Title: Trivial 14: Heightened Senses
Author: Kel
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Rating: PG for language
For Rogue and Shadowspun, who both asked me "So when are you going to do one for "The Sentinel?" Well... here it is.
Trivial 14: Heightened Senses
"What are you watching now?"
"It's a cop show."
"No cop I've ever seen has hair like that."
"That's cause he's not a cop."
"You just said this was a cop show."
"It is. They're all cops but him."
"Okay, would you like to start from the beginning and tell me what this is about?"
"Promise you won't get all pissy like you did over naked Spike?"
"I promise."
"Okay. There's this one cop--Ellison--"
"That would be the one without all the hair."
"Right!"
"He's... not bad."
"Wait, whoa, you think *that* is sexy, but you don't like naked Spike?"
"Spike is nothing. This, Clark... this is a true specimen of manhood. From the functional haircut to the body to the cut abs to the... oh, are those black silk boxers?"
"Yeah."
"You see? True manhood, right there. So what's his special story, and why's he living with Hairy Guy?"
"Hairy Guy is named Blair Sandburg. And they're lovers, only they don't show that on television. The TV reason why they live together is because Jim--Ellison, your sexy cop guy--is a Sentinel, which is someone with all five senses heightened. And Blair--Hairy Guy--is the only person in the world pretty much who knows about Sentinels, so he and Jim hook up."
"So why are they sleeping in separate rooms?"
"Because I told you, they don't show that on television."
"So how do you know?"
"Come on. What guy would get in another guy's personal space like that on a regular basis without screwing his friend into the middle of next week?"
"Me?"
"And you *did* screw me into the middle of next week, Lex. And you *still* do for that matter."
"Point taken. So how do you know they're lovers?"
"There's a beautiful thing called the internet, Lex."
"And somewhere on the internet it shows that these two are lovers?"
"Oh, everywhere. There's like hundreds of stories. There's archives and webpages all over the internet."
"Is that where you learned that interesting little trick with your tongue?"
"Well... yeah. Cause you know... Jim's sensitive. Blair has to be creative sometimes."
"Indulge me, Clark. Stop licking my ear and let me finish the show. Then you can show me what else you've learned from Blair."
"You don't like me licking your ear?"
"Not when I'm trying to watch television."
"You're not watching the show, you're watching Ellison's bare chest."
"If you get to fantasize about naked Spike, then the least you can do is let me watch my cop show in peace."
"*Your* cop show?"
"Yes, Clark, my cop show."
"Fine, be that way. There's a couple of girls that have killer websites out there, I'll just go read and learn a few new tricks. That I won't share with you."
"And whom exactly will you be sharing these tricks with?"
"Someone who's not getting a tent in his pants for an over-the-hill cop."
"Careful, Clark, green is not your color."
"Oh, fuck you very much."
"Hold that thought."
"Bite me, Lex."
"Clark, stop it."
"You're the one who started this, Lex."
"Yes, but I'm not the one acting like a five year old child. Sit down and watch your show. If I can tolerate naked Spike, then you can tolerate Jim Ellison."
"I have tapes of all the shows. Got them from a tape tree off the internet."
"And you're going to let me watch them?"
"Yeah, if you want. I mean, they're not Buffy, but... you know, they're pretty good. No vampires, no mutants, just real life criminals."
"So how does the show end? Do they get together?"
"No, but Blair's mom ends up leaking Blair's dissertation on Sentinels and it gets out that Jim is one, and so to protect Jim's reputation, Blair says that his entire dissertation was faked and a phony, and then nobody believes that Jim is a supercop anymore."
"That's... a lot to give up for your friend."
"Some people would do anything to protect their friends. A friend of mine once told me that."
"Clark?"
"Yeah?"
"I do love you."
"I know, Lex."
The End.
Author: Kel
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Rating: PG for language
For Rogue and Shadowspun, who both asked me "So when are you going to do one for "The Sentinel?" Well... here it is.
Trivial 14: Heightened Senses
"What are you watching now?"
"It's a cop show."
"No cop I've ever seen has hair like that."
"That's cause he's not a cop."
"You just said this was a cop show."
"It is. They're all cops but him."
"Okay, would you like to start from the beginning and tell me what this is about?"
"Promise you won't get all pissy like you did over naked Spike?"
"I promise."
"Okay. There's this one cop--Ellison--"
"That would be the one without all the hair."
"Right!"
"He's... not bad."
"Wait, whoa, you think *that* is sexy, but you don't like naked Spike?"
"Spike is nothing. This, Clark... this is a true specimen of manhood. From the functional haircut to the body to the cut abs to the... oh, are those black silk boxers?"
"Yeah."
"You see? True manhood, right there. So what's his special story, and why's he living with Hairy Guy?"
"Hairy Guy is named Blair Sandburg. And they're lovers, only they don't show that on television. The TV reason why they live together is because Jim--Ellison, your sexy cop guy--is a Sentinel, which is someone with all five senses heightened. And Blair--Hairy Guy--is the only person in the world pretty much who knows about Sentinels, so he and Jim hook up."
"So why are they sleeping in separate rooms?"
"Because I told you, they don't show that on television."
"So how do you know?"
"Come on. What guy would get in another guy's personal space like that on a regular basis without screwing his friend into the middle of next week?"
"Me?"
"And you *did* screw me into the middle of next week, Lex. And you *still* do for that matter."
"Point taken. So how do you know they're lovers?"
"There's a beautiful thing called the internet, Lex."
"And somewhere on the internet it shows that these two are lovers?"
"Oh, everywhere. There's like hundreds of stories. There's archives and webpages all over the internet."
"Is that where you learned that interesting little trick with your tongue?"
"Well... yeah. Cause you know... Jim's sensitive. Blair has to be creative sometimes."
"Indulge me, Clark. Stop licking my ear and let me finish the show. Then you can show me what else you've learned from Blair."
"You don't like me licking your ear?"
"Not when I'm trying to watch television."
"You're not watching the show, you're watching Ellison's bare chest."
"If you get to fantasize about naked Spike, then the least you can do is let me watch my cop show in peace."
"*Your* cop show?"
"Yes, Clark, my cop show."
"Fine, be that way. There's a couple of girls that have killer websites out there, I'll just go read and learn a few new tricks. That I won't share with you."
"And whom exactly will you be sharing these tricks with?"
"Someone who's not getting a tent in his pants for an over-the-hill cop."
"Careful, Clark, green is not your color."
"Oh, fuck you very much."
"Hold that thought."
"Bite me, Lex."
"Clark, stop it."
"You're the one who started this, Lex."
"Yes, but I'm not the one acting like a five year old child. Sit down and watch your show. If I can tolerate naked Spike, then you can tolerate Jim Ellison."
"I have tapes of all the shows. Got them from a tape tree off the internet."
"And you're going to let me watch them?"
"Yeah, if you want. I mean, they're not Buffy, but... you know, they're pretty good. No vampires, no mutants, just real life criminals."
"So how does the show end? Do they get together?"
"No, but Blair's mom ends up leaking Blair's dissertation on Sentinels and it gets out that Jim is one, and so to protect Jim's reputation, Blair says that his entire dissertation was faked and a phony, and then nobody believes that Jim is a supercop anymore."
"That's... a lot to give up for your friend."
"Some people would do anything to protect their friends. A friend of mine once told me that."
"Clark?"
"Yeah?"
"I do love you."
"I know, Lex."
The End.