Author's note: This one-shot story takes place in season four's "Supersymmetry" episode, at the time when amnesiac Cordelia stakes a vampire with success and takes her happiness out on Connor. I am not entirely appalled about this pairing, so no flames about them!

Disclaimer: Angel isn't mine. Just borrowing characters for twisted fun.

Perfect Understanding

"I did that! I did that! Oh I did that!" Cordelia sang happily as the cloud of vampire dust disappeared. Jumping at Connor in joy, she let out a squeal as he spun her around a victory circle, her short auburn hair blocking his vision temporarily. Before he could congratulate her, warmth touched his mouth. Then it came again, slower. He was kissing her, his frozen mind sputtered out. By the time the realization hit, Cordelia had pulled back, her hand rising next to her lips.

"What is it?" Connor questioned in confusion at her stare. He certainly didn't mind what happened. It felt nice, if not strange.

Her widened hazel eyes matched his inquiring blue ones, staring.

* * * * * *

Connor's eyes swept over the dingy room of an attic he found at the natural history museum. Newly decorated with Cordelia's help, he was glad she was here. The room never felt quite as chilly with her inside. It seemed fuller too, like she was the last puzzle piece needed to make the setting perfect and right. He went to a corner to put away the stakes used on their trip while Cordelia picked up a strewn shirt of hers to stuff into her drawer. With a growing smile, he sidled up from behind and looped arms around her slender waist. He murmured, "How about some more training? Then tomorrow we can..."

The lovely girl turned to face him, taking his hands and pressing them together. Her words came sultry, "And then what?"

Light flickered in his eyes as he considered his response, reveling in her contact. "I'll leave the rest a surprise."

"You'd leave a girl in suspense? That's very mean of you."

Heart hammering in his ears like crashing thunder, Connor paused. What he did next would shape into a new event that rarely popped up in his world. Cordelia's memory had left her and he shouldn't intrude on her recovery, but he wanted to feel something other than pain. Something other than bitterness and all the negativity that swelled within. It's wrong, he knew, but a hunger gnawed inside, some urge so clear and primal that it almost scared him. It scared him because all he wanted to experience was this entity called love. A brush with it would finally satisfy the curiosity, the itch that came with a first time experience Couldn't he give in this impulse? Just for a while? Discovery still remained a part of his persona and it would be a shame to suppress it. Only a little, only a little, Connor's mind begged. A bit of happiness and then he would understand. He drew in a breath and a dash of courage and leaned forward with kissing intent.

Cordelia's lips twitched on his, her body started to recede as ocean waves would. Panicked, his hands drifted against her back, pressing her closer to his beating chest, his body, willed her to stop drifting. Please don't go, his thoughts pleaded in silent agony. He wanted this brightness so bad. Craved it. Sweet pleasure shot up his spine when the wet tip of her tongue crossed over his upper lip. A loud moan escaped his throat, giving his happiness sound. Living in Quortoth never allowed any somatic experiences like this and Connor suddenly felt so relieved, so grateful to be in this place called Earth. Erratic breathing grew heavy and lightness filled his head. Fire, he was sure it consumed him right now. And when did his collar get so tight?

"Ease up there, dear boy," Cordelia's silky tone glided into his ears. Playful fingertips tickled down his moving chest. "There's no rush."

"Cordelia," he breathed out. Searing heat clutched his insides, pure and molten. Is this what love felt like? Did it really make you so wild? Connor wanted her so much, but he wasn't sure what action to take. Incompetence numbed his cognitive process and his mind stumbled clumsy and slow. Thrill stabbed his heart and panting started to have dizzying effects. She easily detected his nervous streak as she chuckled and said to slow his breathing. Her mouth moved against his ear as she grinned. Connor tried to comply and nearly mastered oxygen intake when he suddenly gulped as her hand brushed over one of his hypersensitive nipples and rested on his chest. Blood screamed to his cheeks and everything below his waist stiffened. Did the body always betray their owner whenever flirty things like this happened? He couldn't grasp why having no control over the body would be an acceptable concept. Convinced his heart was going to tumble out of his chest and drop into the vulnerable open any second, Connor bit his lower lip. This body of his beat so fast and no amount of self-talk would calm it. His thoughts spun like a merry-go-round ride and he didn't know what to say, what to do.

The teasing woman's free hand stroked the back of his neck, triggering delicious shivers that wracked his core. His cheek touched hers. Mmm, she smelled so wonderful. Perfume, was it? Something flowery he thought absently. Some beautiful flower that had the opportunity to meet her skin so close. What flower could be so lucky? Connor sighed. He heard Cordelia's smile once again as she crooned into his ear, "You know you're going to hyperventilate if you don't slow that heart of yours down. Relax."

Amused, but feeling shaky, he blurted, "I can't help it. This romance thing is so new to me."

"Then I apologize, Connor. Let's go a little slower, hmm?" She moved to peer into his boyish face, a smoothing hand working through some of his frazzled bangs. The gesture pushed down his feral desire a tiny bit, but he knew it wouldn't hold out for long. She tugged his hand and they sat on the edge of the nearby bed. "Sitting is good to start."

"You'll be full of fun suggestions tonight, I see." Connor licked his lips nervously. Something fruity invaded his senses right then, but he couldn't tell where it came from.

"Well, you can lead now. Let you get comfortable with the kissies. Unless you don't want that. We can stop-"

"No!" he said a little too loud, then continued in a more quiet voice, "I want to do this. How often will I be able to kiss someone as enchanting as you?" Connor's face brightened when Cordelia's skin colored at the compliment. She replied, "Lovely. You've got the charming part perfect." About to add something else, she cut short as Connor's mouth wandered over hers, rapture driving it to explore. He couldn't get enough of her, this enticing emotion! Feeling more daring, he pushed her back on the mattress and leaned some of his weight on her chest as he hovered on his elbows. A kiss on her chin evoked a short laugh, but it melded into a gasp when his lips strayed down to her clavicle, gentle pecks guiding along the path. Heat rose from her chest as he kissed a deliberate line from one shoulder to the other. Cordelia sighed, her fingers tangled in his hair. Connor's own fingers had already found her skin just beneath the hem of her shirt and tapped very lightly on her waist. She burst out in laughter.

"Don't tell me you're ticklish," he teased.

"Maybe."

"Where is she most sensitive, I wonder?" Cordelia grabbed his hands as they went for her stomach. She chided, "No way. I won't be breathing if you go there."

"Fine. But only because I'm starting out. I'll practice my way to tickling perfection." Tongue probing between her lips in eager passion, he made an approving noise when a familiar candy taste flared up again. "What is that?" he managed to ask between kisses.

Cordelia's relaxed hands caressed his shoulders and upper arms as she mumbled, "Something called kissing?"

"No, it's something on your lips. Tastes like fruit."

"You like that? Maybe you're not a total junk food addict after all." Cordelia gave him a single, very long press of the lips which allowed him to taste the sweetness some more before she pushed at his chest, staring into his eyes. "Lip gloss. Pineapple. Took me ages to find."

"Pineapple," Connor repeated, then returned the favorable look. "I like it very much." His hands were very warm as he stroked her messy hair briefly, then turned over onto his side. Floating on air, that's what he felt right now. And all due to a couple kisses. This love stuff intrigued him. He heard her say, "Y'know, if I tested different fruit flavors on you maybe you'll eat more of those than vending machine Twinkies." Cordelia pinned him with a knowing look. He began to protest, but she added, "I've seen the wrappers lying around. No denials from you."

"And you can't deny you don't like them either. I've seen you snack on some." Connor's grin shone like a fluorescent light bulb; slow to click on, but brightest at its peak. He couldn't believe he felt this lightheaded after only some kisses and touches. Exhilarated too, exactly like the instant after a vampire kill, his blood coursing and toes tingling.

A pout crossed her lips. "You are such a liar. I never had any of those Twinkies."

"I lie? Ms. Chase, when have I ever done that to you? Isn't my lack of lying the reason why you chose to stay here instead of with my fath- Angel?" Connor caught himself before the word slipped. The beautiful emotion of love began cracking at the thought of his father. Annoyance. Resentment. Why these raging feelings all the time? Why around Cordelia?

"Connor?" Seated up already, her hand rested on his knee. It brought no orgasmic thrill this time. Comfort was the intention, not sex. The riveting moment was fleeing, he knew. His adrenaline was tapering off, draining out his excitement. He watched her, this stimulating woman who could elicit this ironic mix of delight and underlying negativity. It felt wrong. He wasn't supposed to have harsh feelings meant towards his father to be directed to her too. His name sounded again and he found Cordelia now studying him. "I'm fine," his mouth moved.

"Are you angry with Angel about something?"

His eyes roamed to a round table in the middle of the room. She had decorated it earlier with some piece of fabric and it seemed more interesting than the plain, original surface. She always made things interesting. He abruptly moved off the bed's edge and stood, dismissing her hand. Not meaning to. "It's nothing."

Letting out a small sigh, Cordelia's hands rested in her lap. Connor's head tilted at her sudden preoccupied expression. Trickling bitterness injected into his veins when he realized what she intended to do. "Cordelia?"

"I have to find out who I am. Angel...I think he can tell me what I need to know. He can help me sort some things out." She slowly rose and made her way to the door.

Fury, must remain inside. Connor blurted, "What about me? I can help you too."

She slowed for a moment, but didn't turn. "I'm sorry, Connor."

Love. He couldn't understand it at all.