I placed my notes on the podium and stared out over the small classroom. Eight very serious cadets looked back at me, and I closed my eyes briefly. I could handle this. Taking a deep breath, I began.
"My name is Bob, Guardian 452, and I am your instructor for this class. You may all be wondering why you all are here – I think I can answer that. From what Turbo has told me, all of you have, at one time or another, expressed opinions that run contrary to the current interpretation of the Guardian Protocol."
Some muttering at that. Good.
"I'm not here to tell you your ideas are wrong – on the contrary, the fact that I'm standing here in front of you today is proof that not only do non-standard approaches to combating viruses and dealing with other malicious code work, but that in many cases they work better than what the protocol says. This isn't a tutorial on how to fight viruses. In the course of this class, we're going to take a look at how viruses, codemasters, and other formats work, and develop our own strategies to combat them. The guardian protocol is not upgrading fast enough to deal with the increasingly powerful viruses we've been seeing. At the moment, we're under a silent siege, not only from the outside, but from within. People are losing faith in our effectiveness, and they're right, for the most part. You eight, you're the Guardians of the future, and you aren't going to let the Collective stagnate."
There were a few surprised looks – was this not what they were expecting? Well, it was what they were going to get.
"This is going to be primarily a discussion class, but we will be working hands-on with viruses if I can get the proper permissions through. As it is, though, I'd like to take a roll call, and introduce you all to each other. You're all going to be working together very closely for the duration of the course." I looked at the relevant datapad. "Okay then…Cadet Catia?"
A cadet raised her hand. She was a pale purplish-pink, with white hair, as tall as some of the boys in the class. I gave her an encouraging smile, then continued.
"Chainik?"
"Enigma?"
"Hal?" This sprite was a deep near-black in coloration, with matte grey hair and red eyes – medium height, he was sitting near the back inconspicuously. He nodded as I called his name.
"Er…Jolix?"
"Lunesby." I hadn't been expecting Turbo's pink-haired secretary to be here – her manner was, as before, by-the-book, and when she spared a glance at her classmates it was with barely-concealed contempt. If this was an attempt by Turbo to keep an eye on me, it was a very obvious one. Not that Turbo seemed the subtle sort, mind.
"Mel?" The tallest of the sprites, his brown hair was cut close to his head. His pale ivory body was rail-thin, and he seemed to be a quiet sort. I had to call his name twice before he realized I was talking about him, and then he just narrowed his eyes at me.
"Valence?" I had noticed this sprite as soon as I had entered – his blue-purple skin was flecked with silvery freckles and a tattoo on his left cheek, and his orange-yellow hair was in serious disarray. He scowled at me when I called his name, then reverted to what appeared to be his standard 'sullen' expression. He would be trouble.
"Okay, now, let's start moving furniture." The class stared at me blankly for a moment. "There's absolutely no way any of us are going to learn anything if I just stand here and talk." I hopped down from the podium, and accessed the classroom configuration specs. Glitch was a major help, and I soon had cleared space within a circle of nine chairs.
"First things first. Somebody define a virus for me. Let's start with the basics." I looked down at the datapad. "Cadet Jolix?"
The deep teal boy frowned thoughtfully. "A destructive format."
A bit general for my taste. "Uh…good…anyone else?"
"A being that, like, spreads itself through systems." I had immediately taken a dislike to this silver-skinned sprite – her manner was rather vacant, and she seemed rather more interested in me than whatever concepts I was teaching. I was unused to being stared at, at least like that. It was discomfiting.
"That's more a worm, Enigma. A virus needs help spreading itself across the Net."
"A program that embeds copies of itself in other programs, corrupting their function." Leave it to Lunesby to give the answer straight out of the relevant datafile. I sighed.
"Yes….Basically, most of these. Some viruses have no function other than to propagate themselves, others have a specific function to carry out. Usually, though not always, this involves the total infection or destruction of the system. In this class, we are going to be covering worms and Trojans as well as viruses. There are clear distinctions between classes of malignants – they're not all viruses. Some of them aren't even really malignant. I've had personal experience in dealing with an infectious virus and a chaos virus – by that I mean a virus that deleted programs instead of infecting them. I assume most of you have watched that awful docudrama that Mike produced?" Everyone nodded except for Mel, who shrugged and quietly said he didn't watch TV.
"…yeah." I said. "So, class, what do you think motivates a virus?"
"Eh…" Hal tilted his head at me. "Greed?" I pursed my lips…a bit too close to home.
"More general, I think…anyone?" I glanced around the room.
Valence narrowed his eyes. "Same as anyone. Self-interest."
I nodded. "That's not always true, but it's a good thing to remember, as it goes for most. As a rule viruses think first and foremost of themselves and their function. They don't have charitable urges. If they cooperate with you, there's a reason. Don't assume that they're doing anything out of the metaphorical goodness of their cores. Key term here – ego. A virus thinks of people in two ways – inferiors, to exploit, or equals, to compete with. Viruses acknowledge no superiors. They consider themselves and their function the most important thing in the Net."
"Another key term – symbolism." I watched the class scribble that down, morbidly amused. "Victory for a virus is not only achievement of his goal, but the utter humiliation of his enemies. Grudges aren't forgotten, and scores are settled in full. Public image is important. Viruses react very badly to being objects of public ridicule – that can be used against them, but mostly it simply makes them needlessly angry. And if an angry virus can't get at you personally, he'll resort to killing any convenient civilians to flush you out into the open. It's generally better to deal with a virus professionally – keep it between you and him. Remember, your primary concern is the system and its inhabitants. Any mistake you make can delete people, and you've got to remember that."
"Not all viruses are the same. Tactics that work with some are ineffective on others. Having a fair idea of how a specific virus thinks can give you an edge against them – and in most dealings with viruses, deletion is on the line. Keep in mind that viruses aren't tears, or bugs – they're intelligent. They can reason and be reasoned with if you know what they want. This, despite what previous instructors may have told you, is a valid option in dealing with viruses - part of what this class is all about! A détente is often less destructive to the system and its inhabitants than the cost of fully uprooting a virus would be. Personal experience, here."
The class was scribbling frantically, and I paused to let them catch up. In creating the syllabus for the course I had been struck by the ignorance of the Collective in basic facts of viral life, things that I assumed the Collective would naturally take an interest in. Certainly I would never have let myself be so ignorant of how things really worked in Mainframe (which was, more or less, by the will of Dot). Some education, and perhaps an introduction of a solution set that doesn't necessarily involve large explosions, might help.
Not that I had anything against large explosions, mind. It just seemed like the Collective was overly eager to destroy their own infrastructure given half an excuse. While I had been guilty of the same on occasion, it helped my cause in context, while rather undermining the supposed ethos of 'Mend and Defend'. I was beginning to have suspicions about the true motivations of the Collective – but that wasn't something I was about to bring up in class. At least not yet, anyway. Seeing the majority of the class looking up at me expectantly, I continued. Cadet Valence could resume staring sullenly out the window, for all I cared…he reminded me of the larger Enzo, except possibly even less mature.
Other than the genocidal Viral Incident team training, the subject of viruses was never dealt with in as much depth as it deserved. The indoctrination of the cadets to the desired format was rather thorough – I was quite impressed. But that was irrelevant to the lecture, and I did not bring my …personal biases…into it. After a while, even Valence stopped passing notes and started taking them.
"The danger that a virus poses is not simply a question of its power, it is a question of its intelligence. Successful viruses come in all varieties, and the competition between them ensures that only the best survive. In many cases, these are the most powerful – but a less powerful virus must survive on its wits alone, and these are often more dangerous. Generally, a virus' intelligence is inversely relational to its power – viruses like Daemon and Hexadecimal exhibited the intelligence of a child, while others, such as Iris, Gadfly, Megabyte, or Tetracycle posed similar threats because they were intelligent enough to use what power they had in novel and efficient ways. While Daemon certainly is, so far, in a class consisting only of herself, viruses have been increasing in complexity as the Net continues to grow. The Guardian Collective, and the protocol it perpetuates, must adapt to face these new threats. Later in this course, we will go further in-depth into the ways viruses are changing in this second, and why finding new approaches is a necessity if we are to maintain the bastion of integrity and freedom that is the Net." I paused; taking a long breath, then glanced at the local iteration of the system clock and winced. We had gone well over time. "Any questions? If you need to get to a class, you're free to go. Er. Sorry about that."
Half the class left. The rest were looking at me in a manner that could only be described as predatory. I felt a sudden apprehension sweep over me.