a/n: I don't own anything; everything in this fic belongs to the person who created it.
FYI: In an MST series (the site it was on unfortunately closed down) "Scott Riddle" and Hermione were going out. Therefore, he idolizes her in this fic. K?
(during the break, Lucius charges the stage and the following scene ensues)
Lucius: Draco! Pookie! Daddy's going to make it all better sweetums! Don't you worry honey!
(Turns his wrath on the audience)
Lucius: WHO CAUSED MY POOR BABY POO TO BE NAMED THIS HORRID THING! I WILL KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL YOU!
Audience: Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
Scott: (using 500 pounds of hair gel) Security!
(Security dudes come out and distribute raisinets to the audience. The audience proceeds to peg Lucius with them until he cries)
Lucius: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I WANT MY BLANKY!!!!!!!!!! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! (Runs away)
(Everyone bursts into laughter except for Draco who is nursing his battle scars and looking mortified at his father's behavior under a chair)
(When everyone has calmed down enough so as not to appear drunk, the cameras are turned back on)
Scott: Welcome back to Whose Line! If you're keeping score at home call 1-800-IAM-SCREWED for a free analysis of your mental condition. Anyway, the next game is called questions only. This is for all four contestants. (Hermione and Draco walk into the middle of the stage while Ron and Harry stand off to the side, Ron behind Hermione and Harry behind Draco) In this game, they are in the middle of a perfectly normal scene... oh yeah, there is that one teeny tiny insignificant little factor; they can only speak in questions. If they DON'T, however, I will buzz them out and the person behind them will take their place. The scene is you are first years on your very first day at Hogwarts.
Hermione: What house are you assigned to?
Draco: What's a house?
Hermione: Are you a squib?
Draco: DID YOU JUST CALL ME A SQUIB??? YOU... YOU... MUDBLOOD.
Scott: *buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz* Insulting my girlfriend is not allowed, and further more, the last thing you said was not a question.
(Harry comes in)
Harry: Where am I?
Hermione: Don't you know?
Harry: Isn't this the kitchen with all of those house elves?
Hermione: FREE THE HOUSE ELVES! LIBERATION! STOP THIS UNJUST TREATMENT OF OUR FELLOW MAGICAL CREATURES!
Scott: *buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz* Not a question Herm.
(Ron comes in)
Ron: Is this the great hall?
Harry: How should I know?
Ron: Aren't you Albus Dumbledore?
Harry: Do I look that old?
Ron: Ummm... ummm... ummm... ahhh...
Scott: *buzzzzzzzz*
(Hermione comes in)
Hermione: Aren't you going to join SPEW?
Harry: What's spew?
Hermione: What do you think?
Harry: Umm... nothing sane.
Scott:*buzzzzzzzzzz*
(Draco comes in)
Draco: Who are you?
Scott: *buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz* I love that sound, don't you? And this cute little button, that's just soooooooooo much fun to press! Golly gee!
Death Eaters: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! PUT DRACO BACK IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE LOVE DRACO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Go Draco! Go Draco! Go Draco! (waving grammatically incorrect banners around) DRACO KICKS *beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*
Scott: (rolls his eyes) Harry?
(Harry comes out, and shoves Draco "accidentally" back)
Harry: Haven't we met?
Hermione: Are you flirting with me?
Harry: Is it that obvious?
Scott: *buzzzzzzzzz* NO FLIRTING WITH MY GIRLFRIEND POTTER!!
Harry: Fudgesickles! (a/n this comment is censored since I am way to lazy to change the rating, k?)
(Draco comes out)
Draco: Who am I?
Hermione: Does anyone care? (looks at the audience)
Audience: Uhhh... well... ummm... uhh... no?
Death Eaters: WE DO! WE LOVE YOU DRACO!!
Scott:*buzzzzzzzz* Death Eaters are out.
Death Eaters: Awww foo!
Scott:*buzzzzzzzz* Thank you guys. 5 bajillion points to Hermione cause she's the only one who didn't piss me off. 1 bajillion each to Ron and Harry cause they tried. And a moldy banana to Draco. 'Nuff said.
(Draco lunges at Scott while he is making a desperate slashing motion at the camera and we go to a commercial)