Title: Trivial 19: On The Ropes
Author: Kel
Rating: PGish
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Archive: Knock Yourself Out
Summary: In Which Clark and Lex discover WWE Wrestling.
For Amy, KC, and Ghini.
"Clark... please, Dear God. Tell me you're not watching what I think you're watching."
"I'm watching wrestling."
"I am definitely not hearing this."
"What's wrong with wrestling?"
"Where would you like me to start?"
"Okay. So it's a fake, scripted out, testosterone-driven lame-ass male oriented soap opera, but I like it. Besides my--"
"Let me guess. Your father watches it all the time."
"Well, yeah. He got me started on it."
"Clark.. remember that whole Dukes of Hazzard are tasteless thing?"
"Vividly."
"This is worse. To the nth degree."
"Just sit down and watch it."
"Or you'll put me in a headlock?"
"Leeeeeeeeeeeex..."
"No way, Clark. Puppy eyes will *not* work on me in this case. I am *not* watching WWF--"
"WWE. Get the F out."
"What did you just say to me?"
"Get the F out. It's the new slogan. They're not World Wrestling Federation anymore, they're World Wrestling Entertainment."
"I'm frightened that you know this."
"Yeah, they had to change cause of the real WWF. World Wildlife Federation. They were violating some copyright agreement or something."
"Now that's amusing. A multinational corporation like that not checking to see if the logo they've used for the past two decades is copyrighted to someone else. Now that I love."
"You see? You'll love Vince McMahon. He's your kind of businessman."
"Clark, if you start drooling over the wrestlers I will... who in the fuck are they?"
"Oh, them. That's Billy and Chuck. Like, the gayest couple in the WWE. That's their personal stylist, Rico."
"These... these... they're... stylist?"
"Breathe, Lex."
"They're bleached blond himbos."
"That's the general idea, yeah."
"I can hear your brain rotting and turning into ooze as you speak to me."
"My brain is not oozing out my ears."
"It must be mine then. Jesus, how can you watch this?"
"Are you kidding? Wrestling is like the gayest sport ever. I mean, in how many other sports can you feel up a guy's crotch in front of millions and millions of fans and call it part of a wrestling move? I mean come on. Look at the Pedigree. Head. Between. Thighs. Hello, homo much?"
"Clark. Please. No more wrestling."
"But you haven't seen the best part."
"The end credits?"
The End
Author: Kel
Rating: PGish
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Archive: Knock Yourself Out
Summary: In Which Clark and Lex discover WWE Wrestling.
For Amy, KC, and Ghini.
"Clark... please, Dear God. Tell me you're not watching what I think you're watching."
"I'm watching wrestling."
"I am definitely not hearing this."
"What's wrong with wrestling?"
"Where would you like me to start?"
"Okay. So it's a fake, scripted out, testosterone-driven lame-ass male oriented soap opera, but I like it. Besides my--"
"Let me guess. Your father watches it all the time."
"Well, yeah. He got me started on it."
"Clark.. remember that whole Dukes of Hazzard are tasteless thing?"
"Vividly."
"This is worse. To the nth degree."
"Just sit down and watch it."
"Or you'll put me in a headlock?"
"Leeeeeeeeeeeex..."
"No way, Clark. Puppy eyes will *not* work on me in this case. I am *not* watching WWF--"
"WWE. Get the F out."
"What did you just say to me?"
"Get the F out. It's the new slogan. They're not World Wrestling Federation anymore, they're World Wrestling Entertainment."
"I'm frightened that you know this."
"Yeah, they had to change cause of the real WWF. World Wildlife Federation. They were violating some copyright agreement or something."
"Now that's amusing. A multinational corporation like that not checking to see if the logo they've used for the past two decades is copyrighted to someone else. Now that I love."
"You see? You'll love Vince McMahon. He's your kind of businessman."
"Clark, if you start drooling over the wrestlers I will... who in the fuck are they?"
"Oh, them. That's Billy and Chuck. Like, the gayest couple in the WWE. That's their personal stylist, Rico."
"These... these... they're... stylist?"
"Breathe, Lex."
"They're bleached blond himbos."
"That's the general idea, yeah."
"I can hear your brain rotting and turning into ooze as you speak to me."
"My brain is not oozing out my ears."
"It must be mine then. Jesus, how can you watch this?"
"Are you kidding? Wrestling is like the gayest sport ever. I mean, in how many other sports can you feel up a guy's crotch in front of millions and millions of fans and call it part of a wrestling move? I mean come on. Look at the Pedigree. Head. Between. Thighs. Hello, homo much?"
"Clark. Please. No more wrestling."
"But you haven't seen the best part."
"The end credits?"
The End