Title: Trivial 24: Sticks And Stones May Break My Bones...
Author: Kel
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Rating: NC-17 for sex talk
Summary: In Which Clark And Lex Discover Gay Kinks Together
Archive: Knock yourself out; can also be found at: http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=851654
Notes: Too many people to count, but I'm gonna try. The following people contributed to the delinquency of this bunny... Amy. KC. Ghini TyNant. Alax.
"Clark, what are you looking at?"
"Um... nothing?"
"That's a gay porn site."
"Yeah? So?"
"I'm going to have to talk to Chloe about that whole Net-Nanny thing."
"Lex, I'm seventeen."
"Still not old enough to be looking at those kinds of websites."
"Don't tell me you didn't."
"Of course I did."
"So don't be a hypocrite."
"Did I say you couldn't? No. I just pointed out the simple fact that you're too young for these sites."
"It's a *little* late for you to try and protect my virtue here, Lex. I'm technically too young for your dick up my ass, Lex, but I don't see you lecturing me about *that*."
"Believe me, Clark, of all the things I'm interested in protecting about you, your youthful virtue is not one of them."
"I think I've just been insulted."
"Don't think, Clark. Just tell me what you're looking at. Hm... 'Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones But Whips And Chains Excite Me...' Interesting choice of site there, Clark."
"Yeah... well... um..."
"Right. I can just imagine. Whips and Chains, farmboy?"
"Right up there with blowjobs and handcuffs."
"Why, Clark... I never knew you had an inner kink-slut hidden away under that flannel."
"Yeah well... beat me bruise me make me bleed, kinky sex is what I need?"
"Without the question mark, Clark."
"Kinky sex is what I need!!"
"A little louder, I don't think the servants in the kitchens heard you."
"You get into this whole Dom thing, don't you, Lex?"
"Ah, only in absentia."
"Only in who-what-sia?"
"Absentia, Clark. Notice the root word 'absent' as in, not there. In absentia is control when I'm not there."
"We go from whips and chains to word power. Life with you is never dull."
"It wouldn't kill you to expand your vocabulary."
"Yes, Lex, more Lex, right there Lex, just like that Lex, harder Lex, faster Lex... deeper, Lex... I think my vocabulary is properly expanded."
"I'm talking outside the bedroom, Clark."
"Spoilsport."
"At least this conversation isn't degenerating into sex."
"No, no, it pretty much started out that way."
"While we're at it, what are your other kinks, Clark?"
"Well, um, that thing you do with your tongue?"
"It's called rimming, Clark. Tonguefucking. Asslicking. Take your pick."
"LEX!!! Rim--rimming--the R-word, all right?"
"The R-word? You're not five, you know."
"Yeah, yeah, up yours."
"Promises promises."
"Leeeeeeeex!!"
"You're just so much fun to tease. And you're cute when you blush. So go on. Other favorite kinks I should know about?"
"Um... blow jobs. Definitely. Giving blow jobs. And um... you... feet. I love your feet. They're just so... cute. Sucking your toes is fun."
"Good thing I'm not ticklish."
"Yeah. Um... when you get all... bossy."
"Bossy? *Bossy?* The word you are searching for, my innocent young friend, is dominant."
"Yeah. That."
"You can look at pictures of gay men in bondage with toys shoved up their asses, and yet you can't say rimming or dominant."
"If you don't stop making fun of me I won't tell you what my last kink is."
"Last? I can think of at least four other kinks that you haven't told me yet, but please, proceed."
"Bite me. And no, not literally, so don't even."
"Last kink, Clark?"
"I kinda... like that idea you had the other day."
"I have a lot of ideas, Clark. You're going to have to be a little more specific than that."
"The pirate and the maiden one."
"You like role playing. That doesn't surprise me. Let me guess... you like being the pirate?"
"Avast ye scurvy scallion, the wench is mine?"
"I'm not a wench, Clark, but for you... I'll be your damsel in distress any time."
"Can I even tie you up so I can rescue you?"
"You can tie me up and have your wicked way with me if that floats your boat."
"Really?"
"Down, boy. Don't you want to know what my kinks are?"
"Underage sex with the delivery boy?"
"No, that's the plotline of a bad porno."
"You mean there are good porn flicks?"
"Well, not exactly. Kinks or not, farmboy?"
"Okay, okay, yes. I'm waiting with bated breath here."
"We both share an affection for tonguefucking."
"My ass knows that and thanks you for it."
"Clark, please. No heckling the supervillian."
"You're not a supervillian. You're not even a criminal mastermind yet."
"Yes, but if you're nice to me, I might wear a mask."
"Ooooh, kinky."
"Says Mr. Surfing Gay Kink Sites. Can I continue?"
"Please!"
"Tonguefucking. In absentia domming--which yes, before you ask, I am going to explain."
"Good, because I've got no clue."
"Imagine this, Clark. You wake up in the morning, and on your pillow, you find two things. A long, thick plastic cock slathered in slick lubricant, and a note on the pillow. From me. Telling you that I expect you to wear this for me all day long. That I will be checking on you during the day, calling you after school and checking to see if you did what I told you or not. You'd be hot and hard all day, because of me. But I'm not there, Clark... only you and your obedience to me."
"Wow. That's... um.... yeah."
"Like that, do you, Clark?"
"Um... yeah."
"I thought you might. Just think of doing your chores like that."
"Lex... I'm really trying not to think of that right now."
"Oh, but I want you to think of it, Clark. I want you to think about it a lot."
"Lex?"
"Yes, Clark?"
"We're going to try all this stuff out, right?"
"Of course we are, Clark. And if you really like the whips and chains... this castle *does* come standard equipped with a dungeon."
"Last one there is a rotten meteor rock."
End
Author: Kel
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Rating: NC-17 for sex talk
Summary: In Which Clark And Lex Discover Gay Kinks Together
Archive: Knock yourself out; can also be found at: http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=851654
Notes: Too many people to count, but I'm gonna try. The following people contributed to the delinquency of this bunny... Amy. KC. Ghini TyNant. Alax.
"Clark, what are you looking at?"
"Um... nothing?"
"That's a gay porn site."
"Yeah? So?"
"I'm going to have to talk to Chloe about that whole Net-Nanny thing."
"Lex, I'm seventeen."
"Still not old enough to be looking at those kinds of websites."
"Don't tell me you didn't."
"Of course I did."
"So don't be a hypocrite."
"Did I say you couldn't? No. I just pointed out the simple fact that you're too young for these sites."
"It's a *little* late for you to try and protect my virtue here, Lex. I'm technically too young for your dick up my ass, Lex, but I don't see you lecturing me about *that*."
"Believe me, Clark, of all the things I'm interested in protecting about you, your youthful virtue is not one of them."
"I think I've just been insulted."
"Don't think, Clark. Just tell me what you're looking at. Hm... 'Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones But Whips And Chains Excite Me...' Interesting choice of site there, Clark."
"Yeah... well... um..."
"Right. I can just imagine. Whips and Chains, farmboy?"
"Right up there with blowjobs and handcuffs."
"Why, Clark... I never knew you had an inner kink-slut hidden away under that flannel."
"Yeah well... beat me bruise me make me bleed, kinky sex is what I need?"
"Without the question mark, Clark."
"Kinky sex is what I need!!"
"A little louder, I don't think the servants in the kitchens heard you."
"You get into this whole Dom thing, don't you, Lex?"
"Ah, only in absentia."
"Only in who-what-sia?"
"Absentia, Clark. Notice the root word 'absent' as in, not there. In absentia is control when I'm not there."
"We go from whips and chains to word power. Life with you is never dull."
"It wouldn't kill you to expand your vocabulary."
"Yes, Lex, more Lex, right there Lex, just like that Lex, harder Lex, faster Lex... deeper, Lex... I think my vocabulary is properly expanded."
"I'm talking outside the bedroom, Clark."
"Spoilsport."
"At least this conversation isn't degenerating into sex."
"No, no, it pretty much started out that way."
"While we're at it, what are your other kinks, Clark?"
"Well, um, that thing you do with your tongue?"
"It's called rimming, Clark. Tonguefucking. Asslicking. Take your pick."
"LEX!!! Rim--rimming--the R-word, all right?"
"The R-word? You're not five, you know."
"Yeah, yeah, up yours."
"Promises promises."
"Leeeeeeeex!!"
"You're just so much fun to tease. And you're cute when you blush. So go on. Other favorite kinks I should know about?"
"Um... blow jobs. Definitely. Giving blow jobs. And um... you... feet. I love your feet. They're just so... cute. Sucking your toes is fun."
"Good thing I'm not ticklish."
"Yeah. Um... when you get all... bossy."
"Bossy? *Bossy?* The word you are searching for, my innocent young friend, is dominant."
"Yeah. That."
"You can look at pictures of gay men in bondage with toys shoved up their asses, and yet you can't say rimming or dominant."
"If you don't stop making fun of me I won't tell you what my last kink is."
"Last? I can think of at least four other kinks that you haven't told me yet, but please, proceed."
"Bite me. And no, not literally, so don't even."
"Last kink, Clark?"
"I kinda... like that idea you had the other day."
"I have a lot of ideas, Clark. You're going to have to be a little more specific than that."
"The pirate and the maiden one."
"You like role playing. That doesn't surprise me. Let me guess... you like being the pirate?"
"Avast ye scurvy scallion, the wench is mine?"
"I'm not a wench, Clark, but for you... I'll be your damsel in distress any time."
"Can I even tie you up so I can rescue you?"
"You can tie me up and have your wicked way with me if that floats your boat."
"Really?"
"Down, boy. Don't you want to know what my kinks are?"
"Underage sex with the delivery boy?"
"No, that's the plotline of a bad porno."
"You mean there are good porn flicks?"
"Well, not exactly. Kinks or not, farmboy?"
"Okay, okay, yes. I'm waiting with bated breath here."
"We both share an affection for tonguefucking."
"My ass knows that and thanks you for it."
"Clark, please. No heckling the supervillian."
"You're not a supervillian. You're not even a criminal mastermind yet."
"Yes, but if you're nice to me, I might wear a mask."
"Ooooh, kinky."
"Says Mr. Surfing Gay Kink Sites. Can I continue?"
"Please!"
"Tonguefucking. In absentia domming--which yes, before you ask, I am going to explain."
"Good, because I've got no clue."
"Imagine this, Clark. You wake up in the morning, and on your pillow, you find two things. A long, thick plastic cock slathered in slick lubricant, and a note on the pillow. From me. Telling you that I expect you to wear this for me all day long. That I will be checking on you during the day, calling you after school and checking to see if you did what I told you or not. You'd be hot and hard all day, because of me. But I'm not there, Clark... only you and your obedience to me."
"Wow. That's... um.... yeah."
"Like that, do you, Clark?"
"Um... yeah."
"I thought you might. Just think of doing your chores like that."
"Lex... I'm really trying not to think of that right now."
"Oh, but I want you to think of it, Clark. I want you to think about it a lot."
"Lex?"
"Yes, Clark?"
"We're going to try all this stuff out, right?"
"Of course we are, Clark. And if you really like the whips and chains... this castle *does* come standard equipped with a dungeon."
"Last one there is a rotten meteor rock."
End