Eddy crouched beneath his bed and finished off the few lonely Chunky Puffs left over from his emergency supplies. He should've restocked after Ed had discovered the stash and crammed most of it down his throat, but somehow he'd just never gotten around to it.

Well, it's not like he'd need it much longer now, anyway.

Wiping crumbs off his mouth, he put his ear to the floor and started tapping. It didn't take long before he heard what he was looking for – the hollow 'thump' that indicated the entrance to his secret crawlspace.

"Eddy my boy, you're a genius!" Okay, so actually his big brother had discovered the crawlspace back when the room was his, before Eddy was born. When Eddy was young his brother would use it to sneak in at night and pretend to be a monster under the bed. Upon finally discovering who the 'monster' really was, Eddy pestered him until he agreed to reveal the well-hidden trapdoor.

Sliding aside the loose floorboards, Eddy paused. He was always reluctant to use this route since doing so risked its discovery – and he planned on needing it more and more in his upcoming teenage years. With every other exit firmly sealed, however, he didn't have much choice other than just staying put – and that was no choice at all.

He opened the trapdoor and slipped inside. It was dusty and dark, but he'd been through it enough times with his brother to know the way.

A left at the first branch…He could taste his freedom already. First thing he'd do was go get Double-D – although he hadn't decided yet whether to let him hear it for not bothering to come free him, or get him right to work on their latest scam – well, what the heck, why not do both!

Another left, then a quick right…

Now he just needed to decide which of the scams he'd cooked up over the past few days they should do first. It couldn't be Ed's Home Movers – though the other kids would be lining up to have their houses carted down for a creek-side view, no way could they run that one without Ed to do the carrying.

Almost there now…

Ed's Drive-Through Squirrel World was probably out of the question, too. Oh, he could talk Double-D into putting on the squirrel costume if he wanted, but Sock-head would probably have one of his stupid 'ethical' crises over the idea of marketing a drive-through to people who weren't old enough to drive. Some people just had no vision at all. Oh well, Ed would make a much better squirrel, anyway.

One last turn, and he'd be free! He'd just pop off the hatch to the outside, and then…

It couldn't be.

Could it? It couldn't.

It was!

"AAARGH!!!" The floor rattled as Eddy slammed his fists against it. "How?" He glared at the chains looped across his would-be exitway. How had his parents known? "How, how, HOW??!?"

He banged his head against the floor. So many plans ruined thanks to a few stinking loops of metal! It wasn't fair! Again he wondered how his folks had known – he'd never used the exit on his own before, and his brother –

Wait.

Of course. His BROTHER must've ratted him out! His own brother – maybe faced with a longer than usual punishment, or trying to coax a few extra bucks out of their parents – must have spilled the beans as part of some past 'plea bargain'! It wasn't like he needed it, even when he was living at home – he was a whiz at escaping and probably had six or seven other secret exits in his own room alone.

"Rrggh!!!" Eddy yanked at the chains in useless fury. What kind of heartless jerk would rat out his own brother?! Selfish jerk – if Eddy had been the older one, he'd NEVER have…

Well…okay, maybe he would. In fact, despite the situation, he found himself grudgingly admiring his brother yet again. The guy always knew how to work things to his own advantage.

It was really too bad Eddy didn't have a younger brother of his own.

Grumbling to himself, he backed up the passageway. Forget Double-D, and forget the scams – admiration or no, the very first thing he was going to do when he finally escaped was break into his brother's room and flush his stinking camel down the toilet.

*****

"Get OUT!!!"

Edd backed out the front door. "Nazz, please! I apologize!" He winced as a couch cushion bounced off his head. "Stop, wait! I-I promise to refrain from further comment if only you'd give me another chance!"

Nazz stalked out with eyes flashing furiously. "I missed my favorite show because of you! How am I going to know what's going on next week?" Waving her arms, she continued her rant. "Why couldn't you just be quiet? Why do you have to be SUCH a do – " She caught herself as Edd looked down dejectedly. "No ... I'm sorry, Double-D, you're not – I didn't mean…" She rubbed her temples and sighed. "Look, just – just go, okay? I'll see you later…" Muttering to herself, she walked back inside and slammed the door.

Edd felt a little dizzy as the guilt washed over him in waves. When would he learn to keep his opinions to himself? Nazz had every right to be irate.

Well, there was nothing more he could do now; he'd just have to attempt another apology after Nazz had calmed down sufficiently. He shook his head sadly and turned to go.

Kevin was standing directly behind him.

"Oh!" Edd startled back. "H-hello, Kevin!" Kevin crossed his arms and glared at him. "Is there – is there something I can do for you today?"

"Well, gee, you can start by telling me what you did to tick Nazz off so much, dork."

Edd shrugged nervously. "It was a rather inexcusable gaffe on my part, I'm afraid. You see, Nazz had been gracious enough to invite me in to watch television with her, and I – "

"Hold on. You expect me to believe that Nazz invited you into her house?" Kevin snorted. "Right. What kind of scam are you trying to pull, Double-Dweeb?" He looked around suspiciously, probably wondering where Eddy was.

"U-unlikely as it sounds, Kevin, that's exactly what occurred. She apparently felt – "

"You. In Nazz's house. Invited." Kevin's eyes narrowed as he mulled this over.

Edd was sure he didn't want to be around for whatever conclusion Kevin was going to make. "Yes, well, one never knows when events will take a turn for the unexpected, eh Kevin? I-I really must be going now, I have a significant number of chores to which I should attend before – "

Too late. Kevin refocused on him. Edd calculated the likely differential between Kevin's speed and his own, and realized he should have started running several days ago.

"Awesome."

"Kevin, wait, I didn't – " Edd paused mid-cower. "E-excuse me?"

"You were in Nazz's house?" Kevin was looking at him with…awe? Admiration? No, more likely he was considering how he could profit from this. "Dude, how'd you get her to let you in?"

"You mean she's never invited you – " Kevin's clenching fists suggested this was an unwise line of questioning. "Um, w-well, I didn't 'get' her to let me in so much as she did so of her own volition."

Kevin's scowl returned. "And…? Why would she 'do so of her own'…whatever?"

Edd looked down sheepishly. "I believe it was pity, Kevin – she appeared to feel sorry for me, as I'm on my own today while Ed and Eddy remain grounded."

"What? Yeah, right – no one's gonna feel bad about those dorks not being around!" He advanced, fist raised. "Look, are you gonna tell me the truth right now, or do I have to – " Kevin's face suddenly took on a distressingly cunning look, Edd noted as he peered out from between shaking fingers. "I mean…uh…I'll be right back!" As he ran off towards his house he called over his shoulder, "And if you go anywhere before I get back, you'll be so sorry…"

Edd gulped, wondering what Kevin had in store for him. This day could certainly be proceeding more favorably.

Kevin returned several minutes later, fidgeting with his shirt. "Hey, Double-D! What's up, compadre?"

Edd stared, then buried his face in his hands. "Give me strength." Never had one of their past schemes come back to haunt him in quite so unsettling a manner. In place of his normal clothes, Kevin now had on a red t-shirt, blue shorts…and a black stocking cap.

Taking a moment to collect himself, Edd looked back up. "Welcome back, Kevin, you certainly are looking…familiar…"

"Yeah, well, I thought it was time I ditched that old outfit of mine for something more dor – cooler." He slung an arm around Edd's shoulders. "So hey, why don't you hang with me for a while?"

Did he have a choice? Edd closed his eyes briefly. "Why not?"

"Great!" Kevin's hat slid down over his face and he pushed it back up. "I knew you were cooler than those other two losers you hang out with."

Edd frowned. "Now see here, Kevin – Ed and Eddy may not be the most socially acceptable of fellows in the traditional sense of things, but they're my best – "

"Yeah, sure, shut up, will ya?" The arm around Edd's shoulders tightened in a most unfriendly manner. "Now listen, pal – we're buds, right? Look, I've even got a book – you can borrow it if you want!" Kevin pulled a bicycle maintenance brochure out of his pocket and waved it in Edd's face. "'Cause that's what friends do, don't they? They share stuff!"

Gee, where ever could Kevin be going with this? "Kevin, I truly don't have any intelligence for you regarding Nazz or how you might win entrance to her home." He ducked out of his grasp. "I'm sorry, but – "

"No problem, amigo! Hey, maybe you'd like a jawbreaker? I've got lots back in my garage – whaddya say?"

"Thank you, Kevin, but I've completely lost my appetite."

"Oh, hey, I understand!" Kevin looked around. "I know! Let's go over to the junkyard and, uh, build stuff! You like that, don't you?" He smiled, but the contempt on his face was clear. "Could you show me how to, um, hook up a stereo to my bike?"

"Well ... " Edd scratched his chin, intrigued despite himself. "The first thing you'd require is some sort of power supply, of course; perhaps you could attach a generator to – " He caught himself, and raised an eyebrow. "To the salmon circling the Tupperware in your cabbage patch."

"Uh-huh, great. You're such a genius!" Kevin didn't even try to look away as he rolled his eyes. "Is that why Nazz let you in? Do you think she's into smart guys? Why don't you show me how to act like that, pal?"

"Kevin, I already told you, Nazz's invitation was based purely on a well-intended sense of sympathy! I don't think – "

"Did you get to see her room? What's it like?"

"Kevin, you're not listening! My visit was of such brief duration that I never even saw the kitchen, let alone Nazz's sanctum sanctorum!"

"Do you think she'd like me better if I built her something?"

"For the last time, Kevin – I HAVE NO INFORMATION FOR YOU! NONE! Not a JOT! Not a TITTLE! Not an IOTA!" To his utter horror Edd discovered he'd grabbed Kevin by the shirt and was shaking him vigorously. He gasped and let go as if burned.

Kevin slowly pushed his hat back out of his eyes. "So you're not gonna tell me anything."

"Uhh…p-please believe me, Kevin, I quite simply have nothing that you would find of value - h-here, let me help you with that…" he uneasily smoothed Kevin's shirt back into place.

Kevin knocked his hands away. "Isn't this the part where you should be running?"

Edd swallowed. "Y-yes, that would be the conventional course of action, wouldn't it?" His weak smile was met with a deepening glare. "Although I don't suppose you'd be willing to consider an alternate – " He looked just beyond Kevin. "Oh, hello Nazz!"

"Nazz?" Kevin tore off his hat and dove into a nearby bush. "Nazz! I-I was only dressed like Double-Dweeb as a joke! You gotta believe..." He trailed off as he peered out at a totally Nazz-free landscape. His gaze turned back towards Edd, already scrambling away at top speed. "Sooo sorry..."

Edd gamely kept going, but he could hear Kevin coming up fast behind him. Yes, he definitely should have started running long ago.