The heat baked ground carried booted feet towards town. He was not your typical man. The town had not seen the likes of him for a decade, and the last one had been locked up. One could tell he was going to be trouble with a T-R-U-B-L.
The man ambled up to the stables and found the boy in charge of taking horses. "Son, I'd like you to take care of my mare for the next couple days."
"Sure thing sir, where is it?"
"Right here." He reached into his coat and pulled out a huge rabbit.
"Um sir, are you sure you have the right animal?"
"Don't contradict me boy! You treat her real good. Here's something for your troubles." He handed the lanky lad a bottle of whisky and some pyrite.
"Well......thank you sir."
The man grunted and waked out into the street. As he headed down the street towards the sheriff's office he heard a call from behind. "HEY YOU!"
"Yeah?"
"You didn't pay for the board for your horse."
"Well then," he said, his hand going to his holsters. "DRAW!"
He spun around and, drawing his weapon, he took aim and squeezed the life out of his over-ripe bananna.
"GROSS!"
The man smirked. "That's what I thought." He started back on his way. The stablemaster shrugged and went back inside to crack open the bottle of whiskey he had given his stable boy.
The man reached the jail and threw open the door. "Shave and a haircut....."
"Two bits." A man stepped out from behind his desk and tipped his hat to the stranger. "What can I do for you?"
"Get me a large jar of mayonnaise."
"Sure thing." The sheriff reached into a drawer in his desk and pulled out a large jar. "Here you are."
He opened the jar, stuck his hand in, pulled it out and sucked it off. "Much obliged."
The sheriff waved a goodbye. "Anytime, stranger."
The man walked into the street. At the other end was a masked man, his hand on his gun. "I'm calling you out! Draw!" At this the jar of mayonnaise cracked open over his head. "OW!!!" He shot the man dead and walked into the night, mumbling about crazys.