Title: Trivial 26: The Hills Are Alive With The Sound Of Silence
Author: Kel
Rating: PG13
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Summary: In Which Clark, Lex, and Chloe Discover Jinxing
Notes: Amy, KC, Ghini. As always, the guilty parties.
Archive: Knock yourself out.
"So what are we watching today? Redneck Trailer Decoration?"
"Smartass. I'm just channel surfing."
"Channel surfing, the favored pastime of every red-blooded male on the planet."
"Jerk. I know you channel surf too."
"Yes, but only through the porn channels, Clark. Otherwise, I know what I'm going to watch and I sit down to watch it."
"Okay. Okay. Whatever. I'm not going to argue your television-watching choices. Just sit there, shut up, and yell if you see something fun."
"I don't think your idea of fun and my idea of fun are quite the same thing."
"Well, considering that I don't make watching Discovery Channel a religious experience like you do... no, we don't have the same ideas of fun. But you've got like a *thousand* channels here. There's got to be *something* we can watch togehter and agree on."
"I told you, if they'd put Warrior Angel in the JLA, then I'd watch that."
"Warrior Angel and JLA aren't even in the same universe!"
"Semantics."
"I could make a dirty joke out of that."
"Flip channels, farmboy."
"Yes sir. Oooh, Knight Rider."
"Flip."
"What? I can't believe a car guy like you doesn't like KITT."
"KITT is fine. It's Hasselhoff that I can't stand."
"So that would be why you don't watch Baywatch."
"That, and the fact that boucing fake breasts just don't do it for me, or hadn't you noticed, Clark?"
"But Victoria--"
"Had the fakest of fake. Flip, Clark.
"Okay, okay. Oooh, there's Scooby Doo."
"Flip."
"Powerpuff Girls?"
"Flip."
"Sesame Street."
"Flip."
"Electric Company... Square One... Spiderman!"
"Flip. Flip. Flip. Kill Elmo and keep flipping."
"Grouch. I *like* Elmo."
"Clark, I was one of those people who paid a thousand dollars to have a Tickle-Me-Elmo run over by a steamroller. Flip."
"This is the song, La la la la, Elmo's song..."
"Clark, do not make me have to kill you. Necrophilia isn't nearly as fun as it sounds, and believe me, I have experience."
"Oscar. And that's sick, Lex. Who was the experience, or do I even want to know the dearly departed?"
"She of the fake breast set."
"That's just..."
"Flip, Clark. Or do you have a Muppet fetish I should know about?"
"Geeze. Oh, man. Not Teenage Angst In The Zipcode."
"Not what?"
"Beverly Hills, 90210."
"Lame--" "Lame--"
"Jinx!!"
"Clark, what's--"
"No talking! You can't talk until someone says your name."
*raised eyebrow*
"Okay. You get to Jinx someone when you say the same they do at the same time they said it. Like you and me, we just both said Lame. So I got to Jinx you cause you didn't Jinx me first. And now you can't talk until someone says your name."
*silent Luthor glare.*
"Guess that means Sesame street!!"
*more Luthor glaring*
"Awww, man. Sesame Street's going off. But ooh, look!! Teletubbies!!"
*snatching the remote control*
"Leeeeeeeeeeex! Gimmie the--"
"Aha, farmboy! Gotcha!"
"That's not fair! You tricked me!"
"Deal with it. Ooh, look, CNN."
*snoring noises*
"Ooh, look, a sleeping Clark. I wonder if he's a Tickle-Me-Clark."
"Not even!"
"Oh. I thought you were sleeping."
"Bite me."
"Don't you wish."
"Go back to the teletubbies."
"No. I am not going back to the Teletubbies."
"Pleeeeeeease?"
"No."
"You're being mean to me, Lex."
"Deal."
"Jerk." "I know, I know, Jerk."
"Jinx!" "Jinx, Clark."
*silent staring*
*remote control war*
*flip to CNN*
*staring at the phone*
*more channel surfing*
*doorbell*
*racing to answer*
"Hi, guys. Glad to see you too, and it's wonderful to know I'm wanted."
*gestures to come in*
"Um... okay. Did I like, do something wrong to get this silent treatment?"
*rapid shaking of two heads*
"And so why do I think I hear rattling?"
*indignant look from Clark*
"Um... guys... come on. This is starting to piss me off here."
*pleading looks from two little faces*
*smack to Clark* "Okay, come on, fun's over, spill it."
*glare*
"Come *on* guys, this isn't funny!"
*double glares*
*smack again to Clark* "Come on, Clark, this isn't--"
"THANK YOU, CHLOE!!!!!!"
"L--mmpph!!"
"No! you can't!!!"
"Mh mppfffh mfff? I mean, I can't what?"
"You can't say his name. We were double Jinxed."
*evil glare from Lex.*
"I so wouldn't want to be you, Clark. Not when *he* gets hold of you."
*growl of agreement*
"No way, Chloe. He won't hurt me. I'm too cute."
"I don't know, Clark... that glare is pretty intense."
*another growl*
"Okay... I think I came for this interview at a bad time. Again. First it was you five year olds playing sex games with flavored Coke. Now you're jinxing each other into silent slavery and while I appreciate kink in my friends... I think I'm going to do him a favor."
"Lex--" "Lex--"
"JINX!" *satisfied grin* "Thank you, Chloe."
"You're welcome, Lex."
*glare at Chloe*
"Come on, farmboy... I have a lot better uses for that mouth than just talking."
"Okay guys, not that I wouldn't love to watch that, but you know... virgin eyes and all that. I'm outta here. Thanks for the unjinx, and... God... both of you... grow up!"
"Goodbye, Chloe." *leer* "Come on, my silent little farmboy friend. Have you got some payback coming."
End
Author: Kel
Rating: PG13
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Summary: In Which Clark, Lex, and Chloe Discover Jinxing
Notes: Amy, KC, Ghini. As always, the guilty parties.
Archive: Knock yourself out.
"So what are we watching today? Redneck Trailer Decoration?"
"Smartass. I'm just channel surfing."
"Channel surfing, the favored pastime of every red-blooded male on the planet."
"Jerk. I know you channel surf too."
"Yes, but only through the porn channels, Clark. Otherwise, I know what I'm going to watch and I sit down to watch it."
"Okay. Okay. Whatever. I'm not going to argue your television-watching choices. Just sit there, shut up, and yell if you see something fun."
"I don't think your idea of fun and my idea of fun are quite the same thing."
"Well, considering that I don't make watching Discovery Channel a religious experience like you do... no, we don't have the same ideas of fun. But you've got like a *thousand* channels here. There's got to be *something* we can watch togehter and agree on."
"I told you, if they'd put Warrior Angel in the JLA, then I'd watch that."
"Warrior Angel and JLA aren't even in the same universe!"
"Semantics."
"I could make a dirty joke out of that."
"Flip channels, farmboy."
"Yes sir. Oooh, Knight Rider."
"Flip."
"What? I can't believe a car guy like you doesn't like KITT."
"KITT is fine. It's Hasselhoff that I can't stand."
"So that would be why you don't watch Baywatch."
"That, and the fact that boucing fake breasts just don't do it for me, or hadn't you noticed, Clark?"
"But Victoria--"
"Had the fakest of fake. Flip, Clark.
"Okay, okay. Oooh, there's Scooby Doo."
"Flip."
"Powerpuff Girls?"
"Flip."
"Sesame Street."
"Flip."
"Electric Company... Square One... Spiderman!"
"Flip. Flip. Flip. Kill Elmo and keep flipping."
"Grouch. I *like* Elmo."
"Clark, I was one of those people who paid a thousand dollars to have a Tickle-Me-Elmo run over by a steamroller. Flip."
"This is the song, La la la la, Elmo's song..."
"Clark, do not make me have to kill you. Necrophilia isn't nearly as fun as it sounds, and believe me, I have experience."
"Oscar. And that's sick, Lex. Who was the experience, or do I even want to know the dearly departed?"
"She of the fake breast set."
"That's just..."
"Flip, Clark. Or do you have a Muppet fetish I should know about?"
"Geeze. Oh, man. Not Teenage Angst In The Zipcode."
"Not what?"
"Beverly Hills, 90210."
"Lame--" "Lame--"
"Jinx!!"
"Clark, what's--"
"No talking! You can't talk until someone says your name."
*raised eyebrow*
"Okay. You get to Jinx someone when you say the same they do at the same time they said it. Like you and me, we just both said Lame. So I got to Jinx you cause you didn't Jinx me first. And now you can't talk until someone says your name."
*silent Luthor glare.*
"Guess that means Sesame street!!"
*more Luthor glaring*
"Awww, man. Sesame Street's going off. But ooh, look!! Teletubbies!!"
*snatching the remote control*
"Leeeeeeeeeeex! Gimmie the--"
"Aha, farmboy! Gotcha!"
"That's not fair! You tricked me!"
"Deal with it. Ooh, look, CNN."
*snoring noises*
"Ooh, look, a sleeping Clark. I wonder if he's a Tickle-Me-Clark."
"Not even!"
"Oh. I thought you were sleeping."
"Bite me."
"Don't you wish."
"Go back to the teletubbies."
"No. I am not going back to the Teletubbies."
"Pleeeeeeease?"
"No."
"You're being mean to me, Lex."
"Deal."
"Jerk." "I know, I know, Jerk."
"Jinx!" "Jinx, Clark."
*silent staring*
*remote control war*
*flip to CNN*
*staring at the phone*
*more channel surfing*
*doorbell*
*racing to answer*
"Hi, guys. Glad to see you too, and it's wonderful to know I'm wanted."
*gestures to come in*
"Um... okay. Did I like, do something wrong to get this silent treatment?"
*rapid shaking of two heads*
"And so why do I think I hear rattling?"
*indignant look from Clark*
"Um... guys... come on. This is starting to piss me off here."
*pleading looks from two little faces*
*smack to Clark* "Okay, come on, fun's over, spill it."
*glare*
"Come *on* guys, this isn't funny!"
*double glares*
*smack again to Clark* "Come on, Clark, this isn't--"
"THANK YOU, CHLOE!!!!!!"
"L--mmpph!!"
"No! you can't!!!"
"Mh mppfffh mfff? I mean, I can't what?"
"You can't say his name. We were double Jinxed."
*evil glare from Lex.*
"I so wouldn't want to be you, Clark. Not when *he* gets hold of you."
*growl of agreement*
"No way, Chloe. He won't hurt me. I'm too cute."
"I don't know, Clark... that glare is pretty intense."
*another growl*
"Okay... I think I came for this interview at a bad time. Again. First it was you five year olds playing sex games with flavored Coke. Now you're jinxing each other into silent slavery and while I appreciate kink in my friends... I think I'm going to do him a favor."
"Lex--" "Lex--"
"JINX!" *satisfied grin* "Thank you, Chloe."
"You're welcome, Lex."
*glare at Chloe*
"Come on, farmboy... I have a lot better uses for that mouth than just talking."
"Okay guys, not that I wouldn't love to watch that, but you know... virgin eyes and all that. I'm outta here. Thanks for the unjinx, and... God... both of you... grow up!"
"Goodbye, Chloe." *leer* "Come on, my silent little farmboy friend. Have you got some payback coming."
End