Yami: Before you say it, we're both as confused as you are at the last chapter.
Bakura: Hopefully this will be readable. If not an explanation is pegged on at the end.
Borath: (Looking miffed) The yami's formed a union so I can't torment them as much when opening my fics.
Yami & Bakura: (Big smiles)
Chapter 19: Shopping 2
Yami and Seto had left Yugi to hunt around the different types of tents on his own some time ago, now simply wandering around the shop aimlessly as everyone else sis their own thing. They had passed Bakura and Ryou a few minutes ago, the former looking extremely pale and shaky and the latter trying to be comforting. He got thwaped repeatedly as a result of his efforts.
Yami wandered away from Seto for a second leaving the elder Kaiba brother on his own in the middle of isle. Glancing around he briefly caught a glimpse of his brother's unruly black hair poking around the corner of a shelf before a loud and distinct humming caught his attention. It got louder, the sound directly behind him and causing him to turn to face it as a result, before it got quiet again. Watching the end of the isle intently now, he heard the humming start up again as whoever was making the noise got closer to him.
"Dun-dun, dun dun dun-dun, dun dun dun-dun..."
It was undoubtedly the theme-music from Mission Impossible, and the fact that Joey darted across the end of the isle he was facing humming it loudly, eyes looking around suspiciously, just made the situation even weirder. Deciding not to dwell on the insanity of the blond for fear of sending his own mind over the edge, Seto turned to ask Yami's opinion of what had just happened.
Sighing tiredly when he couldn't see him, Seto began making his way back down the isle, looking both ways when he reached the end of the shelves and saw Yami apparently trying to take the door off of the wall to his left.
"What are you doing?" he asked with a confused frown, seeing Yami's exasperation as he slowly realised that, from the way the door wasn't moving, it might be locked.
Kicking the door for good measure before turning to face Seto, Yami strolled towards him with a dipped head, knowing smirk and a definite swing to his hips which made it pretty bloody obvious what he was doing. Shaking his head and taking a safe step backwards, Seto swallowed heavily at the approach and brought his hands up against the other.
"No. Not a chance, not in a shop like this, no way Yami," he protested, taking yet another step back before Yami's boots ended up on his toes to stop him walking.
Leaning in close to his face crimson eyes blazing, Yami growled out in a low voice, "I have double the amount of hormones as last time: Do not even try and stop me."
Feeling the heat coming off of the other body Seto knew that he wasn't going to win this argument, nodding slightly which meant he could feel his toes again as Yami stepped off of him. Motioning for him to walk on, Yami followed Seto with a predatory gaze, fists knotting in his jacket pockets as he picked up his pace.
//Alright, so not all my hormones are that bad.//
****
Over in the Auto Department there was a crackle of static over the speakers before a voice that really sounded like it wanted to be at home watching television spoke. "Clean up in House-wares. Repeat: Clean up in House-wares."
This bored voice sent Bakura to his knees clutching his head and trembling violently. He was a little twitchy right now after the 'possessed-store' incident. Feeling a pang of sympathy for him Ryou crouched down next to him and put a comforting arm around the trembling shoulders.
His action was rewarded by a sharp elbow in the ribs before Bakura rose to his feet and stood over him, fierce eyes practically setting his skin on fire as they relayed just how pissed-off he was.
"If you do that one more time I will shove your head up your ass. Then you'll spend the rest of your miserable life wandering around on all fours looking for the light-switch."
Point taken, the winded Ryou nodded slightly and watched his Dark stalk off, his eyes glancing around nervously around every corner before he passed them. Apparently seeing something he stopped and stared for a few seconds before cackling sadistically.
Fearing that he had seen something like a hamster being nailed to the wall Ryou shakily stood and made his way over to his counterpart. Standing at his side extremely curious about what would have his yami this cracked up, he followed his gaze and his own breath caught.
Standing in the middle of a carpeted area that shelved all of the little anonymous mechanic things was Joey. Only now he was holding two plastic green funnels over his chest and striking poses. Glancing down and shaking his head he chucked the two funnels into the growing pile a few feet away and picked up two slightly larger ones, these orange in colour. Striking more poses, it was fairly obvious that Joey was perfecting his Madonna look.
There was another tell-tale crackle over the speakers causing Bakura to cringe, and strangely for Joey to toss the funnels to the side and glance around himself. Then, when the speaker announced that someone needed to go and clean up Joey's mess the teen dropped onto the floor and curled in a foetal position, hands clawing over his face and body trembling with an intensity that could only be faked.
"NO! NO! It's those voices again" he fairly screamed, distracting Bakura enough to bring him out of his terrified state on his knees and look over at him.
"He's lost it," Ryou announced in a deadpan-tone, glancing down at his yami to see if his assistance was needed, if still unwanted.
"For once I'm going to agree with you."
****
Three doors down and all were locked. Seto could tell that Yami was going to pin him to the floor and tear his clothes off of him regardless of who was around pretty soon, something which spurred him to get pretty violent with all the doors they encountered and found locked.
Yami had both his hands in his hair now, breath coming between clenched teeth as he walked, something that was getting pretty uncomfortable now. It was rapidly dawning that this particular hormone explosion was going to be just as damnable and difficult to cope with as any other he had experienced. //I am going to start murdering the store-employees for the keys to these doors soon.//
Lost in his own blood-rush as he was he didn't notice Tea until he smashed into her, landing rather painfully on his backside and remaining there when he noticed that she was glancing around herself rather suspiciously.
"What are you doing?" he asked in as normal a voice as he could manage. To his despair it came out rather strangled.
Tea's eyes darted to his, an eyebrow arching as she noticed his flushed and squirming state. "I could ask you the same question," she replied quickly.
"Nothing."
"Me neither then."
It was pretty obvious that they had reached a truce there. Coherent thought returning for a few fleeting seconds Yami frowned at her, glancing around quickly before returning his gaze to hers.
"Where's Kiara?"
"M-Mai has her," Tea said extremely fast before flashing him a very forced and very non-assuring smile and running off past him.
Groaning when he found that he couldn't actually get up, Yami gave a half-shout to Seto to help before returning his hands to their former position of being in his hair. Pulling hard he tried to use the pain as a distraction, failing miserably. Glaring at Seto when he finally appeared, he allowed himself to be lifted to his feet before driving him into the shelves.
Yelping under the onslaught, Seto shoved the Game King away from him rather roughly, standing watching him warily from the other side of the isle. Glaring at him, Yami clenched his hands into fists before driving out the words from between his teeth. "Keep. Looking."
****
Yugi's eyebrows were in his hairline when he stepped back from the fifteenth tent that he had looked at, or more precisely the price of the fifteenth tent he had looked at. Looking around himself to see if any of the other material domes caught his fancy he briefly caught sight of Joey streaking across the carpet into the Department, tearing the doorway of a dark blue tent open and diving inside.
Approaching with an appropriate degree of caution, Yugi opened the doors of the tent and went to peer inside. Joey's head popped out before he could though, the material being jerked out of Yugi's fingers as he clutched it around his neck tightly preventing Yugi from so much as seeing inside.
"You can only come in if you bring a pillow," he said seriously.
At Yugi's blank look he blinked and receded back inside, the zip of the tent-door going up to seal himself inside. Eyes wide, the tri-haired boy decided that it was probably not a good idea to even try and figure out what the hell Joey was doing, or what he had been sniffing, and walked away from the ten quickly and quietly.
For 'Twas not safe to be near the blond one right now.
****
Tea was near to tears when she saw Mai approaching her with a definite lack-of-baby in her arms. "Nothing?"
The taller girl shook her head sadly, genuine fear in her eyes. "As terrible as it is to say it, I'm actually more worried about what Yami and Seto will do to us than Kiara."
"I think we need to get more people looking for her; we can't find her on our own in a place this big."
"You're right," Mai admitted. "I guess we'll have to tell them. Any idea where they are?"
"Yami was just coming out of the House-wares Department when I last saw him, but I think it'll be a little trickier to find them both now."
"Why's that?"
"Yami's randy."
"Oh."
****
"Finally!"
The word came out as more of an giddy squeal when Seto found the one and only door in the entire store that was actually unlocked. Unfortunately, it was also the broom closet.
Not that Yami cared, evident by the violent shove in Seto's back before he stepped inside the small space too and shut the door behind him. Plunged into complete and utter darkness now, Seto touched numerous items that he seriously wanted identified as he squirmed around, knowing when he was facing Yami when his mouth was covered almost desperately.
Submitting instantly, he brought his hands down blindly to support his weight when he felt Yami's hands brace on his shoulders as he lifted himself off of the ground, slender legs locking around his waist. Feeling Yami's fingers wrestling with his belt, numerous curses filled the air between them as his actions proved futile and Seto got irritated quickly with having his fashion sense insulted, clamping his mouth down over Yami's partially just to shut him up.
Pulling away when Yami stopped fumbling, he wrapped his right arm around his waist entirely to hold him up and to him as his left sorted out the matter of his clothing. "Impatient little thing, aren't you love?"
He got a firm nip on his jaw-line before a response came through the dark. "Shut up."
Not wanting to incite anything in such a small space, Seto willingly obliged Yami's every whim.
****
"Joey! Have you seen-what the hell are you doing?" Tea shouted across the space separating them, Mai firmly at her side.
The blond looked up from the twelve-bore shotgun he held in both his hands, his face that of someone who was extremely tired of what they were doing now. "Sorry Tea, I can't say."
Looking back from her, he whistled and waved over the sales assistant who came to his side instantly, eager for something to do other than wandering around aimlessly.
"Where do you keep your anti- depressants?" he asked seriously, still handling the large weapon as he watched the other man. The assistant appeared quite flustered and his hands were twitching in a way that indicated that he desperately wanted to take the gun off of the teen before even daring to answer that question.
Frowning at the scene, something moved in the corner of Mai's vision and she turned to see what it was. Seeing Honda and Mokuba, red faced from restraining their laughter so forcibly, was not quite what she expected.
"What is going?" she demanded, looking from the dubious pair to where Joey was scaring the assistant and back again.
"Joey's making a prat of himself," Honda explained through pants of restrained hysterics.
"Well we can see that! Wh-nevermind. Have you seen Yami?"
"Yeah, he and Big Brother were in the Auto Department a few minutes ago. Why? Where's Kiara?" Mokuba asked, noticing for himself that his niece was somewhat missing.
"That's why we need to find them! Look, can you just help us by finding Kiara whilst we tell Yami and Seto what's happened?" Mai pleaded, quite unlike her usual proud self.
"You know that you won't come back from saying that alive."
"We know, but it'll be a longer death if we don't find her soon. God knows what might have happened to her! What if Bakura's found her?!"
****
Opening his eyes to the ever-present darkness Seto shifted his hands and adjusted Yami's temporarily sated form in his lap. At the moment he was sat on what felt like the janitor's bucket, the rim of the damned thing digging into the back of his thighs in a most unpleasant way. He wasn't 'distracted' now so the prickling pain was shifting into his attention, as well as the realisation that they had been inside this closet for a fair bit of time now.
Trying to encourage some life into Yami by shaking him, he knew that if they didn't move soon someone could discover them and likely the others were going to start getting suspicious if they didn't make an appearance. The subtle method failed miserably though, moving him to speak.
"Yami?" he whispered, not knowing if anyone was outside or not.
"Hmm?" came the drowsy response, signalling to Seto's despair that Yami's brain was still quite vacant from his skull.
"Com on, pull yourself together! We have to get out before a clerk comes," he hissed trying to get the urgency of the situation through into the Game King's addled brain.
"No. Sleep. You can carry me if you want," Yami mumbled into his throat.
"I can't exactly pick you up if you're straddling me, not to mention the fact that I don't think I have the strength to pick you up right now."
There was a grumbling acceptance into his neck that made the skin of his throat tingle and resisting the urge for a repeat of what had just transpired, Seto moved one of his hands from Yami's hip and pushed the door gently. He was hoping to open it a crack to see if it was clear outside so they could get out, however the wood didn't budge under his fingers, forcing him to shove a little harder.
"Um, Yami?"
"Hmm?"
"You're not going to believe this, but the door's locked on the outside."
"Likely story. I reckon you're just being affected by my presence and, proximity," Yami replied in the darkness, shifting purposefully in Seto's lap to convey his point.
"No! I really can't open the door!"
"Oh fuck."
"No Yami! This is a real problem!"
"I didn't mean-oh sod it. So what do we do?"
"Well you can get off me for a start because this bucket is really starting to dig into my ass."
"It was an experience." It was pitch black but Seto was positive that a shrug had accompanied that statement.
"Yes, but now we have the tiny problem of being stuck here. Can you call Yugi for help?"
"And give him the satisfaction of seeing me like this? Not bloody likely."
"It's that or we're going to switch positions because I'm starting to go numb in places now."
'Yugi? Help?'
****
It took a few minutes for Yugi to make his way to the correct department and a few more to even find where Yami said that he was locked in. Under strict instructions that if he so much as smirked after releasing them both that he would be thrown to Bakura, Yugi turned the door handle and opened the door to their prison.
Yami had apparently had his back to the door because he landed on his rear as Seto moved out as swiftly as possible, kneeling down beside the fallen teen whilst Yugi shut the door and glanced up and down the isle to make sure they were alone.
Placing a large palm over Yami's already swollen stomach he examined his face to make sure that the fall hadn't hurt him. At a raised eyebrow that clearly stated that his concern was unnecessary, he put an arm around Yami's waist and helped him rise to his feet.
"You're always so fussy in the afterglow," Yami stated with amusement, brushing off the back of his trousers after he found his balance.
"That is quite enough information for me, thank you," Yugi exclaimed, violet eyes meeting the crimson and blue that looked down at him with mild surprise and genuine gratitude.
The cosy moment was shattered by Tea's voice called to them as she raced down the isle, Mai a few steps behind her as they ran. "Yami! Have you got-?"
"Where's Kiara?" Yugi asked before she could continue, glancing from Mai to Tea before his eyes turned anxious and rose to gauge Yami's reaction.
Yami's face remained stony but Seto's relayed far more emotion. "Where is she?!"
"God Seto, we're so sorry! We just looked away for a minute and-she must have crawled off!" Tea exclaimed, eyes tearing up now.
Mai was not saying anything, far more concerned with watching Yami who remained frighteningly impassive. Tea and Seto seemed to notice his silence and fell quiet, their gazes moving to rest on his faces. His mouth was a thin line as he regarded the ground, almost as if he considered it something really interesting.
"You lost my daughter," he finally said in a very calm tone, his eyes still down and his body frozen.
At Tea and Mai's hesitant, dooming nods his eyes suddenly exploded into life, his head jerking up and his voice going from a calm tone to one of a possessed maniac. "HOW THE HELL DID YOU LOSE MY DAUGHTER?! WHY?!"
"We don't know!" they both shouted right back, fearful and upset at the same time.
It was Yugi who calmed him down, Seto boiling with fury and worry pretty much completely occupied with resisting the urge not to throttle the pair. "Shouting isn't going to find her, Yami. She's probably safe, we just need to find her."
"She's fine Yugi, I just have no idea where she is," Yami replied, the decibel level of his voice returning to something normal. At their questioning looks he shrugged slightly. "I can sense her, alright? It's not as strong as the bond I have with Yugi which mean's I can't locate her, but I know she's safe."
"Come on; we'd better start looking now before Joey finds her first," Seto said already walking away from the group, Yami turning and following on his heel with Yugi whilst Mai and Tea resumed their search for the missing child.
//I hope Joey doesn't find her, especially with the way he's been behaving today. He'd probably put her in a microwave or something.//
****
After thirty minutes of fruitless searching, the entire group minus Ryou and Bakura met up in the House-wares Department, Yami and Seto sick with worry and the others continuously glancing around incase Kiara was nearby. They all looked up when two shop assistants ran past in terror with cries of 'demon child!' Cursing from between the shelves behind them signaled Bakura's approach.
"Damn you, you little freak! Stop pulling!"
Exchanging curious looks they all rose to their feet and moved towards the sound of the angry voice, their eyes growing wide when the trio came into site.
Kiara was sat on Bakura's shoulders, her hands lost in Bakura's platinum hair and more significantly a miniature Eye of Horus glowing fiercely on her forehead. Squealing with glee, she lent back against the slender hands that were holding her in place on his shoulders, giving her carrier's hair another hard yank.
Ryou followed behind Bakura looking amused and slightly bewildered at the sight. Looking over his yami's shoulder he gave them a grin and a shrug as they approached.
"Pharaoh, get your spawn off of me now before I kill both it and you," the Tomb Raider snarled when he was standing opposite an extremely surprised Yami.
Not waiting to be told twice, Yami reached up and deftly removed his child from the other's shoulders, cradling the excited infant in his arms and grinning down at her. After a brief internal struggle he looked back up at Bakura who was still fuming at the squirming baby.
"Thank you for finding her," he said honestly, knowing very well that he would likely never be able to say those words sincerely to him again.
Bakura just snorted and crossed his arms. "I didn't find the brat, she found me. Started chewing on my pant leg when I wasn't looking. The Ring went insane when the Eye appeared."
Yami made a considering noise, touching the dimming mark with a finger, which caused it to disappear completely. Handing Kiara over to Seto who received her gratefully, he crossed his arms in thought. "It's likely that Kiara inherited Shadow Magic from me and can use it at whim. I'm bound by my title and the Puzzle to only use my magic to issue Game Penalties or help Yugi. Apparently she is under no such limitation."
"How'd you figure that?" Honda asked concerning the last part of that explanation, frowning down at the Game King who still seemed deep in thought.
"This might be a good example," Seto said for him, directing their attention to him as he looked up from Kiara. He was holding a small metal screw that had somehow come into his possession over her face, her violet eyes transfixed by the object and her hands reaching up for him.
Holding his hand out, her eyes followed the screw and when he dropped it down by his side the third Eye flared back into life. The screw stopped it's descent in mid air and drifted into her eager hands, her fingers closing around the cool surface and a contented giggle escaping her mouth.
"Wow," Joey stated after a moment of silence, pretty much summing up all their thoughts right then.
Kiara's eyes clicked to the blond and she held out the screw with another giggle, the Eye flashing briefly and the screw sailing over his head to skitter to a stop some feet behind him.
"Fetch," she gurgled in a childish voice.
Yami blinked before smirking in an attempt not to laugh out loud, taking her out of Seto's arms because he was obviously going to crack up soon. The others were laughing openly and Joey was fuming.
"This is your fault!" he accused, jabbing a finger into Seto's chest.
Seto had the grace to look surprised. "What? How?"
"Ya gave her whatever gene you have that made ya do that!"
Tea stopped laughing first and tried to smooth over the reaction from that comment. "Joey, that's ridiculous! She's just-"
"A lot smarter than either of her parents," Bakura stated with a smirk. He had a feeling he might actually get on with the sprog.
Glaring at Bakura lightly Yami began walking away from the scene, Kiara having lost interest now and starting to fall asleep. There was likely going to be a fist-fight soon and he for one couldn't afford to get caught in the middle of that. Still, he hoped that his expected twin's little statements proved to be as entertaining and impacting as his first born's.
****
Borath: Okay, updates are going to be coming in a lot slower than they have over the last few months because, alas, I am leaving the blissful freedom that I have enjoyed for the last twelve weeks. That's right kids. Borath is being chained to a desk and having coursework being chucked at her. Yay.
But I will endeavor to finish this ficlet rather than abandoning it which I very nearly did the other day when my attempts to write chapter 20 turned out to be abysmal. Excuse crapness in upcoming chapters; I am going to be under a fair amount of strain.
For those of you who were confused at Joey's antics, which would be all of you, this is the list that he and Honda dueled over. I found it a few weeks ago, saw that it had potential and kept it. Using all 15 things would have been unfeasible so I only did 5, but I hope I presented the actions in an amusing way through this chapter and the last.
15
Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/shopping partner/significant other
is taking his/her sweet time:
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples' carts when they
aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3 in
house-wares' and see what happens.
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll only
invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you
people just leave me alone?
9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick
your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows
where the anti-depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from
'Mission Impossible'.
12. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size
funnels.
13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say 'PICK ME! PICK
ME!!!!!!'
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position
and scream NO! NO! It's those voices again'.
15. Go into a fitting room and yell really loudly 'Hey! We're out of toilet
paper in here!'.
Yami: Keep reviewing and making her happy so she doesn't do anything else sadistic to me.
Bakura: Or keep reviewing and encouraging her to torment the little sap as much as possible before the end of this story.
Yami: Asshole.
Bakura: Fern head.
Borath: Thanks to Saria-The-Green-Haired for the 'Fetch' idea! I had to re-load this chapter to add that you know!