No marriages, it's the marriage COUNSELOR!!!! And Nakkie makes such a kawaiiiiiii kid!!!!
Still own nothing
*Tomo: HEY!!!!!!!!!!!*
*Tomo: You, my dear marriage counselor, have not given my husband and I the meeting you promised!*
Amiboshi: *cracks up*
*Nakago: *whimpers* Please, don't me face him, please don't make me face him, he's made me sleep on the couch for the past week!*
*Nakago: As in, he MADE ME SLEEP ALONE! I WAS LONELY!*
Amiboshi: Ohhhh
*Tomo: *coughs* You deserve it*
Shouka: Now, let's settle.......
Shouka: *coughs* *puts glasses on* *picks up notepad*
Shouka: Amiboshi, watch them while I do this
Shouka: They may try to hurt each other
Amiboshi: Ok
Shouka: Alright, let's jump right into this.......what is the problem?
*Tomo: WELL, he has the nerve to tell me that he got rid of all his whips, when really they're in storage!*
Amiboshi: Bad Nakkie!
*Nakago: Hey! He's been making me sleep on the couch! That must be some sort of spouse abuse!*
Shouka: *cough* Not really.
Amiboshi: Heeee
Shouka: All right, let's focus.... so Tomo, you are upset that your husband still uses his whips, are you?
*Tomo: Well, I don't know if he actually uses them or not - it's the fact that he LIED to me! About weapons! What if he's out there torturing innocent little squirrels or something?!*
Amiboshi: *tries to restrain himself*
*Nakago: Let me remind you that YOU once tortured for pleasure too, MY DEAR!*
Shouka: *pats Amiboshi on the head* There now, we don't need you to be upset too.
Shouka: Let's be reasonable, gentlemen...Nakago, are you willing to give up those whips?
*Nakago: *squirms* I don't know....they're kind of, erm, special to me.....*
*Tomo: *glares*
Amiboshi: Your love or your whips?
*Nakago: *panics* You're all ganging up on me! This isn't right - it's not justice! And I - I really do love those whips!*
*Tomo: Oh and I'm sure it's justice when you hit poor little tree rodents with those whips, eh?!*
*Nakago: I never whipped any squirrels!*
Amiboshi: Tomo, calm DOWN!!!
*Tomo: *humphs* Sure you didn't!!!*
Shouka: *pats both on the head* please, calm down!
Shouka: Nakago, have you ever hit anything or used your whips? Or have they just been in storage?
*Nakago: No, I haven't done anything with them!*
Shouka: So why are you upset, Tomo?
*Tomo: He lied to me!*
Shouka: Ah, I see..........
Amiboshi: Trust issues
Shouka: *nods* Nakago, I think it would be best if you apologized and explained why you what you did. Amiboshi is right - it's all about trust.
Amiboshi: Right on!
*Nakago: I'm sorry.....I love you, I really do. It's just, I like to still think of myself as "big bad boy Nakago", you know, the rough-and-tumble leader, and those whips kind of give me that feeling.....I was afraid that if I told you that I still had them, you'd get angry! I'm sorry......*
*Tomo: That's - that's alright, I guess.....but you're going to have to show me that I can trust you again!*
*Nakago: How?*
*Tomo: You can sleep in the bed tonight....but can I trust you to not kiss me or touch me at all?*
*Nakago: *groans* That's hard!*
*Tomo: I suppose....*
*Nakago: Alright, alright......but only for one night, okay?*
*Tomo: TWO*
*Nakago: winces*
Shouka: Good
Shouka: An agreement has been reached
Shouka: But what is to happen with the whips
*Nakago: stares*
Amiboshi: Throw them OUT!!!
*Tomo: *stares*
Shouka: What was that you said, Amiboshi? You have an idea of what to do with the whips?
*Tomo: I want him to throw them out, special or not1*
*Nakago: I really want to keep those!*
Amiboshi: tie a rock to them
Amiboshi: and throw em in a lake
*Tomo: What would you use them for, anyways?*
*Nakago: I'm sure....erm...that I - we - could think of something*
Shouka: If you're suggesting kink, then that's too much information
*Tomo: *mental sigh* Fine, keep one
*Tomo: As a memento*
*Tomo: But throw the others away, okay?*
*Nakago: Fine...*
Amiboshi: an agreement!!!
Amiboshi: YES!!
Shouka: *claps hands together* Alright! Tomo, Amiboshi, Nakago, any last words on the meeting?
Shouka: Anything else that you'd like to suggest that might improve the relationship?
Amiboshi: no comment
*Nakago: *clears throat* Yes. I think that Amiboshi is lying! He really wants to comment on us! Say something, boy!*
Shouka: Yes, please do *stares*
*Tomo: Yeah, give a comment or three. Go on! *nudges Ami with his foot*
*Nakago: You don't think that we're.... WeIrD or anything, do you?!*
Amiboshi: Nakago, listen
Amiboshi: When you wanted me to go to Konan.....
Amiboshi: You said you'd kill Shun if I didn't
*Nakago: *shrugs uncomfortably*
Amiboshi: Well....
*Nakago: *stutters* I'm.......sorry??*
*Tomo: *whacks Nakago upside the head* You idiot!*
*Nakago: Hey, I was evil back then, remember!*
*Tomo: *mutters* Make that three nights......*
*Nakago: NO!*
Amiboshi: Well, I mean, you apologize, and regret it, and you know
*Nakago: I'm sorry to YOU, I'm sorry to AMIBOSHI, I'm sorry to TAMAHOME AND HOTOHORI AND NURIKO AND ANYONE ELSE I HURT DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY!!!!!!!!! *sobs*
*Tomo: *huggles Nakago* There, let it all out...*
Amiboshi: GOMEN NASAI!!!!!!
*Nakago: thasokay....*sniffles*
*Nakago: I want my MOMMY!*
*Nakago: AND MY DADDY!*
Amiboshi: They're dead
Amiboshi: Just like mine
*Nakago *sobs*
*Nakago: I hate killing!!!!!!!!!*
Amiboshi: Woah!
*Nakago: *wails* *clings to Tomo* *runs away*
*Nakago: *clutches Amiboshi* TEACH ME how to be nonviolent!!!!!!!!! *whimpers* I don't like people who kill! I don't like me!!!!!!*
*Tomo: Now, don't say you hate yourself....*
*Nakago: But I do!*
Amiboshi: Okay, I will teach you to be a pacifist. But I have to go
*Nakago: *sniffles* Don't leave! I want my daddy! And mommy! And I want that nasty man to get away!!*
Amiboshi: *eyes widen*
*Tomo: *eyes go round* He's having flashbacks.....*leads him away* See ya......*holds Nakago* Poor thing. I hope he gets better......*
Amiboshi: Ok
Amiboshi: *waves slowly*
*Nakago: Get him away!!!!!!!! make him STOP!!!!!!!*
*Tomo: *whispers: See ya*
*Nakago: Mommy! Why aren't you paying attention to me?!*
Shouka: *coughs* I am NOT your mother
Shouka: Blonde, yes
Shouka: your mother, no
*Nakago: You're not? Then........you must be! *clings wildly to Amiboshi*
*Nakago: *clings desperately to Amiboshi* Mommy, can I have a cookie? Pretty please with sugar on top?*
Amiboshi: *gives him cookie* what the heck
*Nakago: *munches slowly* Thank you, Mommy! Can I go torture birds now, mommy?*
*Nakago: Or is that too mean? I remember you told me not to be mean........*
Amiboshi: Right
Amiboshi: That's mean
Amiboshi: Don't do that
*Nakago: *blinks* Okay*
*Nakago: Whatever you say Mommy*
Amiboshi: And remember:
Amiboshi: In Alaska it's illegal to give alcohol to a moose
*Nakago: *giggles* Okay*
Amiboshi: Dumb Laws in Alaska (I was looking at site, the address, if anyone really wants to know, is http://www.dumblaws.com)
*Nakago: I won't give beer to any mooses*
Amiboshi: Good kid
Amiboshi: Have another cookie
*Nakago: *grins* *eats cookie quickly*
*Nakago: *eyes go round* I'm cold, mommy!*
Amiboshi: Wanna blanket?
Amiboshi: Or a coat?
*Nakago: My toes are frozen and my ears are frozen and my nose is frozen..................a blanket??*
Amiboshi: Yeah
Amiboshi: S'warm
Amiboshi: *drapes blanket over Nakago's shoulders*
*Nakago: *shivers* Thank you! *wraps blanket very tightly around himself* *settles himself in Amiboshi's lap*
*Nakago: Bouce me up and down, mommy! Thas fun*
Amiboshi: Ok!
Amiboshi: *does so*
*Nakago: *giggles*
*Nakago: WWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!*
Amiboshi: *grin* It's fun being his mommy!
*Tomo: *sighs in relief* Good. I hoped you wouldn't be upset...he's always like that when he has those flashbacks*
Amiboshi: I'd be happy to take care of him anytime that happens
*Nakago: Mommy, you always take care of me!*
*Tomo: Thank you!!!!!!*
*Nakago: *giggles* Grownups are funny*
Amiboshi: ^_~ No prob! Glad ya like me
Amiboshi: Dumb Laws in California California
Amiboshi: Is much, much worse
Amiboshi: Than Alaska
*Nakago: Those are really funny rules!*
Amiboshi: Glad ya like em! I wanna make sure you have plenty to keep you happy
*Nakago: I can even read, mommy, look! "A-all dog....waste...what does that mean, mommy?....must be.....re - re - remosed?"*
*Nakago: And sunnyshine is garuanteed to all!*
Amiboshi: Removed, honey
Amiboshi: Means ya gotta get rid of it
*Nakago: Oh.....why?*
Amiboshi: Smells bad I guess
*Nakago: *giggles* That's gross, mommy!*
Amiboshi: Right, right
Amiboshi: Now we'll look up Japan!
*Nakago: Japan is a fun place!*
*Nakago: I like it there.*
Amiboshi: Japan doesn't have any stupid laws
*Nakago: *sobs* WHHHHHHHYYYY?? I wanted to practice reading some more!*
*Nakago: *blinks up tearily*
Amiboshi: Dumb Laws in England Try England, honey
Amiboshi: I think robin hood had an impression on them
*Nakago: There are too many big words on that page......what's a "premise"? And a "bale of hay?"
Amiboshi: Bale of hay?
Amiboshi: S'what horses eat, honey
*Nakago: Mommy, what's a horse?*
Amiboshi: Horse? Issa big powerful animal
*Nakago: Someone once said that my hair was like hay...*
Amiboshi: Like a donkey, but bigger
Amiboshi: Oh, honey, they meant your hair was yellow!
Amiboshi: Hay is yellow
*Nakago: *blinks* If horses are so big and powerful, are they the monsters that hide under beds? And - and do they eat little boys?*
Amiboshi: Nononoooo, they're vegetarians
Amiboshi: Like Shouka
*Nakago: Can I be a vegetarian? I don't wanna eat any cute cows!*
Amiboshi: Ok
Amiboshi: But you must never eat meat, all right?
*Nakago: Okay. Yay! Does that mean that I can eat only cookies?*
Amiboshi: Sure, if you want to
*Nakago: YAY! Thank you mommy! *clings to Amiboshi*
Amiboshi: Heehe, cute kid
*Nakago: Hey, Shouka says she's gotta leave and that I should go with her. May I?*
Amiboshi: Ok, go on ahead
Amiboshi: Come back tomorrow though, ok, honey?
*Nakago: Buh bye! I love you, mommy! *kisses on the cheek*
Shouka: *sigh*
Shouka: He's so kawaii
Shouka: Ja ne
Shouka: I'll bring him back to you tomorrow:)
Amiboshi: Ok! You do that *hugs Nakago* Sweet kid
Amiboshi: I'll be looking forward!
*Nakago: *hugs back*
Shouka: See ya!
Amiboshi: Bye!
**To the Tune of Red River Valley*
Come on, R+R, if you love me! Do not hasten to leave, unreviewed. But remember the fic you've been reading, and the author who's sadly insecure
Still own nothing
*Tomo: HEY!!!!!!!!!!!*
*Tomo: You, my dear marriage counselor, have not given my husband and I the meeting you promised!*
Amiboshi: *cracks up*
*Nakago: *whimpers* Please, don't me face him, please don't make me face him, he's made me sleep on the couch for the past week!*
*Nakago: As in, he MADE ME SLEEP ALONE! I WAS LONELY!*
Amiboshi: Ohhhh
*Tomo: *coughs* You deserve it*
Shouka: Now, let's settle.......
Shouka: *coughs* *puts glasses on* *picks up notepad*
Shouka: Amiboshi, watch them while I do this
Shouka: They may try to hurt each other
Amiboshi: Ok
Shouka: Alright, let's jump right into this.......what is the problem?
*Tomo: WELL, he has the nerve to tell me that he got rid of all his whips, when really they're in storage!*
Amiboshi: Bad Nakkie!
*Nakago: Hey! He's been making me sleep on the couch! That must be some sort of spouse abuse!*
Shouka: *cough* Not really.
Amiboshi: Heeee
Shouka: All right, let's focus.... so Tomo, you are upset that your husband still uses his whips, are you?
*Tomo: Well, I don't know if he actually uses them or not - it's the fact that he LIED to me! About weapons! What if he's out there torturing innocent little squirrels or something?!*
Amiboshi: *tries to restrain himself*
*Nakago: Let me remind you that YOU once tortured for pleasure too, MY DEAR!*
Shouka: *pats Amiboshi on the head* There now, we don't need you to be upset too.
Shouka: Let's be reasonable, gentlemen...Nakago, are you willing to give up those whips?
*Nakago: *squirms* I don't know....they're kind of, erm, special to me.....*
*Tomo: *glares*
Amiboshi: Your love or your whips?
*Nakago: *panics* You're all ganging up on me! This isn't right - it's not justice! And I - I really do love those whips!*
*Tomo: Oh and I'm sure it's justice when you hit poor little tree rodents with those whips, eh?!*
*Nakago: I never whipped any squirrels!*
Amiboshi: Tomo, calm DOWN!!!
*Tomo: *humphs* Sure you didn't!!!*
Shouka: *pats both on the head* please, calm down!
Shouka: Nakago, have you ever hit anything or used your whips? Or have they just been in storage?
*Nakago: No, I haven't done anything with them!*
Shouka: So why are you upset, Tomo?
*Tomo: He lied to me!*
Shouka: Ah, I see..........
Amiboshi: Trust issues
Shouka: *nods* Nakago, I think it would be best if you apologized and explained why you what you did. Amiboshi is right - it's all about trust.
Amiboshi: Right on!
*Nakago: I'm sorry.....I love you, I really do. It's just, I like to still think of myself as "big bad boy Nakago", you know, the rough-and-tumble leader, and those whips kind of give me that feeling.....I was afraid that if I told you that I still had them, you'd get angry! I'm sorry......*
*Tomo: That's - that's alright, I guess.....but you're going to have to show me that I can trust you again!*
*Nakago: How?*
*Tomo: You can sleep in the bed tonight....but can I trust you to not kiss me or touch me at all?*
*Nakago: *groans* That's hard!*
*Tomo: I suppose....*
*Nakago: Alright, alright......but only for one night, okay?*
*Tomo: TWO*
*Nakago: winces*
Shouka: Good
Shouka: An agreement has been reached
Shouka: But what is to happen with the whips
*Nakago: stares*
Amiboshi: Throw them OUT!!!
*Tomo: *stares*
Shouka: What was that you said, Amiboshi? You have an idea of what to do with the whips?
*Tomo: I want him to throw them out, special or not1*
*Nakago: I really want to keep those!*
Amiboshi: tie a rock to them
Amiboshi: and throw em in a lake
*Tomo: What would you use them for, anyways?*
*Nakago: I'm sure....erm...that I - we - could think of something*
Shouka: If you're suggesting kink, then that's too much information
*Tomo: *mental sigh* Fine, keep one
*Tomo: As a memento*
*Tomo: But throw the others away, okay?*
*Nakago: Fine...*
Amiboshi: an agreement!!!
Amiboshi: YES!!
Shouka: *claps hands together* Alright! Tomo, Amiboshi, Nakago, any last words on the meeting?
Shouka: Anything else that you'd like to suggest that might improve the relationship?
Amiboshi: no comment
*Nakago: *clears throat* Yes. I think that Amiboshi is lying! He really wants to comment on us! Say something, boy!*
Shouka: Yes, please do *stares*
*Tomo: Yeah, give a comment or three. Go on! *nudges Ami with his foot*
*Nakago: You don't think that we're.... WeIrD or anything, do you?!*
Amiboshi: Nakago, listen
Amiboshi: When you wanted me to go to Konan.....
Amiboshi: You said you'd kill Shun if I didn't
*Nakago: *shrugs uncomfortably*
Amiboshi: Well....
*Nakago: *stutters* I'm.......sorry??*
*Tomo: *whacks Nakago upside the head* You idiot!*
*Nakago: Hey, I was evil back then, remember!*
*Tomo: *mutters* Make that three nights......*
*Nakago: NO!*
Amiboshi: Well, I mean, you apologize, and regret it, and you know
*Nakago: I'm sorry to YOU, I'm sorry to AMIBOSHI, I'm sorry to TAMAHOME AND HOTOHORI AND NURIKO AND ANYONE ELSE I HURT DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY!!!!!!!!! *sobs*
*Tomo: *huggles Nakago* There, let it all out...*
Amiboshi: GOMEN NASAI!!!!!!
*Nakago: thasokay....*sniffles*
*Nakago: I want my MOMMY!*
*Nakago: AND MY DADDY!*
Amiboshi: They're dead
Amiboshi: Just like mine
*Nakago *sobs*
*Nakago: I hate killing!!!!!!!!!*
Amiboshi: Woah!
*Nakago: *wails* *clings to Tomo* *runs away*
*Nakago: *clutches Amiboshi* TEACH ME how to be nonviolent!!!!!!!!! *whimpers* I don't like people who kill! I don't like me!!!!!!*
*Tomo: Now, don't say you hate yourself....*
*Nakago: But I do!*
Amiboshi: Okay, I will teach you to be a pacifist. But I have to go
*Nakago: *sniffles* Don't leave! I want my daddy! And mommy! And I want that nasty man to get away!!*
Amiboshi: *eyes widen*
*Tomo: *eyes go round* He's having flashbacks.....*leads him away* See ya......*holds Nakago* Poor thing. I hope he gets better......*
Amiboshi: Ok
Amiboshi: *waves slowly*
*Nakago: Get him away!!!!!!!! make him STOP!!!!!!!*
*Tomo: *whispers: See ya*
*Nakago: Mommy! Why aren't you paying attention to me?!*
Shouka: *coughs* I am NOT your mother
Shouka: Blonde, yes
Shouka: your mother, no
*Nakago: You're not? Then........you must be! *clings wildly to Amiboshi*
*Nakago: *clings desperately to Amiboshi* Mommy, can I have a cookie? Pretty please with sugar on top?*
Amiboshi: *gives him cookie* what the heck
*Nakago: *munches slowly* Thank you, Mommy! Can I go torture birds now, mommy?*
*Nakago: Or is that too mean? I remember you told me not to be mean........*
Amiboshi: Right
Amiboshi: That's mean
Amiboshi: Don't do that
*Nakago: *blinks* Okay*
*Nakago: Whatever you say Mommy*
Amiboshi: And remember:
Amiboshi: In Alaska it's illegal to give alcohol to a moose
*Nakago: *giggles* Okay*
Amiboshi: Dumb Laws in Alaska (I was looking at site, the address, if anyone really wants to know, is http://www.dumblaws.com)
*Nakago: I won't give beer to any mooses*
Amiboshi: Good kid
Amiboshi: Have another cookie
*Nakago: *grins* *eats cookie quickly*
*Nakago: *eyes go round* I'm cold, mommy!*
Amiboshi: Wanna blanket?
Amiboshi: Or a coat?
*Nakago: My toes are frozen and my ears are frozen and my nose is frozen..................a blanket??*
Amiboshi: Yeah
Amiboshi: S'warm
Amiboshi: *drapes blanket over Nakago's shoulders*
*Nakago: *shivers* Thank you! *wraps blanket very tightly around himself* *settles himself in Amiboshi's lap*
*Nakago: Bouce me up and down, mommy! Thas fun*
Amiboshi: Ok!
Amiboshi: *does so*
*Nakago: *giggles*
*Nakago: WWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!*
Amiboshi: *grin* It's fun being his mommy!
*Tomo: *sighs in relief* Good. I hoped you wouldn't be upset...he's always like that when he has those flashbacks*
Amiboshi: I'd be happy to take care of him anytime that happens
*Nakago: Mommy, you always take care of me!*
*Tomo: Thank you!!!!!!*
*Nakago: *giggles* Grownups are funny*
Amiboshi: ^_~ No prob! Glad ya like me
Amiboshi: Dumb Laws in California California
Amiboshi: Is much, much worse
Amiboshi: Than Alaska
*Nakago: Those are really funny rules!*
Amiboshi: Glad ya like em! I wanna make sure you have plenty to keep you happy
*Nakago: I can even read, mommy, look! "A-all dog....waste...what does that mean, mommy?....must be.....re - re - remosed?"*
*Nakago: And sunnyshine is garuanteed to all!*
Amiboshi: Removed, honey
Amiboshi: Means ya gotta get rid of it
*Nakago: Oh.....why?*
Amiboshi: Smells bad I guess
*Nakago: *giggles* That's gross, mommy!*
Amiboshi: Right, right
Amiboshi: Now we'll look up Japan!
*Nakago: Japan is a fun place!*
*Nakago: I like it there.*
Amiboshi: Japan doesn't have any stupid laws
*Nakago: *sobs* WHHHHHHHYYYY?? I wanted to practice reading some more!*
*Nakago: *blinks up tearily*
Amiboshi: Dumb Laws in England Try England, honey
Amiboshi: I think robin hood had an impression on them
*Nakago: There are too many big words on that page......what's a "premise"? And a "bale of hay?"
Amiboshi: Bale of hay?
Amiboshi: S'what horses eat, honey
*Nakago: Mommy, what's a horse?*
Amiboshi: Horse? Issa big powerful animal
*Nakago: Someone once said that my hair was like hay...*
Amiboshi: Like a donkey, but bigger
Amiboshi: Oh, honey, they meant your hair was yellow!
Amiboshi: Hay is yellow
*Nakago: *blinks* If horses are so big and powerful, are they the monsters that hide under beds? And - and do they eat little boys?*
Amiboshi: Nononoooo, they're vegetarians
Amiboshi: Like Shouka
*Nakago: Can I be a vegetarian? I don't wanna eat any cute cows!*
Amiboshi: Ok
Amiboshi: But you must never eat meat, all right?
*Nakago: Okay. Yay! Does that mean that I can eat only cookies?*
Amiboshi: Sure, if you want to
*Nakago: YAY! Thank you mommy! *clings to Amiboshi*
Amiboshi: Heehe, cute kid
*Nakago: Hey, Shouka says she's gotta leave and that I should go with her. May I?*
Amiboshi: Ok, go on ahead
Amiboshi: Come back tomorrow though, ok, honey?
*Nakago: Buh bye! I love you, mommy! *kisses on the cheek*
Shouka: *sigh*
Shouka: He's so kawaii
Shouka: Ja ne
Shouka: I'll bring him back to you tomorrow:)
Amiboshi: Ok! You do that *hugs Nakago* Sweet kid
Amiboshi: I'll be looking forward!
*Nakago: *hugs back*
Shouka: See ya!
Amiboshi: Bye!
**To the Tune of Red River Valley*
Come on, R+R, if you love me! Do not hasten to leave, unreviewed. But remember the fic you've been reading, and the author who's sadly insecure