The doorbell rang, followed by a series of sharp raps on the door. Faith put down her magazine and opened the door. A man and a woman, both decked out in khaki, stood outside.
"Can I help you?" Faith asked.
"Is this the home of a Mr Fred Yokas?" the man asked, his voice had a heavy Australian accent.
Faith nodded and turned around. "Fred! There's some people here to see you and one of them looks like that guy off the tv! You know, the one with the really tight shorts?"
The man in the doorway adjusted his really tight shorts. They kept riding up his crotch. Fred walked down the hall and the man gasped, "By crikey! He's a big one!"
Fred scrunched up his face and examined the folks at the door. The man put a hand on Faith's shoulder. "My name's Steve Irwin and this here's my wife Terri. Don't you worry ma'am, we'll have the problem taken care of in no time!"
Faith opened her mouth to say something but then closed it again and stepped aside. Steve and Terri walked in, followed by several men with video cameras.
"Stay back ma'am, these creatures can very unpredictable!" Steve said and motioned for Faith to stand against the wall.
Fred hitched up his boxer shorts and stared at Steve. Steve turned to face a camera. "What we have 'ere folks is most commonly referred to as the deadbeat or jerkwad husband. Now this big fella is one of the largest members of the species that I've ever had the pleasure of dealing with!"
Terri stepped forward and pushed her husband aside. "These are a relatively common species, they can be found all over the world. Fortunately they can easily be rid of, if you know what you're doing."
Steve approached Fred slowly. "It's alright mate, I'm not gonna hurt you." One of the cameras carefully tracked Steve's movement.
Steve grabbed ahold of Fred's arm. "The secret to dealing with the jerkwad husband is you've got to get them down on the floor and then tie a top jaw rope around them."
Before Fred had a chance to react, Steve flipped him onto the floor and was laying on top of him. "Terri! Hand me the rope!"
Fred struggled violently, trying to shake Steve off. The camera zoomed in on Steve's butt. "He's going into a death roll! Terri, get on his legs!"
Terri jumped onto Fred's legs, at the same time handing a rope to her husband. "I'm important not to stress him too much." Steve said, as he put the rope into Fred's mouth and tied it around his face. "You!" he said addressing Faith. "We need a blindfold!"
Faith threw Steve a scarf that she's found conveniently laying by the door. "You're alright mate, you're alright." Steve said soothingly as he tied the scarf around Fred's face.
"Now Terri, get off the legs. Slowly. That's a girl, now grab ahold of his ankles." Terri wrapped her hands around Fred's ankles.
Steve shifted himself until he was off Fred. The camera zoomed in on his butt again. "Now that he's been properly restrained and sedated, it's time to move him." Steve stood up and took Fred's hands. Fred growled.
Steve and Terri hoisted Fred up and carried him out the door. The camera crew followed and Steve babbled away.
Faith poked her head out the door and watched them load Fred into the elevator. She shrugged. "Well that was bizarre." she muttered to herself, then shut the door. Faith wandered back over to the couch and picked up her magazine again.