Title: Trivial 32: Art imitating Life Imitating Art...
Author: Kel
Rating: R-ish
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Summary: In Which Lex Discovers Clark's Hobby
Notes: Giggles to Rogue for suggesting Clark as a fanfic writer; I took it the step further and made him a slasher. Love and hugs to amy for Lambo.
"Clark, you've been at the computer for the last two hours."
"Yeah, but you've been working and I didn't want to get in your way. So I just absconded with your laptop while you're on the desktop."
"You can abscond with my laptop anytime you want to, but you haven't said two words to me other than, 'Hi, Ripley' and 'How's it hanging?' To which I replied 'Tight and right,' and didn't even get a blink. So either you're no longer interested in the state of my cock, or you're preoccupied."
"Huh? Me? Preoccupied?"
"All right, that does it. Give me the laptop, Lambo. Give me the laptop and nobody gets hurt."
"Lex!!! You can't take my--"
"Claaaark... you have some explaining to do. Namely, why you're writing... fairly decent porn, it looks like, under the unlikely pen name of Alexander the Fabulous."
"Um... because I needed a hobby?"
"Clark, you have a bit too much spare time on your hands. So, tell me, who is doing whom?"
"Um... well... um... you see... I write... about... different shows."
"I see... and they would be?"
"Um... that cop show you like, the Sentinel. Then... Highlander. Um.... Spike. And then.... comicbooks."
"I'm sorry, Clark, I didn't get that last one, you ran it all together. Did you say... comic books?"
"Yes!!"
"You don't have to yell, Clark. Just don't mumble."
"Lex! Gimmie back my stories!"
"Calm down, Clark. I'm just reading."
"You can't!!!"
"I assure you I can, Clark. I am over the age of seventeen, and I am allowed to read NC-17 rated things."
"But they're *mine!*"
"Actually they're public domain since you published them on the internet."
"Lex!! I wrote them!"
"And very well, it appears. You have quite a few fans here, it seems. And that's a lovely shade of red for you, Clark."
"Kiss my ass and lemme have the computer back!"
"Not until I'm done. You've got quite the list here... only two Jim/Blair? I'm surprised. But... oh, what's this? Warrior Angel, Warrior Angel, Warrior Angel... Clark, is there something I should know about? You've got... ten Warrior Angel fics here." *pause* "Or should I just be flattered?"
"Flattered."
"If you blush any hotter, I can use you for a sun lamp."
"Can I please have the laptop back?"
"Only if you tell me who Warrior Angel is in a relationship with."
"The Flash."
"Flash? Warrior Angel and Flash?"
"Yes. Warrior Angel and Flash."
"This wouldn't be because of the person who voices Flash, would it? Same person from the Urban Legends DVD you rooked me into watching with you?"
"Hey, Warrior Angel's gotta get his action somewhere."
"With the Flash."
"Yes, with Flash! Cause Flash is... cool! And funny. And fast. And--"
"Spare me, please. I don't need a listing of all of Flash's good qualities. Although, apparently, he seems to be doing quite well in the hung department."
"I can't believe you're reading my stories."
"That position... shouldn't be possible for a normal human. Granted, neither Wally or Angel are human..."
"Lex. Put the laptop down."
"I want to keep reading. This is... interesting. Do you really think that I'm a--"
"Lex!!"
"Okay, okay." *pause* "There. It's down. It's closed. The URL is forever committed to my memory though."
"Lex, if I see a new person posting about my stories, I'm going to know it's you."
"I wouldn't be stroking your ego. I'd be stroking other things not attached to your ego."
"Oh. Um. Well. In that case, read away. Wouldn't want to deny you your... strokage."
The End
Author: Kel
Rating: R-ish
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Summary: In Which Lex Discovers Clark's Hobby
Notes: Giggles to Rogue for suggesting Clark as a fanfic writer; I took it the step further and made him a slasher. Love and hugs to amy for Lambo.
"Clark, you've been at the computer for the last two hours."
"Yeah, but you've been working and I didn't want to get in your way. So I just absconded with your laptop while you're on the desktop."
"You can abscond with my laptop anytime you want to, but you haven't said two words to me other than, 'Hi, Ripley' and 'How's it hanging?' To which I replied 'Tight and right,' and didn't even get a blink. So either you're no longer interested in the state of my cock, or you're preoccupied."
"Huh? Me? Preoccupied?"
"All right, that does it. Give me the laptop, Lambo. Give me the laptop and nobody gets hurt."
"Lex!!! You can't take my--"
"Claaaark... you have some explaining to do. Namely, why you're writing... fairly decent porn, it looks like, under the unlikely pen name of Alexander the Fabulous."
"Um... because I needed a hobby?"
"Clark, you have a bit too much spare time on your hands. So, tell me, who is doing whom?"
"Um... well... um... you see... I write... about... different shows."
"I see... and they would be?"
"Um... that cop show you like, the Sentinel. Then... Highlander. Um.... Spike. And then.... comicbooks."
"I'm sorry, Clark, I didn't get that last one, you ran it all together. Did you say... comic books?"
"Yes!!"
"You don't have to yell, Clark. Just don't mumble."
"Lex! Gimmie back my stories!"
"Calm down, Clark. I'm just reading."
"You can't!!!"
"I assure you I can, Clark. I am over the age of seventeen, and I am allowed to read NC-17 rated things."
"But they're *mine!*"
"Actually they're public domain since you published them on the internet."
"Lex!! I wrote them!"
"And very well, it appears. You have quite a few fans here, it seems. And that's a lovely shade of red for you, Clark."
"Kiss my ass and lemme have the computer back!"
"Not until I'm done. You've got quite the list here... only two Jim/Blair? I'm surprised. But... oh, what's this? Warrior Angel, Warrior Angel, Warrior Angel... Clark, is there something I should know about? You've got... ten Warrior Angel fics here." *pause* "Or should I just be flattered?"
"Flattered."
"If you blush any hotter, I can use you for a sun lamp."
"Can I please have the laptop back?"
"Only if you tell me who Warrior Angel is in a relationship with."
"The Flash."
"Flash? Warrior Angel and Flash?"
"Yes. Warrior Angel and Flash."
"This wouldn't be because of the person who voices Flash, would it? Same person from the Urban Legends DVD you rooked me into watching with you?"
"Hey, Warrior Angel's gotta get his action somewhere."
"With the Flash."
"Yes, with Flash! Cause Flash is... cool! And funny. And fast. And--"
"Spare me, please. I don't need a listing of all of Flash's good qualities. Although, apparently, he seems to be doing quite well in the hung department."
"I can't believe you're reading my stories."
"That position... shouldn't be possible for a normal human. Granted, neither Wally or Angel are human..."
"Lex. Put the laptop down."
"I want to keep reading. This is... interesting. Do you really think that I'm a--"
"Lex!!"
"Okay, okay." *pause* "There. It's down. It's closed. The URL is forever committed to my memory though."
"Lex, if I see a new person posting about my stories, I'm going to know it's you."
"I wouldn't be stroking your ego. I'd be stroking other things not attached to your ego."
"Oh. Um. Well. In that case, read away. Wouldn't want to deny you your... strokage."
The End