(A/N: In case you were wondering, this isn't the last chapter. I've still got 2 more planned (well, one and an epilogue) – what can I say, it's just not 'finished' at the end of this chapter – and I must admit I've had a lot of fun writing this, I suppose I'm reluctant to move on =)

And Wizzard – as for your 'amazing climax': well, I just conferred with Double-D about that as I'd had this great idea, but he simply refuses to put on the robot suit, or shoot any bazookas, or even jump through one measly Flaming Hoop of Death! He was all, "blah blah blah, Wizzard probably meant 'amazing' within the context of the story…" *sigh* So much for my 'Eds/Terminator 2/Cirque du Soleil' crossover extravaganza ending…

Ah well, I'll keep at it ...

-ZephyrSamba)

*****

Ed double-checked his supplies.

Toilet seat: check! His empty room left him with little to arm himself with against the deadly Spaghetti Men, but the toilet seat came off easily enough, and it just might come in handy.

Meatballs: check! He'd been saving them in his jacket pocket for days now, planning on making his special Meatball Bubblegum when they got gooey enough. Meatballs were the Spaghetti Men's natural weakness, though; his bubblegum would just have to wait.

Well, there was nothing else to prepare; it was time to go avenge Sarah. Ed sat down and used his finger to draw on the dusty floor, trying to write out a smart plan like Double-D would do if he were there.

A few moments later he beamed proudly down at the monster he'd drawn, before remembering his original intent. This wasn't getting him anywhere. Shrugging, he stood, took careful aim at his wall, and backed up for a running start.

"Coming through!" He hit at top speed and crashed through to the dirt on the other side. Wiggling up to ground level, he pulled himself to his feet. For a moment he felt just like a creature from 'Zombie Night Fever: The Musical,' and he sploomped around with delight. Just as he was about to start whistling the big dance number, however, the alarm bells started clanging in his head – he was still grounded! If Sarah caught him now, he would be –

No, Sarah couldn't catch him now.

Not now, not ever again.

Ed was about to start sniffling again, but got distracted as he heard someone else sobbing nearby.

"Hello?" He crept towards the sound, toilet seat held up defensively. As he rounded the corner of his house, he came upon…

"Jimmy?" Ed squinted at the sniffling boy; something wasn't quite right. Jimmy's eyes were redder than usual, and he seemed…hollow, like he was missing something.

"You're my only friend now, Mr. Cuddles!" Jimmy stroked the teddy bear as he rocked back and forth. "Now that Sarah…" trailing off, he buried his face in the bear and whimpered.

How could he know about Sarah already? With a shock, Ed finally realized what was going on: Jimmy must be a spaghetti slave, too! In fact – Ed gasped in horror – it must have been Jimmy who had turned Sarah over to the Spaghetti Side in the first place! His headgear was obviously some sort of intergalactic telephone – Ed was surprised he hadn't noticed that before. Why, with Jimmy on their side, those Spaghetti Men probably thought they'd have no trouble taking over the cul-de-sac!

Well, they hadn't counted on Ed! He leapt in front of Jimmy. "Vile pasta fiend!"

"Ed!" Jimmy shrunk nervously away – he must know that Ed knew that he knew that Ed…

Uh, what was he doing? Ed smacked himself on the head with the toilet seat to kick-start his brain. Oh yeah – Jimmy, bad! Ed slammed the seat down over Jimmy, pinning his arms to the side.

Eyes ringed, Jimmy looked down. "Is this from your bathroom, Ed?" He started to shake and turn green – he must be about to mutate!

"Do not try to escape, creature from the pasta dimension!" Ed grabbed 'Mr. Cuddles' and swallowed him whole to show Jimmy he meant business. "What have you done with Sarah?"

"Sarah!" Jimmy's eyes started to water again. "Ed, it was horrible! She's been…grounded!" He did a really good job of looking upset, but he couldn't fool Ed. "And it was all Double-D's fault!"

"Oh no! Double-D is a spaghetti slave, too?" Ed was briefly appalled, but then he realized that it just couldn't be true. Spaghetti slaves were experts at blending into the crowd, and Double-D, with his funny way of talking and those cool but weird things he was always making, well, didn't really pass as human. No, he might be a lizard-man, or even some mad scientist bent on turning everyone into waffles, but Ed was pretty sure he wasn't a brainwashed pasta zombie.

Glaring at Jimmy, Ed pulled an oozing meatball out of his pocket. "No more lies, minion of the noodleworld!" He shoved it up to Jimmy's face. "Tell me what happened to Sarah or face the terrible meatballs of truth!"

"Aaaah! Sarah! Help!!" The nerve of Jimmy, calling out Sarah's name after what he'd done! Ed had had enough. Jamming the meatball up Jimmy's nose, he rooted through his pockets for more. Those Spaghetti People needed to be taught a lesson.

*****

Edd looked down ... no, up ... no, down ... at the ground beneath him. Even stretching as far as he could, he couldn't quite reach it. Nor did he have the abdominal strength necessary to reach up and untie his feet from the monkey bars.

"Curse my honest nature," he sighed. Well, lesson learned – next time Kevin wanted information, he'd make it up if he had to. That, or start running a whole lot sooner. For now, though, there was still the matter of getting down. If only Ed and Eddy were around they could –

Well, they probably couldn't have helped; most likely they'd be dangling by his side anyway. Still, it'd be nice to have the company.

Jonny's distinctive laugh pulled Edd out of his reverie. "28…29…30! Ready or not, Plank, here I come!"

"Jonny!" Finally, some assistance! "Excuse me, Jonny – I was wondering if you could spare a moment of your time to – "

"Oh, hiya, Double-D!" Jonny looked up and waved as he ran past. "Just a minute – me and Plank are playing hide-n-seek!"

"Um…" Edd looked over at Plank, lying facedown near where Jonny had been counting. Should he say something? No, that might ruin their game. He would wait – after all, he certainly wasn't going anywhere.

Five minutes passed. All the blood was running into his head. To take his mind off the sensation, Edd counted the number of times Jonny checked under the same rock. He was up to 14 already.

Ten minutes passed. Jonny checked his pockets and the soles of his shoes before returning to examine the rock for the 23rd time.

Fifteen minutes passed. Jonny hadn't moved in the last five minutes, other than to scratch his head. Edd pulled on his hat and swung in exasperation. "Jonny, OPEN your EYES, man! For crying out loud, you're STANDING on him!!!"

"I am?" Jonny jumped back and looked down. "Nah, that's just an old hunk of wood, Double-D." He chuckled. "Good one, though - you had me scared for a minute!"

The force of Edd's frustrated swinging finally became too much for knots that had kept him suspended aloft, and he fell to the ground with a crash. After a quiet moment of recuperation he slowly picked himself up and limped over. Sighing, he reached down and turned the board face-up.

"Hey! It really IS you, Plank!" Jonny scooped his friend off the ground and held him out at arm's length. "That was a great board impersonation, you sneaky rascal!" He hugged Plank as Edd looked on. "Thanks, Double-D, I never woulda found him without you!"

"Oh…you're welcome, Jonny." Jonny and Plank's happy reunion left Edd feeling a little…well, he was probably just tired. After all, it had been an exceptionally long day. He sat down on the ground and rested his chin in his hands.

Jonny frowned. "What's the matter, Double-D? You don't look too – what's that, Plank?" He held Plank up to his ear. "Really? You think so?" Jonny looked back and forth between Plank and Edd, swiping a toe across the ground. "Hey, Plank, I know! Double-D can hang out with us!"

Oh no, not more charity. "Thank you, Jonny, that's very kind of you to offer, but it's truly not necessary – I'm doing just fine on my own." He stood up. "In fact – "

"Plank says denial ain't just a river in Egypt, Double-D!" Jonny scratched his head and looked at the board. "I don't get it, Plank…" He listened for a moment. "Oh!" He nodded sagely, then gave an appreciative laugh. "That's a good one, buddy!"

Edd sighed. "Yes, well, Plank certainly has a way with…er…classic psychological humor, Jonny. Now, if you don't mind, I just want – "

"Oh, come on, Double-D, it'll be fun! And later we can make wheat germ smoothies!"

Suddenly Edd felt very tired indeed. Still, Jonny didn't look like he would give up easily. "Very well, Jonny, if you and Plank don't mind, perhaps I will join you for a little while…"

"Woo-hoo! Look, Plank, we've got a new playmate!" Jonny bounced in place, beaming brightly at Edd.

After a few minutes of this, Edd coughed uncomfortably. "Um, Jonny? Is there a game you'd like to play or – "

"Hey Double-D, why's the sky blue?"

Ah, familiar territory! Edd relaxed and even smiled a little. "Well, Jonny, when the light from the – "

"Hey Double-D, why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?"

"Uh, there's a solvent that…er…didn't you want to know about the – "

"Hey Double-D, how come there's no gravity in my closet?"

"Blue…sky…" Edd blinked. "No gravity in your – "

"Hey, Double-D, what's under your hat?"

"Actually, Jonny, my – " Edd gasped and pulled reflexively down on his hat. "Jonny! I would never ask after any of your most closely-guarded secrets, and I would appreciate – "

Jonny's laugh cut him off. "Oh, me and Plank don't have any secrets, do we, buddy?" He nudged Plank. "In fact, you wanna know something?" He looked around, then leaned in conspiratorially. "Plank's got a crush on someone!"

Edd looked skyward. "Of course he does..." More loudly, he said, "And just who is the lucky recipient of Plank's affections?"

"Well…" Jonny glanced at Plank before continuing. "You know the third rail from the end of Rolf's fence?" He giggled. "Plank says she's got a grain that just won't quit!"

For once, Edd found himself truly speechless. "W-well, that's...uh..."

"Only thing is, she won't give Plank the time of day." He gave Plank a comforting squeeze. "I keep telling you, buddy, she's too stiff for ya…yeah, I know, love is blind, huh?" Suddenly his eyes lit up. "Hey! Maybe Double-D can help, Plank! He's good at figuring stuff out!"

"W-well to be honest, Jonny, this really isn't my – "

"Yeah, you're probably right, buddy, I guess he isn't exactly the smoothest guy on block…you probably would be better off asking someone else. Oh well!"

Edd crossed his arms and turned away. "I could help, you know…some people consider me – oof!" Suddenly he went sprawling as Plank slammed into his back.

"TAG! You're it!" Laughing wildly, Jonny ran across the playground with Plank.

"Jonny, please! You really should warn people before you do that!" Edd picked himself up, rubbing his smarting shoulder.

"Yee-haw! Can't catch us!" Jonny ran past, stretching out so that Plank passed within inches of Edd's reach. Seeing that Edd made no attempt to chase after them, he ran past again, closer this time. Still no reaction. Jonny stopped and scratched his head. "Didn't anybody ever teach you how to play tag, Double-D?"

Just a little closer…as Plank finally came within reach, Edd lunged out to tag him. "Ha – oh!" Jonny pulled Plank out of the way at the last minute and Edd, overextending himself, fell flat on his face.

"I guess me and Plank are just too smart for ya, huh Double-D!" Jonny laughed. "Don't feel bad, we play this all the time! You wanna do something else?" He scampered over to the merry-go-round. "I know! Let's spin around 'til we throw up!"

"Curse hyperactive disorder." Edd looked over at Jonny. "I'm sorry, Jonny, but recreational regurgitation really isn't high on my list of all-time most favored past-times. In fact, I really should be going…"

"Aww, don't go, Double-D! We still haven't talked to the trees, or dug for buried gum wrappers, or pet the squirrels or – "

Enough was enough. "Jonny, I truly am ready to go – "

" – or found any onions or made shoes for the sparrows or – "

"Jonny! Calm down, lad! You're getting completely – "

" – or named the clouds or tasted the swings – "

"AAAAIIGH!!!!" Hands up to his ears, Edd leapt to his feet and tore, shrieking, out of the park.

" – or – " Jonny frowned as he watched Edd race away. He scratched his head. "Gee, I guess you were right, Plank – Double-D really is a little weird without Ed and Eddy around, isn't he?" Shrugging, he laughed. "Oh well, we tried! Come on, buddy, let's go find some bumblebees to paint!"

"…"

"Oh, all right, we can go visit your girlfriend first. Boy, Plank, have you got a lot to learn about playing hard to get!" Jonny poked his friend. "Whaddya mean, I'm not the smoothest guy on the block, either? Haven't you seen the way that street sign down on the corner looks at me when we go by?" He frowned. "No, I don't think she's just using me to get to you! Gee, Plank – " still arguing, Jonny and Plank headed off towards Rolf's.