Title: Trivial 15: Sulphur and Seraphim
Author: Kel
Rating: PG-13?
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Summary: In Which Clark and Lex Discover "Brimstone"
Notes: Penemuel and Alex. ;) Here's to you.
"Lex, did you ever realize that your dad looks like Satan?"
"Well, it wouldn't surprise me a bit. In fact, I've thought he was Satan more than once in my life."
"And that doesn't frighten you?"
"I actually like being thought of as the Prince of Darkness. Reputation to live up to and all that."
"You and your reputation. Do you, like, get *off* on people thinking you're an asshole?"
"I might as well; they think it anyway."
"Well, at least it means I get to sleep with royalty."
"I knew you were only interested in me for my title."
"Title?"
"Prince of Darkness. Son of Satan, Heir to the Nine Circles of Hell?"
"Isn't that Dante?"
"Picky picky."
"You know, they should have made Satan the star of the show."
"Yes, I know. But we can't exactly have a show on national television glorifying Satan. That would be like putting my father on Sesame Street."
"The thought of Lionel Luthor as a Muppet is frightening, Lex. If I have nightmares tonight, it's your fault."
"I'll hold your hand and kiss you through them."
"That's sweet of you."
"My pleasure."
"You know... that's seriously one Satan I wouldn't mind selling my soul to."
*blink* "Clark... do you have issues with my father that I should know about?"
"Ick! Ewww! Lex!! That's just... God! Disgusting!"
"You're telling me. That's the one image I could have done without; my lover lusting after my father."
"LEX!!!! That's... oh just SICK! Yuck! No way in fuck!"
"At least that's one thing we're in agreement on. I wouldn't want to fuck my father either. Or yours for that matter."
"*SO* didn't need that image!!!!"
"You know, don't you, that those soda stains will be a bitch to get out of the carpet."
"You're the one who made me spew it through my nose in the first place!!"
"Forget ruling the world when I'm thirty; if I can make a sixteen year old spew Coke out his nose, then I've done well with my life."
"Go to hell, Lex! That *burns* coming up through your nostrils like that!"
"Well, at least I'll have a familiar face down there to keep me company. Dear old Dad."
"You know, your father really *isn't* Satan."
"Hello? My Father? Lionel Luthor? Hellspawned of the Ninth Circle? Care to change your story, Clark?"
"Okay, okay. So maybe he *is* Satan."
"That means penthouse suite. Maybe Hell won't be so bad after all. Premiere accomodations and all that."
"Lex?"
"Could we not talk about you going to Hell? because that's just... disturbing. The thought of having to deal with your dad 24/7 as the Supreme Ruler of Hell is a little more than I want to contemplate."
"Well... there is that. So what are we contemplating instead?"
"How hot Satan looks?"
"Again I must ask you, Clark... Lionel issues?"
"Ick, eww, and gross, man. Okay. No more Satan cracks."
"Thank you. I don't need my father's image intruding on my libido."
"You could always play Billy Bass. That shut him up the other day."
"Saw that, did you?"
"Totally classic, man."
"Clark... if you say one more thing about my father, I'm going to have to hurt you. Badly."
"Your f--"
The End
Author: Kel
Rating: PG-13?
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Summary: In Which Clark and Lex Discover "Brimstone"
Notes: Penemuel and Alex. ;) Here's to you.
"Lex, did you ever realize that your dad looks like Satan?"
"Well, it wouldn't surprise me a bit. In fact, I've thought he was Satan more than once in my life."
"And that doesn't frighten you?"
"I actually like being thought of as the Prince of Darkness. Reputation to live up to and all that."
"You and your reputation. Do you, like, get *off* on people thinking you're an asshole?"
"I might as well; they think it anyway."
"Well, at least it means I get to sleep with royalty."
"I knew you were only interested in me for my title."
"Title?"
"Prince of Darkness. Son of Satan, Heir to the Nine Circles of Hell?"
"Isn't that Dante?"
"Picky picky."
"You know, they should have made Satan the star of the show."
"Yes, I know. But we can't exactly have a show on national television glorifying Satan. That would be like putting my father on Sesame Street."
"The thought of Lionel Luthor as a Muppet is frightening, Lex. If I have nightmares tonight, it's your fault."
"I'll hold your hand and kiss you through them."
"That's sweet of you."
"My pleasure."
"You know... that's seriously one Satan I wouldn't mind selling my soul to."
*blink* "Clark... do you have issues with my father that I should know about?"
"Ick! Ewww! Lex!! That's just... God! Disgusting!"
"You're telling me. That's the one image I could have done without; my lover lusting after my father."
"LEX!!!! That's... oh just SICK! Yuck! No way in fuck!"
"At least that's one thing we're in agreement on. I wouldn't want to fuck my father either. Or yours for that matter."
"*SO* didn't need that image!!!!"
"You know, don't you, that those soda stains will be a bitch to get out of the carpet."
"You're the one who made me spew it through my nose in the first place!!"
"Forget ruling the world when I'm thirty; if I can make a sixteen year old spew Coke out his nose, then I've done well with my life."
"Go to hell, Lex! That *burns* coming up through your nostrils like that!"
"Well, at least I'll have a familiar face down there to keep me company. Dear old Dad."
"You know, your father really *isn't* Satan."
"Hello? My Father? Lionel Luthor? Hellspawned of the Ninth Circle? Care to change your story, Clark?"
"Okay, okay. So maybe he *is* Satan."
"That means penthouse suite. Maybe Hell won't be so bad after all. Premiere accomodations and all that."
"Lex?"
"Could we not talk about you going to Hell? because that's just... disturbing. The thought of having to deal with your dad 24/7 as the Supreme Ruler of Hell is a little more than I want to contemplate."
"Well... there is that. So what are we contemplating instead?"
"How hot Satan looks?"
"Again I must ask you, Clark... Lionel issues?"
"Ick, eww, and gross, man. Okay. No more Satan cracks."
"Thank you. I don't need my father's image intruding on my libido."
"You could always play Billy Bass. That shut him up the other day."
"Saw that, did you?"
"Totally classic, man."
"Clark... if you say one more thing about my father, I'm going to have to hurt you. Badly."
"Your f--"
The End