Title: Trivial 39: A Dish Best Served Cold
Author: Kel
Rating: NC-17ish
Pairing: Lex/Clark
Summary: In Which Clark Receives A Phone Call
Archive: Knock Yourself Out
Notes: Blame my inner Trekker for the title; it's one of Khan's myriad references to Moby Dick in ST II: The Wrath of Khan.
*ring* *ring* *ring*
"Hello?"
"Hello, handsome."
"Hey, Pete."
"Pete? Unless I've changed--oh, I've caught you at a bad time, haven't I?"
"Yeah. You could say that. Mom and Dad are eating dinner right now and they're waiting for me."
"Well, they'll just have to wait now, won't they?"
"You're mean, you know that?"
"I pride myself on it. I take great pains to be that."
"You're *not* all that, my friend."
"I'm truly hurt you think that. What was that thump?"
"I boosted myself up on the counter. Mom'll kill me, but it's comfortable."
"Ever jerked off while you were sitting up there?"
"I'm hanging up the phone now."
"Then I guess that means you don't want to hear about tonight's plans, hmm?"
"We have... plans?"
"I do. And if you're... sufficiently repentant... they could involve you too."
"Suff--"
"Do you want to hear about them or not?"
"I guess?"
"Without the question mark."
"I guess."
"You don't sound too enthused... don't I excite you anymore?"
"You're pouting."
"I'm just wondering if you're getting tired of me."
"You know I'm not. This... is just not a good time."
"Too many other ears around?"
"Something like that."
"Then just listen. When I'm done you can answer me yes or no."
"Okay." *muffled* "In just a minute, Dad. Pete needs this stuff for school."
*more muffled mumbling*
"Sorry, man."
"No problem, Clark. I know you like to watch me, so tonight, I'm going to let you. Make you, even. I'm going to spread myself out in the middle of the bed and just... touch myself. Let you watch me jerk myself off... make you watch me slide my fingers in my ass--"
"Oh man. You're fucking evil."
"I do try, Clark."
"You know just what you're doing, don't you?"
"Telling my boyfriend what I have planned for him tonight?"
"I hate you. Have I told you that lately?"
"You don't hate me."
"At this moment? Yes, I do."
"No, Clark. At this moment? You're hard and wishing you could shove it down my throat and choke me on it."
"You got it in one."
"Because if I had a mouthful of your cock, I wouldn't be talking. Just... sucking."
"Which... would be a *really* nice thing."
"That I wouldn't be talking? Or that I'd be sucking your cock?"
"Both?"
"Without the question mark, please. I'll break you of the habit yet."
"Both!" *muffled* "Sorry, Mom. I'm just helping Pete study. Five more minutes, I promise."
"You know, Clark... I'm beginning to think you have a secret fondness for Pete."
"Not in the slightest. Get back to what you were doing."
"You're getting awfully bossy, Clark. Does that mean our plans are going to be changing? You're going to tie me up and get that wicked little glint in your eye as you fuck me--"
"You realize I'm going to have to kill you for this."
*chuckle* "I haven't done anything. Just made one innocent... little... call."
"My ass."
"What about your ass? It's a very nice ass. It's just the right size, and it's nice and tight and hot. And oh so wonderful to fuck. The way your ass just grips my cock--"
"*Please!*"
"Begging for it now. I should do this more often. I love when you beg, Clark. You close your eyes, did you know that? You close your eyes and tilt your head back and give me your throat, begging me to suck you, fuck you, touch you and taste you...God."
"Wh--what are you d-doing?"
"Jerking off, Clark. These thoughts... just so hot."
"Fuck."
"Tonight. I swear it." *muffled grunting*
"*Fuck!* Did you--"
"I'll see you tonight, Clark."
*click*
"Motherfucker."
"Clark Kent! Where did you learn language like that?"
"At school, Mom."
"Well... come on back in here and finish your dinner. I don't want to hear you talking like that in this house again, young man."
"Probably that damned Luthor's fault."
"Jonathan! Watch *your* language!"
"You all right, son? You look kinda... upset."
"Um... yeah, no, I'm fine. I'm just... yeah, worried about Lex. He had a meeting with his dad today, and he gets all... weird."
"Well, don't worry. Luthor can take care of himself."
"You can go and check on him after dinner, Clark."
*wolfing food*
"Clark, slow down! Chew your food, sweetie. You've got plenty of time to go check on Lex. You want to take him something to eat?"
*choke cough cough splutter*
"You doing okay there, son?" *pounding*
"Yeah--" *cough* "--fine--" *wheeze* "--thanks. Hey, Mom? Can I be excused please?"
"Sure, honey. I'll just wrap your plate up for later."
"Thanks, Mom."
"Be careful!"
"Always."
The End.
Author: Kel
Rating: NC-17ish
Pairing: Lex/Clark
Summary: In Which Clark Receives A Phone Call
Archive: Knock Yourself Out
Notes: Blame my inner Trekker for the title; it's one of Khan's myriad references to Moby Dick in ST II: The Wrath of Khan.
*ring* *ring* *ring*
"Hello?"
"Hello, handsome."
"Hey, Pete."
"Pete? Unless I've changed--oh, I've caught you at a bad time, haven't I?"
"Yeah. You could say that. Mom and Dad are eating dinner right now and they're waiting for me."
"Well, they'll just have to wait now, won't they?"
"You're mean, you know that?"
"I pride myself on it. I take great pains to be that."
"You're *not* all that, my friend."
"I'm truly hurt you think that. What was that thump?"
"I boosted myself up on the counter. Mom'll kill me, but it's comfortable."
"Ever jerked off while you were sitting up there?"
"I'm hanging up the phone now."
"Then I guess that means you don't want to hear about tonight's plans, hmm?"
"We have... plans?"
"I do. And if you're... sufficiently repentant... they could involve you too."
"Suff--"
"Do you want to hear about them or not?"
"I guess?"
"Without the question mark."
"I guess."
"You don't sound too enthused... don't I excite you anymore?"
"You're pouting."
"I'm just wondering if you're getting tired of me."
"You know I'm not. This... is just not a good time."
"Too many other ears around?"
"Something like that."
"Then just listen. When I'm done you can answer me yes or no."
"Okay." *muffled* "In just a minute, Dad. Pete needs this stuff for school."
*more muffled mumbling*
"Sorry, man."
"No problem, Clark. I know you like to watch me, so tonight, I'm going to let you. Make you, even. I'm going to spread myself out in the middle of the bed and just... touch myself. Let you watch me jerk myself off... make you watch me slide my fingers in my ass--"
"Oh man. You're fucking evil."
"I do try, Clark."
"You know just what you're doing, don't you?"
"Telling my boyfriend what I have planned for him tonight?"
"I hate you. Have I told you that lately?"
"You don't hate me."
"At this moment? Yes, I do."
"No, Clark. At this moment? You're hard and wishing you could shove it down my throat and choke me on it."
"You got it in one."
"Because if I had a mouthful of your cock, I wouldn't be talking. Just... sucking."
"Which... would be a *really* nice thing."
"That I wouldn't be talking? Or that I'd be sucking your cock?"
"Both?"
"Without the question mark, please. I'll break you of the habit yet."
"Both!" *muffled* "Sorry, Mom. I'm just helping Pete study. Five more minutes, I promise."
"You know, Clark... I'm beginning to think you have a secret fondness for Pete."
"Not in the slightest. Get back to what you were doing."
"You're getting awfully bossy, Clark. Does that mean our plans are going to be changing? You're going to tie me up and get that wicked little glint in your eye as you fuck me--"
"You realize I'm going to have to kill you for this."
*chuckle* "I haven't done anything. Just made one innocent... little... call."
"My ass."
"What about your ass? It's a very nice ass. It's just the right size, and it's nice and tight and hot. And oh so wonderful to fuck. The way your ass just grips my cock--"
"*Please!*"
"Begging for it now. I should do this more often. I love when you beg, Clark. You close your eyes, did you know that? You close your eyes and tilt your head back and give me your throat, begging me to suck you, fuck you, touch you and taste you...God."
"Wh--what are you d-doing?"
"Jerking off, Clark. These thoughts... just so hot."
"Fuck."
"Tonight. I swear it." *muffled grunting*
"*Fuck!* Did you--"
"I'll see you tonight, Clark."
*click*
"Motherfucker."
"Clark Kent! Where did you learn language like that?"
"At school, Mom."
"Well... come on back in here and finish your dinner. I don't want to hear you talking like that in this house again, young man."
"Probably that damned Luthor's fault."
"Jonathan! Watch *your* language!"
"You all right, son? You look kinda... upset."
"Um... yeah, no, I'm fine. I'm just... yeah, worried about Lex. He had a meeting with his dad today, and he gets all... weird."
"Well, don't worry. Luthor can take care of himself."
"You can go and check on him after dinner, Clark."
*wolfing food*
"Clark, slow down! Chew your food, sweetie. You've got plenty of time to go check on Lex. You want to take him something to eat?"
*choke cough cough splutter*
"You doing okay there, son?" *pounding*
"Yeah--" *cough* "--fine--" *wheeze* "--thanks. Hey, Mom? Can I be excused please?"
"Sure, honey. I'll just wrap your plate up for later."
"Thanks, Mom."
"Be careful!"
"Always."
The End.