**A/N sorry it's been so long, I wasn't going to leave you all hanging on,
but we had a huge power cut and I only got the power back yesterday morning
and so much school work.ugh..can't guarantee this will be especially long,
but anyways, it's here. Don't forget to keep those reviews coming in! I
love reviewers and will always consider any ideas you give me.**
**********************************
Suddenly, in Dumbledore's office, there was a swishing sound, and one Sirius Black emerged from thin air, clutching a bag of sherbet lemons which had been his Portkey into Hogwarts.
"I swear, Albus, you have to get over this thing with muggle sweets!"
Dumbledore smiled, but his eyes didn't twinkle as they normally did.
"Sirius - it's about Harry. Will you sit down?"
Sirius blanched, and looked at Dumbledore in horror.
"What happened? Albus, is he alright?"
"Yes. He is alright. Physically."
Sirius visibly relaxed and sank back in his chair. Then he straightened up with a glower.
"I'll string him up if he hasn't been keeping up in class. . ."
"No, it's nothing like that. It's. . .a hard thing to have to relate, Sirius, so please keep calm and don't interrupt me."
Sirius looked tense and anxious, but sat silent and motionless waiting for Dumbledore to explain.
"Last night, Harry ran away from the Dungeons," Dumbledore ignored Sirius' splutter and continued, "He went up to the Astronomy Tower and. . .jumped. Thankfully, Severus had the presence of mind to levitate him, and Harry is now recovering well. However, given the circumstances, I would prefer him to stay with you."
The headmaster paused for a moment, looking at Sirius over the top of his half-moon glasses.
"Would you like to see him?"
****************************************
McGonagall had come into Draco's room and taken Harry back to Gryffindor dorms that morning. She told him that he could sleep in late, but that she would be happier if he was with his friends.
Harry didn't bother to say anything. She wouldn't listen to him. He longed for Sirius. He could trust Sirius. Ok, so he had told Draco not to tell Sirius, but he thought that now most of the staff knew he had tried to off himself, Sirius would find out anyway.
He had been staring at the ceiling for about 45 minutes when there was a tap at the door, and Sirius' voice.
"You in there, Harry?"
*****************************************
Sirius pushed open the doors and looked at his best friend's son. Unbidden, the words 'I wish he had died instead of James' rushed into his mind, and he shook his head to clear the thought. It wouldn't go.
He awkwardly sat on the edge of Harry's bed, surreptitiously stretching his legs. He had been prowling around as a dog for too long.
Afterwards he maintained that he had meant to say "How are you?" or "Oh God, Harry, are you alright?". However the words that came out were, "What.The.Bloody.Hell.Did.You.Pull.A.Stunt.Like.That.For?"
Harry recoiled back into the bedsheets. This was like his worst nightmare. Oh god, he should have known how ashamed Sirius would be. Sirius was so brave, so loyal - so unlike Harry. Of course he wouldn't understand! Who would?
He meant to apologise. He meant to tell Sirius that he didn't want to hurt anyone. But all that came out was a snarl.
"Fuck off! What makes you think you could understand? Nobody knows what's going on, you're all just accusing me! I hate you all!"
Sirius stared at his godson, hurt and fury showing in his eyes. A small voice at the back of his mind told him to apologise but he didn't.
"We have been working to save your sorry little hide since the moment you were born! How dare you criticise us? And Dumbledore, who you haven't once apologised to!"
"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought people who tried to kill themselves weren't supposed to apologise to the people who made them do it!"
Sirius glared in a very Snape-like manner at Harry.
"Do not talk to me again until you wish to apologise," he said icily. "I am ashamed of you." And as he walked out of the room, he muttered,
"I wish it had been you instead of James."
***************************************
Remus tried to calm down Sirius.
"I miss him so much, Remy. They say Harry's like him, but he's not. Not really. James would never hurt people like that. Why couldn't it have been Harry?"
The animagus broke down sobbing, and Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius.
"I know, Siri. I know."
***************************************
Harry drew the cool blade over his hot, scarred skin. It felt so good, so alive. He was alive, wasn't he? Dying wouldn't bring his father back for Sirius and Remus. It wasn't worth it. Was it? Of course Harry had heard what Sirius had said as he left the dormitory. That hurt even more - that Sirius hadn't meant it to be heard, so he must have been serious.
With a sigh, wrapping his bloodstained arms in bandages, the muggle way (it hurt more) he went back to bed, intending to sleep.
But fate would never be that kind to him.
************************************
*Kill the spare!*
"NOOO!"
"Shut it, Potter. Before we come and shut it for you."
"Sorry"
************* 5 minutes Later ***************
*Kill the spare!*
"NOOO!"
There was silence, and then footsteps. Lots of them.
And then pain.
***************** 10 minutes later *****************
Harry stumbled out of the common room, out of the portrait hole and into the landing. Everything hurt. The lashes on his back, which his strongest concealing charms had covered from everyone, had opened up, as had his arms. He felt cold, sick, and humiliated. As they had started raining blows down on him, he had remembered Vernon, and vomited all over the floor. A spell would clear it - but not the memories he relived every time a hand was raised against him.
He started towards Draco's room, and then stopped halfway down. Draco had probably had more than enough of Harry's petty whinging. After all, he was a Slytherin. And Harry. . .was nothing. The Gryffindors, Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs hated him now. He should just disappear. As though agreeing, his stomach rumbled loudly.
With a small groan, Harry's legs gave out and he slid to the floor, resting against the cool stones.
*********************************
Snape had been patrolling the corridors again. Much to his disappointment, he hadn't managed to catch any students out of bed. Maybe he should steal Potter's map that seemed to show everyone in the school at one time. It would be very useful. . .
Snape's thoughts were disturbed by a small moan from around the corner. Quickening his pace, he hurried tot he sound, and saw Harry, short pyjamas drenched in blood, slumped against the wall.
"Fucking hell. Not again!" He muttered, and swept over to the boy.
"Harry? Harry!"
Harry looked up into Snape's blurry face. Oh no, this had to be a nightmare! Not again!
Snape sighed. The boy seemed to be surrounded by imbeciles who had no idea how to look after him. Hadn't his godfather been supposed to come?
He jerked himself from his thoughts as he watched Harry loose consciousness again, and, sweeping up the child in his arms, hurried back to his rooms.
**********************************
Suddenly, in Dumbledore's office, there was a swishing sound, and one Sirius Black emerged from thin air, clutching a bag of sherbet lemons which had been his Portkey into Hogwarts.
"I swear, Albus, you have to get over this thing with muggle sweets!"
Dumbledore smiled, but his eyes didn't twinkle as they normally did.
"Sirius - it's about Harry. Will you sit down?"
Sirius blanched, and looked at Dumbledore in horror.
"What happened? Albus, is he alright?"
"Yes. He is alright. Physically."
Sirius visibly relaxed and sank back in his chair. Then he straightened up with a glower.
"I'll string him up if he hasn't been keeping up in class. . ."
"No, it's nothing like that. It's. . .a hard thing to have to relate, Sirius, so please keep calm and don't interrupt me."
Sirius looked tense and anxious, but sat silent and motionless waiting for Dumbledore to explain.
"Last night, Harry ran away from the Dungeons," Dumbledore ignored Sirius' splutter and continued, "He went up to the Astronomy Tower and. . .jumped. Thankfully, Severus had the presence of mind to levitate him, and Harry is now recovering well. However, given the circumstances, I would prefer him to stay with you."
The headmaster paused for a moment, looking at Sirius over the top of his half-moon glasses.
"Would you like to see him?"
****************************************
McGonagall had come into Draco's room and taken Harry back to Gryffindor dorms that morning. She told him that he could sleep in late, but that she would be happier if he was with his friends.
Harry didn't bother to say anything. She wouldn't listen to him. He longed for Sirius. He could trust Sirius. Ok, so he had told Draco not to tell Sirius, but he thought that now most of the staff knew he had tried to off himself, Sirius would find out anyway.
He had been staring at the ceiling for about 45 minutes when there was a tap at the door, and Sirius' voice.
"You in there, Harry?"
*****************************************
Sirius pushed open the doors and looked at his best friend's son. Unbidden, the words 'I wish he had died instead of James' rushed into his mind, and he shook his head to clear the thought. It wouldn't go.
He awkwardly sat on the edge of Harry's bed, surreptitiously stretching his legs. He had been prowling around as a dog for too long.
Afterwards he maintained that he had meant to say "How are you?" or "Oh God, Harry, are you alright?". However the words that came out were, "What.The.Bloody.Hell.Did.You.Pull.A.Stunt.Like.That.For?"
Harry recoiled back into the bedsheets. This was like his worst nightmare. Oh god, he should have known how ashamed Sirius would be. Sirius was so brave, so loyal - so unlike Harry. Of course he wouldn't understand! Who would?
He meant to apologise. He meant to tell Sirius that he didn't want to hurt anyone. But all that came out was a snarl.
"Fuck off! What makes you think you could understand? Nobody knows what's going on, you're all just accusing me! I hate you all!"
Sirius stared at his godson, hurt and fury showing in his eyes. A small voice at the back of his mind told him to apologise but he didn't.
"We have been working to save your sorry little hide since the moment you were born! How dare you criticise us? And Dumbledore, who you haven't once apologised to!"
"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought people who tried to kill themselves weren't supposed to apologise to the people who made them do it!"
Sirius glared in a very Snape-like manner at Harry.
"Do not talk to me again until you wish to apologise," he said icily. "I am ashamed of you." And as he walked out of the room, he muttered,
"I wish it had been you instead of James."
***************************************
Remus tried to calm down Sirius.
"I miss him so much, Remy. They say Harry's like him, but he's not. Not really. James would never hurt people like that. Why couldn't it have been Harry?"
The animagus broke down sobbing, and Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius.
"I know, Siri. I know."
***************************************
Harry drew the cool blade over his hot, scarred skin. It felt so good, so alive. He was alive, wasn't he? Dying wouldn't bring his father back for Sirius and Remus. It wasn't worth it. Was it? Of course Harry had heard what Sirius had said as he left the dormitory. That hurt even more - that Sirius hadn't meant it to be heard, so he must have been serious.
With a sigh, wrapping his bloodstained arms in bandages, the muggle way (it hurt more) he went back to bed, intending to sleep.
But fate would never be that kind to him.
************************************
*Kill the spare!*
"NOOO!"
"Shut it, Potter. Before we come and shut it for you."
"Sorry"
************* 5 minutes Later ***************
*Kill the spare!*
"NOOO!"
There was silence, and then footsteps. Lots of them.
And then pain.
***************** 10 minutes later *****************
Harry stumbled out of the common room, out of the portrait hole and into the landing. Everything hurt. The lashes on his back, which his strongest concealing charms had covered from everyone, had opened up, as had his arms. He felt cold, sick, and humiliated. As they had started raining blows down on him, he had remembered Vernon, and vomited all over the floor. A spell would clear it - but not the memories he relived every time a hand was raised against him.
He started towards Draco's room, and then stopped halfway down. Draco had probably had more than enough of Harry's petty whinging. After all, he was a Slytherin. And Harry. . .was nothing. The Gryffindors, Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs hated him now. He should just disappear. As though agreeing, his stomach rumbled loudly.
With a small groan, Harry's legs gave out and he slid to the floor, resting against the cool stones.
*********************************
Snape had been patrolling the corridors again. Much to his disappointment, he hadn't managed to catch any students out of bed. Maybe he should steal Potter's map that seemed to show everyone in the school at one time. It would be very useful. . .
Snape's thoughts were disturbed by a small moan from around the corner. Quickening his pace, he hurried tot he sound, and saw Harry, short pyjamas drenched in blood, slumped against the wall.
"Fucking hell. Not again!" He muttered, and swept over to the boy.
"Harry? Harry!"
Harry looked up into Snape's blurry face. Oh no, this had to be a nightmare! Not again!
Snape sighed. The boy seemed to be surrounded by imbeciles who had no idea how to look after him. Hadn't his godfather been supposed to come?
He jerked himself from his thoughts as he watched Harry loose consciousness again, and, sweeping up the child in his arms, hurried back to his rooms.