Title: Trivial 16: Griffyndor, Slytherin and Twincest, Oh My
Author: Kel
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Rating: PG
Summary: In Which Clark and Lex Discover Harry Potter
Archive: Knock yourself out
For PJC and Amy
"Lex! Look what I found in your library!"
"They're books, Clark. I'm not surprised you found books in my library."
"They're *not* just books. They're *Harry* *Potter.*"
"And I just know there's a point to you plunking those books down on my desk like this."
"You read Harry Potter?"
"Don't sound so accusatory, Clark. I happen to enjoy those books."
"Well, so do I, but that's not the point! You are not allowed to read Harry Potter! You're... too old!"
"Since when is there an age limit on reading, Clark? Besides, in case you hadn't picked up on this, there's a bit of an adult undertone to the books, and I'm not talking You-Know-Who."
"You mean Harry and Draco?"
"No. I mean Harry and Ron. I can't believe you mean Harry and Draco."
"Whaddya mean, Harry and *Ron?*"
"Well, face it, Clark. In *Goblet of Fire,* Ron was the thing that Harry treasured the most. Even over that insufferable Hermione."
"Y'know, I did wonder about that..."
"There, you see? Near-canonical basis."
"Near-WHATical basis?"
"Canonical. Canon. The set of incontrovertible facts presented by the author of a book or of a television show, facts that cannot be interpreted another way."
"Excuse me while I get my Lex-speak Dictionary out."
"Ha ha, Clark. So what's your argument for Harry and Draco?"
"Harry and Draco. Supposedly hate each other, right? But they're *always* in each other's faces. They can't leave each other alone. And come on... something *that* extreme has gotta have something else going for it."
"So you think that most bitter rivals actually hold their opposition in high affection, and that's why everything is so intense between them? That's... an interesting proposition."
"Why do I think this conversation just took a turn into left field and I have *no* idea what you're talking about?"
"Don't worry, Clark. Just random musings. Nothing you should worry about."
"Uh huh. Harry and Ron, huh?"
"Yes, Harry and Ron."
"Nothing to do with two other best friends, right? Total coincidence."
"Absolutely."
"I think you're jerking my chain, Lex."
"I think I'd like to be jerking something else. Although, there's one relationship you haven't considered that you maybe should."
"You can jerk anything you want to. And wait what where? Don't tell me Harry/Snape, because I'll just... no. No way, no how."
"No no no. Snape is a personal favorite of mine, yes, but I prefer thinking of Snape and Sirius. No, what I was thinking of was Fred and George."
"The WEASLEY TWINS??"
"You don't have to shout, Clark. I'm right here."
"That's... that's... that's..."
"Incest. Twincest, actually, if you want to think about it."
"I DON'T!!!!"
"You can't tell me you didn't see that.
"LEX!!!"
"All right, all right. I'll stick with Harry and Ron. But just think of the mental images. I'm... rather partial to redheads, for obvious reasons."
"...redheads?"
"Yes, the Weasleys are redheads, remember?"
"That's still sick."
"But very picturesque."
"I'm not hearing you, Lex."
The End
Author: Kel
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Rating: PG
Summary: In Which Clark and Lex Discover Harry Potter
Archive: Knock yourself out
For PJC and Amy
"Lex! Look what I found in your library!"
"They're books, Clark. I'm not surprised you found books in my library."
"They're *not* just books. They're *Harry* *Potter.*"
"And I just know there's a point to you plunking those books down on my desk like this."
"You read Harry Potter?"
"Don't sound so accusatory, Clark. I happen to enjoy those books."
"Well, so do I, but that's not the point! You are not allowed to read Harry Potter! You're... too old!"
"Since when is there an age limit on reading, Clark? Besides, in case you hadn't picked up on this, there's a bit of an adult undertone to the books, and I'm not talking You-Know-Who."
"You mean Harry and Draco?"
"No. I mean Harry and Ron. I can't believe you mean Harry and Draco."
"Whaddya mean, Harry and *Ron?*"
"Well, face it, Clark. In *Goblet of Fire,* Ron was the thing that Harry treasured the most. Even over that insufferable Hermione."
"Y'know, I did wonder about that..."
"There, you see? Near-canonical basis."
"Near-WHATical basis?"
"Canonical. Canon. The set of incontrovertible facts presented by the author of a book or of a television show, facts that cannot be interpreted another way."
"Excuse me while I get my Lex-speak Dictionary out."
"Ha ha, Clark. So what's your argument for Harry and Draco?"
"Harry and Draco. Supposedly hate each other, right? But they're *always* in each other's faces. They can't leave each other alone. And come on... something *that* extreme has gotta have something else going for it."
"So you think that most bitter rivals actually hold their opposition in high affection, and that's why everything is so intense between them? That's... an interesting proposition."
"Why do I think this conversation just took a turn into left field and I have *no* idea what you're talking about?"
"Don't worry, Clark. Just random musings. Nothing you should worry about."
"Uh huh. Harry and Ron, huh?"
"Yes, Harry and Ron."
"Nothing to do with two other best friends, right? Total coincidence."
"Absolutely."
"I think you're jerking my chain, Lex."
"I think I'd like to be jerking something else. Although, there's one relationship you haven't considered that you maybe should."
"You can jerk anything you want to. And wait what where? Don't tell me Harry/Snape, because I'll just... no. No way, no how."
"No no no. Snape is a personal favorite of mine, yes, but I prefer thinking of Snape and Sirius. No, what I was thinking of was Fred and George."
"The WEASLEY TWINS??"
"You don't have to shout, Clark. I'm right here."
"That's... that's... that's..."
"Incest. Twincest, actually, if you want to think about it."
"I DON'T!!!!"
"You can't tell me you didn't see that.
"LEX!!!"
"All right, all right. I'll stick with Harry and Ron. But just think of the mental images. I'm... rather partial to redheads, for obvious reasons."
"...redheads?"
"Yes, the Weasleys are redheads, remember?"
"That's still sick."
"But very picturesque."
"I'm not hearing you, Lex."
The End