Title: Trivial 22: Bodice Ripping 101
Author: Kel
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Rating: PGish
Summary: In Which Clark Discovers Lex's Stash
Archive: Knock yourself out; http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=851654
Notes: KC and Ghini cooked it up, Amy demanded it, and who am I to deny? Voila.
"Lex!! Look at what I found in your library!!"
"You found books in my library, Clark. Why does that continue to be a source of amazement for you?"
"Because! Look! They're--they're--they're--"
"I think the term you're searching for is 'historical romance.' Or simply, romance."
"Romance novels!"
"You sound indignant, Clark."
"Romance novels???????"
"Yes, romance novels. Clarkie want a cracker?"
"Lex! *Romance* *novels*??"
"You seem to be having trouble grasping this concept."
"But-but--my *mom* reads these... things!"
"They're not things, they're books. LuthorCorp happens to own a publishing house."
"So??"
"I happen to enjoy reading a book where I don't have to think, Clark. You should try it sometime."
"Lex, do you *know* what's in those things?"
"Words? Chapters? Stories full of historical inaccuracies?"
"Sex!"
"Hence the term, romance."
"It's badly written sex!"
"What, you mean your loins have never burned at the sight of my manly spear?"
"I don't own anything that burns or quivers at the sight of anything."
"Quivers? Have you been raiding my stash, Clark?"
"Um... no?"
"Say it again, without the question mark."
"No?"
"You have, haven't you?"
"No?"
"Quivering mounds?"
"Okay!!
"So that's yes?"
"I might have read *one.* But that's it."
"And of course you weren't looking for more."
"No?"
"Which one did you read?"
"Um... the one with the pirate and the bad guy who wasn't the heir to the fortune."
"That only describes about fifteen of these Clark, the plot is less than original."
"He did the thing with the sword hilt--"
"Oh, now that *was* original. This one. So, do you want to play pirate and helpless maiden?"
"Do I have to wear a dress?"
"Of course; how else can I rip open your bodice to expose your heaving--"
"Lex, I don't have those."
"Oh, that's right. But yes, you still have to wear the dress. I've always wanted to be a bodice-ripper."
"Lex! I am not wearing a dress!"
"Your loss, Clark. Unless you want to rip my bodice open instead."
"Now that has possibilities."
"Kinky."
The End
Author: Kel
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Rating: PGish
Summary: In Which Clark Discovers Lex's Stash
Archive: Knock yourself out; http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=851654
Notes: KC and Ghini cooked it up, Amy demanded it, and who am I to deny? Voila.
"Lex!! Look at what I found in your library!!"
"You found books in my library, Clark. Why does that continue to be a source of amazement for you?"
"Because! Look! They're--they're--they're--"
"I think the term you're searching for is 'historical romance.' Or simply, romance."
"Romance novels!"
"You sound indignant, Clark."
"Romance novels???????"
"Yes, romance novels. Clarkie want a cracker?"
"Lex! *Romance* *novels*??"
"You seem to be having trouble grasping this concept."
"But-but--my *mom* reads these... things!"
"They're not things, they're books. LuthorCorp happens to own a publishing house."
"So??"
"I happen to enjoy reading a book where I don't have to think, Clark. You should try it sometime."
"Lex, do you *know* what's in those things?"
"Words? Chapters? Stories full of historical inaccuracies?"
"Sex!"
"Hence the term, romance."
"It's badly written sex!"
"What, you mean your loins have never burned at the sight of my manly spear?"
"I don't own anything that burns or quivers at the sight of anything."
"Quivers? Have you been raiding my stash, Clark?"
"Um... no?"
"Say it again, without the question mark."
"No?"
"You have, haven't you?"
"No?"
"Quivering mounds?"
"Okay!!
"So that's yes?"
"I might have read *one.* But that's it."
"And of course you weren't looking for more."
"No?"
"Which one did you read?"
"Um... the one with the pirate and the bad guy who wasn't the heir to the fortune."
"That only describes about fifteen of these Clark, the plot is less than original."
"He did the thing with the sword hilt--"
"Oh, now that *was* original. This one. So, do you want to play pirate and helpless maiden?"
"Do I have to wear a dress?"
"Of course; how else can I rip open your bodice to expose your heaving--"
"Lex, I don't have those."
"Oh, that's right. But yes, you still have to wear the dress. I've always wanted to be a bodice-ripper."
"Lex! I am not wearing a dress!"
"Your loss, Clark. Unless you want to rip my bodice open instead."
"Now that has possibilities."
"Kinky."
The End