Character: Snape
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling. Shrek belongs to DreamWorks pictures. "I Wanna Stay Home Today" belongs to the people who sang it. Snape owns his boom box and Snape belongs to JK Rowling so I doubly don't own that. I own my Padfoot doggie though, but that has nothing to do with the story.
It was the beginning of the new Hogwarts year and of course Dumbledore made his long boring speech about the school grounds and blah blah blah. He realized people at the Slytherin table were falling asleep. "Ummm… does any of the teachers want to add anything?" asked Dumbledore. "I would," said Snape. "Oh no" thought Harry "This can't be good." Suddenly Snape took out a muggle boom box and the sound of the song from the, muggle movie Shrek, "I Wanna Stay Home Today" filled the room as Snape broke out in song.I believe in Gryffindor punishment
Your destiny is like diversion
Now it seems I'm gonna rip your head off
I'm greasy without provision
Seems I've made the right decision
Try to turn back now, it might be too late
And it's off to the dungeon and back again
Same dumb kids, same situation
The happiness is gone as if to say
I wanna stay home today
(Don't wanna go out)
If anyone comes to whine
(Gonna get thrown out)
I wanna stay home today
(Don't want no Gryffindors)
No way
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Eating crumpets drinking tea
I don't need nobody but me
What I wouldn't give just to be left alone
I wanna be a DADA teacher someday
And know what it feels like to get it taken away
Watch me march to the wave of my own wand
And it's off to the classroom and back again
Same old day, same Neville Longbottom
The happiness is gone as if to say
I wanna stay home today
(Don't wanna go out)
If anyone comes to whine
(Gonna get thrown out)
I wanna stay home today
(Don't want no Potter gang)
No way
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Potions, Potions every day now
Gryffindors just stay away now
Don't Come another day
Don't Come another day
I wanna stay home today
I wanna stay home today,
I wanna stay home, stay home, stay home, stay h-
I wanna stay home today
(Don't wanna go out)
If anyone comes to whine
(Gonna get thrown out)
I wanna stay home today
(Don't want no Hufflepuffs either)
No way
Yeah, yeah, yeah
I wanna stay home
(Don't wanna go out)
If anyone comes to whine
(Gonna get thrown out)
I wanna stay home today
(Don't want no Dumbledore)
No way
Yeah, yeah, yeah
The great hall cheered and a young Slytherin girl ran up to give her favorite teacher a hug. Harry and the rest of the Gryffindors looked dumbstruck at each other. Snape could actually sing, and he proved it. He won the 25 Galleons that they bet him 3 months ago
The End