(ZephyrSamba here again! Just wanted to thank everyone who's reviewed thus far – this has been a fun story to write, and it's great to see that folks have been enjoying it =) Here's hoping you like the remaining installments. And in response to your question, J-4-DD – right now I'm expecting there to be 8-9 chapters by the time I'm finished, although that might change if it seems like more/less are in order. I think Plank knows, but he's not telling – I guess we'll both just have to wait and see!

And finally – much thanks, Triad Orion, for letting the Ed-boys out of your room long enough for me to use them here. I promise I'll put 'em back when I'm done!)

*****

Ed's stomach rumbled. It was well past time for Sarah to bring him his lunchtime grilled gravy sandwich; he wondered what was keeping her. It was really unusual for her not to show up – she always liked to watch him hold his sandwich between his toes (such a nice, squishy feeling!) while he ate. And now that he noticed it, he hadn't heard her yelling about anything in a long time, either.

This could only mean one thing.

"The Spaghetti People got Sarah!!!" He ran around, flapping his arms in despair. By now they had probably replaced all her blood with marinara sauce and enlisted her in their army of mindless slave warriors fighting against the Meatball Men of the Mueller Meteoroid, and…and…

And it was all his fault! The Spaghetti People had probably heard his thoughts – how could he ever have wished that he was an only child? "I am a terrible big brother!" He threw himself on the ground and sobbed. "It should have been me! Why, Spaghetti People, why?"

It was long moments later before he had finally cried himself out. Wiping his eyes on his jacket sleeve, he raised his head resolutely.

"Beware, foul inhabitants of the pasta dimension, for you will pay!" He climbed to his feet, hands clenched. "I will hunt down spaghetti noodles wherever they are found!"

He faltered for a moment. Where were spaghetti noodles found? "Ooh! I know!" He'd once discovered one up his nose! Pushing back his sleeve, he stuck his hand in up to his elbow…hmm…Maybe that squishy thing up there was a stash of spaghetti? He gave it a tentative squeeze.

His legs kicked violently out from under him, sending him crashing to the floor, twitching.

"Oops." Ed released his brain and removed his hand from his nose. No luck there, although his toes did feel pleasantly tingly now. He'd have to remember that for later.

"Spaghetti noodles, spaghetti noodles…" He checked the hole in his wall, the drain in the floor, and the crack in the ceiling. There was plenty of cool crawly stuff all around but nothing that looked like a Spaghetti Man. Those guys could be tricky!

But no doubt about it, he would find them. Oh yes. And once he did, he would make them pay for what they'd done to his baby sister.

And he'd get started right away – just as soon as he'd given his brain a few more squeezes. "Just call me Mister Tingle Toes!"

*****

Now that he'd made it back to the relative safety of the cul-de-sac, Edd had no intention of wandering far. He considered just going home but was loath to abandon the brilliant summer afternoon. Perhaps he could engage in a little botanical investigation – yes, it had been a while since he'd been able to examine the local flora uninterrupted. Who knew, perhaps he'd even discover a new specimen to keep Jim company, that would certainly be –

"Hey, Double-D! What's up, dude?"

Good heavens, it was Nazz! And she was speaking - to him! His recent encounters had left him even more apprehensive than usual about the opposite gender, but nonetheless, this was Nazz. Nazz, who was always so friendly. Who was always so polite! Who always –

"Um, Double-D?" Nazz raised an eyebrow. "Hel-lo?"

He hadn't answered her yet! Oh, the inexcusable rudeness! No doubt about it, he'd be having nightmares about this for weeks. "My apologies, Nazz! I was just…uh…reflecting upon my day?" In an attempt to keep his shaking to a minimum he concentrated on identifying the types of clouds drifting overhead.

"O-kay…" she giggled, then looked around. "Hey, where are Ed and Eddy? It's not like you guys to be away from each other…"

That one's a cumulonimbus. And look, there's a cirrus. "I-I-I'm afraid my erstwhile companions are restricted to the confines of their rooms for the duration of the week," he winced at the verbal barrage flooding forth from his own mouth – and was his voice always so squeaky? He coughed and forced himself to try again. "That is to say, uh…my friends are grounded."

Nazz cocked her head to the side. "Aww, so you're all alone today?" She'd probably use the same look if she ever found a puppy caught out in the rain. "Poor Double-D!"

"Oh, don't worry about me, Nazz," he tried to muster up an enthusiastic smile. "This has been a…unique…opportunity for me to renew my acquaintance with my fellow cul-de-sac inhabitants."

"Good for you, Double-D! You're so brave!" Nazz's heedlessly patronizing smile nevertheless tied his entire being in knots. "Hey, I was just gonna go watch TV, you wanna come with?"

Say no! Say no! This type of social interaction went light-years beyond his range of experience; it could only end in some horrific blunder! "W-why, I'd love to, Nazz! Thank you very much for the invitation!"

Nazz giggled. "Sure, dude. Come on, let's go!" Edd tagged along behind, trying to ignore the warning sirens blaring through his head. Soon they arrived at Nazz's house. "Well? Come on in, Double-D!"

Edd stepped in and looked around. "It's like I always imagined it…" The place was nearly as spotless as his own, but far more trendily decorated. It resembled one of those showpieces that usually only existed within the pages of upscale design magazines. "Y-your home is lovely, Nazz."

"Ugh, do you think so? My parents did most of the decorating – so boring, you know?" She made a face. "But they did let me help out a little – how do you like my tree?"

Edd suppressed a yelp as he spotted the large plastic palm tree squatting in a corner, gold trim and colored lights flashing up its trunk. Inexplicable charms and ornaments swung from every frond – on one was a little plastic tuba, on another, a picture of Nazz at judo class – and a sunglasses-wearing stuffed flamingo was perched on top, icing for the catastrophe. It couldn't have been any tackier if it had been draped in velvet Elvis paintings.

"Why, that's - um - truly extraordinary, Nazz, quite the triumph of ... individual expression?" Despite himself Edd had to suppress a smile at the thought of Eddy's reaction to this assault on all that was home decor; it could have been quite at home in his room ...

"You really think so?" Nazz smiled. "Thanks, Double-D. My parents keep trying to take it down, they think it's 'tacky'." She rolled her eyes. "Anyway – what do you wanna watch?" She sat down and held out the remote.

"Well, I believe – " Edd stopped cold; was he truly about to suggest they watch the shale marathon currently playing on the Geology Channel? "That is to say, you're the host - I'm certain that whatever you normally watch at this time will be a pleasure." Social blunder number one, averted.

"Aw, you're such a good sport." She turned on the TV and flipped immediately to her show. "You know 'Who Wants to Be a Big Bachelor Brother'? We gotta watch this week, dude - next week's the season finale!"

Edd groaned inwardly. "A landmark moment in modern Western culture, no doubt..."

Nazz nodded vaguely, already absorbed in her show.

Edd sighed. So much for being the only person in the country who had avoided the onslaught of so-called 'reality' programming. But then again, he was here in Nazz's house, wasn't he? Invited to share in her very favorite television program by Nazz herself? Surely exposure to any show would be a price well worth paying! And at the very least they couldn't be any worse than the standard fare at Ed's, with his beloved Polish robot octopi, ravenous flying brain leeches, and the like ...

The brain leeching began almost immediately. He frowned in consternation. "If I may ask, we aren't truly expected to believe these people are acting of their own volition, correct? I mean, they're clearly being directed in their - d-directed by ... " He stammered into silence at the sight of the vague annoyance crossing Nazz's face, all the response he was to receive even after his whispered, "Sorry." Clasping his hands together, he vowed not to cause any further disturbance.

His vow quickly ran out on him. "Excuse me, but have any of these so-called 'Fridge Raid Challenges' been vetted by a licensed nutritional physician? I can't help but think this consumption of such - um - vintage herring might set a bad example for more impressionable viewers." He winced as Nazz glanced sidelong at him and pointedly turned the volume up a notch. Even as more sensible parts of his brain tried to induce lockjaw he listened in horror to his panic centers launching into full-scale Mollification Mode. "F-forgive my interruption, I hope you would un-understand my concern if you had ever been privy to Ed's gastronomic habits - why," he offered a nervous giggle, "the first time he encountered a full wheel of cheese - "

"Double-D!" The force of Nazz's full-on irritation was enough to mercy-kill his words on the spot. What in heaven's name was he doing??! He was a GUEST, for goodness' sake!!! Edd tried to keep his lower lip trapped between his teeth and resolved to view the show as merely an elaborate, if poorly conceived, sociological study.

It worked for almost an entire minute. "I'm sorry, but this is atrocious," he sprang to his feet, "surely you must SEE that! Hidden 'laundry room cams'? Microphones camouflaged as the 'free prize' in their breakfast cereal? That is an egregious breach of privacy no matter WHAT kind of fishbowl those poor misguided souls signed themselves up for! I ask you – "

Nazz gritted her teeth as Edd continued his rant unabated. Real girls are nice, her mom always reminded her. Be nice to everybody. It was usually so easy.

She turned up the volume until it hurt, to no effect this time. She'd thought Double-D would be no trouble without Ed and Eddy around, but maybe Kevin was right about all three Eds.

She would never say it, though. Wouldn't even think it.

Be nice. Be nice. Be nice. It always worked so well before.

" – and who ever thought it would be a grand idea to house seven people in a place with only one bathroom? That's so unsanitary! Not to mention the – "

Nazz's hand dug into the armrest. Okay, maybe she would think it, just a little.

Dork.