Borath: I started collage today.. O_O pretty much explains that. Spending the afternoon 'bonding' with my new tutor group is *not* a step up from spending my afternoons writing and reading fanfic. This new development in my life (education. Ick) means that writing is going to take a little bit of a back-seat in terms of what I spend my time doing. I *will* keep writing; make no mistake about that. I just won't be updating every week. More like once a fortnight or when I can manage.

Yami: Right, this bit of news should be bad for some of you and great for others, namely me.

Bakura: Borath is losing steam with this fic!

Yami: But, damn-it-all, it's not being abandoned. The plot is just going to be hurried along at a brisker pace and less irrelevant stuff is going to be popping up.

Bakura: The only reason this chapter exists, well, most of it anyway, is because it was pre-promised so it had to be included.

Yami: GQ&TS should finish with less than 30 chapters. (Eyes bug) And that's cut short?!

Bakura:(Ignoring Yami) The plot has already been decided so no more suggestions. Just praise. And Yami bashing.

Borath: I *dare* anyone to do that and leave their e-mail address. You wanna bitch about *my* Yami you can mess with something that will also be the last thing you ever see.

Yami: (Whispering) Borath is in a bad mood. She's seen her homework timetable and has the one art teacher that she despises for the next 2 years.

Bakura:(Imploringly) Can I trade this job for what's behind door number 2?

Yami: Oh! You remember that vote ages ago about who was going to get dunked in the ever-so-famous cursed spring next? Finally the votes are counted and the result is here!

Borath: I didn't forget!!! Yay!

Bakura: (Quirking an eyebrow) Um, 'yay'?

Chapter 20: Shoved

YVO

//I'm dying *and* my life officially sucks at the moment. Stupid fucking Seto is pulling the mother-hen routine and won't leave me alone and Yugi keeps trying to force-feed me. I really would like one night of uninterrupted sleep and Kiara's telekinetic powers are becoming a handful. At least I *think* that her heritage is only enabling her telekinesis rather than mind-control and access to the Shadow Realm. I suppose that if I come into her room and see her playing with a Kuribo I'll know.

So far all her energy is directed at turning small objects into projectiles, with most of their targets' being Joey much to my amusement. The poor teen has stopped coming by now when he knows she's awake lest he receive another videotape to the head.

As for her soon-to-be siblings, I'm in the mindset that they hate me, this extrapolated from the way in which they seem to delight in trying to break my ribs and kick the hell out of my intestines. At four months they're already tight-pressed for room and I'm phoning to see if the damned-fountain is in working order twice a day. My waist is *not* going to be able to take this abuse for much longer; I already feel ready to explode.

My hormones are finally starting to either become inactive or die because I'm not as temperamental as I used to be. I don't cry over puppies anymore, something that I threatened Honda over when he caught me in floods of tears over a frolicking Labrador on the television. I think it went something along the lines of removing his eyeballs with a spoon, feeding them to him and then pouring a salt and iodine mixture into the empty sockets.

At least I am still retaining my creative streak.//

****

"Are you dying again Pharaoh? Can I watch?"

Glaring through the cold pack that covered his eyes, Yami settled for making a two-fingered gesture with his right hand at the Tomb Raider rather than getting up from where he was sprawled across the arms of a chair. His head was pounding again and the fact that two small children were currently bouncing around his gut meant that he couldn't take anything to relieve the pain.

Relieving the pain that was Bakura would have helped ease him significantly though. If only his spine wasn't finally in a position where it didn't ache...

"That was a very rude gesture. Trying to corrupt your spawn already?"

//Why is he here again? Oh yes, Yugi invited Ryou over whilst Seto was at work and the bastard had to pop out and say 'hi'. By Ra what a day I'm having.//

"Aibou? Do me a favor and duct-tape his mouth? Or throw him out of the house entirely; I don't mind," he asked finally when his tether evaporated.

"Aw, not quite feeling up to the exertion? Poor Little Pharaoh," Bakura drawled, thoroughly enjoying himself.

"Tomb Raider..." A warning growl.

Bakura gasped melodramatically and covered his mouth with his hand. "Oh help Yugi! He's going to *scold* me!"

Eye of Horus flashing Yami tore off the cold-pack and flung it at Bakura who caught it easily. Turning his eyes on Yugi who had just entered the room, he didn't even try to soften his expression. "Yugi, *please* get rid of him."

To Yami's surprise and dismay his Hikari grinned in a way that could only be described as evil. "Why?"

Crimson eyes narrowed to thin slits before a considering smirk smoothed his lips. //So Yugi thinks he can pull of Darkness better than I can?// "Because if you don't I'll transform us into Yugioh which means we'll be sharing a body. And a pregnancy."

Point taken. "Bakura, I really think it's time you should go."

"I don't want to."

"Well you're going to," Yami snarled making it apparent that those hormones were still a *little* bit active.

Bakura had his mouth open in preparation to make what was likely going to be a scathing and profanity-laden remark when the phone rang. Yami's eyes widened to the size of saucers with anticipation and he leapt up from the chair, bolting past Bakura and grabbing for the phone.

"Yami? It's Seto. The fountain's fixed."

That little statement brought much joy and happiness to the heart of the Game King. Grinning like an idiot, he hung up knowing that Seto was likely on the way home and strode to the door. Yugi put two and two together and followed at his heels, Bakura, simply curious, tailed the two out because he had nothing better to do.

****

Ten minutes later and still standing outside the house with absolutely no sign of Seto Yami was prepared to kill something sweet and innocent in a most viciously violent manner. Bakura picked up on this feeling from the other spirit and had taken up a protective spot on the other side of Yugi to the Game King, keeping his mouth shut despite the temptation otherwise.

Hearing the phone ring, Yugi hastily sprinted inside to answer it leaving the audibly-teeth-grinding Millennium Puzzle spirit alone with the immensely-amused Ring spirit. Obviously it was a rather tense situation. It got down-right volatile when Yugi returned though.

"*What?!*"

Taking a good step away from his yami, Yugi swallowed heavily and considered quoting the 'don't shoot the messenger' phrase before he had his head ripped off. "He's stuck in traffic. Something about a pile-up then he started swearing again. Anyway, he's called Joey to drive us over."

Bakura's brow rose into his hairline at that. "He is trusting that moron with our lives?" he asked incredulously. Funnily enough, the look Yami was giving the smaller boy matched the Tomb Raider's expression perfectly.

"It'll be fine! Look, wait here and I'll fetch Kiara. We don't know how long this'll take so we can't really leave her here," Yugi explained before disappearing back into the house. Yami got the strong feeling that his Hikari was just avoiding his presence rather than thinking of his daughter's well-being.

Two minutes later there was a screech of tires as Joey made a painful hand-brake-assisted stop infront of them and all three would-be passengers gave an audible groan. The fourth was screaming in protest, but after being thumped by Yami Bakura stopped.

By some miracle the group made it to fountain alive *and*, as an added bonus, in *one* piece. Pale and shakey Yami emerged from the car-of-death as fast as his 'condition' allowed before making a beeline for the correct fountain. Also eager to put as much distance between themselves and the vehicle Bakura and Yugi, still carrying Kiara, hurried to follow. Joey wandered along behind them wondering what all the fuss was about.

Nearing the water's edge Yami smiled with anticipation before putting one booted-foot into the cool liquid. The area was deserted so he wasn't getting any funny looks from tourists this time which was a blessing. He was about to step in the water fully when he heard a glass-shattering scream from behind.

Snapping his head round at the sound he was despaired to see Kiara bawling her head off and Joey taking many hasty steps backwards away from her. Apparently Yugi had attempted to hand her over to the blond teen when she didn't want to go. The screams were the result.

Counting to ten mentally, Yami half walked half squelched over to the pair to calm Kiara down before she broke someone's ear-drums. Kiara seemed quite intent on solving her own problems her own way though.

Eye of Horus glowing menacingly, the stopped crying and screaming long enough to scowl at Joey in a way that made her father quite proud. Joey suddenly found himself in midair flying towards the cursed-spring, a bloodcurdling scream emphasizing just what he thought of *that* idea.

Landing with an enormous splash, there was a flurry of bubbles before Joey crawled out in the body he would have had if one of his chromosomes had had an extra leg at his conception. Add to that the fact that she had a bruise the size of a grapefruit on her face and looked pretty pissed off, it was little wonder why Bakura was on his knees clutching at his sides in fits of laughter. Yami was having to bite the inside of his cheek to keep a straight face too.

Taking some measure of pity on the newly-formed girl, the Game King strode towards her and placed a hand in the center of her chest. Mumbling under his breath with his own third Eye glowing, he stepped back looking triumphant and crossed his arms across his chest.

"What did ya just do?" Joey gritted out, frowning through a thick mess of sopping brown hair and clutching her jacket tighter around her chest.

"I ensured that the curse will wear off in about a month rather than last you a lifetime. I've lived with that magical effect for quite a while and have figured out how to manipulate it to some degree with my own magic," Yami replied with a smirk looking quite pleased with himself.

"I owe ya."

"Yes you do. I'll call you for it too."

"Your kid is almost as bad as you are."

"Yes, but she'll be more equal to me when she's older."

It was Bakura who interrupted the admittedly peculiar conversation. "Hey Pharaoh? You going to be getting hips any time soon? I'm getting pissed with your company now, and the bitch's."

"Hey!"

"No-one asked you to come," Yami shouted back.

A grin. "And miss you going girl-power? Not bloody likely!"

Shaking his head slightly and rolling his eyes, Yami decided that he had better make the transformation now before they started trying to sort Joey out. The poor kid had slipped into a mix of anger and depression already, Yugi leading her back to the car to dig out a blanket to keep her warm.

Turning back to the spring Yami stepped into it fully and stared down expectantly. Nothing happened. Figuring that he needed to be fully submerged for the switch to actually take place he slowly eased himself down to his knees before taking a breath and lying backwards.

Staring at the blurry sky through the water Yami waited, breaking the surface again when the need to breathe pressed at his chest and throat. Glancing down at himself he was surprised to find that he was still male. No bubbles. No mystical-glowy transformations. Squat.

Glancing up he jumped slightly to see Bakura towering over him, his hands stuffed into his pockets and his lips pursed in contemplation. "Kinda butch this time, aren't ya?"

Yami leant back on his hands in the water and glared up at him. "That's because nothing's happened nimrod."

"Nimrod?"

"Look, just help me up. Something's wrong here so I need to go interrogate a worker here."

"Can I watch you hit him? Or even better; can I hit him?"

"I'm not going to hit anyone. I'm only going to ask what's different."

'You really are crap at going about getting information."

"Shut up."

"Hmm, that's a change. Usually you just tell me to 'fuck off'."

"That's because you still haven't helped me up."

"Do I have to?"

"Yes. Or I'll pull you in here and you can see what it's like to have hormones."

"Snippy today? Spawn kicking again?"

"As a matter of fact they are. Now help me up."

"It's funny this."

"What?"

"You asking for help."

"I'm desperate. I wouldn't even consider it otherwise."

"Whatever."

"So are you going to be helping or what?"

"Or what."

"I will pull you in."

"I would love to see you tr-oh shit!"

"Damnit! Why do you wear trainers anyway?"

"Comfort. Can I have my shoe back now?"

"You help me to stand and then I'll give you your shoe back."

"No."

"Damnit. Yugi!"

****

Yami: What exactly happened to your writing at the end there?

Borath: It dissolved, didn't it? It's a fantastic new style. Honest. Really effective. Readers love it. The minimal-effort on my part had absolutely nothing to do with why I did it.

Bakura: Yeah right. So the fact that you had to go back to school after three months didn't lead to this, 'dissolving'?

(There is a large nuclear explosion and Bakura dies. Pissed-off fangirls suddenly appear with various weapons and threats. Borath looks scared.)

Borath: (Nervously with wide eyes and a shield)*That* Bakura was just a clone. The original Hell-Child is safe and sound. Honest.

Yami: (Laughs)

Borath: Right. I'll give you an honest pre-warning; there might not be an update next Friday. Usually I have the next chapter half-way through by now but as of yet I have yet to start it so, erm, this does not bode well for updating. Sorry. I will try!!! I have two insanity fics up now so if you get desperate read those!