Title: Through it
All
Author: Secret Agent Girl (SAG)
'Ship: I'm sorry, do you not know me? PLEASE! S/V!!
Rating: Eh... We'll go with PG-13
A/N: I don't own the movies listed. I just have this crazy obsession with Hitchcock and Gene Kelly, it's a sickness I tell ya… a sickness! ::geek::
Ch 3 – Everything Changes
She wandered into the warehouse, absent mindedly humming to herself the last part of the movie she had been watching at home. Her feelings had been pinpointing every different spot on the spectrum when she had heard his voice, her entire being unsure of what it could mean.
"Joey's Pizza?"
Her heart had stopped for a moment. She hadn't expected him to call her. It was 10 at night and she expected to be home, home with… her entire being shuddered at the thought and pushed all thoughts into the recesses of her mind
"Wrong number."
She kept moving into the depths of the warehouse, expecting him to be sitting there waiting.
When she entered the room, closing the chain link fence behind her, she was surprised to be alone. That's when she remembered that there hadn't been another car outside.
She sat down on a crate, waiting patiently, thinking about the movie she had been watching and humming the words again. "I'm singing in the rain, just singing in the rain… what a glorious feeling, I'm happy again…" She was just contemplating on what to do when she got home, (coffee or chocolate?) when she heard footsteps approaching the cage. She turned her head and found a pair of green eyes smiling at her.
"Hey." He called as he closed the gate behind him.
"Hi. I didn't expect you to call."
"Why? You have a mission tomorrow." He took a step back, shock playing across his face. Has she not expected him to call for a countermission?
"Its just late is all. I expected you to be home, you know, resting." She carefully avoided the subject of who would be there with him; it was too hard to think of that, it hurt just too much.
"Oh, sorry, is this too late? I just thought…"
"No! No!" She cut him off. "It's fine. I was just watching an old video by myself. Francie and Will are at the restaurant."
"Right, good." He nodded. "So your countermission…" He went straight into handler-mode detailing out everything that was of importance, bringing out the appropriate op-tech.
When they had finished, she began to rise from her seat and prepared to leave when he suddenly asked her, "So, what movie were you watching?" He didn't want her to leave yet, he knew there was something she wasn't telling him, something that she was compartmentalizing and pushing into the depths of her mind.
"Oh, "Singing in the Rain". Will picked it up at the video store along with "North by Northwest" and "Rear Window", but I wasn't in the mood to watch anything remotely resembling my life… at all." She smiled dryly.. He nodded as she talked and let out a light laugh as she ended.
"Can't blame you."
"Well, I better go. I was just about to get to the "Umbrella Dance" part." She smiled at him again, this time fully, her dimples creating craters in her cheeks.
"Yeah, it's a good movie."
"You've seen it?"
"Oh, yeah. My mom used to watch it all the time when I was a kid. So I caught it on the TV all the time. She used to sing the songs all the time. Especially "Good Morning, Good Morning". She sung that one every time she came to wake me up for school." Sydney smiled as she imagined a younger Vaughn being woken up by a beautiful blond haired, green-eyed woman.
"Hmm. That's one of my favorite songs. My nanny used to sing it sometimes while she made breakfast." Her mind wandered back to those days and her smile grew wide. "I should probably get going. I'm sure you've got to get going too."
"Yeah. It's been a long day."
"Hmm." She wanted to say something to seem as though the other night hadn't bothered her, hadn't completely destroyed her. "Did, ah, did you and Alice have a nice time at Francie's?"
He stopped suddenly in the middle of repacking his briefcase. "Oh, ah, yeah. It was a really nice place."
"Yeah, well, she had Will cleaning like mad the other day so it should have been nice." She laughed thinking back to when Francie had started freaking out over the Zaggat's reviewer coming to town.
Vaughn began to slowly repack his brief case again. His every action carefully calculated, each piece being placed in his case with an obsessively careful hand. He had been uncomfortable the other night when he and Alice had run into Sydney at the restaurant and a pang of jealousy had surged through his body when he noticed that Sydney had been there with Will. He was now regaining that feeling of uncertainty as Sydney mentioned Alice. Having his two worlds collide like they had, had almost been too much. He really didn't even know why he was back with Alice. The only reason he could give himself was that Alice was someone he could have. Sydney wasn't. She was the unobtainable. "Well, you can tell him the place sparkled." He smiled weakly.
"Yeah, I will. Thanks again for giving him the job."
"No problem."
"He still thinks he's comparing the questions. I didn't tell him what it really was. I don't think I could take talking to him about just how screwed up my family is. There's really no one who I talk to about that stuff." Her smile faded, as she mentally slapped herself for speaking that final thought out loud. Though she had tried as hard as she could to show that it hadn't, the other night had completely changed things for them. He was no longer that person she could call at any time, just to talk. He had another person in his life now, she silently reminded herself.
"You have my number." He reminded her gently. She smiled weakly and knew that she would never be able to call him in the middle of the night to talk to him about her family now that she knew Alice could be there with him, that Alice could be the one to answer her phone call.
"Hmm." She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. 'The last thing you need is for me to be bothering you at all hours of the night to listen to my decrepit life. And Alice doesn't need me waking her up either.' She thought silently as she stood and smoothed out the invisible wrinkles in her jacket. "Thanks." She didn't want to pull away from him but she knew that she had to. She had to distance herself from it all, for her own feelings' sake. If she ever called and Alice answered, she didn't think she would be able to handle it. She rose from her seat and without saying 'goodbye', walked to her car.
She entered her house 15 minutes later and collapsed on her couch. She was running on empty, her energy level shot. She decided against both coffee and chocolate and instead opted for her softest pajamas and laid back on the couch, starting the movie over again as she replayed everything that had happened in the last week.
Her mission went off without a hitch and she had copies of the documents and was only waiting to give them to Vaughn. She hadn't spoken to her mother since requesting for the antidote and she had spoken to her father only at SD-6 about SD-6 matters, usually during briefings with Sloane.
She had been getting ready for bed when the phone rang, two days after her mission. She picked up the receiver and answered with an emotionless tone. "Hello?"
"Joey's Pizza?"
"Wrong number." She spoke in a slightly agitated tone as she placed the phone back on the hook. She didn't want to go see him now. She had just gotten into her pajamas. She had finally thrown him from her mind. Without bothering to change, she slipped on her sneakers and grabbed her keys, thanking God that both Francie and Will were working again.
She drove to the warehouse and walked in to find Vaughn waiting for her. Her voice was barely above a whisper and full of weakness and there was a hint of desperation in it when she spoke, and she hated it. "Hi."
"Hey, are you ok?" He was worried about her, more than he should be and he knew it.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"Really? You don't sound fine." His forehead creased in response as he flew past her flimsy reply/
"No, I am. A little tired maybe but that's about it." She was controlling herself wonderfully, her mind set on the fact that she was there to give him the documents. She would not cry. "Here. These are what I got." She handed him the papers, all business.
"Thanks. You know your dad asked me to talk to you."
"Why?" Her head shot up as she prayed it was about nothing. She couldn't handle that conversation, not now.
"He was worried. Said you seem more detached lately, with everyone, not just him. He asked me if you had talked to me about anything that hinted at something bothering you and I realized you and I hadn't talked about basically anything lately."
"I'm fine. Just been busy,"
"You can always call me, you know."
"No. I can't." Vaughn was taken back by her strange remark. She had never been unable to talk to him about…well…anything, before.
"Of course you can." He reasoned, not bothering to hide the shock and slight hurt that he felt in her reply.
"No. I really can't. You don't need me bothering you all the time. You have a life and a … a girlfriend and you don't need me making life hard and complicated." She paused for a moment, surprised by her own statement. She had to get out of there before she broke down. "I should go."
"You've never complicated my life, Sydney." He rushed out as she began to turn.
"Yes I have. I've almost killed you several times. The last thing you need is for me to make matters worse. Don't worry, I'm fine. But I should go, Francie will be home soon and I think she'll find it strange if I walk in late in my pjs and sneakers."
"OK." He couldn't say anything more. He wanted so badly to hold her and tell her how he felt but his own conscious held him back, his own damn loyalty to his job holding him back. He watched as she slowly began to walk away, her shoulder's hunched and her arms crossed over her chest protectively. His heart broke as he watched her and the moment he opened his mouth, the rule book had been thrown out the window, had a Mexican hat dance performed upon it and lit on fire. "Wait! You are not fine. I know you're not fine."
"Yes, I am." Tears began to well in her eyes and she pulled her arms closer around her as she began to walk again.
"Then why are you about to cry?" He walked towards her and she turned away even more. "Syd? Syd, what is it?" He was getting scared.
"It's nothing, really." She tried to run from him but he grabbed her arm and turned her body towards his, tears forming thin streams down her face.
"Oh, Syd…" He turned her fully to him and held her tightly. Her body shook as she sobbed into his chest, all of the pain and frustration of the past few days coming out with each tear that fell.
It took her a moment, but when she realized what she was doing, Sydney quickly backed away from Vaughn and began to wipe her eyes. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that."
"Done what? Cried?" She nodded slowly. "Hey, I told you, you could cry all you wanted when I got better." He smiled and held his arms out and shrugged. "I'm fine now. All better."
She gave a small laugh and smiled. "I know, but I still shouldn't have let you hold me like that."
"Why?" He didn't understand. Just weeks ago, they had done the same thing when she had walked in, drenched, after talking to her father.
"Because. If some girl had done that with Danny, I don't think I would have been very understanding." He finally understood why she had been acting so strangely, why she hadn't called him when she obviously needed someone. It was all coming together and he felt like hitting himself for not realizing it sooner.
"Alice can mind her own business. If you need to talk to someone, about anything, you call me, ok? I mean it Sydney. You are way too important to have a nervous break down." He held her shoulders and looked into her eyes as he spoke.
"I know. I know. The CIA needs me to bring down SD-6."
"No. Not the CIA. I mean, yes, you are important to them, but I mean, me. You are way too important to me. I care about you too damn much to have you break down." He looked at her and smiled.
She returned his smile and began to feel better, all the jealousy she had, slowly dripping away. He cared about her. Those words rand through her head as she looked at his soft smile. "Thank you." Her voice was barely a whisper, but she knew he had heard her, deep down she knew.
His hands moved from her shoulders to her back and brought her body forward, embracing her once again. "Anytime." He slowly moved his arms up and down her back as a few small tears slid from her eyes.
They stood there for a moment, neither one moving, until she finally backed away enough to look into his eyes. They sparkled back at her. She was about to open her mouth to tell him she had to go, when she felt him lean in and kiss her.
Sydney stayed tense for only a moment before relaxing against him, melting into his touch. Neither could believe what was happening. Slowly they broke apart and looked at each other, both of their eyes sparkling.
"Wow. Wow." Sydney looked down at the floor, quickly obverting her eyes from his, a smile trying to creep across her face.
"I…I…" He didn't know what to say. He had imagined kissing her over and over again but he had never expected it to be that good.
"Oh my God! Oh my God! I shouldn't have, I shouldn't have… OH. MY. GOD. Vaughn, you have to go. You have to go right now." Panic broke into her voice and his head shot up with the urgency in her voice.
"What? Why?"
"Vaughn, you have a girlfriend! Oh my God, oh my God."
"Oh my God." He mentally slapped himself for throwing something that was supposed to have meant the world to him out the window so quickly. "No, wait, not oh my God. I don't care."
"What!?" She could have exploded! He didn't care? Wait! What didn't he care about? Alice? Or her?
"I don't care if I have a girlfriend." Sydney let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding as he smiled at her.
"Vaughn, yes you do. You obviously love her. I could see it the other day. You wouldn't be with her again if you didn't." Sydney turned away from him and tried to walk towards the door, wanting to put this behind her. She didn't want to be "the other girl". She hated women like that and she refused to become one.
She only got two steps before he grabbed her wrist. "I am begging you not to leave before I tell you what I want to tell you." She turned her body to face him, avoiding his gaze by staring intently at her shoes.
"You, you don't have to say anything. I don't, I don't…" She took a breath collecting herself. "I really have to go before Francie gets back and I just think it would be better if we just walk away." Tears began to form in her eyes and she needed to get out of there before they fell. Tears to her were a sign of weakness and she had already shown enough of that for one night.
"No. I refuse to let you walk away before I tell you this." He took a deep breath and closed his eyes briefly. When he opened them back up he forced her chin up to meet his gaze. "I got back together with Alice for reasons that I am not very proud of. She and I got back together because I was lonely. It was after I had seen you rush to Will's side after he had been hypnotized. I saw you rush to him and I saw the way you looked at him and I realized as long as SD-6 was still around I could never be that guy who's side you would rush too. I realized as long as SD-6 existed, you were unobtainable and after that I called Alice. We've barely seen each other more than a few times since I called her and the other night at the restaurant was the first time we had gone out since calling her. But that night was the night I realized something. Alice wasn't the person I wanted to be out with. Alice is not the person I love." He paused for a moment gathering his courage, choosing his words carefully. "You are the one I love."
Sydney's eyes widened at his confession. She couldn't breathe. Her insides tingled and it was a good 20 seconds before she realized that she hadn't said anything. Vaughn lowered his head, his hand dropping from her wrist and he spoke before she could open her mouth. "Wow. I just realized how incredibly stupid that was of me. I shouldn't have said anything. Syd, I'm so sorry…"
"Vaughn!"
She cut him off sharply. "You gonna shut up long enough for me to tell you I
love you? Or do you really feel the need to keep on rambling?"
He looked into her eyes and saw the love beaming from them, her face spreading a deep smile across it, dimples and all. He couldn't help but smile. "Really?"
"Really. I've been in this huge wave of jealousy since I say you two together at Francie's. Even Will noticed my feelings that night, that's why he got me out of there as soon as possible." She smiled at the thought of Will protecting her from the pain she felt when Vaughn had walked in with Alice.
"We are the two stupidest people on Earth, you know that?" She gave him a questioning look. "I've been jealous since I saw you out with Will that night." He chuckled causing her to smile and laugh.
Before she could remark, he leaned passed her and grabbed her cell phone that was sticking out of her purse. "Leave a message at home for Francie. Your dad called and asked you to help him with something. You're gonna be home late." He smiled fully as he handed her the phone.
She took the phone and was surprised to see him grab his. "Alice is at her place." He told her answering her unspoken question. "I just need to tell her I don't want to see her anymore." He smiled and leaned into kiss Sydney once more before turning around and dialing Alice's home.
The rest of the night became a blur to the two of them. They spent hours just talking, learning everything they could about each other. When Sydney finally realized she had to go around 12:30 she stood and gathered her things. "I swear, SD-6 is going down so fast. And the second they fall, I expect to find you outside the building, arms open. Waiting."
"I'll wait forever." He stood now and grabbed her, pulling her into a kiss. "Until the world comes crashing down, I will wait for you." He looked deeply into her eyes. "I love you, Sydney." He called after her retreating back as she began to walk away.
She paused, mid step, and looked over her shoulder. "I love you too… Michael." She turned and walked out of the warehouse, leaving a smiling Vaughn standing there, unmoved, pondering over the fact that she had finally called him Michael.