Title: Trivial 30: 100% Of Your Daily Nutritional Requirement
Author: Kel
Pairing: Lex/Clark
Rating: PG
Summary: In Which Lex And Clark Go To The Movies
Archive: Knock Yourself Out
Notes: For Henry Jones Jr., because he's totally swell. :) Also for Amy because she helped me find out that my fingers really *don't* work as fast as my brain.
"Lex?"
"Hmm?"
"I think it's *so* cool that you're taking me out to the movies."
"Calm down, Clark. It's just a movie."
"Yeah, but it's *us* at a *movie.* It's..."
"Not a date."
"Yeah, yeah, I know. Can't tell anyone. But hey, I know it and you know it."
"What do you want?"
"Popcorn with lots and lots of butter. Um... large Pepsi, Goobers, Raisinettes, and a pack of junior mints."
"Ah, that solves that question."
"What question?"
"Why you're always minty fresh."
*blush*
"How on earth are you going to pack away all that junk? Though I know I should know better than to ask."
"It's not junk."
"Clark, it's nothing but empty calories."
"They are not. Look! The popcorn is a vegetable--made from corn. And look, it's got butter on it, which is made from milk and stuff."
"Clark, it's fluffy kernels of mostly air dipped in melted butter-flavored Crisco."
"That's what you think."
"No, that's what I know. LuthorCorp Manufacturing provides artifically butter-flavored grease to half the movie theaters in the country."
"Then it's your fault I'm eating grease on my popcorn. They used to have real butter."
"All right. I give. I'm not going to argue that with you any longer."
"Good, cause I'm right."
"Right. Can you carry all this?"
"Yeah. Just stuff the mints in my shirt pocket for me, and the candy in my jeans."
"... put my hand down your pants, and I bet I feel nuts..."
"LEX! What the hell are you singing?"
"Hm, me? Oh. The Bad Touch. And before you ask, no. You're not old enough to listen to that CD."
"Hey, Ripley? Bite my ass."
*pinch* "How's that instead, since we're in a public place? And I told you never call me that in public."
"You're not touching my nuts... or my Goobers."
"I don't want your Goobers."
"They're good for you. You get to eat chocolate covered nuts."
"First of all, I can do that any time I want to--I have you and a bottle of Hershey's Syrup. Second... that can't possibly be good for you."
"Uh huh. Peanuts provide protein and energy and stuff."
"And I suppose the raisins in the Raisinettes round out your food groups as fruit?"
"You got it. Veggie popcorn, meaty proteiny nuts--"
"Which sounds wrong on *many* levels."
"Fruity Raisinettes, and the added bonus of chocolate for dessert, followed by after-dinner mints."
"Clark... you are thoroughly, thoroughly odd."
"But you love me anyway."
"Yes, I do."
"So what are we going to see?"
"Men in Black 2."
"Oh man. Way cool. I always wonder if I'm going to get hooked up with the MiB."
*deep sigh* "Fictional conspiracy."
"Well, yeah, but..."
"Don't make me have to hurt you... Ghini."
"You won't hurt me. I'm too cute."
"No, I won't hurt you because trying to hurt YOU usually ends up hurting ME. I nearly broke my toe the last time I kicked you."
"Yeah, but the foot rub and toe sucking you got made up for it, right?"
"There was toe sucking? That's right, there was. Yes, yes, I admit... that did make up for it... almost."
"So kick me again, make yourself feel better, and when we get back home, I'll suck your toes again and make them feel better."
"Now that's a possibility... but you're hung up on my toes."
"They're cute toes."
"Go! Christ. I can't believe I'm feeding you all this sugar. By the time the movie is over, I'll be peeling you off the ceiling."
"Nope. Just off you, Lex. Just off you."
The End
Author: Kel
Pairing: Lex/Clark
Rating: PG
Summary: In Which Lex And Clark Go To The Movies
Archive: Knock Yourself Out
Notes: For Henry Jones Jr., because he's totally swell. :) Also for Amy because she helped me find out that my fingers really *don't* work as fast as my brain.
"Lex?"
"Hmm?"
"I think it's *so* cool that you're taking me out to the movies."
"Calm down, Clark. It's just a movie."
"Yeah, but it's *us* at a *movie.* It's..."
"Not a date."
"Yeah, yeah, I know. Can't tell anyone. But hey, I know it and you know it."
"What do you want?"
"Popcorn with lots and lots of butter. Um... large Pepsi, Goobers, Raisinettes, and a pack of junior mints."
"Ah, that solves that question."
"What question?"
"Why you're always minty fresh."
*blush*
"How on earth are you going to pack away all that junk? Though I know I should know better than to ask."
"It's not junk."
"Clark, it's nothing but empty calories."
"They are not. Look! The popcorn is a vegetable--made from corn. And look, it's got butter on it, which is made from milk and stuff."
"Clark, it's fluffy kernels of mostly air dipped in melted butter-flavored Crisco."
"That's what you think."
"No, that's what I know. LuthorCorp Manufacturing provides artifically butter-flavored grease to half the movie theaters in the country."
"Then it's your fault I'm eating grease on my popcorn. They used to have real butter."
"All right. I give. I'm not going to argue that with you any longer."
"Good, cause I'm right."
"Right. Can you carry all this?"
"Yeah. Just stuff the mints in my shirt pocket for me, and the candy in my jeans."
"... put my hand down your pants, and I bet I feel nuts..."
"LEX! What the hell are you singing?"
"Hm, me? Oh. The Bad Touch. And before you ask, no. You're not old enough to listen to that CD."
"Hey, Ripley? Bite my ass."
*pinch* "How's that instead, since we're in a public place? And I told you never call me that in public."
"You're not touching my nuts... or my Goobers."
"I don't want your Goobers."
"They're good for you. You get to eat chocolate covered nuts."
"First of all, I can do that any time I want to--I have you and a bottle of Hershey's Syrup. Second... that can't possibly be good for you."
"Uh huh. Peanuts provide protein and energy and stuff."
"And I suppose the raisins in the Raisinettes round out your food groups as fruit?"
"You got it. Veggie popcorn, meaty proteiny nuts--"
"Which sounds wrong on *many* levels."
"Fruity Raisinettes, and the added bonus of chocolate for dessert, followed by after-dinner mints."
"Clark... you are thoroughly, thoroughly odd."
"But you love me anyway."
"Yes, I do."
"So what are we going to see?"
"Men in Black 2."
"Oh man. Way cool. I always wonder if I'm going to get hooked up with the MiB."
*deep sigh* "Fictional conspiracy."
"Well, yeah, but..."
"Don't make me have to hurt you... Ghini."
"You won't hurt me. I'm too cute."
"No, I won't hurt you because trying to hurt YOU usually ends up hurting ME. I nearly broke my toe the last time I kicked you."
"Yeah, but the foot rub and toe sucking you got made up for it, right?"
"There was toe sucking? That's right, there was. Yes, yes, I admit... that did make up for it... almost."
"So kick me again, make yourself feel better, and when we get back home, I'll suck your toes again and make them feel better."
"Now that's a possibility... but you're hung up on my toes."
"They're cute toes."
"Go! Christ. I can't believe I'm feeding you all this sugar. By the time the movie is over, I'll be peeling you off the ceiling."
"Nope. Just off you, Lex. Just off you."
The End