and not think.
Lady Une, of all people, had called a few hours ago to say that Julia was at Preventer headquarters. Apparently she'd shown up at Sally's office and demanded to know everything that Sally knew about her, and when Sally couldn't give her all the answers she wanted, she went to the Preventers to get it. According to Lady Une, she'd managed to intimidate half of the staff on the walk in, and had all but ordered Une to show Julia the files on herself.
Zechs was taking her to see the files on the mission where they'd found her while Sally prepared some equipment to test Julia's abilities.
He was going to have a long talk with Lady Une about both of those things, first chance he got. He didn't have anything against Zechs, but he wasn't exactly at the top of the list of people he wanted his daughter running around with, especially when she was discovering painful things about her past. And this whole business of 'testing' her, like she was some lab animal...
:Damn it.: He couldn't even sustain a legitimate sense of irritation about this; he knew very well that it was probably Julia's idea that she be tested. She'd want to know everything about herself, and she'd keep going until she had her answers. Her determination was one of the many things she'd inherited - or learned - from her parents. He couldn't possibly be angry with her for being tenacious - he'd pursued revenge on Oz for years, he wouldn't be where he was now if not for it. None of them would have gotten anywhere without that determination.
Despite all of his best intentions otherwise, he couldn't stop thinking about this, about her. About the look on her face as the body of that son of a bitch flew backwards, the utter misery in her eyes before she collapsed in his arms. It was one of his worst nightmares come to life, to see that awful soul-killing guilt in her eyes. And now, because they hadn't told her the truth, she wouldn't even let them be close enough to comfort her.
:Shoulda known better than to try to hide it from her that long,: he thought ruefully. He might never lie, but he knew better than most how damning a partial truth could be. And now, thanks to him, so did Julia.
Duo went back to dismantling the engine with renewed energy.
Well, here's the next section. Sorry about the incredibly long wait. Had finals, and then writer's block, but I think I know where I'm going with it now. Maybe. Anyway, I'm not sure how much I liked this section. Julia was somewhat confused, so I think the writing style was inconsistent, but that may just be in my head. There is some wierd stuff coming up in her head now that she knows the truth, which accounts for some of it. In any case, thanks to all who have stuck with this story for so long!
Marika :)
"May I say who's asking for her?" asked the receptionist.
"Tell her Julia's here."
"Julia..." the receptionist drew out the name, obviously waiting for a last name.
"Just tell her Julia," she said, swallowing hard. "She'll know who I am."
The blind anger and shock that had been with her for most of yesterday had faded over the night. She hadn't slept, but she had done a lot of thinking. And a lot of planning.
This morning she'd gotten up and changed into some of her clothes, which were dry. Her shoes were still damp, but it was only a minor discomfort, and measured against other things, fairly inconsequential.
:Lets see... compared to everyone I love lying to me for my entire life about what I am, yes, damp feet are reasonably inconsequential.:
The receptionist didn't look convinced at this claim, but something in Julia's expression must have told her that it wasn't worth arguing about. "Just a moment," she said politely, picking up the phone. "Dr. Chang?"
Julia clearly heard Sally's voice on the other end of the line, in addition to a faint echo from one of the back rooms. "Yes?" Sally sounded tired.
"There is a Miss..." the receptionist hesitated for a second, then continued, "There's a Julia here to see you."
There was no response from the other end of the line, but Julia heard something fall and hit the ground, and then heard a door open and feet running down the hall. She turned her head towards the hall just as Sally burst through the door. The older woman's eyes immediately went to Julia, and she took a step towards her, holding out a hand as if to embrace Julia. Julia's eyes narrowed slightly and she took a half-step back, just out of reach.
Sally froze, her hand outstretched, then let it fall to her side. "Do you have any idea how worried your parents are?" she asked quietly. "They were frantic."
"I know," Julia said, swallowing hard. She glanced once at the receptionist. She didn't want to talk in front of her. "Can I talk to you?"
"Of course, this way," Sally gestured towards the hall, and Julia followed her into a small office.
Julia waited until Sally had closed the door, then immediately said, "You knew."
Sally looked upset, but not surprised. "Yes, I did. Your parents needed someone to confide in, and someone who was trained as a doctor. I was their friend, and a Preventer, so they told me. They didn't go around telling everyone," she said, obviously knowing one of Julia's questions ahead of time.
"Zechs knew!" Julia snapped in response.
Sally blinked, then recovered. "He knew because he led the mission to find out what the scientists were doing. He was also the one who signed off on sealing the files so that you would have a chance at a normal life." She flinched as soon as the words left her mouth, probably realizing that they weren't the best words to chose.
"A normal life?!" Julia asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "I'm an inhuman freak created for war. I plowed through a steel door, I never get sick, I'm a genius, and, oh yes, I get blinding headaches and white flashes because my mind can't handle all the enhancements they built into me! Yeah, I had a real good shot at having a normal life," she finished bitterly.
"You've been having difficulties?" Sally asked quietly.
Julia swallowed the sarcastic comment that first came to mind and looked away, trying to get control of herself. She'd come here for answers, not to yell at Sally. "Yes," she said in a short, flat, voice. "Do you know why?"
"Not for sure, but I can make a guess," Sally said, sitting at her desk. "Your enhanced abilities first began to kick in when you should have hit a major growth spurt. That was when you first started getting the headaches. You did learn to deal with them, so your abilities were no longer a problem. They stopped getting stronger - as quickly - for a time while your body caught up, then got stronger again. Do you remember the headaches you had a few years ago?"
Julia did, all too well. "They weren't as bad as when I was little, and they only lasted for a few days," she said suspiciously.
"It was because you already knew how to deal with the problem, and adjusted automatically. Also, the changes in your abilities were not as great. But in the last few months, the enhancements have begun increasing at an accelerated rate again, and what you've used before just isn't enough to handle the increased stress all the time."
"So," Julia swallowed. "It's going to get worse?"
"Quite possibly."
"How much worse?" She saw the helpless look on Sally's face and altered her question. "For how much longer?"
"It's impossible to know for certain... but, based on the previous occasions... no more than six months, on the outside. Possibly as little as three."
"Three more months?" Julia repeated slowly. "It's going to keep getting worse for another three months?"
"At least."
Julia swallowed. Her senses had only begun getting sensitive again a few months ago, and already the changes were great enough that they were causing her problems. Granted, that might have been because she was expending so much energy, both physical and emotional, on her studies, but in another few months... If it was as bad as she thought it would be, she'd have trouble functioning at school, to say nothing of actually using her abilities. "Is there... how do I deal with them? I haven't had a problem in years, what was I doing then that I'm not doing now?"
"I don't know for certain," Sally replied. "There's never been... the situation has never come up before. My guess would be that your abilities have simply progressed beyond the point where your subconscious mind could easily deal with the flow of information."
"So there's nothing I can do?" Julia asked, trying not to let Sally know how frightened she was. If there was nothing she could do to get control of it, she would go crazy, she knew it. She remembered all too clearly the white chaos that had overtaken her mind when they shot her with the darts. Now she knew it was because the darts had clouded her mind, caused her control to slip for an instant, and that was the result. Was that what was going to happen to her eventually? That one day she'd slip into that awful white haze and never come out of it?
"I didn't say that!" Sally said quickly. "Now that you know what the problem, it's entirely possible that you will be able to train your mind to deal with the increased flow of information."
"What? Why does me knowing make a difference?"
"Before all we could teach you was little concentration exercises, ways of learning to cut down on what you were thinking about. That's all standard meditation. Your mind took those lessons and automatically started using them as a sort of self-defense against your own abilities. But the process was entirely sub-conscious, and therefore more tedious. Theoretically, now that you know what the problem is, you should be able to deal with the problem directly, more efficiently, especially the way that your mind works. It could make a big difference."
Julia thought back to the argument she'd had with her parents, how she'd started to lose control of her sight and just brought it back under control. And she hadn't had a problem since then, despite the fact that she'd been running on an emotional high for a while now. She nodded slowly.
"You think that might work?" Sally asked hopefully.
"I... have already done that. It's easier to keep things from getting out of control than it was a few days ago," Julia admitted. "But... if things keep getting worse..."
"There is another option," Sally said slowly, reluctantly. "Duo has been very set against it, but the option remains. There are drugs I can give you to help dull your senses. I don't know if they will work on you, with your immunities and metabolism, and there may be side effects... but it is an option."
"No drugs!" Julia said sharply, squeezing her eyes shut.
"Julia..."
"NO DRUGS!" Julia shouted. "Not again!" Without warning her senses burst out of control again. Her own racing heartbeat pounded in her ears, deafening her, and she could feel the wrinkles in her own skin where her hands were clenched into fists. At least her eyes were already closed.
Julia struggled for control. :I can do this,: she told herself determinedly. :It's just information. I don't have to feel all this. Just tone it down.:
It took her several minutes of intense concentration, but she managed to do just that. The problem got no worse, and her world did not dissolve into a white haze. Finally things returned to normal (for her), and she dared to open her eyes. Sally was still sitting at her desk, staring silently at her.
"Are you all right?" she asked quietly.
"I have it under control," Julia said stiffly.
"Why did you have that kind of reaction?"
"What?"
"You're trembling," Sally said, her voice full of worry. She was staring at Julia's hands. Julia looked down and realized that her hands were clenched in fists, and she was still trembling.
Her entire body was shaking with a barely controlled terror. She'd had to shut it out before, to get control of her senses, but now that she thought about it, she could feel it again, terror that still had her heart racing and her breath coming in short pants. She hadn't panicked like this when she'd been captured, why was she doing it now?
"I... I don't know," she said, trying to keep herself calm, or else she'd bring on another loss of control. She could feel tears pricking her eyes and fought to keep them there. "I don't know! They... they drugged me when they kidnapped me..." that was the wrong thing to say, since it brought back memories of the white haze, but even as she said it, she knew that wasn't the source of her terror. A flash of a memory fragment came to mind, a needle filled with some substance, a hauntingly familiar face, and then fire spreading throughout her entire body. Then it was gone, no matter how she grasped for it. "I... I can't remember," she said in a gasp, hugging her arms and rocking back and forth slightly. "But... no drugs," she finally finished, remembering the important part of the conversation. "No drugs," she repeated, looking pleadingly at Sally for a promise that she wouldn't do that to her.
"No drugs," Sally repeated, although she still looked worried. "You can't remember?"
Julia searched again for that elusive memory fragment, this time taking notice of her body's response, and wasn't particularly surprised to find herself tensing up again at the thought of any drugs. But she couldn't quite find it. "No," she replied quietly. This had never happened to her before - she could always find a memory, no matter how far back. This was the first time she'd ever had any difficulty remembering something, and she wasn't enjoying the experience.
After a few more seconds of fruitless searching, she shook her head slightly, trying to dispel some of the tension. "I can't remember it," she repeated. "Can we not talk about this?" she asked sharply.
Sally looked even more worried, but after a few seconds she nodded. Julia used that time to compose her thoughts slightly.
"Yesterday my... yesterday they said that they didn't know how strong I was because there was no way to test me without making me suspicious. Well," she gave a slightly bitter laugh. "You can test me now."
Sally closed her eyes briefly. "Julia... are you sure..."
"I want to know what I am, what I can do. I... you know what I did to the door," Julia said, automatically avoiding mentioning her kidnapping more specifically. "When I got home, I punched through a wall. I... I could really hurt somebody, without meaning to," she finished quietly, thinking of the kidnapper whose leg she'd broken when he tried to beat her. She wasn't sorry about that, but what if it had been... what if it had been someone she cared about? She sparred with people all the time... "I need to know. You can help me figure it out, right?"
"I can... but I don't have the equipment here that I'd need."
"What?"
"The equipment... it's not sensitive enough. Your eyesight and hearing have progressed beyond my ability to test with standard equipment."
Julia swallowed, then nodded her head sharply. "Fine. Where can we go?"
Sally paused for a second, then said, "Preventer Headquarters has everything I'd need. We'd have to get them involved, anyway."
"Because I'm classified material," Julia said bitterly.
Looking very much as if she would like to be able to disagree, Sally responded, "It was to protect you."
Julia snorted. "Lets go."
To her surprise, Sally didn't try to argue. "All right, but I have to call ahead, let them know we're coming." She hesitated for a second, then added, "If you want, I can have them have a doctor waiting to perform the tests, if you'd be more comfortable that way."
Julia blinked as she realized what Sally was offering, and thought it over. She might be angry with Sally for keeping secrets from her, but it hadn't been her idea, and the thought of some strange doctor poking at her was frightening. Especially if he started treating her like some sort of science project, the way the people who'd wanted to take her away when she was younger had, before her fathers put a stop to the testing. She shuddered.
"No. I want you," she said quickly.
-----------
The ride to Preventer headquarters wasn't long, but it felt that way, since they rode in silence. They were stopped at the gate by a guard who asked for their names, then waved through to another guard and another gate, who asked them the same thing and then pointed to a parking lot they could use. Once they actually got inside the main building (it turned out that the headquarters was more of a compound than she'd expected, with a number of smaller buildings surrounding the main one), they went through another security checkpoint, where they were both given badges to wear for the duration of their stay.
"I have to go check in," Sally said as they started down one of the halls, passing a lot of people in those ugly Preventer uniforms and getting a lot of stares, presumably because they weren't wearing them.
"Didn't we do that already?" Julia asked, glaring at some man who wouldn't stop staring at her for some reason. His eyes widened, and he turned as white as a sheet before hastily turning away.
Sally's eyes were narrowed thoughtfully, and she stared at the man as she answered. "We checked in with security. I need to go report to my commanding officer, if I'm on base."
"Who's your commanding officer?"
"Lady Une."
Julia stopped short. "What?"
Sally turned to look at her. "I was a special operative, the same as your fathers, and your uncles. We reported only to Lady Une."
"Oh," Julia repeated, feeling very, very stupid for not realizing that sooner, for being surprised by that information. Then she was distracted by another Preventer staring at her. She glared at him, too, and he had a remarkably similar reaction to the first.
A few days ago she might have ignored this, assumed it was some strange coincidence that the two men had such a similar reaction, or even dismissed the observation as being in her own mind, but that was before she'd been kidnapped, shot a man, and had her entire universe turned upside down. She turned to Sally, keeping a wary eye on the Preventers around her.
"Why are they doing that?"
"Doing what?" Sally asked.
"That," Julia said, nodded slightly toward a third Preventer who was looking at her the same way as the first two. Like them, he was an older man, at least in his forties, and he was looking at her with the same puzzled expression as the other two. She stared back at him, waiting for him to realize it was rude to stare, but his perplexed frown only deepened slightly, as if he was trying to remember something. Julia glared at him, and he actually winced before hastily turning away.
"That," she repeated, seeing that Sally had observed the entire encounter. "Why are they doing that?"
Sally glanced at the man for a long moment, then at Julia, then back at the man, and finally she sighed. "You're frightening them."
"What?!" Julia somehow managed to keep that from coming out as a shriek, but just barely.
Sally closed her eyes and sighed again. "You may not see it, but you do look like your parents," she pointed out, and Julia remembered the dozens of times she'd looked in the mirror, doing what she thought was wishful thinking as she observed the similarities between her appearance and that of her fathers'.
After pausing for a long moment, Sally continued, "Especially when you're glaring at people like that."
"Like what?" Julia said, giving Sally an example of said glare.
"As if you were already planning where you'd bury their bodies to cover the murder," Sally responded quietly.
Julia's irritation dissolved as Sally's words sunk in. "I... they... they think I look like my parents did back *then*?" she demanded in a harsh whisper. She thought back to the expressions on their faces when Stevens had held a gun to her head. It had been one of the most frightening things she'd ever seen. The Preventers saw some of that in *her*?!
"I would never..." she started, and then trailed off. 'I would never kill someone,' she'd been about to say, but she couldn't even say that was the truth anymore. Memories she'd been trying to repress suddenly rose to the fore, causing an almost physical pain. Julia closed her eyes tight, trying to keep tears from leaking out. She shook her head once, then hoped that Sally hadn't seen the motion. She wiped each of her eyes once, carefully, to get rid of the betraying moisture.
"I would never hurt them," she finally said.
"They thought that mere children could never hurt them," Sally continued, her voice somewhat distant, as if she were lost in thought. "And some of the men here saw their comrades pay for that mistake with their lives. You can't blame them for being wary."
No, Julia couldn't blame them for being wary, even for being afraid of her. They had good reason - she'd been created by the same people who created the Gundams... The same people who, in a way, had created the pilots. They'd made her for war...
:And if I wanted to, I could kill most of them before they could do anything to stop me...: the thought passed through her mind, accompanied by a fragment of a memory, a disturbing empty whiteness, a whiff of some cleaning agent, and then... nothing.
:What the... What was I just thinking!: she thought, horrified. Why would she ever think something like that? What was that memory, and where had that come from? Thinking like that, it was...
It was the way they would have thought, back during the war. A second passed before she realized the truth of that statement. She'd reconstructed enough of their personalities on her own to know that, even without having seen the records. That was the way that they operated. Even when among friends, even when completely safe, they were unable to relax, not for a second. Even under peaceful conditions, they would have been analyzing those around them for possible weakness, in case they needed to make a quick exit... or in case their 'allies' turned on them and had to be eliminated.
But her fathers... all of the pilots had been taught to act that way, either by their upbringing or their training or both. There was nothing in her history that would account for her behaving like a terrorist on the run, analyzing those around her for weakness, looking for ways to strike at them. There was no reason for her to think that she could kill those around her...
:I could.: The thought passed through her mind as she looked around at the
Preventers. The room they were passing through held only fifteen desks, and several of those were unoccupied. There were a few people walking around, but most of the Preventers were sitting at desks. As one of them slid his chair back and stood up to get a drink, she saw that he did wear a firearm, but that the safety was on and there was a strap over the top to keep the gun from being easily drawn. :Mistake, that, if they ever actually needed the guns, that would cost them a few seconds,: she thought, the observation sounding rather distant, even in her own head. Yes, most of the people walking around were aides of some sort, not even armed, and all of the rest were stuck behind their desks. It would take several seconds for them to get out into a position where they could fire their weapons, and a little more time to get them free of the holsters... Yes, she probably could take out half the people here before they got off a shot, if she chose the moment right, and once she had a gun...
:WHAT?!: Where had that come from? Julia deliberately called to mind
Stevens' body as he fell to the ground, blood blossoming from his chest. The memory made her feel nauseous, and she welcomed the sensation as evidence that she was still feeling, that she was still *human*.
"Julia?" Sally's concerned voice broke into her thoughts.
Julia blinked once and turned to smile hesitantly at Sally, grateful for the distraction (any distraction), all the while frantically searching her memory for what Sally had just said to her. After a couple of seconds she found it. "We're meeting with Lady Une?" she asked, eyes widening. She wasn't entirely certain she liked this idea. Lady Une had had some serious issues during the war, and had tried to kill both of her parents on numerous occasions. She'd come pretty close at least once, when she threatened the colonies.
Julia knew that people could change. Zechs had defended her right after she'd been rescued, and it was obvious that he and her parents had... well, they certainly weren't friendly, but they had a decent amout of respect for each other. Still, the idea of coming face-to-face with one of the leaders of OZ didn't sound like such a great idea to her. To say nothing of the fact that Une was still one of the most powerful people in the world, in control of the largest military group on or off-planet.
"She's a good woman, and feels very guilty about what happened to you," Sally told her, apparently interpreting her comment correctly.
"Oh," Julia said, wondering what incident in particular Sally was talking about: when she'd gotten kidnapped... or when she'd gotten created?
Julia remained silent as they approached the center of the building, where there were some rather large and well-appointed offices with little groups of cubicles and desks clustered around each one. They were in almost the exact center of the building, Julia realized after a couple of seconds. She'd been building a mental map of the building and matching it against the floor map she'd seen on entering. That map had only illustrated a few of the outer corridors, the ones that visitors would normally use, but it provided an excellent reference for her to use when mapping the rest of the building. It wasn't the most interesting thing she'd ever done, but it was better than wondering if Lady Une was going to be interested in renewing old grudges. And it was definitely better than walking through the building analyzing the occupants for weakness. Where had that come from? She didn't know, and that worried her. She'd shrugged off the inexplicable in her life before, and look where it had gotten her.
Finally they entered a large room with over a dozen desks in it, and at the end was a door with two armed Preventers standing guard. They were stopped by the Preventer sitting behind the first desk, asked for identification, and then asked to wait there while the woman called her superiors and found out why two civilians were wandering around in the most restricted section of the base.
Several minutes later, Chang Wufei arrived.
Julia wasn't sure how to react to him. She'd gotten used to the idea that he was a Gundam pilot, but now she knew that he was also somehow related to her. Or at least, she had as much of his genetic material as Daddy and Tousan's. What did that make him to her? Parent? Donor?
"Preventer Chang!" the woman who'd delayed them sprang from her seat to salute him.
:Maybe they could get their weapons clear in a few seconds...: Julia mused, then stiffened as she realized where her thoughts were heading. Again. :What the hell is wrong with me?:
"I will take responsibility for them," Wufei was saying to the Preventer as she jerked her thoughts back to the present. He turned to face Sally and Julia, his bearing stiff and formal. "It will be a few minutes until the Lady can speak with you."
Sally nodded just as formally, showing no sign that the agent they were talking to was anything more than that. Julia glanced between the two of them, trying to figure out what was going on. Both of them were acting as if they'd never seen each other before, not like they were a married couple who had already celebrated their ten-year anniversary.
Then she saw Wufei glance nervously at her, and realized that he was as uncomfortable with her knowing the truth as she was. He'd probably retreated into formality until he could figure out how to deal with her. Julia frowned slightly, not liking being turned into something that had to be dealt with, but not having any better suggestions about how they should talk.
The three of them stood in uncomfortable silence for a minute, then Julia finally asked, "How are Yuko and the rest?"
The mask that was Wufei's face cracked slightly. "They are well, and progressing in their studies. And how are you?" he asked, probably automatically, judging by the slight wince after the words left his mouth.
"I... I've had better days," Julia responded quietly.
Wufei's eyes reflected sympathy for a moment before he nodded sharply and resumed staring into space. Luckily for all of them, the Preventer who'd originally stopped them told them that Lady Une was free. They walked past the rest of the desks, and one of the guards opened the door for them, gesturing them to step inside the office.
Julia stepped through first, her eyes automatically adjusting to the slightly dimmer light, and stopped short. Lady Une was standing behind a large wooden desk that looked very expensive, and standing at the side of that desk, leafing through some papers, was Zechs Marquise. :Great. Just great.: Just about everyone who'd ever tried to kill her parents was here in this room. Zechs had been kind to her before, but that was when she'd found out what she really was, so she was having some difficulty not associating his face with more pain.
Lady Une smiled kindly and moved around the desk, holding out her hand. After a couple of seconds Julia recovered enough to finish walking into the room, automatically extending her own hand. Shaking the Lady's hand, she noticed Zechs nodding a greeting to Wufei and Sally, before he settled down into staring at her.
"It's a pleasure to finally meet you," Lady Une said, gesturing for them to seat themselves in the comfortable-looking chairs in front of her desk.
"Finally?" Julia asked, not sitting. She wasn't entirely sure what she was doing here, and she didn't really want to get comfortable. Sally had told her that they needed to come to the Preventers to check out how strong she really was, but that didn't explain why she was now face-to-face with the leaders of the Preventers. Or why said woman seemed to already know her.
"Wufei has mentioned you many times," Une said with another smile, glancing at Wufei.
"Oh." Julia somehow doubted that Une's knowledge of her was limited to the 'this is my niece, isn't she cute?' variety, but she couldn't think of any way to say it that wouldn't sound as if she was calling Une a liar. :Oh, what the hell.: "And that's all you know about me?" she asked sharply.
The smile faltered slightly. "No, I also recieved a full report on you when the first kidnapping attempt was made."
Her gaze never wavered, but Julia noticed her heartbeat speed up slightly, and her breathing was slightly erratic. "And?" she asked, lowering her voice.
Une's eyes widened slightly, the only indication of her surprise, but Julia heard her heartbeat speed up another notch. "And what was in the reports for the operation that resulted in your rescue," she said, after a long pause.
:Rescue?: Julia had never thought about it that way, but that was probably accurate. The few memories she'd recovered from that time had given her nightmares for weeks, and just thinking about them made her go cold now. If they hadn't found her, she probably would have been trained as an assassin, taught to have no emotions, the way they tried to with Tousan. Rescue was definitely correct.
"Thank you."
If anything, Lady Une seemed even more surprised by her thanks. "You're welcome. Why did you come here?"
"Sally said that she couldn't test me at her clinic, that the equipment she needed was here," Julia replied wearily.
"Test you?"
"Find out exactly how strong and fast and whatever the hell else I am," Julia clarified. "She said the equipment she had there wasn't good enough. Probably better for security if she does it here, too," she said, casting a glance at Sally. Her fathers had said that the files on her and what the doctors had done were sealed. Sealed probably meant highest security, and while it had probably been done partially out of concern for her, she didn't expect that the Preventers would like having the public have any knowledge about what they'd allowed to happen.
:Me. They allowed me to be made.:
Julia pushed the thought away. Getting upset about this again wasn't going to get her anywhere. "Will you allow it or not?" she asked, realizing why she was here. If, for some reason, the Lady wouldn't allow it, she might as well go home. There she could start some serious hacking and see how good the Preventer's computer system really was, and how sealed her files really were.
"Of course."
Julia sagged slightly in relief. Despite everything, she wasn't quite ready to try to take on all of the Preventers and their security. Not quite.
She turned to Sally. "When can we begin?"
"It will take some time to get the equipment ready, depending on it's availability," Sally hedged, looking first at Une, then Wufei.
"Fine. May I look at the files in the meantime?" she asked promptly.
"What?"
"The files the doctors had about me, or the reports on my rescue, if they had a chance to destroy the files." Julia raised an eyebrow. "You don't expect me to believe that you would have thrown out that information?"
There was a short, awkward silence which Sally finally broke. "I doubt you'd be able to make anything of them. Most of them are extremely technical."
"Let me look at them," Julia insisted. She didn't think they knew exactly how smart she was and how much she had studied, so maybe she had a better chance then they knew of understanding it. And even if she couldn't understand it, she could always memorize it and figure out what it meant later.
"They're classified..." Lady Une started, then trailed off, averting her eyes.
"They're me," Julia said, taking a step forward. Une backed up a step. "The files are on me. I want to know what I am." She spoke slowly, in a low voice, but her entire body trembled with pent-up emotion. "I deserve to see them, more than just about anyone."
Suddenly Lady Une's heartbeat calmed, and her breathing no longer showed any signs of labor. She gazed calmly at Julia for a long moment, then nodded. "You're right. My apologies. I will call for someone to take you there immediately."
"What? Why can't Wufei take me?" Julia really didn't like the idea of looking through the files with some unknown Preventer looking over her shoulder.
"Preventer Chang has other duties that I've already called him away from," Lady Une replied, then added, "And he is unfamiliar with that region of our storage area." She reached for the comm. on her desk.
"I'll take her," Zechs suddenly offered from his place by the desk. He'd set down the papers he'd been studying and abandoned any pretense at looking at them, now completely focused on their discussion.
Four heads snapped around to look at him.
----
Duo was working on deconstructing an engine that had had one too many breakdowns for it's previous owner. They'd sold it to one of his people at a good price, and within a couple of hours he'd found that the problem only affected a few parts. The rest were in great condition and could be either sold or incorporated into other engines, as soon as he took this one apart.
It was good to be working on things, using his hands. For as long as he could remember, he'd always enjoyed working with machinery. It had gotten him in trouble more times then he wanted to think about, but he would never be able to give it up. There was a serenity associated with working with his hands on a completely mundane, solvable problem. He could sit there and work, and not have to think about things. :Though figuring out how to get that damn thermal blade to work underwater required a bit of thought,: he admitted to himself, smiling at the memory of that triumph.
The smile disappeared almost as soon as it appeared, as he remembered Deathscythe, what his involvement with the scientists had caused, and the original reason he'd had for coming out here to work and not think.
Lady Une, of all people, had called a few hours ago to say that Julia was at Preventer headquarters. Apparently she'd shown up at Sally's office and demanded to know everything that Sally knew about her, and when Sally couldn't give her all the answers she wanted, she went to the Preventers to get it. According to Lady Une, she'd managed to intimidate half of the staff on the walk in, and had all but ordered Une to show Julia the files on herself.
Zechs was taking her to see the files on the mission where they'd found her while Sally prepared some equipment to test Julia's abilities.
He was going to have a long talk with Lady Une about both of those things, first chance he got. He didn't have anything against Zechs, but he wasn't exactly at the top of the list of people he wanted his daughter running around with, especially when she was discovering painful things about her past. And this whole business of 'testing' her, like she was some lab animal...
:Damn it.: He couldn't even sustain a legitimate sense of irritation about this; he knew very well that it was probably Julia's idea that she be tested. She'd want to know everything about herself, and she'd keep going until she had her answers. Her determination was one of the many things she'd inherited - or learned - from her parents. He couldn't possibly be angry with her for being tenacious - he'd pursued revenge on Oz for years, he wouldn't be where he was now if not for it. None of them would have gotten anywhere without that determination.
Despite all of his best intentions otherwise, he couldn't stop thinking about this, about her. About the look on her face as the body of that son of a bitch flew backwards, the utter misery in her eyes before she collapsed in his arms. It was one of his worst nightmares come to life, to see that awful soul-killing guilt in her eyes. And now, because they hadn't told her the truth, she wouldn't even let them be close enough to comfort her.
:Shoulda known better than to try to hide it from her that long,: he thought ruefully. He might never lie, but he knew better than most how damning a partial truth could be. And now, thanks to him, so did Julia.
Duo went back to dismantling the engine with renewed energy.
Well, here's the next section. Sorry about the incredibly long wait. Had finals, and then writer's block, but I think I know where I'm going with it now. Maybe. Anyway, I'm not sure how much I liked this section. Julia was somewhat confused, so I think the writing style was inconsistent, but that may just be in my head. There is some wierd stuff coming up in her head now that she knows the truth, which accounts for some of it. In any case, thanks to all who have stuck with this story for so long!
Marika :)