Title: Trivial Interlude: Meeting The Muses
Author: Kel
Pairing: Clark/Lex as always
Rating: PG-13ish for language
Summary: Have you ever wondered what, exactly, inspires me to write? Meet The Muses. Lex, Clark, Lionel and Whitney.
Notes: Ghini TyNant, I ::heart:: you.
"How many of these things has she done now, anyway?"
"Aren't you keeping count?"
"No, that's your job."
"Bite me, farmboy."
"Guys, please. It's bad enough I write it, do I have to listen to it too?"
"Bite me, fangirl."
"Kiss my ass, Lex. You can be replaced, you know. Lionel's waiting just *right* over there."
"You wouldn't dare."
"Try me, Baldilocks."
"You can't talk to Lex like that."
"Buzz off, Superboy. You've got no room to complain. You get laid in almost every fic I write. Sit down, shut up, and look beautiful."
"You know something? You're getting awfully grouchy."
"Well, if a certain bald billionaire hadn't drunk all my latte, I'd have my caffeine fix and I wouldn't *be* Miss Bitchypants."
"Christ, is that all? Clark, here. Go to the store. Buy her some coffee. Hell, buy a whole coffee plantation."
"You can get that in the store?"
"Go!!"
"Yes ma'am! God! Bitch!"
"Yeah, yeah, fuck you very much."
"Now, Kel... don't you know it's not nice to upset the boy toys."
"Now Lionel... go sit down. I'm not ready for you yet. You've yet to make your dastardly appearance. Except for the whole Billy Bass thing."
"Which I have not yet forgiven you for."
"My ass bleeds. Sit."
"Lex is right, you are grouchy."
"SIT, Lionel. Or you don't get laid."
"Um, Kel?"
"What is it, Whit?"
"Um... nothing."
*sigh* "You're ticked off that you haven't gotten action lately. Hold your water, it's coming."
"Really?"
"Yes. You get to screw Clark. Now sit down and occupy Lionel."
"Okay. Wow. Thanks."
"You're welcome. God, now see that? Whitney is a *nice* one. Why can't you *all* be like Whitney? He's easy to please."
"Because we have more discriminating tastes?"
"Lex, stop being mean to Whitney. Jesus, it's like babysitting a bunch of five year olds. Fuck it, I'm going to Tahiti."
"What about your coffee?"
"I'll buy liquor on the plane. Coming, Whit?"
"Why does he get to go?"
"Because he'll be a nice quiet boytoy and not give me a migraine."
"That's not fair."
"Life's not fair. Deal."
The End
Author: Kel
Pairing: Clark/Lex as always
Rating: PG-13ish for language
Summary: Have you ever wondered what, exactly, inspires me to write? Meet The Muses. Lex, Clark, Lionel and Whitney.
Notes: Ghini TyNant, I ::heart:: you.
"How many of these things has she done now, anyway?"
"Aren't you keeping count?"
"No, that's your job."
"Bite me, farmboy."
"Guys, please. It's bad enough I write it, do I have to listen to it too?"
"Bite me, fangirl."
"Kiss my ass, Lex. You can be replaced, you know. Lionel's waiting just *right* over there."
"You wouldn't dare."
"Try me, Baldilocks."
"You can't talk to Lex like that."
"Buzz off, Superboy. You've got no room to complain. You get laid in almost every fic I write. Sit down, shut up, and look beautiful."
"You know something? You're getting awfully grouchy."
"Well, if a certain bald billionaire hadn't drunk all my latte, I'd have my caffeine fix and I wouldn't *be* Miss Bitchypants."
"Christ, is that all? Clark, here. Go to the store. Buy her some coffee. Hell, buy a whole coffee plantation."
"You can get that in the store?"
"Go!!"
"Yes ma'am! God! Bitch!"
"Yeah, yeah, fuck you very much."
"Now, Kel... don't you know it's not nice to upset the boy toys."
"Now Lionel... go sit down. I'm not ready for you yet. You've yet to make your dastardly appearance. Except for the whole Billy Bass thing."
"Which I have not yet forgiven you for."
"My ass bleeds. Sit."
"Lex is right, you are grouchy."
"SIT, Lionel. Or you don't get laid."
"Um, Kel?"
"What is it, Whit?"
"Um... nothing."
*sigh* "You're ticked off that you haven't gotten action lately. Hold your water, it's coming."
"Really?"
"Yes. You get to screw Clark. Now sit down and occupy Lionel."
"Okay. Wow. Thanks."
"You're welcome. God, now see that? Whitney is a *nice* one. Why can't you *all* be like Whitney? He's easy to please."
"Because we have more discriminating tastes?"
"Lex, stop being mean to Whitney. Jesus, it's like babysitting a bunch of five year olds. Fuck it, I'm going to Tahiti."
"What about your coffee?"
"I'll buy liquor on the plane. Coming, Whit?"
"Why does he get to go?"
"Because he'll be a nice quiet boytoy and not give me a migraine."
"That's not fair."
"Life's not fair. Deal."
The End