by Suiren
I don't understand why everyone thinks he was so great. That man. They all say he was a wonderful person as a Rurouni, and an undefeatable one as a Battousai, but I just don't see it. He left my mother alone and unhappy. How could anyone do that to their wife? He was never here for me. Ever. And he still isn't.
So here I am leaning on the bridge watching the water. I need to head back soon -- it would really hurt my Mother's feelings if I wasn't there to see them bury the one everyone else holds in such high esteem. It's so frustrating. Maybe it's because I never got to know him that I don't understand him the way they all do. Yahiko is like his first son, not me. If he had really thought of me that way wouldn't he have stayed? Did he love me at all? Even just a little?
I look up at the sky which is just beginning to become tinted with hues of pink and gold, barely. I probably still have about thirty minutes before they start. I stare up at the wispy clouds in the sky.
"Did you love me at all?"
~*~Shinta's POV~*~
We're not at the dojo anymore, which is strange because I don't remember walking to the bridge and suddenly, here we are. I'm watching my son. I'm so proud of him -- I wish I could have told him that. I know I wasn't there for him, but he doesn't know about my atonement. I don't think anyone ever told him. He looks so much like me, but his eyes remind me of Kaoru...but also as myself when I was his age. He seems sad. Lonely. Angry. All of those things that I used to be. I move closer, along with that stupid annoying blur that follows me around constantly, and I hear him whisper as he stares up at the sky.
"Do you love me at all?"
I feel like he's talking to me, so I answer.
"Yes."
He whirls to face me, and runs into a girl walking down the bridge as he spins, his eyes darting everywhere. They pass directly over me. It's like I'm not even there. I hear him apologize for running into her -- at least Kaoru's taught him some manners even if he's ignoring his own father.
"He can't see you, Shinta."
"Don't you have better things to do with your time than annoy me?"
~*~Chizuru(the girl at the end of Seisouhen with Kenji)'s POV~*~
I was on my way home from market when this young man leaning on the rail of the bridge turned and ran directly into me. I guess I should have paid attention. Or maybe I startled him. I don't know exactly, but I stared wide-eyed at him as he looked up at me and apologized. His eyes -- they mirrored mine. Lonely. I put on a smile, and bow my head a little.
"I'm okay. My name is Raikouji Chizuru. Who are you?"
"Kenji Himura."
Himura. The name sounds familiar. I think I heard some people talking about it when I was at Akabeko earlier. It dawns on me rather suddenly -- elder Himura, Kenshin, died; leaving behind his wife Kaoru Himura and his son....his son, Kenji.
So that's why he's so sad. Well, at least we have something in common. Wait. Why do I care if we have something in common? I feel my face turning red so I tilt my head back down to the ground and wait for him to speak.
~*~Kenji's POV~*~
A thick silence settled between Chizuru and I after I said my name, and for some reason I'm both comfortable and uncomfortable at the same time. I find myself thinking she's pretty and quickly turn my gaze back to the water.
"Your father...is Himura Kenshin, ne?"
She finally broke the silence by asking, and I sighed as I turned my gaze back towards her.
"I don't have a father."
I said coldly, turning around to walk away. She started to trot after me.
"Kenji! Kenji! Matte!"
~*~Megumi's POV~*~
Kaoru's resting in a chair with Yahiko and Tsubame standing next to her. When Kenji gets back I think I'll let him know that he's breaking his mother's heart.
~*~Chizuru's POV~*~
He halted in his tracks and I walked up to him, placing a hand on his shoulder awkwardly.
"Want to talk about it?"
His head dipped a little bit and he bit his lip. Another long pause drifted between us before he slowly nodded. That is how I learned the story of Hitokiri Battousai as we walked back to the dojo. I don't understand the feelings of bitterness he holds towards his father -- it sounds like Himura Kenshin was a great and courageous man. But Kenji doesn't really seem to know him that well as a person. He knows all the facts, but he has none of the emotion to liven them with. No personal stories of his own.
"Kenji, what's one memory you have of just you and your father?"
He thought for a moment, and then began a small story.
"One time when he came back from a long trip he was doing laundry outside ((A/N: kekeke)) and I came out to watch him. Mother was teaching. He stopped, and he turned and looked at me, and he smiled at me. It wasn't a normal smile -- not like the ones he smilred around Sanosuke -- or even the ones when Okaasan and Yahiko argued. It was...different. It was like by looking at me he knew things were going to be okay...and...it was full of...well...some sadness.."
His voice cracked a little but gained strength as he continued.
"But...there was pride too...and happiness...and....it was warm...and loving.."
He stared at me, and I noticed his eyes were brimming over with tears. Reaching for his hand I gave it a small, reassuring squeeze. Then his head snapped up towards the sky.
"I don't know why I didn't think of it before.." he murmured. "I have to go! Arigatou, Chizuru-dono."
I smiled, and watched him run away.
We will meet again, Himura Kenji.
~*~Kaoru's POV~*~
He's not coming. My son. Isn't. Coming. To. His. Father's. Funeral.
I bow my head and feel a deep, aching pain in my chest -- the type that won't go away. It's been there since Shinta died, but this is worse. All of a sudden, he's there, my son running towards us all as fast as he can, and the pain fades a little. He looks so much like Shinta, only without the scar. I have high hopes for my son. All mothers do. I manage to smile for him as he arrives, and he gazes at me and apologizes several times. Megumi interrupts in a solemn voice.
"It's time."
I have to admit that my husband could not have been laid to rest in a more peaceful setting -- among the cherry trees with their drifting blossoms, as the sun sank beneath the ground. I just wish I could be with him, wherever he is.
~*~Shinta's POV~*~
I watch as most of my family and several friends lower a box into the ground. Kaoru is standing closest to the hole in the dirt beneath the trees, and nearest her is Kenji with the girl from the bridge. On the other side of her and back a little stand Yahiko, and Tsubame, and beyond them I can see Megumi and Tae, among others who make up this small little group. I can tell Kaoru is extremely sad so I move up behind her and place my hand on her shoulder, to reassure her. Her hand slides up to mine, but I feel nothing; and she quickly draws her hand away in a movement that almost resembles horror. Then she screams and begins to sob as she sinks to her knees in front of the open grave.
"Don't you want her pain to end?"
The figure in white asks.
"Who's funeral is this?"
"Yours."
"...oro..."
~*~Sanosuke's POV~*~
Shanghai. Finally, I'm here. All that stands between me and my friends is one boat ride. We'll all be together again -- Kenshin, Jou-chan, Yahiko, Kitsune. I'll even get to see Kenji. I'd never admit it, but I'll be damned glad to see them all.
~*~Shinta's POV, a few days later.~*~
She's in front of the grave again. My grave. My beautiful, ill Kaoru is here to pray and weep for me. I feel no pain, only hers and the anguish it causes me. I'd do anything to just wrap her in my arms and tell her everything's going to be okay, but as the blurry figure has already informed me, that's impossible.
Kaoru's started sobbing again, and I feel a tear trickle down my cheek. Funny, I didn't know ghosts had watery eyes.
"When does this end?" I ask as I stare down at my wife.
"Whenever you want to stop hurting her."
I close my eyes and take in a deep breath, then kneel next to Kaoru.
"I have to go now, Kaoru-dono. I'm sorry I left you. But please know one thing before I leave-- I'll always love you. No matter how far away we are."
She stops crying, and it seems like she heard me. Maybe that's just my imagination though. As I stand up I see a figure leaning against a nearby tree, watching her silently. Kenji. My son.
"I love you too, Kenji. And I'm proud of you. Always."
Then I turn back to the figure in white, and everything fades into warmth and light..
A/N: Next chapter we, and by we, I mean "I" reveal who the figure in white is! Yay! I hope I didn't mess things up with Chizuru -- I don't know much about her at all. Continue to read and review, I'll see you lovely people next chapter! Sorry for the slow updates but band's got me really busy right now. Later! ^_^
-- suiren