Part 10
The room was bathed in a deep, silvery darkness. Blinds had been left untouched, the skies pouring their hearts out and dumping all their worries onto the small Chicago suburb. A window was open, the curtain just another toy that the wind would play with unmercifully.
John awoke, his thoughts disorientated and his exact location unknown, until his sleep filled eyes descended on the form sleeping beside him. Her hair was carelessly tossed upon the pillow, her face snug deeply into the soft folds, the picture of innocence.
He took a moment to savour the sight, wishing at that moment that he had a camera to capture the moment. The small sigh that escaped her beautifully red lips reminded him of all that happened during the night. Flashes of scenes filled with hot passion and a longing for something more played back and forth behind his weary eyes and suddenly, he wasn't very tired anymore.
It wasn't usually his style to have a one night stand and then to just leave the other participant all alone without so much as an explanation, but there was no time for that. Slipping quietly from beneath the soft, cotton sheets, the intent not to awaken his sleeping beauty he slipped on his clothes and shoes. With one lingering look in her direction, the pain and wistfulness embedded into his gaze, he tore his tingling body from her room and through the open door of her apartment.
The hallway was dimly lit and strangely silent as he hurried towards the elevator. Quickly punching the button that would lead him to the lower floor, he peaked between the closing, metal doors for even a glimpse of the apartment where most of the night's activities had taken place, but it was too late. The elevator had already begun its slow decent.
~*~*~*~
"What are you doing here?" A voice behind him questioned menacingly, a hand reached out and dragged him forward, forcing him painfully to face his victim.
"It's none of your business," Carter answered rationally and calmly, reminding himself not to irritate the man further. Finally able to take a good look at the attacker, he felt a tug at his heart, as though they had met previously. The man's distinct Chinese features were hidden by the darkness of night and the light drizzling of rain that had never seemed to cease.
"Well, I make it a business to know all men my fiancé come into contact with," he said coldheartedly.
It then dawned on Carter that this was the man that had stolen Deb's heart, life and happiness. The man that she had promised to give up everything she had for. The man she would be forced to marry. John's silence was a sign of his surprisement, and how unprepared he was for such an answer. Remembering where he was and who he was talking to, he quickly came up with a question to know more about the man he was facing.
"What are you doing here, hiding in the dark like an animal?"
"Waiting," Louie answered calmly, a smirk forming on his face.
Carter patiently waited for him to elaborate, but Louie's next answer was made by words of any sought. His right hand lifted and pushing in the direction of his face, connected solidly with John's cheek bone. Stumbling backwards, Carter held onto a garbage bin for dear life, as Louie began to descend on him once more, the pain radiating through his brain as each blow was given.
"You... stinking... son of a bitch!! A committed woman too!. What the hell... were you planing... on doing to us?"
"I didn't do anything!" protested Carter weakly, taking every blow without so much as a peep back, "She doesn't love you!"
Louie stopped, his arm placed ready to pounce. He thought about what he had just peen told, but it was to no avail.
"How would you know?" he snarled evilly.
John, taking advantage of his small window of fortune, took some time to straighten himself and feel for any signs of broken bones. There was no harm, not even a bloody nose. Besides a few bruises, he was virtually untouched.
"How can you be so sure that she loves you?" threw back John, bracing himself for another blow. None came.
"She has to love me, she said so herself. I know Jing-Mei loves me, I know."
That said, he flew up the stair and retreated into the building leaving a very broken and hurt man behind. From his coat pocket, a rectangular business card decorated in plain black floated down lightly and landed in front of his feet, a message screaming from its off-white exterior. Picking up the card, John's eyes quickly flew over the perfectly printed letters before stuffing it into the deepest corner of his pocket, hoping to forget what he had just heard.
~*~*~*~
The soft knocking on the door gave way to a much denser banging. Feeling for the warm body that she remembered being beside her only hours before, Deb discovered instead a tangle of cold sheets and a flattened pillow the only proof that John had slept there. With a wistful sigh, Deb pulled herself away from the comforts of her bed and quickly tied a light, cotton robe around waist before making the short journey through her dark apartment.
"Which sales man in hell would be stupid enough to come knocking on my door at..." she peaked at the microwave muttering, rubbing away the sleepiness form her eyelids, "5:45?"
Reaching out to open the latch on her front door, Deb instantly stepped back as she saw who was standing at the other side.
Wordlessly she unlocked the metal door and held it open as he pushed past.
"Coffee?" she offered coldly out of politeness more than a genuine wanting to give.
Louie shook his head dismissively and invited himself to sit down on the comfy looking couch. Deb walked sluggishly towards the coffee maker and expertly set it going. Dragging out a mug from a draw above the busy machine, she finally turned to face him, arms crossed against her chest and her tired body leaning against an empty, white wall.
"What are you doing here, Louie?"
"Can't I visit my soon to be wife?" he replied stoically, his eyes virtually peeling her like a mandarin as she stood there.
Deb didn't answer. Instead she began to fill her cup with the rich, black liquid that she hoped would clear her clouded head.
"I saw him out there," he paused dramatically, shaking his head slightly as he glanced around her apartment. "He really thought he had a chance with you. Tried to talk me out of it he did... said you didn't love me. Is it true, Jing-Mei? Is that son of a bitch telling me God's honest truth?" Louie looked up the hurt in his eyes showing his true feelings on the matter.
"No, Louie. It wasn't the truth," she said looking down in her mug as she added a liberal amount of milk.
"Look at me." when Deb failed to do this he rose from his position on the sofa and once again demanded, "*Look* at me!"
This time Deb complied, her chocolate brown eyes reaching into his sole, feeding his dire need for reassurance. "I do love you, and we will get married tomorrow afternoon."
A small smile peaked at the corners of his lips. However it was short lived as the serious expression returned and a few worry lines appeared on the otherwise smooth forehead. "Who was he Jing-Mei? Who was he?"
"Just a friend." she replied lightly, wishing that he would drop the subject as quickly as he had brought it up.
"He didn't look like just a friend to me," he stated non-committedly. "But I still want to know who he is."
"His name is John and we work together. Dose that satisfy your question?"
"No. I want to know what he was doing here. If you two were doing a lot more than talking, I understand Jing-Mei, I do. I just need to-"
"We weren't doing anything Louie so you can get that thought right out of your head!" demanded Deb, putting her mug down furiously as she lied to both herself and him. "Now are you going to let me get a few more hours of sleep or not?"
Taking this as his que to leave, Louie nodded, keeping his eyes averted, gave Deb a quick peck on the cheek before walking out of the door with a strange expression on his face. Without the time or energy to decipher it properly, Deb once again resumed sipping her coffee as she sat down at the kitchen table.
There would be no more sleep for her that night.
~*~*~*~
"Jing-Mei?" Abby called out into the empty apartment. The curtains had been pulled back, the early morning light warming up the room with a light show of reds, oranges and bright yellows.
"Morning. Nice of you to show up," Deb mumbled softly.
Abby turned her gaze form the kitchen onto the couch to find Deb siting there in her night clothes, the coffee mug now replaced by a glass of wine and an empty look was on her face. "You're not drunk are you?"
"I'm not drunk, Abby. Where did you go to last night?"
Thoughts of last nights activities flashed through her minds eye and a soft blush took over her pale appearance. "I was, ah, over at Dave's- or John's apartment, actually."
"Have fun?" Deb asked dryly.
"Yeah..."
"Glad one of us was having a good time."
"What are you saying?" demanded Abby, "What happened here, Jing-Mei?" when no answer was forth coming, she demanded once again, "Don't you have a wedding to go to?"
Deb winced.
"Come on! Up, up! I want to see your ass out of here and where it's meant to be in the next few minuets- you got me?"
The corners of her mouth twisted into a happy, though pensive smile and with her right hand sarcastically saluted, "Yes Sargent Lockheart, sir," before quickly disappearing into the confines of her small but tidy bathroom.
~*~*~*~
"Carter!" when the young man didn't respond, he yelled once more, waving the daily paper which he had just retrieved from the letter box frantically in an attempt to get John's attention, "*Carter!!*"
He turned, looked up at the man who had called out his name and an expression that yelled confusion screamed out from his features.
"Carter are you okay? What are you doing in the neighbourhood?" Mark asked, the curiosity getting the better of him.
John shrugged his shoulders and changed the subject, "Anything good in the paper?"
"I haven't read it yet," Mark answered with a smile. "Why don't you come inside, Elizabeth and Ella are still asleep but I'd really enjoy the company."
With a small nod, Carter followed his mentor into the house, closing the gate on his way in.
"Some place you've got here," commented Carter as his eyes swept around the rooms.
The room was warm, though not overly so. A plush rug was in the centre, a comfy looking couch just behind it. The focus of the room was the fireplace, where a couple of logs were glowing with fire as the flames licked upwards, providing warmth and comfort to the entire first floor.
"I like to think so. It took me a couple of weeks of secret house-hunting before I found it," said Mark proudly as gestured towards the couch for Carter to sit down while he grabbed two mugs of coffee from the kitchen, "Wasn't easy to lie."
"I'll bet," he replied gazing out through the window and up into space.
"So Carter," Mark handed Carter a blue mug and sat down himself with a green one. "What's on your mind?"
"Nothing."
"Okay." Mark took a sip and glanced over at Carter to gauge a reaction.
"You're not even going to ask?" asked Carter, greatly surprised that Mark hadn't squeeze it out of him like everyone else was trying to do and had not succeeded.
"Well. I figured that you couldn't keep your little secret forever and I don't think you would have come inside here for nothing," he answered logically.
"It's big."
"I can guess. Deb's involved too?" Mark said, already knowing the answer.
"Yep." Carter chugging a gulp of as much caffeine that he could swallow, "She's getting married."
"To you?"
"I wish."
~*~*~*~
"Jing-Mei!"
"Yes Mummy?"
"Are you paying attention?"
"I am, I'm just thinking."
"You think too much," Mrs Chen answered with a smile. "You should be happy, smiling- it's *your* wedding day!"
The room was huge, a queen sized bed and a large built in wardrobe were the main focus of the room. On the bed was Deb. A long white dress, sleeveless with thin straps, decorated with hand beaded flowers. Behind her sat her mother, brush, fresh flowers and hairspray in hand ready to attack her hair and somehow make it look fabulous.
"Such beautiful hair," her mother said, shaking her head painfully, "Thank God you haven't cut it for while."
A while was more like a year. It had grown out of shoulder length and had grown wildly, almost down to her elbows.
Deb sighed and started playing with her fingers. Louie had wanted to write down personal vows but that was something she couldn't do and put up all the arguments she could think of to insure that it didn't happen. To Louie she could lie, easily but to a whole room filled with three thousand or so relatives and soon to be in-laws was near impossible.
Especially since she had secretly decided to divorce exactly one year after they had been married. It was the only way she could free herself. Perhaps John would have forgiven her by then. She could sneak off at night, send over the divorce papers in the mail then move over to the other side of Chicago or.not.
This was not a game. She reminded herself, even if it felt like one. No. This was nothing to play around with and with those as her last thoughts Deb surrendered herself to her mother's careful hands and the soft sweeping of the brush against her hair.
~*~*~*~
"That's one hell of a secret you got there Carter," Mark said slowly, savouring the words that he had just heard, running though the catalogues of information stored up in his brain for a good answer. He couldn't find one.
"Yeah, well, its not exactly something I want to shout from the roof tops," he whispered sadly.
"I don't know what to say,"
"I don't blame you," Carter replied, glancing at the clock that stood proudly on the mantle piece.
It was then that Ella had decided to wake up the world, her cries winding their way down to the second floor. John stood up and handed Mark his now empty mug.
"I really should be going," he said, stretching lightly.
"You sure you don't want to stay for breakfast? Elizabeth wouldn't mind at all."
Carter nodded he head slightly, walking towards the front door. "I think I should get going. Thanks for the coffee though, it was great to have someone to talk to."
"Anytime Carter, anytime," Mark called out, watching as the younger man walked out through the gate and into the street, his left hand bidding farewell as he left behind the neighbourhood from which he once fled.
"Mark?" asked Elizabeth as she looked up sleepily from the infant sucking at his breakfast. "Who were you taking to?"
Mark walked over and kneeled beside the rocking chair on which she sat, gazing down at Ella. He reached over and stroked her thin red curls gently, the smile that every father has stretching across his face. "Oh, you know, Carter."
"What was he doing here at this time of the morning?" Elizabeth asked worriedly.
"He had some pretty big things on his mind, walked past our place almost without knowing where he was,"
"Are you going to tell me what's so big or was it 'Guy Stuff'?"
"Sorry Elizabeth," he answered simply, leaning forward for a good morning kiss.
~*~*~*~
"All set?"
"All set." Deb confirmed confidently, feeling as though she was trying to convince herself instead of her mother's conscience, "I'm going to miss this."
Her mother turned round, eyebrows raised hands still working on perfecting the flower arrangement in the hall as they waited for the limmo. "Miss what?"
"I don't know." Deb sighed, "Being single, living alone. You know, this is like a huge decision. Sometimes I feel like. doesn't matter," she said distractedly.
"Well, I'm glad you see your sense of responsibility to the family. You have you father very happy these past few weeks, and my how did your Aunt Lee glow when she heard her only niece was getting married!" her mother practically squealed, "Oh look! Its actually on time," The Limmo had arrived, leaving Deb to wait in the hall alone as her mother hurried out into the misty raindrops.
"I feel like I've just sold me soul to the devil."
~*~*~*~
"Where is Joey?" Louie yelled, his longish hair flying everywhere as he walked around the reception area.
"We are looking for him sir-"
"Why aren't the flowers out yet? The tables are too plain!"
"We're working on it, Sir you sure you." pleaded the tiny man who was probably twice his height in width. Deciding that him asking the questions would not be what his customer wanted he clamped him mouth shut.
"What?!" Louie burst out stopping suddenly in front of the band that was turning up on the stage, causing an almost domino effect. Louie extracted himself from two short arms and settled the man back onto his feet. Almost kindly he asked again, "What is it you want, Pedro?"
"Shouldn't you. ahhh." his short term memory managing to appear again and he scratched his head, honestly forgetting what he meant to say.
Louie shook his head. 'At least I know he can throw party worth the money spent when the time comes,' he reminded himself for the tenth time that morning.
"Where the *hell* is Joey!?!" Louie bellowed again.
~*~*~*~
Deb sat in the limozine, her mother by her side looking out through the tinted windows. House after house, tree after tree rushed past, barely distinguished from the next. It was almost hypnotizing and after a few minuets of staring at the mess of greens, browns and pastel colours, mainly belonging to the houses Deb began to feel relaxed, almost sleepy despite the growing twist in her stomach that reminded her of what was to come within the next few hours.
"Mommy."
"Yes dear."
"I just want to know that, no matter how things turn out today or- or even in the future." she paused. Her mothered looked up at her expectantly, waiting patiently for what her daughter was about to say next.
"That I will always love you and papa," she said her voice low as though she expected someone else to be listening in on the conversation.
"I know," her mother answered with a smile. Mrs Chen placed her slightly wrinkled hands upon Deb's smooth ones, a gesture of affection and understanding. "I know."
They reached the church within minuets. People were still entering, lavish outfits and wild, dressy hats for the ladies and a prim, handsome tux for those who were male. The ring bearers, one for each gold band chased the flower girls who in turn were chased and then scolded by the bridesmaid. There was to be no maid of honour, as Deb had announced that she didn't want to 'hurt any feelings' and that 'each and every one of them were her best friends.'
"Yeah, right," Deb whispered to herself, thinking about the day she had announced it to be so. In fact, she barely knew anyone she could consider to be a maid of honour and those who she could choose, well, her family wouldn't deem them appropriate. Sigh. 'It's a tough and hardy job to keep up with a family like mine,' she thought privately to herself as the car came to a halt directly in front of the church. 'I hope that someday it will all be worth it.'
~*~*~*~
The apartment was silent, dark. Blinds were pulled down neatly, warding away the morning sun. Plates stacked in the sink, washed and ready for use. The bathroom door closed and John didn't bother trying to open it. Dave's door was closed, a pile of clothes heaped in front of it. Women's as well as men's clothing, Carter choose to notice. The television was on, black and white dots dancing on the screen, showing that there was no reception at this station and that they were free to come out and play.
He turned the television set off and placed the remote controls where they should be, on the coffee table. Then he just stood there, for a minuet or too not quite knowing what to do next.
The apartment was tidy, nothing to do there. He supposed that he could go in to the E.R and blow off his day off or, option number two.
There was no option number two. Deb, seemingly he knew, could not be in the picture. John knew that today would be the last day that she would be a free woman. Free to date and do as she pleased. After today she would be taken, not his and no one else's except for the son of a bitch. John seethed.
There was nothing he could do about it. Not if it was as she had wished, what she wanted and what she had chosen. It was her life and her decision if she wanted to go ahead and fuck it up.
At hearing the turn of a door nob, Carter turned to see Dave poke his head out, hair in bad need of a brush and eyes heavy with more than just sleep.
"Oh hey Carter man,"
"Morning!" Carter chirped sarcastically. Dave looked him over, taking in his rumpled clothes, the bags under his eyes and the blackish bruise that was beginning to appear of his cheek.
"It's not like what it seems- I."
"And just what is it meant to seem like Dave?"
"Uh-"
"I rest my case. You can go back to sleep Dave, I'm not about to ruin your day too."
Dave's eyebrows furrowed for a moment as he thought about what could possibly go wrong before a day even began. Before he could go to the trouble of trying to remember everything that Carter had told him the day before, Carter beat him to it.
"Deb, you know, tying the knot.?"
"Oh... *oh*!" Dave said, the realization dawning on his stubble filled face that didn't look much better than the one he was talking to, "I'm really sorry man-"
John waved him off, walking towards the kitchen and away from Dave's door. "It's not your fault. You just go on and have a good time with. whoever it is."
Dave reached forward before Carter could get any further. Giving him a friendly slap on the arm with a 'I knew I could count on you smile', "Thanks man. I owe you!" With that, he popped back into his bedroom and it wasn't until two minuets later that Carter distinctly heard a familiar female voice ask,
"Dave, who was that?!"
~*~*~*~
The ancient building towered over her, it's menacing towers piercing the clouds that hung low from the sky, so dark that it looked like was about to burst at any given moment. She was ushered quickly into hat looked like the priests preparation room, without the priest in it. Her mother led her to the chair in the corner and sat beside her on the short coffee table. Deb tried to look out through the doors at what was happening outside. She could hear voices, talking in various languages of Asian culture mixed in with a few garbs of English.
"Sit still!" her mother commanded, placing a hand firmly onto her shoulder, "I would think that it was your first time in a church the way you keep fidgeting and looking about. You must stay calm, relaxed, this is your special day. You're not to lift a finger."
"Easy for you to say," Deb muttered under her breath. She was itching to rub away the sleep on her eyes, but knew it would just ruin her make-up and agitate the older woman beside her.
Mrs Chen ignored her daughter's comment and kept her mouth shut.
They waited.
Deb was becoming even more nervous after each second that passed. She went quickly over vows, knowing that she didn't really need to with a memory like hers that it would never be forgotten. Her hands were folded neatly in her lap in an effort to stop them from doing things that would only cause trouble.
"Jing-Mei?"
Deb looked up, surprised at the gentleness and motherly feeling that was etched into her mother's voice. Suddenly she remembered a time where her mother would read to her picture books filled with the most wonderful pictures. Her mother's voice changing its tones and rhythm according to the words in front of her.
"Jing-Mei!"
"Yes Mummy?"
"Are you even paying attention?"
"Ahhh."
Mrs Chen nodded her head knowingly, the smile on her face showing that she thought she knew it all and with a tired but contented sigh she turned to stare out of the window at the trees passing by, the smile not leaving her face for a second but growing more pensive at each passing second.
"Calling the bride! Come here Darling and kiss your papa on the cheek!" a handsome Asian man, the lines on his face that not only seemed to prove age but also enhance his good looks stepped out from the doorway. Deb immediately rose to greet him and a lone tear fell from her cheek and it took more than a little effort to halt the others that were ready to hence forth and ruin her make-up. "Ay! Must not have tears on such a happy day- mustn't we?" a hanky was quickly found, tear blotted and the careful cosmetic work saved.
It was then, before any more conversation could begin, that the priest knocked lightly on the door before opening it a little and coming into the room.
'This is it.' thought Deb to herself,
"Well now! Are we ready to get married?"
~*~*~*~
A pen, a piece of gum rapping and a penny dawned one pocket. Bits of lint flew out as he checked for another perhaps forgotten penny. Nope there was none. Reaching down into his right pocket out came a dollar, "At least that's something useful," a broken pencil, a sandwich wrapper which he looked at in disgust before throwing into the bin nearby and a card. Simple, white cardboard in a rectangular shape one side printed on in black- a business card! Looking closer, the feeling that his curiosity was getting the better of him, John read the words carefully:
Father John Byers Our Lady of the Rosary catholic church Church street, Chicago. Illinois Christenings - Marriages - Funerals - Last Rites
It took more than a minuet to sink in the importance of the information- and what could be done with it. Assuming that it was Father John Byers that would be performing the wedding ceremony, the things he could do to perhaps postpone the.
No. He couldn't dream of doing that to Deb.
"Can't stand here debating the idea forever though, times a wasting!" Carter turned, almost crashing into his roomy.
"Dave, what the-"
"Dude! That's the church, right?" at Caters affirmative he went on, "What the hell are you waiting for- get your ass down there buddy. It ain't matter weather you intend on busting the joint; for as long as you know that she truly wanted to marry Louie you'll be fine."
Carter, seemingly needing another male counterpart to voice his fears nodded viscously in agreement and, without a word grabbed his coat before racing out the door.
"Atta boy!"
"Dave!- Is it safe now?" a whisper came out from the bedroom door way.
"Yeah. He went off after his love. shoulda seen the look on his face so serious he could have convinced the chief anything."
"Don't talk about your boss like that!"
"She's not here to hear me."
Suddenly the phone rang, once, before the answering machine picked up, "Dave?" came out the familiar nasal voice in its usual barking form, "Your going to be late for work so you better get your chops down here on the double!"
Abby and Dave stared at the machine, their movements halted as the realization of who it was that was talking seeped in.
"What the-?"
~*~*~*~
The cab stopped in front of the church, the tires screeching in protest at the slipperiness of the roads and the speed it which it was travelling in. Carter leapt out from within the car as though he couldn't get away fast enough, throwing a wad of bills at the driver who had certainly found his lucky day.
On the way to the church, John had been pondering over what exactly he was going to say once he got there- or even what the hell he was going to do there. Running into the church speechless, head turning as though he was a wild animal wasn't exactly what he had in mind and within minuets could have him hauled out of there like some bum on the street seeking shelter from the rain.
Looking round wildly, eyes lashing every bit like the desperate man he was, Carter took a step forward than another towards the side of the church which was sheltered and held a well-kept pathway empty of weeds and filled with luscious green bushes.
It was then he reached the side entrance to the church. The altar and the priest in front of it still hidden from view but the bride and groom for all to see. Luckily, Deb was on his side of the church and he watched for several minuets as she listened attentively to what the Father was saying. Louie looked down at their entwined fingers before seeking Debs eyes and smiling his cheese grin. From the arrogant look of 'hey! She's all *mine*' that was seeming to spread as thick as the butter on his toast that morning; Carter could tell that Deb had smiled back.
Tears of her mother could be seen, an accompanying sob of happiness mingled with a touch of loss escaping every now and then. Beautiful pink and white blossoms decorated the church, a pale cream ribbon entwined around them and most of the church. Although it was a wet and murky afternoon, what little light there was seeped in through the windows making it look more like an evening service rather than the early morning one it was. Candles were used to add extra light and the warmth they gave from within their glow made what was already a stunning church even more special. Pews were filled with relatives, a nannies whisper could be heard every now and then from the back of the church as they comforted or scolded an unruly child.
John took a step forward, not advancing very much further into the church, but closer towards the beautiful porcelain holy water dish, the face of the Virgin Mary looked down upon him and out of habit dipped the tips of his right hand into the water and made the sign of the cross.
Deb sighed. She knew Louie loved her, perhaps a little *too* much. She wondered if she could live with feeling suffocated for the rest of her life. about the vows she was about to make. relatives watching; her mother and father and feeling dizzy, Deb looked towards where she knew a fresh rain-scented breeze would be coming from.
The side doors.
It had almost been a surprise, but after a few moments the initial shock had worn off and all that was left was guilt. Guilt that she was betraying the man beside her, the people behind her and in a sense the man that hid in the shadows, his gaze peeking from underneath the overhang arrangement of flowers and ribbons.
"Ahem." The priest kindly cleared his throat to make sure that he had the participants in this marriage ceremony attentive and listening- facing forward which was one this the bride seemed to forget about.
Deb quickly realized where she was and turning towards the Father who was, at that moment about to start what was for many, the most important part of a wedding that life was short. That tomorrow, anything could happen.
Hell maybe she'd step off the curb and get hit by a bus filled with Jamaican singers and die because of extensive internal damage.
What if she's chained to Louie by a few children whom she only had to please her husband and give some purpose to her miserable existence?
Maybe she'd finally fall in love with him, but every now and then remember what could have happened if she had just gotten up the guts to.
By the time Deb glanced back at the overhang, John had left the church grounds.
~*~*~*~
It was foolish, turning up at the church like that. Deb had not given him more than a cursory glance- bit surprised but if she was more than, she didn't show it. Walking briskly through the light mist of rain, John turned a corner and feeling too tired to go any further, the loss and the acceptance of it all was like a load of lead on his shoulders. A burden to carry.
Perhaps for a long time unless he found someone to fill the void, sigh.
Sometimes he just wished he was nobody as there would be nothing to care about and no one to care for him.
~*~*~*~
Once again the priest looked down at Deb, brows furrowed as he 'Ahemed!' a second time to gain her attention, although it seemed sparse.
"Do you, Jing-Mei Deborah Chen take thee, Hon Loi Han to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
Silence reigned the church and nothing seemed louder and the minute stretched onwards. People began to lean forward afraid that they would miss something, a whisper perhaps. Louie squeezed her hand in comfort, a gentile smile which seemed to come out all wrong on his oval-shaped face.
The courage welled up inside her and the shame of lying to herself and others made her angry. Not at her parents, or Louie or John for that matter. But angry at herself for letting all of this happen without truly consenting with herself. Her soul.
"No." she whispered, her voice barely recognisable as a soft sob escaped and then a giggle of laughter.
The crowd seemed to lean forward like a wave, each and every ear straining to hear what the bride had to say.
"Beg your pardon?" asked the Father gently. It seemed as though he too was leaning towards her, hanging onto her every word.
"I."
Louie seemed to squeeze harder which only seemed to serve the purpose of reminding her how overprotective and possessive of her he could be sometimes.
"I got to go somewhere," was her final answer as she wrenched her arm from her supposed-to-be-husband-in-another-5 minuets and dashed out through the side door.
No one knew where she was going and those interested in the crowd all jumped up and, walking as calmly and with as much dignity as they could in their fancy heels watched as they saw a white dress and veil bob into the distance.
"What the hell is going on here?!" yelled Louie.
*** "I -knew- I wore these tennis shoes for a reason other than to be comfortable!" Deb whispered happily as she rushed passed the church grounds and taking a wild guess before venturing off to the right.
"John- Wait up!"
****
He turned round, shaking his head in disbelief at how far his mind would go, far enough to make him think that someone with a voice that sounded exactly like the person he was most trying to forget yet not succeeding in the least was calling his name. Though he turned anyway, just to be sure as no one could every really be sure as to.
"Deb.?"
John stood there shell shocked, eye brows eschewed in a troubled stance as he tried his hardest to contemplate what seemed to be Deb, over dressed in an admittedly beautiful wedding dress running towards him as fast as she could in. tennis shoes?
"What are you- I mean, don't you- do," he took a deep breath, looked towards his shoes for confidence before starting again, "Don't you have somewhere to be?"
"Not anymore," she whispered back breathlessly, "Do you mind if we sit down? This dress is a bitch to be in."
John nodded quickly and helped her over towards a bench seamlessly hidden by an over hang of climbing plants. The rain had slowed to a drizzle, the fairy lights in the garden of the church were on making the place look even more magical than one could ever think possible.
"I don't know John,"
He waited patiently for her to continue,
"I just guess that, well, Louie isn't the one for me, you know? Standing up at that altar and being faced to live a lie even for my family just wasn't right and, and."
"Shhh slow down!" he whispered soothingly. Digging into his pockets he trumped up a rumpled but clean looking hanky, "I guess you know now why I gave up surgery,"
Deb took to offering, and began to laugh before she even had the chance to explain herself fully, "Oh John, sometimes I just don't know what to do without you."
O'HARE AIRPORT
CHICAGO IL
OUTSIDE AMERICAN AIRLINES TERMINAL
"Deb? Are you ready yet, the plane is about to leave in ten minutes and if we want to be on it."
"Yeah, just hold on a second."
This is the last boarding call for American airlines flight 788 to Hawaii, This is the last boarding call for American airlines flight 788 to Hawaii would all passengers arrive at gate 10 immediately, thankyou.
She glanced around quickly, wondering if somehow miraculously her family had managed to follow her and John down to the airport. It was a spur of the moment of the decision and before she knew it, they were up at the desk at American Airlines asking if there would be by any chance two seats on a plane that would be leaving for Hawaii in the next hour or so. They had been lucky; an elderly couple had pulled out at the last minute giving them both a seat in first class, side by side.
Deb sighed down at the average sized white envelope in her hand. It had a stamp placed neatly into the corner and an address written down in careful handwriting.
"I just need to post this,"
And with that she placed the letter in the red letter box in front of her and listened to the soft papery sound it made as it hit the pile of other letters that relatives and friends had sent back to loved ones back home, some perhaps even similar to the one she had just written.
"Deb,"
"Yeah," she smiled up at him and took his outstretched hand only to be pulled hurriedly to the gate.
"I swear if we miss this flight."
"You'll love me anyway,"
"Yeah, I will,"
He smiled back at her allowing them both to have a quite moment to reinstate their till now silent vows before pulling her into the plane the both of them giggling and kissing, each one thinking how lucky they were to have the other here with them and not married off or drowning in sadness and loss.
***
"Mrs Chen?"
"What is it Hannah?"
"A letter has arrived for you."
The End
***I really need to thank Kerry, Lisa and Ash Carroll for all the help you've given me. and all the feedback I've ever gotten (and anyone else who I've failed to mention) Without you guys, I wouldn't be as proud of this fic as I am today. jeeze it took me long enough to finish!
The room was bathed in a deep, silvery darkness. Blinds had been left untouched, the skies pouring their hearts out and dumping all their worries onto the small Chicago suburb. A window was open, the curtain just another toy that the wind would play with unmercifully.
John awoke, his thoughts disorientated and his exact location unknown, until his sleep filled eyes descended on the form sleeping beside him. Her hair was carelessly tossed upon the pillow, her face snug deeply into the soft folds, the picture of innocence.
He took a moment to savour the sight, wishing at that moment that he had a camera to capture the moment. The small sigh that escaped her beautifully red lips reminded him of all that happened during the night. Flashes of scenes filled with hot passion and a longing for something more played back and forth behind his weary eyes and suddenly, he wasn't very tired anymore.
It wasn't usually his style to have a one night stand and then to just leave the other participant all alone without so much as an explanation, but there was no time for that. Slipping quietly from beneath the soft, cotton sheets, the intent not to awaken his sleeping beauty he slipped on his clothes and shoes. With one lingering look in her direction, the pain and wistfulness embedded into his gaze, he tore his tingling body from her room and through the open door of her apartment.
The hallway was dimly lit and strangely silent as he hurried towards the elevator. Quickly punching the button that would lead him to the lower floor, he peaked between the closing, metal doors for even a glimpse of the apartment where most of the night's activities had taken place, but it was too late. The elevator had already begun its slow decent.
~*~*~*~
"What are you doing here?" A voice behind him questioned menacingly, a hand reached out and dragged him forward, forcing him painfully to face his victim.
"It's none of your business," Carter answered rationally and calmly, reminding himself not to irritate the man further. Finally able to take a good look at the attacker, he felt a tug at his heart, as though they had met previously. The man's distinct Chinese features were hidden by the darkness of night and the light drizzling of rain that had never seemed to cease.
"Well, I make it a business to know all men my fiancé come into contact with," he said coldheartedly.
It then dawned on Carter that this was the man that had stolen Deb's heart, life and happiness. The man that she had promised to give up everything she had for. The man she would be forced to marry. John's silence was a sign of his surprisement, and how unprepared he was for such an answer. Remembering where he was and who he was talking to, he quickly came up with a question to know more about the man he was facing.
"What are you doing here, hiding in the dark like an animal?"
"Waiting," Louie answered calmly, a smirk forming on his face.
Carter patiently waited for him to elaborate, but Louie's next answer was made by words of any sought. His right hand lifted and pushing in the direction of his face, connected solidly with John's cheek bone. Stumbling backwards, Carter held onto a garbage bin for dear life, as Louie began to descend on him once more, the pain radiating through his brain as each blow was given.
"You... stinking... son of a bitch!! A committed woman too!. What the hell... were you planing... on doing to us?"
"I didn't do anything!" protested Carter weakly, taking every blow without so much as a peep back, "She doesn't love you!"
Louie stopped, his arm placed ready to pounce. He thought about what he had just peen told, but it was to no avail.
"How would you know?" he snarled evilly.
John, taking advantage of his small window of fortune, took some time to straighten himself and feel for any signs of broken bones. There was no harm, not even a bloody nose. Besides a few bruises, he was virtually untouched.
"How can you be so sure that she loves you?" threw back John, bracing himself for another blow. None came.
"She has to love me, she said so herself. I know Jing-Mei loves me, I know."
That said, he flew up the stair and retreated into the building leaving a very broken and hurt man behind. From his coat pocket, a rectangular business card decorated in plain black floated down lightly and landed in front of his feet, a message screaming from its off-white exterior. Picking up the card, John's eyes quickly flew over the perfectly printed letters before stuffing it into the deepest corner of his pocket, hoping to forget what he had just heard.
~*~*~*~
The soft knocking on the door gave way to a much denser banging. Feeling for the warm body that she remembered being beside her only hours before, Deb discovered instead a tangle of cold sheets and a flattened pillow the only proof that John had slept there. With a wistful sigh, Deb pulled herself away from the comforts of her bed and quickly tied a light, cotton robe around waist before making the short journey through her dark apartment.
"Which sales man in hell would be stupid enough to come knocking on my door at..." she peaked at the microwave muttering, rubbing away the sleepiness form her eyelids, "5:45?"
Reaching out to open the latch on her front door, Deb instantly stepped back as she saw who was standing at the other side.
Wordlessly she unlocked the metal door and held it open as he pushed past.
"Coffee?" she offered coldly out of politeness more than a genuine wanting to give.
Louie shook his head dismissively and invited himself to sit down on the comfy looking couch. Deb walked sluggishly towards the coffee maker and expertly set it going. Dragging out a mug from a draw above the busy machine, she finally turned to face him, arms crossed against her chest and her tired body leaning against an empty, white wall.
"What are you doing here, Louie?"
"Can't I visit my soon to be wife?" he replied stoically, his eyes virtually peeling her like a mandarin as she stood there.
Deb didn't answer. Instead she began to fill her cup with the rich, black liquid that she hoped would clear her clouded head.
"I saw him out there," he paused dramatically, shaking his head slightly as he glanced around her apartment. "He really thought he had a chance with you. Tried to talk me out of it he did... said you didn't love me. Is it true, Jing-Mei? Is that son of a bitch telling me God's honest truth?" Louie looked up the hurt in his eyes showing his true feelings on the matter.
"No, Louie. It wasn't the truth," she said looking down in her mug as she added a liberal amount of milk.
"Look at me." when Deb failed to do this he rose from his position on the sofa and once again demanded, "*Look* at me!"
This time Deb complied, her chocolate brown eyes reaching into his sole, feeding his dire need for reassurance. "I do love you, and we will get married tomorrow afternoon."
A small smile peaked at the corners of his lips. However it was short lived as the serious expression returned and a few worry lines appeared on the otherwise smooth forehead. "Who was he Jing-Mei? Who was he?"
"Just a friend." she replied lightly, wishing that he would drop the subject as quickly as he had brought it up.
"He didn't look like just a friend to me," he stated non-committedly. "But I still want to know who he is."
"His name is John and we work together. Dose that satisfy your question?"
"No. I want to know what he was doing here. If you two were doing a lot more than talking, I understand Jing-Mei, I do. I just need to-"
"We weren't doing anything Louie so you can get that thought right out of your head!" demanded Deb, putting her mug down furiously as she lied to both herself and him. "Now are you going to let me get a few more hours of sleep or not?"
Taking this as his que to leave, Louie nodded, keeping his eyes averted, gave Deb a quick peck on the cheek before walking out of the door with a strange expression on his face. Without the time or energy to decipher it properly, Deb once again resumed sipping her coffee as she sat down at the kitchen table.
There would be no more sleep for her that night.
~*~*~*~
"Jing-Mei?" Abby called out into the empty apartment. The curtains had been pulled back, the early morning light warming up the room with a light show of reds, oranges and bright yellows.
"Morning. Nice of you to show up," Deb mumbled softly.
Abby turned her gaze form the kitchen onto the couch to find Deb siting there in her night clothes, the coffee mug now replaced by a glass of wine and an empty look was on her face. "You're not drunk are you?"
"I'm not drunk, Abby. Where did you go to last night?"
Thoughts of last nights activities flashed through her minds eye and a soft blush took over her pale appearance. "I was, ah, over at Dave's- or John's apartment, actually."
"Have fun?" Deb asked dryly.
"Yeah..."
"Glad one of us was having a good time."
"What are you saying?" demanded Abby, "What happened here, Jing-Mei?" when no answer was forth coming, she demanded once again, "Don't you have a wedding to go to?"
Deb winced.
"Come on! Up, up! I want to see your ass out of here and where it's meant to be in the next few minuets- you got me?"
The corners of her mouth twisted into a happy, though pensive smile and with her right hand sarcastically saluted, "Yes Sargent Lockheart, sir," before quickly disappearing into the confines of her small but tidy bathroom.
~*~*~*~
"Carter!" when the young man didn't respond, he yelled once more, waving the daily paper which he had just retrieved from the letter box frantically in an attempt to get John's attention, "*Carter!!*"
He turned, looked up at the man who had called out his name and an expression that yelled confusion screamed out from his features.
"Carter are you okay? What are you doing in the neighbourhood?" Mark asked, the curiosity getting the better of him.
John shrugged his shoulders and changed the subject, "Anything good in the paper?"
"I haven't read it yet," Mark answered with a smile. "Why don't you come inside, Elizabeth and Ella are still asleep but I'd really enjoy the company."
With a small nod, Carter followed his mentor into the house, closing the gate on his way in.
"Some place you've got here," commented Carter as his eyes swept around the rooms.
The room was warm, though not overly so. A plush rug was in the centre, a comfy looking couch just behind it. The focus of the room was the fireplace, where a couple of logs were glowing with fire as the flames licked upwards, providing warmth and comfort to the entire first floor.
"I like to think so. It took me a couple of weeks of secret house-hunting before I found it," said Mark proudly as gestured towards the couch for Carter to sit down while he grabbed two mugs of coffee from the kitchen, "Wasn't easy to lie."
"I'll bet," he replied gazing out through the window and up into space.
"So Carter," Mark handed Carter a blue mug and sat down himself with a green one. "What's on your mind?"
"Nothing."
"Okay." Mark took a sip and glanced over at Carter to gauge a reaction.
"You're not even going to ask?" asked Carter, greatly surprised that Mark hadn't squeeze it out of him like everyone else was trying to do and had not succeeded.
"Well. I figured that you couldn't keep your little secret forever and I don't think you would have come inside here for nothing," he answered logically.
"It's big."
"I can guess. Deb's involved too?" Mark said, already knowing the answer.
"Yep." Carter chugging a gulp of as much caffeine that he could swallow, "She's getting married."
"To you?"
"I wish."
~*~*~*~
"Jing-Mei!"
"Yes Mummy?"
"Are you paying attention?"
"I am, I'm just thinking."
"You think too much," Mrs Chen answered with a smile. "You should be happy, smiling- it's *your* wedding day!"
The room was huge, a queen sized bed and a large built in wardrobe were the main focus of the room. On the bed was Deb. A long white dress, sleeveless with thin straps, decorated with hand beaded flowers. Behind her sat her mother, brush, fresh flowers and hairspray in hand ready to attack her hair and somehow make it look fabulous.
"Such beautiful hair," her mother said, shaking her head painfully, "Thank God you haven't cut it for while."
A while was more like a year. It had grown out of shoulder length and had grown wildly, almost down to her elbows.
Deb sighed and started playing with her fingers. Louie had wanted to write down personal vows but that was something she couldn't do and put up all the arguments she could think of to insure that it didn't happen. To Louie she could lie, easily but to a whole room filled with three thousand or so relatives and soon to be in-laws was near impossible.
Especially since she had secretly decided to divorce exactly one year after they had been married. It was the only way she could free herself. Perhaps John would have forgiven her by then. She could sneak off at night, send over the divorce papers in the mail then move over to the other side of Chicago or.not.
This was not a game. She reminded herself, even if it felt like one. No. This was nothing to play around with and with those as her last thoughts Deb surrendered herself to her mother's careful hands and the soft sweeping of the brush against her hair.
~*~*~*~
"That's one hell of a secret you got there Carter," Mark said slowly, savouring the words that he had just heard, running though the catalogues of information stored up in his brain for a good answer. He couldn't find one.
"Yeah, well, its not exactly something I want to shout from the roof tops," he whispered sadly.
"I don't know what to say,"
"I don't blame you," Carter replied, glancing at the clock that stood proudly on the mantle piece.
It was then that Ella had decided to wake up the world, her cries winding their way down to the second floor. John stood up and handed Mark his now empty mug.
"I really should be going," he said, stretching lightly.
"You sure you don't want to stay for breakfast? Elizabeth wouldn't mind at all."
Carter nodded he head slightly, walking towards the front door. "I think I should get going. Thanks for the coffee though, it was great to have someone to talk to."
"Anytime Carter, anytime," Mark called out, watching as the younger man walked out through the gate and into the street, his left hand bidding farewell as he left behind the neighbourhood from which he once fled.
"Mark?" asked Elizabeth as she looked up sleepily from the infant sucking at his breakfast. "Who were you taking to?"
Mark walked over and kneeled beside the rocking chair on which she sat, gazing down at Ella. He reached over and stroked her thin red curls gently, the smile that every father has stretching across his face. "Oh, you know, Carter."
"What was he doing here at this time of the morning?" Elizabeth asked worriedly.
"He had some pretty big things on his mind, walked past our place almost without knowing where he was,"
"Are you going to tell me what's so big or was it 'Guy Stuff'?"
"Sorry Elizabeth," he answered simply, leaning forward for a good morning kiss.
~*~*~*~
"All set?"
"All set." Deb confirmed confidently, feeling as though she was trying to convince herself instead of her mother's conscience, "I'm going to miss this."
Her mother turned round, eyebrows raised hands still working on perfecting the flower arrangement in the hall as they waited for the limmo. "Miss what?"
"I don't know." Deb sighed, "Being single, living alone. You know, this is like a huge decision. Sometimes I feel like. doesn't matter," she said distractedly.
"Well, I'm glad you see your sense of responsibility to the family. You have you father very happy these past few weeks, and my how did your Aunt Lee glow when she heard her only niece was getting married!" her mother practically squealed, "Oh look! Its actually on time," The Limmo had arrived, leaving Deb to wait in the hall alone as her mother hurried out into the misty raindrops.
"I feel like I've just sold me soul to the devil."
~*~*~*~
"Where is Joey?" Louie yelled, his longish hair flying everywhere as he walked around the reception area.
"We are looking for him sir-"
"Why aren't the flowers out yet? The tables are too plain!"
"We're working on it, Sir you sure you." pleaded the tiny man who was probably twice his height in width. Deciding that him asking the questions would not be what his customer wanted he clamped him mouth shut.
"What?!" Louie burst out stopping suddenly in front of the band that was turning up on the stage, causing an almost domino effect. Louie extracted himself from two short arms and settled the man back onto his feet. Almost kindly he asked again, "What is it you want, Pedro?"
"Shouldn't you. ahhh." his short term memory managing to appear again and he scratched his head, honestly forgetting what he meant to say.
Louie shook his head. 'At least I know he can throw party worth the money spent when the time comes,' he reminded himself for the tenth time that morning.
"Where the *hell* is Joey!?!" Louie bellowed again.
~*~*~*~
Deb sat in the limozine, her mother by her side looking out through the tinted windows. House after house, tree after tree rushed past, barely distinguished from the next. It was almost hypnotizing and after a few minuets of staring at the mess of greens, browns and pastel colours, mainly belonging to the houses Deb began to feel relaxed, almost sleepy despite the growing twist in her stomach that reminded her of what was to come within the next few hours.
"Mommy."
"Yes dear."
"I just want to know that, no matter how things turn out today or- or even in the future." she paused. Her mothered looked up at her expectantly, waiting patiently for what her daughter was about to say next.
"That I will always love you and papa," she said her voice low as though she expected someone else to be listening in on the conversation.
"I know," her mother answered with a smile. Mrs Chen placed her slightly wrinkled hands upon Deb's smooth ones, a gesture of affection and understanding. "I know."
They reached the church within minuets. People were still entering, lavish outfits and wild, dressy hats for the ladies and a prim, handsome tux for those who were male. The ring bearers, one for each gold band chased the flower girls who in turn were chased and then scolded by the bridesmaid. There was to be no maid of honour, as Deb had announced that she didn't want to 'hurt any feelings' and that 'each and every one of them were her best friends.'
"Yeah, right," Deb whispered to herself, thinking about the day she had announced it to be so. In fact, she barely knew anyone she could consider to be a maid of honour and those who she could choose, well, her family wouldn't deem them appropriate. Sigh. 'It's a tough and hardy job to keep up with a family like mine,' she thought privately to herself as the car came to a halt directly in front of the church. 'I hope that someday it will all be worth it.'
~*~*~*~
The apartment was silent, dark. Blinds were pulled down neatly, warding away the morning sun. Plates stacked in the sink, washed and ready for use. The bathroom door closed and John didn't bother trying to open it. Dave's door was closed, a pile of clothes heaped in front of it. Women's as well as men's clothing, Carter choose to notice. The television was on, black and white dots dancing on the screen, showing that there was no reception at this station and that they were free to come out and play.
He turned the television set off and placed the remote controls where they should be, on the coffee table. Then he just stood there, for a minuet or too not quite knowing what to do next.
The apartment was tidy, nothing to do there. He supposed that he could go in to the E.R and blow off his day off or, option number two.
There was no option number two. Deb, seemingly he knew, could not be in the picture. John knew that today would be the last day that she would be a free woman. Free to date and do as she pleased. After today she would be taken, not his and no one else's except for the son of a bitch. John seethed.
There was nothing he could do about it. Not if it was as she had wished, what she wanted and what she had chosen. It was her life and her decision if she wanted to go ahead and fuck it up.
At hearing the turn of a door nob, Carter turned to see Dave poke his head out, hair in bad need of a brush and eyes heavy with more than just sleep.
"Oh hey Carter man,"
"Morning!" Carter chirped sarcastically. Dave looked him over, taking in his rumpled clothes, the bags under his eyes and the blackish bruise that was beginning to appear of his cheek.
"It's not like what it seems- I."
"And just what is it meant to seem like Dave?"
"Uh-"
"I rest my case. You can go back to sleep Dave, I'm not about to ruin your day too."
Dave's eyebrows furrowed for a moment as he thought about what could possibly go wrong before a day even began. Before he could go to the trouble of trying to remember everything that Carter had told him the day before, Carter beat him to it.
"Deb, you know, tying the knot.?"
"Oh... *oh*!" Dave said, the realization dawning on his stubble filled face that didn't look much better than the one he was talking to, "I'm really sorry man-"
John waved him off, walking towards the kitchen and away from Dave's door. "It's not your fault. You just go on and have a good time with. whoever it is."
Dave reached forward before Carter could get any further. Giving him a friendly slap on the arm with a 'I knew I could count on you smile', "Thanks man. I owe you!" With that, he popped back into his bedroom and it wasn't until two minuets later that Carter distinctly heard a familiar female voice ask,
"Dave, who was that?!"
~*~*~*~
The ancient building towered over her, it's menacing towers piercing the clouds that hung low from the sky, so dark that it looked like was about to burst at any given moment. She was ushered quickly into hat looked like the priests preparation room, without the priest in it. Her mother led her to the chair in the corner and sat beside her on the short coffee table. Deb tried to look out through the doors at what was happening outside. She could hear voices, talking in various languages of Asian culture mixed in with a few garbs of English.
"Sit still!" her mother commanded, placing a hand firmly onto her shoulder, "I would think that it was your first time in a church the way you keep fidgeting and looking about. You must stay calm, relaxed, this is your special day. You're not to lift a finger."
"Easy for you to say," Deb muttered under her breath. She was itching to rub away the sleep on her eyes, but knew it would just ruin her make-up and agitate the older woman beside her.
Mrs Chen ignored her daughter's comment and kept her mouth shut.
They waited.
Deb was becoming even more nervous after each second that passed. She went quickly over vows, knowing that she didn't really need to with a memory like hers that it would never be forgotten. Her hands were folded neatly in her lap in an effort to stop them from doing things that would only cause trouble.
"Jing-Mei?"
Deb looked up, surprised at the gentleness and motherly feeling that was etched into her mother's voice. Suddenly she remembered a time where her mother would read to her picture books filled with the most wonderful pictures. Her mother's voice changing its tones and rhythm according to the words in front of her.
"Jing-Mei!"
"Yes Mummy?"
"Are you even paying attention?"
"Ahhh."
Mrs Chen nodded her head knowingly, the smile on her face showing that she thought she knew it all and with a tired but contented sigh she turned to stare out of the window at the trees passing by, the smile not leaving her face for a second but growing more pensive at each passing second.
"Calling the bride! Come here Darling and kiss your papa on the cheek!" a handsome Asian man, the lines on his face that not only seemed to prove age but also enhance his good looks stepped out from the doorway. Deb immediately rose to greet him and a lone tear fell from her cheek and it took more than a little effort to halt the others that were ready to hence forth and ruin her make-up. "Ay! Must not have tears on such a happy day- mustn't we?" a hanky was quickly found, tear blotted and the careful cosmetic work saved.
It was then, before any more conversation could begin, that the priest knocked lightly on the door before opening it a little and coming into the room.
'This is it.' thought Deb to herself,
"Well now! Are we ready to get married?"
~*~*~*~
A pen, a piece of gum rapping and a penny dawned one pocket. Bits of lint flew out as he checked for another perhaps forgotten penny. Nope there was none. Reaching down into his right pocket out came a dollar, "At least that's something useful," a broken pencil, a sandwich wrapper which he looked at in disgust before throwing into the bin nearby and a card. Simple, white cardboard in a rectangular shape one side printed on in black- a business card! Looking closer, the feeling that his curiosity was getting the better of him, John read the words carefully:
Father John Byers Our Lady of the Rosary catholic church Church street, Chicago. Illinois Christenings - Marriages - Funerals - Last Rites
It took more than a minuet to sink in the importance of the information- and what could be done with it. Assuming that it was Father John Byers that would be performing the wedding ceremony, the things he could do to perhaps postpone the.
No. He couldn't dream of doing that to Deb.
"Can't stand here debating the idea forever though, times a wasting!" Carter turned, almost crashing into his roomy.
"Dave, what the-"
"Dude! That's the church, right?" at Caters affirmative he went on, "What the hell are you waiting for- get your ass down there buddy. It ain't matter weather you intend on busting the joint; for as long as you know that she truly wanted to marry Louie you'll be fine."
Carter, seemingly needing another male counterpart to voice his fears nodded viscously in agreement and, without a word grabbed his coat before racing out the door.
"Atta boy!"
"Dave!- Is it safe now?" a whisper came out from the bedroom door way.
"Yeah. He went off after his love. shoulda seen the look on his face so serious he could have convinced the chief anything."
"Don't talk about your boss like that!"
"She's not here to hear me."
Suddenly the phone rang, once, before the answering machine picked up, "Dave?" came out the familiar nasal voice in its usual barking form, "Your going to be late for work so you better get your chops down here on the double!"
Abby and Dave stared at the machine, their movements halted as the realization of who it was that was talking seeped in.
"What the-?"
~*~*~*~
The cab stopped in front of the church, the tires screeching in protest at the slipperiness of the roads and the speed it which it was travelling in. Carter leapt out from within the car as though he couldn't get away fast enough, throwing a wad of bills at the driver who had certainly found his lucky day.
On the way to the church, John had been pondering over what exactly he was going to say once he got there- or even what the hell he was going to do there. Running into the church speechless, head turning as though he was a wild animal wasn't exactly what he had in mind and within minuets could have him hauled out of there like some bum on the street seeking shelter from the rain.
Looking round wildly, eyes lashing every bit like the desperate man he was, Carter took a step forward than another towards the side of the church which was sheltered and held a well-kept pathway empty of weeds and filled with luscious green bushes.
It was then he reached the side entrance to the church. The altar and the priest in front of it still hidden from view but the bride and groom for all to see. Luckily, Deb was on his side of the church and he watched for several minuets as she listened attentively to what the Father was saying. Louie looked down at their entwined fingers before seeking Debs eyes and smiling his cheese grin. From the arrogant look of 'hey! She's all *mine*' that was seeming to spread as thick as the butter on his toast that morning; Carter could tell that Deb had smiled back.
Tears of her mother could be seen, an accompanying sob of happiness mingled with a touch of loss escaping every now and then. Beautiful pink and white blossoms decorated the church, a pale cream ribbon entwined around them and most of the church. Although it was a wet and murky afternoon, what little light there was seeped in through the windows making it look more like an evening service rather than the early morning one it was. Candles were used to add extra light and the warmth they gave from within their glow made what was already a stunning church even more special. Pews were filled with relatives, a nannies whisper could be heard every now and then from the back of the church as they comforted or scolded an unruly child.
John took a step forward, not advancing very much further into the church, but closer towards the beautiful porcelain holy water dish, the face of the Virgin Mary looked down upon him and out of habit dipped the tips of his right hand into the water and made the sign of the cross.
Deb sighed. She knew Louie loved her, perhaps a little *too* much. She wondered if she could live with feeling suffocated for the rest of her life. about the vows she was about to make. relatives watching; her mother and father and feeling dizzy, Deb looked towards where she knew a fresh rain-scented breeze would be coming from.
The side doors.
It had almost been a surprise, but after a few moments the initial shock had worn off and all that was left was guilt. Guilt that she was betraying the man beside her, the people behind her and in a sense the man that hid in the shadows, his gaze peeking from underneath the overhang arrangement of flowers and ribbons.
"Ahem." The priest kindly cleared his throat to make sure that he had the participants in this marriage ceremony attentive and listening- facing forward which was one this the bride seemed to forget about.
Deb quickly realized where she was and turning towards the Father who was, at that moment about to start what was for many, the most important part of a wedding that life was short. That tomorrow, anything could happen.
Hell maybe she'd step off the curb and get hit by a bus filled with Jamaican singers and die because of extensive internal damage.
What if she's chained to Louie by a few children whom she only had to please her husband and give some purpose to her miserable existence?
Maybe she'd finally fall in love with him, but every now and then remember what could have happened if she had just gotten up the guts to.
By the time Deb glanced back at the overhang, John had left the church grounds.
~*~*~*~
It was foolish, turning up at the church like that. Deb had not given him more than a cursory glance- bit surprised but if she was more than, she didn't show it. Walking briskly through the light mist of rain, John turned a corner and feeling too tired to go any further, the loss and the acceptance of it all was like a load of lead on his shoulders. A burden to carry.
Perhaps for a long time unless he found someone to fill the void, sigh.
Sometimes he just wished he was nobody as there would be nothing to care about and no one to care for him.
~*~*~*~
Once again the priest looked down at Deb, brows furrowed as he 'Ahemed!' a second time to gain her attention, although it seemed sparse.
"Do you, Jing-Mei Deborah Chen take thee, Hon Loi Han to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
Silence reigned the church and nothing seemed louder and the minute stretched onwards. People began to lean forward afraid that they would miss something, a whisper perhaps. Louie squeezed her hand in comfort, a gentile smile which seemed to come out all wrong on his oval-shaped face.
The courage welled up inside her and the shame of lying to herself and others made her angry. Not at her parents, or Louie or John for that matter. But angry at herself for letting all of this happen without truly consenting with herself. Her soul.
"No." she whispered, her voice barely recognisable as a soft sob escaped and then a giggle of laughter.
The crowd seemed to lean forward like a wave, each and every ear straining to hear what the bride had to say.
"Beg your pardon?" asked the Father gently. It seemed as though he too was leaning towards her, hanging onto her every word.
"I."
Louie seemed to squeeze harder which only seemed to serve the purpose of reminding her how overprotective and possessive of her he could be sometimes.
"I got to go somewhere," was her final answer as she wrenched her arm from her supposed-to-be-husband-in-another-5 minuets and dashed out through the side door.
No one knew where she was going and those interested in the crowd all jumped up and, walking as calmly and with as much dignity as they could in their fancy heels watched as they saw a white dress and veil bob into the distance.
"What the hell is going on here?!" yelled Louie.
*** "I -knew- I wore these tennis shoes for a reason other than to be comfortable!" Deb whispered happily as she rushed passed the church grounds and taking a wild guess before venturing off to the right.
"John- Wait up!"
****
He turned round, shaking his head in disbelief at how far his mind would go, far enough to make him think that someone with a voice that sounded exactly like the person he was most trying to forget yet not succeeding in the least was calling his name. Though he turned anyway, just to be sure as no one could every really be sure as to.
"Deb.?"
John stood there shell shocked, eye brows eschewed in a troubled stance as he tried his hardest to contemplate what seemed to be Deb, over dressed in an admittedly beautiful wedding dress running towards him as fast as she could in. tennis shoes?
"What are you- I mean, don't you- do," he took a deep breath, looked towards his shoes for confidence before starting again, "Don't you have somewhere to be?"
"Not anymore," she whispered back breathlessly, "Do you mind if we sit down? This dress is a bitch to be in."
John nodded quickly and helped her over towards a bench seamlessly hidden by an over hang of climbing plants. The rain had slowed to a drizzle, the fairy lights in the garden of the church were on making the place look even more magical than one could ever think possible.
"I don't know John,"
He waited patiently for her to continue,
"I just guess that, well, Louie isn't the one for me, you know? Standing up at that altar and being faced to live a lie even for my family just wasn't right and, and."
"Shhh slow down!" he whispered soothingly. Digging into his pockets he trumped up a rumpled but clean looking hanky, "I guess you know now why I gave up surgery,"
Deb took to offering, and began to laugh before she even had the chance to explain herself fully, "Oh John, sometimes I just don't know what to do without you."
O'HARE AIRPORT
CHICAGO IL
OUTSIDE AMERICAN AIRLINES TERMINAL
"Deb? Are you ready yet, the plane is about to leave in ten minutes and if we want to be on it."
"Yeah, just hold on a second."
This is the last boarding call for American airlines flight 788 to Hawaii, This is the last boarding call for American airlines flight 788 to Hawaii would all passengers arrive at gate 10 immediately, thankyou.
She glanced around quickly, wondering if somehow miraculously her family had managed to follow her and John down to the airport. It was a spur of the moment of the decision and before she knew it, they were up at the desk at American Airlines asking if there would be by any chance two seats on a plane that would be leaving for Hawaii in the next hour or so. They had been lucky; an elderly couple had pulled out at the last minute giving them both a seat in first class, side by side.
Deb sighed down at the average sized white envelope in her hand. It had a stamp placed neatly into the corner and an address written down in careful handwriting.
"I just need to post this,"
And with that she placed the letter in the red letter box in front of her and listened to the soft papery sound it made as it hit the pile of other letters that relatives and friends had sent back to loved ones back home, some perhaps even similar to the one she had just written.
"Deb,"
"Yeah," she smiled up at him and took his outstretched hand only to be pulled hurriedly to the gate.
"I swear if we miss this flight."
"You'll love me anyway,"
"Yeah, I will,"
He smiled back at her allowing them both to have a quite moment to reinstate their till now silent vows before pulling her into the plane the both of them giggling and kissing, each one thinking how lucky they were to have the other here with them and not married off or drowning in sadness and loss.
***
"Mrs Chen?"
"What is it Hannah?"
"A letter has arrived for you."
The End
***I really need to thank Kerry, Lisa and Ash Carroll for all the help you've given me. and all the feedback I've ever gotten (and anyone else who I've failed to mention) Without you guys, I wouldn't be as proud of this fic as I am today. jeeze it took me long enough to finish!