There was a table set out under a tree in front of the house, and the March
Cabbit and The Hatter were having tea at it: a Dormouse was sitting between
them, fast asleep, and the other two were using it as a cushion, resting
their elbows on it, and the talking over its head. `Very uncomfortable for
the Dormouse,' thought Sasami; `only, as it's asleep, I suppose it doesn't
mind.'
The table was a large one, but the three were all crowded together at one
corner of it: `No room! No room!' they cried out when they saw Sasami
coming. `There's PLENTY of room!' said Sasami indignantly, and she sat down
in a large arm-chair at one end of the table.
`Have some wine,' the March Cabbit said in an encouraging tone.
Sasami looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it but tea. `I
don't see any wine,' she remarked.
`There isn't any,' said the March Cabbit.
`Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it,' said Sasami angrily.
`It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without being invited,' said the
March Cabbit.
`I didn't know it was YOUR table,' said Sasami; `it's laid for a great many
more than three.'
`My name is Kiyone. And your hair wants cutting,' said the Hatter. She had
been looking at Sasami for some time with great curiosity, and this was her
first speech.
`You should learn not to make personal remarks,' Sasami said with some
severity; `it's very rude.'
Kiyone opened her eyes very wide on hearing this; but all she SAID was,
`Why is a raven like a writing-desk?'
`Come, we shall have some fun now!' thought Sasami. `I'm glad they've begun
asking riddles.--I believe I can guess that,' she added aloud.
`Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?' said the
March Cabbit.
`Exactly so,' said Sasami.
`Then you should say what you mean,' the March Cabbit went on.
`I do,' Sasami hastily replied; `at least--at least I mean what I say--
that's the same thing, you know.'
`Not the same thing a bit!' said Kiyone. `You might just as well say that
"I see what I eat" is the same thing as "I eat what I see"!'
`You might just as well say,' added the March Cabbit, `that "I like what I
get" is the same thing as "I get what I like"!'
`You might just as well say,' added the Dormouse, who seemed to be talking
in his sleep, `that "I breathe when I sleep" is the same thing as "I sleep
when I breathe"!'
`It IS the same thing with you,' said Kiyone, and here the conversation
dropped, and the party sat silent for a minute, while Sasami thought over
all she could remember about ravens and writing-desks, which wasn't much.
Kiyone was the first to break the silence. `What day of the month is it?'
she said, turning to Sasami: she had taken her watch out of her pocket, and
was looking at it uneasily, shaking it every now and then, and holding it
to her ear.
Sasami considered a little, and then said `The fourth.'
`Two days wrong!' sighed Kiyone. `I told you butter wouldn't suit the
works!' she added looking angrily at the March Cabbit.
`It was the BEST butter,' the March Cabbit meekly replied.
`Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well,' Kiyone grumbled: `you
shouldn't have put it in with the bread-knife.'
The March Cabbit took the watch and looked at it gloomily: then she dipped
it into her cup of tea, and looked at it again: but she could think of
nothing better to say than her first remark, `It was the BEST butter, you
know.'
Sasami had been looking over her shoulder with some curiosity. `What a
funny watch!' she remarked. `It tells the day of the month, and doesn't
tell what o'clock it is!'
`Why should it?' muttered Kiyone. `Does YOUR watch tell you what year it
is?'
`Of course not,' Sasami replied very readily: `but that's because it stays
the same year for such a long time together.'
`Which is just the case with MINE,' said Kiyone.
Sasami felt dreadfully puzzled. Kiyone's remark seemed to have no sort of
meaning in it, and yet it was certainly English. `I don't quite understand
you,' she said, as politely as she could.
`The Dormouse is asleep again,' said Kiyone, and she poured a little hot
tea upon its nose.
The Dormouse shook its head impatiently, and said, without opening its
eyes, `Of course, of course; just what I was going to remark myself.'
`Have you guessed the riddle yet?' Kiyone said, turning to Sasami again.
`No, I give it up,' Sasami replied: `that's the answer?'
`I haven't the slightest idea,' said Kiyone.
`Nor I,' said the March Cabbit.
Sasami sighed wearily. `I think you might do something better with the
time,' she said, `than waste it in asking riddles that have no answers.'
`If you knew Time as well as I do,' said Kiyone, `you wouldn't talk about
wasting IT. It's HIM.'
`I don't know what you mean,' said Sasami.
`Of course you don't!' Kiyone said, tossing her head contemptuously. `I
dare say you never even spoke to Time!'
`Perhaps not,' Sasami cautiously replied: `but I know I have to beat time
when I learn music.'
`Ah! that accounts for it,' said Kiyone. `He won't stand beating. Now, if
you only kept on good terms with him, he'd do almost anything you liked
with the clock. For instance, suppose it were nine o'clock in the morning,
just time to begin lessons: you'd only have to whisper a hint to Time, and
round goes the clock in a twinkling! Half-past one, time for dinner!'
(`I only wish it was,' the March Cabbit said to itself in a whisper.)
`That would be grand, certainly,' said Sasami thoughtfully: `but then--I
shouldn't be hungry for it, you know.'
`Not at first, perhaps,' said Kiyone: `but you could keep it to half-past
one as long as you liked.'
`Is that the way YOU manage?' Sasami asked.
Kiyone shook her head mournfully. `Not I!' she replied. `We quarrelled last
March--just before SHE went mad, you know--' (pointing with her tea spoon
at the March Cabbit,) `--it was at the great concert given by the Queen of
Hearts, and I had to sing
"Twinkle, twinkle, little bat! How I wonder what you're at!"
You know the song, perhaps?'
`I've heard something like it,' said Sasami.
`It goes on, you know,' Kiyone continued, `in this way:--
"Up above the world you fly, Like a tea-tray in the sky. Twinkle, twinkle--
"'
Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singing in its sleep `Twinkle,
twinkle, twinkle, twinkle--' and went on so long that they had to pinch it
to make it stop.
`Well, I'd hardly finished the first verse,' said Kiyone, `when the Queen
jumped up and bawled out, "He's murdering the time! Off with his head!"'
`How dreadfully savage!' exclaimed Sasami.
`And ever since that,' Kiyone went on in a mournful tone, `he won't do a
thing I ask! It's always six o'clock now.'
A bright idea came into Sasami's head. `Is that the reason so many tea-
things are put out here?' she asked.
`Yes, that's it,' said Kiyone with a sigh: `it's always tea-time, and we've
no time to wash the things between whiles.'
`Then you keep moving round, I suppose?' said Sasami.
`Exactly so,' said Kiyone: `as the things get used up.'
`But what happens when you come to the beginning again?' Sasami ventured to
ask.
`Suppose we change the subject,' the March Cabbit interrupted, yawning.
`I'm getting tired of this. I vote the young lady tells us a story.'
`I'm afraid I don't know one,' said Sasami, rather alarmed at the proposal.
`Then the Dormouse shall!' they both cried. `Wake up, Dormouse!' And they pinched it on both sides at once. The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. `I wasn't asleep,' he said in a hoarse, feeble voice: `I heard every word you fellows were saying.' `Tell us a story!' said the March Cabbit. `Yes, please do!' pleaded Sasami. `And be quick about it,' added Kiyone, `or you'll be asleep again before it's done.' `Once upon a time there were three little sisters,' the Dormouse began in a great hurry; `and their names were Elsie, Lacie, and Tillie; and they lived at the bottom of a well--' `What did they live on?' said Sasami, who always took a great interest in questions of eating and drinking. `They lived on treacle,' said the Dormouse, after thinking a minute or two.
`They couldn't have done that, you know,' Sasami gently remarked; `they'd have been ill.' `So they were,' said the Dormouse; `VERY ill.' Sasami tried to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary ways of living would be like, but it puzzled her too much, so she went on: `But why did they live at the bottom of a well?' `Take some more tea,' the March Cabbit said to Sasami, very earnestly. `I've had nothing yet,' Sasami replied in an offended tone, `so I can't take more.' `You mean you can't take LESS,' said Kiyone: `it's very easy to take MORE than nothing.' `Nobody asked YOUR opinion,' said Sasami. `Who's making personal remarks now?' Kiyone asked triumphantly. Sasami did not quite know what to say to this: so she helped herself to some tea and bread-and-butter, and then turned to the Dormouse, and repeated her question. `Why did they live at the bottom of a well?' The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, and then said, `It was a treacle-well.' `There's no such thing!' Sasami was beginning very angrily, but Kiyone and the March Cabbit went `Sh! sh!' and the Dormouse sulkily remarked, `If you can't be civil, you'd better finish the story for yourself.' `No, please go on!' Sasami said very humbly; `I won't interrupt again. I dare say there may be ONE.' `One, indeed!' said the Dormouse indignantly. However, he consented to go on. `And so these three little sisters--they were learning to draw, you know--' `What did they draw?' said Sasami, quite forgetting her promise. `Treacle,' said the Dormouse, without considering at all this time. `I want a clean cup,' interrupted Kiyone: `let's all move one place on.' She moved on as she spoke, and the Dormouse followed him: the March Cabbit moved into the Dormouse's place, and Sasami rather unwillingly took the place of the March Cabbit. Kiyone was the only one who got any advantage from the change: and Sasami was a good deal worse off than before, as the March Cabbit had just upset the milk-jug into her plate. Sasami did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began very cautiously: `But I don't understand. Where did they draw the treacle from?'
`You can draw water out of a water-well,' said Kiyone; `so I should think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well--eh, stupid?' `But they were IN the well,' Sasami said to the Dormouse, not choosing to notice this last remark. `Of course they were', said the Dormouse; `--well in.' This answer so confused poor Sasami, that she let the Dormouse go on for some time without interrupting it. `They were learning to draw,' the Dormouse went on, yawning and rubbing its eyes, for it was getting very sleepy; `and they drew all manner of things-- everything that begins with an M--' `Why with an M?' said Sasami. `Why not?' said the March Cabbit. Sasami was silent. The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time, and was going off into a doze; but, on being pinched by Kiyone, it woke up again with a little shriek, and went on: `--that begins with an M, such as mouse-traps, and the moon, and memory, and muchness-- you know you say things are "much of a muchness"--did you ever see such a thing as a drawing of a muchness?' `Really, now you ask me,' said Sasami, very much confused, `I don't think-- ' `Then you shouldn't talk,' said Kiyone. This piece of rudeness was more than Sasami could bear: she got up in great disgust, and walked off; the Dormouse fell asleep instantly, and neither of the others took the least notice of her going, though she looked back once or twice, half hoping that they would call after her: the last time she saw them, they were trying to put the Dormouse into the teapot. `At any rate I'll never go THERE again!' said Sasami as she picked her way through the wood. `It's the stupidest tea-party I ever was at in all my life!' Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a door leading right into it. `That's very curious!' she thought. `But everything's curious today. I think I may as well go in at once.' And in she went. Once more she found herself in the long hall, and close to the little glass table. `Now, I'll manage better this time,' she said to herself, and began by taking the little golden key, and unlocking the door that led into the garden. Then she wet to work nibbling at the mushroom (she had kept a piece of it in her pocked) till she was about a foot high: then she walked down the little passage: and THEN--she found herself at last in the beautiful garden, among the bright flower-beds and the cool fountains.
`Then the Dormouse shall!' they both cried. `Wake up, Dormouse!' And they pinched it on both sides at once. The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. `I wasn't asleep,' he said in a hoarse, feeble voice: `I heard every word you fellows were saying.' `Tell us a story!' said the March Cabbit. `Yes, please do!' pleaded Sasami. `And be quick about it,' added Kiyone, `or you'll be asleep again before it's done.' `Once upon a time there were three little sisters,' the Dormouse began in a great hurry; `and their names were Elsie, Lacie, and Tillie; and they lived at the bottom of a well--' `What did they live on?' said Sasami, who always took a great interest in questions of eating and drinking. `They lived on treacle,' said the Dormouse, after thinking a minute or two.
`They couldn't have done that, you know,' Sasami gently remarked; `they'd have been ill.' `So they were,' said the Dormouse; `VERY ill.' Sasami tried to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary ways of living would be like, but it puzzled her too much, so she went on: `But why did they live at the bottom of a well?' `Take some more tea,' the March Cabbit said to Sasami, very earnestly. `I've had nothing yet,' Sasami replied in an offended tone, `so I can't take more.' `You mean you can't take LESS,' said Kiyone: `it's very easy to take MORE than nothing.' `Nobody asked YOUR opinion,' said Sasami. `Who's making personal remarks now?' Kiyone asked triumphantly. Sasami did not quite know what to say to this: so she helped herself to some tea and bread-and-butter, and then turned to the Dormouse, and repeated her question. `Why did they live at the bottom of a well?' The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, and then said, `It was a treacle-well.' `There's no such thing!' Sasami was beginning very angrily, but Kiyone and the March Cabbit went `Sh! sh!' and the Dormouse sulkily remarked, `If you can't be civil, you'd better finish the story for yourself.' `No, please go on!' Sasami said very humbly; `I won't interrupt again. I dare say there may be ONE.' `One, indeed!' said the Dormouse indignantly. However, he consented to go on. `And so these three little sisters--they were learning to draw, you know--' `What did they draw?' said Sasami, quite forgetting her promise. `Treacle,' said the Dormouse, without considering at all this time. `I want a clean cup,' interrupted Kiyone: `let's all move one place on.' She moved on as she spoke, and the Dormouse followed him: the March Cabbit moved into the Dormouse's place, and Sasami rather unwillingly took the place of the March Cabbit. Kiyone was the only one who got any advantage from the change: and Sasami was a good deal worse off than before, as the March Cabbit had just upset the milk-jug into her plate. Sasami did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began very cautiously: `But I don't understand. Where did they draw the treacle from?'
`You can draw water out of a water-well,' said Kiyone; `so I should think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well--eh, stupid?' `But they were IN the well,' Sasami said to the Dormouse, not choosing to notice this last remark. `Of course they were', said the Dormouse; `--well in.' This answer so confused poor Sasami, that she let the Dormouse go on for some time without interrupting it. `They were learning to draw,' the Dormouse went on, yawning and rubbing its eyes, for it was getting very sleepy; `and they drew all manner of things-- everything that begins with an M--' `Why with an M?' said Sasami. `Why not?' said the March Cabbit. Sasami was silent. The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time, and was going off into a doze; but, on being pinched by Kiyone, it woke up again with a little shriek, and went on: `--that begins with an M, such as mouse-traps, and the moon, and memory, and muchness-- you know you say things are "much of a muchness"--did you ever see such a thing as a drawing of a muchness?' `Really, now you ask me,' said Sasami, very much confused, `I don't think-- ' `Then you shouldn't talk,' said Kiyone. This piece of rudeness was more than Sasami could bear: she got up in great disgust, and walked off; the Dormouse fell asleep instantly, and neither of the others took the least notice of her going, though she looked back once or twice, half hoping that they would call after her: the last time she saw them, they were trying to put the Dormouse into the teapot. `At any rate I'll never go THERE again!' said Sasami as she picked her way through the wood. `It's the stupidest tea-party I ever was at in all my life!' Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a door leading right into it. `That's very curious!' she thought. `But everything's curious today. I think I may as well go in at once.' And in she went. Once more she found herself in the long hall, and close to the little glass table. `Now, I'll manage better this time,' she said to herself, and began by taking the little golden key, and unlocking the door that led into the garden. Then she wet to work nibbling at the mushroom (she had kept a piece of it in her pocked) till she was about a foot high: then she walked down the little passage: and THEN--she found herself at last in the beautiful garden, among the bright flower-beds and the cool fountains.